


A Moment of Truth

by kzam



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:22:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 93,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kzam/pseuds/kzam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud is the sole survivor of an infantry patrol gone terribly awry, and unfortunately for him, the Army is looking for a scapegoat. No one was prepared for a SOLDIER to crash the court-martial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks so much for taking the time to check this story out - I really hope you like it! I've been working on it for a while now, so I'm excited to finally be able to start sharing it.
> 
> Warnings: Language, violence, and death (the warnings are predominantly for this chapter alone - parts are a bit heavy, so proceed with caution).

* * *

A disposable ShinRa grunt. That was what the general public and his fellow infantrymen called him…but he'd never truly believed that was what he was. Not until now.

"Are you aware of the severity of the charges you're facing today, Private Strife?"

He tried not to grimace—of course he was aware. Too aware. "Yes, sir."

"Yet you decline to have any counsel to represent you during this hearing?"

It wasn't an actual trial. Technically he wasn't required to have anyone speak on his behalf despite the fact he was authorized to requisition someone who specialized in military policy and protocol—a military lawyer, essentially. And while he desperately wanted someone to speak on his behalf…this was something he needed to do for himself.

"That's correct, sir," Cloud responded after a moment, unable to hold back the quiver in his voice as he tried his best to stand tall.

More than anything, he wanted to sink down into the chair behind him…he wanted to hide his face in his hands and let the tears he was fighting fall freely. Further grieving would have to wait though. For now…for his fallen comrades, he would get through this.

"Let the record indicate that you declined counsel," the man on the far right side of the panel spoke, his crooked smile almost malicious as he eyed Cloud.

He stood at attention, hands behind his back and head held high despite the weight he felt on his shoulders and the ache in his gut. This wasn't the time to buckle under the pressure of his own weaknesses. His squad mates had been slaughtered, and yet he was alive—standing in his dress blues as he prepared to relive a night he was sure he would never forget in front of the eyes and ears of a panel of his commanding officers.

Not his direct supervisors. These were the top brass—men he'd never met or even gazed upon until now. The kind of Army officials who kissed ass or bribed their way into their rank, and likely never risked any actual field experience. The kind of men who only emerged from their cozy offices to oversee publicity parades, or at times like these…when an enlisted serviceman was court-martialed.

It was almost ironic that his fate was in their hands—the very men who perpetuated the failures of the army. His failures were  _their_ failures, at least in part—not that they would ever see it that way. To them, he was nothing. All that mattered was washing their hands clean of this  _incident._ Four dead infantrymen and two collapsed buildings…a fire that spread through the rubble to the nearby apartments, and an unknown civilian death toll. That definitely reflected poorly on the company…ShinRa  _ran_ the city, and so keeping the city safe was one of the functions of the ShinRa Army.

Someone had to be held accountable for the army's blatant failure that night, and judging by the looks he was receiving from the five men on the panel…that someone would be him.

"Take us through what happened, step by step—the investigation mentioned a patrol?" another man inquired, hands folded on the table and eyes piercing Cloud where he stood.

"That's correct, sir," the blond agreed, allowing himself a deep breath before continuing. It was nerve-wracking…standing before these men, knowing all eyes in the room were on him. He couldn't falter though…he  _had_ to do this himself. "It was a standard patrol on the outskirts of Sector Eight. My squad had taken the same route every night for the past two weeks."

"Were you aware of any unique circumstances prior to this particular patrol?"

"No, sir. Intel hadn't reported any unrest in the area, so we treated it like any other night."

"When did you realize it  _wasn't_ like any other night?"

"We were roughly two clicks away from the residential area…just outside the fallen furniture factory building. That was when Sargent Timmons triggered a landmine," Cloud answered, finally lowering his head.

Sargent Timmons was an asshole. He was pompous and condescending during even the best of times…The man didn't deserve to die for it though. Speaking his name after seeing what happened to him was nearly enough to unravel Cloud, and he was sure he would feel just as torn up inside when it was time to speak about the rest of his squad too. He'd been assigned to Sargent Timmons' unit over a year ago, and had worked with those same men every day since. Each of their deaths haunted him, no matter what his personal feelings were toward any of them.

It was for those same men that he had to keep speaking though—their story needed to be heard. How could a group of grunts on a standard patrol have ever anticipated a terrorist attack? After two years of service, the most action he'd seen was from a domestic dispute in the slums. Their duties were more akin to the neighborhood watch back in Nibelheim than anything he expected when he joined the Army, and their training…it definitely hadn't prepared him for a situation like that.

These officers needed to know that there were some serious training issues the Army needed to address to prevent unnecessary deaths like this. Even if they didn't give a damn about him or his squad mates…surely it was in ShinRa's best interest to take preventative action, if nothing else.

Another deep breath steeled his resolve, and he continued, "We were patrolling in a standard arrow formation, with Sargent Timmons on point. He…didn't die right away. Private Edmunds had our group's medical kit, but nothing…we tried, but there was nothing we could do for him at that point."

"Sargent Timmons was the ranking NCO on your squad—who assumed command when he was down?"

"We looked to Sargent Higgins for orders," Cloud explained vaguely, his heart racing anxiously.

They didn't need to know more…it was the entire reason he had opted to speak for himself instead of taking on any counsel. It would have been preferable to let someone speak on his defense, but every single Army-appointed attorney he'd attempted to speak with all said the same thing.

_"If you tell them what happened with Sargent Higgins, no one will blame you. Under Policy M718 it was his responsibility."_

That just wasn't going to happen. No one needed to hear about how Sargent Higgins froze up—about the nauseated look on his face at the sight of Sargent Timmons mangled body. No one needed to know he was so distraught that he failed to offer a single order even though he was next in line to do so…and that  _he_ had no choice but to assume control of the group at that point.

Sure, Cloud could try to explain. He could tell them that maybe if Sargent Higgins had done what he was supposed to do…that maybe things would have gone differently. He could tell them that he was just a private—the youngest, quietest member on the squad who spent most his time as the butt of his squad mates' jokes…that he had no business being the one issuing orders to anyone.

What good would it do to say those things though? Maybe they'd let him off the hook, but he'd never be able to let himself off the hook if he did that. There was no need to ruin the reputation of a dead man, especially when he wasn't the one at fault. As far as any of these bastards needed to know, his entire unit had acted admirably—it just hadn't been enough.

"Private, I'll ask again," the man to the far left said, his stern voice snapping Cloud out of his trance. "What were Sargent Higgins' orders?"

His heart sank as he made the same assessment he had that night. "A landmine meant one of two things…and there was enough commotion nearby to narrow it down to an ambush. Under the circumstances, there was only one thing to do…"

"And what was that?"

"Take cover," he replied softly, closing his eyes as the words echoed through his mind—words that Sargent Higgins had never uttered.

They were the words  _he_ had spoken that night.

_Higgins had been the closest to Timmons—literally. They'd been walking in standard five man patrol formation, maintaining a staggered distance between one another for what they had all assumed would be a typical evening…uneventful and tedious. An ambush was unheard of within the city's limits, and definitely hadn't been a part of any of their mock-training._

_Three men were looking to Higgins, helplessly awaiting orders or_ something— _anything to tear their eyes away from the remains of their group's leader. The blast had been relatively contained, but even still, blood was splattered across Higgins' face and the impact had shaken him in more way than one…there were no hostiles in sight, but the commotion nearby…They needed to be prepared, not standing out in the open waiting for Higgins to snap out of it._

_Wide eyes fell to Cloud, filled with shock and panic—sadness and disbelief._

_He never wanted this…but there would be time to think about that later. "Take cover!" he ordered, doubting anyone could even hear over the sound of a second blast—a bit further off this time, not set off by any of his squad mates._

_Whatever triggered that blast, its impact didn't sound good. Most of the buildings in the area were poorly built already…a powerful enough explosion nearby any of them could easily do irreparable damage, if not cause an outright collapse. The area was already known for its buildings not being built up to code, and there were plenty of fallen buildings around to attest to that. ShinRa was 'handling' those issues, but apparently not in this sector yet._

_There wasn't time to assess any new damages to the local infrastructure though. The sound of gunfire was in the air, along with yelling and screaming…surely a mix of hostiles and civilians. It was definitely getting closer, too. He pulled out his PHS to try calling for back up, but was quickly dismayed to see the signal was jammed. Any thoughts of scouting, retreating, or sending someone to physically request backup wouldn't be possible with the commotion advancing upon them so rapidly. All they could do was be prepared._

_There were a few options for cover in the area, and Cloud quickly took one of those—debris left from a collapsed factory building. He gestured instinctively, racking his brain to make sure the hand signals were the right ones to let his squad mates know they should get down as well._

_Luckily they snapped out of their dazes, momentarily at least. Whether it was in response to his signals or not, he wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. Higgins and Sully were soon huddled behind a second pile of rubble nearby, and Edmunds was at the corner of a building to their rear. For a moment they were safe…granted, safety was a matter of perspective in their current predicament._

_He needed to calm down, he realized. Somehow he was out of breath despite the fact nothing had happened to him. His heart was racing faster than he could ever recall, sweat was prickling his forehead…and his rifle. It caught his complete attention, his eyes transfixed on it. Why was it shaking in his hands?_

_There were plenty of times in his life when he was sure he was afraid. When his mother caught him smuggling fresh baked cookies into his bedroom as a child…the day he'd confessed his plan to leave home for Midgar—the day he'd actually followed through with that plan. The moment he'd met his drill instructor in boot camp and gotten his ass handed to him for forgetting to salute…countless hours spent awake in the barracks, unable to sleep because the last time he'd dozed off for too long, some jerks from another training platoon had stolen his only pair of regulation socks…again._

_Now he knew he'd never truly been afraid. It took a solid minute for him to recognize the fact that it wasn't his rifle that was shaking—_ he  _was shaking, from head to toe._

_"Focus," he berated himself, knowing there was no more time to waste._

_He peered over his cover, his gun at the ready—the safety was switched off, and he didn't hesitate. Four hostiles were in sight now, approaching with weapons drawn—they saw nothing but the remains of Sargent Timmons, and Cloud intended to keep it that way. Years of joking about target practice being good for nothing but impressing civilians were quickly proven wrong as he rattled off his first shot._

_A headshot, to the man on the left side of the group. He had actually been aiming for the man's chest, but…he would have to worry about his shitty aim later._

_Cloud ducked back under cover, not daring to think about what he'd just done—that he'd just killed someone. This was a combat situation now. Maybe that man had a family...and maybe he and his companions had some twisted reasons for whatever it was they were hoping to accomplish. Those concerns didn't matter yet. What mattered now was that the men who were approaching had weapons drawn, and a clear intent to kill._

_Three hostiles remained, and his squad still had four members. They could handle this._

_He gave the return fire signal to his comrades, knowing it was now or never_ _—they were screwed if the hostiles got too close. Before he could poke back up for his next shot, he was relieved to see Sully reacting to his signal, mimicking his actions_ _—Higgins was still slumped where he sat, hands clamped over his ears as Sully fired his rifle._

_It wasn't right._

_Of all his squad mates, Higgins was the one who was supposed to stay cool under fire...Sargent Higgins had always been, Cloud thought, the ideal example of what a leader should be. A genuinely good guy who went of his way to keep the peace when Timmons was on another tangent about everyone's boots needing to be polished._

_And Private Sully...he was the_  last  _member of the squad Cloud would have expected to step up like this. Sully was a notorious brown-noser, always doing whatever it took to stay in Timmons' good graces...How long had it been since Cloud decided it was best to just ignore Sully entirely because listening to him was tiresome?_

 _Never again_ _—he would never ignore Sully again, he decided_ _. A newfound respect and appreciation for his fellow private filled him, and he'd never forget it._   _Sully_ _was doing a damn good job._

 _Cloud peered out of his cover, eyes sweeping the field to assess the situation once more. One of the remaining hostiles had taken a hit to the arm, it seemed, and now the man was aggravated_ _—he was firing back with a nonstop barrage._

_Shit._

_There were definitely more than three now. Edmunds was looking to him after firing off his own shot, quickly resuming his cover behind the building to the rear—the incoming fire was too much for four infantrymen to handle alone, and they all knew it._

_Fall back…Cloud signaled Edmunds, knowing at least_ one  _of them needed to get away and call for help. Now that they knew which direction the hostiles were approaching from, it was only one logical option. Edmunds was the furthest back, and that left him in the best position to get away in the circumstances. If he and Sully could just hold off the hostiles in the meantime, it would be fine. Maybe Higgins would get his act together and help too. Then Edmunds would return with back up, and—oh, no…_

_That damn materia. "Leave it!" Cloud exclaimed, watching in horror as Edmunds' prized possession fell from his pocket._

_How many nights had Edmunds spent raving about his indulgent purchase? The item he was determined to master one day, even if it killed him...Just an hour ago he had tossed it up and down in the air as they walked, swearing up and down with it that he was getting close to figuring out how to use it._

_"Edmunds, no!" he shouted as loudly as he could, cover be damned—they already knew exactly where he was anyway. What mattered was Edmunds, and telling him to stop._

_Maybe his squad mate heard the shout, and maybe he didn't—Cloud would never know. The small green orb rolled along the dirt, the ground shaking from gun fire doing nothing to stop it…and the fool ducked out to retrieve it. He seemed to realize the error of his decision immediately, but it was too late—he kicked the materia toward Cloud, and judging by the number of shots that hit him…he was probably dead before he hit the ground._

"Nothing in the report or your testimony explain the fire," the eldest man—a colonel, Cloud noted from the stripes on his collar—said, his tone filled with accusation. He looked to his left and right, meeting the eyes of the other ranking officials at the table before his gaze fell back to Cloud. It was sharp, silently demanding further explanation…Cloud just shifted uncomfortably where he stood though, having nothing to add on that subject.

The colonel persisted, "Even a landmine blast wouldn't account for all the damage to the local infrastructure. It looked more like the result of—"

"Materia use."

That was not the voice of anyone on his panel of judges. All five men had spoken at some point during the hearing…this new voice was smooth and distinct, sending a jolt down his spine. There was no way he would have forgotten it so easily. It had come from behind him, where a mix of civilians and other infantrymen were seated to watch the hearing. He was sorely tempted to spin around and see who had spoken so boldly, but falling out of attention would only get him into further trouble with the officers at this point.

Still, whoever it was…only an idiot would cut off a colonel, especially during an official hearing.

Well, an idiot or someone of an even higher rank. But the highest ranked members of the Army were sitting at the panel already, to the colonel's right and left—sure, there were others of equal or higher status, but they were scattered among the other ShinRa bases rather than lumped together in the same location. That only left one other possibility…whoever had spoken was either an idiot or a—

"SOLDIER has no business at an Army sanctioned court-martial," the colonel stated, eyes narrow as the man who had spoken began to approach.

Cloud's eyes went wide, but somehow he held in his awe and curiosity as the familiar sound of combat boots hitting the wooden floor grew closer.

"I have a letter with the president's seal that states otherwise," the man with the smooth voice countered, a smugness in his tone as he finally stepped into Cloud's peripheral. "Trust me, Tibbs, I have no interest in being at your silly little hearing."

It took every ounce of self-control he had not to turn to the right and gawk at this man, but somehow he managed. To say something like that to a colonel…yeah, SOLDIER and the Army were technically separate organizations and didn't answer to one another, but still. He was a bit envious, actually. If only  _he_ could speak so freely to these officers…there were a few things he'd like to say.

 _"Colonel_  Tibbs," the old man corrected indignantly, rising to his feet and holding out his hand expectantly.

The SOLDIER at Cloud's side let out an exasperated sigh before approaching the colonel, handing over a paper with several official seals stamped onto it. Even from where he was standing Cloud could see the triumphant smirk on the SOLDIER's face. He appeared even more delighted as the colonel grew more frustrated, chuckling softly as he put his hands on his hips. Nothing else came out of his mouth though—he just kept watching the colonel, like he was waiting for something.

Whoever told him SOLDIERs were flashy bastards and show offs...they may have been under-exaggerating, Cloud decided. His eyes swept the man up and down now that he was within his direct line of sight, wondering vaguely how such a long, leather jacket was practical for combat…especially a red one. It suited the man well, but surely that jacket made it difficult in situations where he needed to blend in with the scenery or crowd.

Then again, he didn't know much about what SOLDIERs  _actually_ did. He had only ever met one, and  _that_ SOLDIER…well, it seemed likely he may have been exaggerating about his duties a bit. The only bit of truth was what everyone knew—SOLDIERs were ShinRa's elite. They were the reason the regular Army could be assigned to do such menial work. Aside from war times, there really was no need to have a fully functional army—certain divisions still trained accordingly, and the rest were just part of the show.

Who would defy an army so vast? It wasn't like the general public knew half the Army were poorly trained grunts like Cloud, kept on payroll and sent to do mindless work to keep their numbers up. So long as SOLDIER handled the monsters, terrorists, and whatever else they did, it all worked out. Except when it didn't, but that was what court-martials were for, apparently.

"Conscription?" Colonel Tibbs scoffed, slamming the paper down on the table in front of him. His anger only prompted more laughter from the man in red, causing Cloud to bite his lower lip to refrain from laughing as well. The private had never heard the word before, but he liked the effect it was having on the colonel. "I refuse to allow this."

"You were planning to discharge him anyway—dishonorably, I assume. I'm doing you a favor by taking him off your hands."

"He's been charged with desertion! The rescue team found him curled up in a ball, hiding more than thirty meters away from the scene! If he hadn't fled, his squad may have lasted until—"

Every word made Cloud's heart sink, and suddenly he felt weak in the knees. All the curiosity and entertainment the SOLDIER had stirred inside him was forgotten as he let himself fall into the chair behind him. He was supposed to remain at attention until the officers directed him otherwise, but he no longer cared. It seemed his assumptions about the likely outcome of the hearing were correct anyway—if he were about to get discharged, what was one more violation? They hadn't even gotten to that part of his testimony, but it was clear by the way the colonel had spoken so adamantly that the SOLDIER was correct in his assertion.

It didn't matter  _what_ he had to say about that night. In his gut, he'd already known that…but somewhere in his heart, he'd still dared to hope otherwise. The harsh reality made it impossible to pay attention to anything else that was happening, though it seemed to be growing more heated. Well, the colonel was more heated—whoever that SOLDIER was, nothing the colonel said was affecting him. The power struggle and the colonel's irrationally hot temper were eerily familiar...it almost reminded him of Sargent Timmons, always throwing his rank around and wanting people to bow down to him.

It was just another reason to block out their conversation—he couldn't handle any more reminders of his fallen comrades right now.

"You're speaking as if he's already been found guilty. I was under the impression your hearing hadn't reached its conclusion yet."

"That's not the point!" Tibbs exclaimed, his face red with anger. "You're rewarding him for—"

"For putting up with listening to you, yes. I'm impressed he's lasted this long—if it were up to me, I'd give him a medal for that alone. These hearings are so mundane."

"You have no right to barge in here and interrupt this hearing. Conscription or not, this hearing will proceed, and you can do as you see fit afterward."

The redhead let out a thoughtful  _hmm_ before shaking his head. "No."

Tibbs leaned across the table, his voice hushed but furious as he spoke, "He's not leaving until this matter is resolved. I don't give a damn what this letter says, Rhapsodos—"

"Ah, I think it's only fair you refer to me by rank if you plan on insisting I do the same for you."

"…General Rhapsodos. With due  _respect_ , your rank is irrelevant here. This court-martial will adjourn when I say it does, and I'm not through with Private Strife yet."

"It's classified."

" _What's_ classified?"

"You were questioning him about a fire in the outskirts of Sector Eight earlier this week, and I'm afraid that information is classified. Any further investigation into this matter has been suspended—it's stated very clearly on the form I handed you."

The colonel glanced at the sheet squashed below his palm once more, scowling. "Since when do you fill out paperwork?"

"I don't. One of my men filled it out and made sure to get the appropriate signatures. I was tempted to send someone else to deliver the form today, but I must say, it was well worth the trouble—the look on your face right now is priceless," General Rhapsodos revealed, apparently not caring about the gasps his remarks were eliciting from around the room. He put a hand of his own down on the panel's table, somehow matching the colonel's gesture with much more finesse. "He's mine, and I'll be taking him now."

"The entire point of this hearing is that he doesn't  _know_ about the fire—he turned and fled before he saw what happened," Colonel Tibbs insisted, too focused on the SOLDIER to notice Cloud tense up—too caught up in the debate to see how the private clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes defiantly. The blond had zoned out most of their bickering, lost in a downward spiral of thoughts…but the colonel's assumptions drew him back, at least momentarily. "So if it's classified, he wouldn't know enough to speak of it anyway."

"You're wrong, as usual," the general said, sounding entirely too pleased with his own statement.

"The evidence from the investigation is overwhelming…Not that you'd have read the reports—I suppose that'd be beneath you."

"I didn't need to read the report, my men were there. Who do you think called in for a rescue team before clearing the area?"

" _You_ …why weren't we notified of SOLDIER's involvement? We send patrols out to that sector on a daily basis! Classified or not, if you know something that affects—"

"It was a one-time incident, and it's been resolved. Your men will be fine to continue mindlessly patrolling the city."

"I'll be filing a complaint with Director Lazard over this."

"I sincerely hope you do. I look forward to my next opportunity to embarrass you in front of your peers, Colonel—until then, I bid you farewell." The man in red spun around gracefully, eyes falling to Cloud immediately—the amusement was lost almost instantly, replaced by something fierce and overbearing. "Let's go, Blondie."

Cloud blinked, unsure exactly what was going on now.  _Blondie?_ He looked around slowly, though doubted the man had been referring to anyone else. It just didn't make sense…He'd spent most of their conversation seething in his seat, too frustrated with the colonel, the panel, the Army—with  _everything_ —to really pay attention to their exchange. As the SOLDIER eyed him though, he suddenly wished he'd had the sense to listen into the entire conversation. The bits and pieces he heard definitely did  _not_ add up to him going anywhere with this man.

"Um—"

"Yes, I'm talking to you," the redhead added, raising his brows impatiently as Cloud stared back openmouthed.

As the SOLDIER stepped in closer, suddenly his dramatic flair was replaced by something intensely intimidating. Cloud tried to rise to his feet, but failed miserably as the man's stare turned into a fierce glare. How was he supposed to go anywhere while someone was looking at him like  _that?_ Instead of facing it head on, he attempted to look around the man, seeking permission from the panel to leave…or  _something_. The meeting hadn't been adjourned—there hadn't been a decision or punishment yet. Wasn't he supposed to be discharged before going anywhere?

The SOLDIER stepped in front of him before he found his answer, blocking his sight and capturing his lost stare with ease. It was like there was no one else in the room—his wide eyes were locked onto an electric blue pair, and he knew he couldn't look away again until the other man allowed it.

"I'm your commanding officer now, and you'll do well to remember that fact. You no longer answer to those men."

Cloud straightened where he sat, not quite knowing what to make of that statement. Something in this man's presence demanded respect, and it wasn't just the fact that he was a SOLDIER or that he had just declared himself Cloud's commanding officer.

"Yes, sir."

It was an automatic response, and one he wasn't certain was appropriate—that was how to address someone of superior rank in the Army, but he hadn't the faintest idea how to address a SOLDIER or what this man was expecting. Thankfully the redhead gave a quick nod of approval, moving suddenly with long, quick steps as he headed toward the room's exit.

The SOLDIER had left him in a daze, but he was able to recollect himself more easily without those eyes boring into him. He jumped to his feet, following with haste—his short legs took twice as many steps to match the man's brisk pace, but somehow he managed to close most of the distance between them. He was only a few paces behind as the redhead opened the door to the room, and the action caused Cloud to tense up one last time.

This was it. Surely the panel of officers would scold him…they would call him back to his position and add this to his list of offenses.

No one spoke though. The man in red stepped out, and Cloud barely snapped out of it in time to exit as well before the door shut once more. A tremendous amount of stress drained from his body as he cleared the doorway, and while he still had no idea what was happening…he welcomed it as a relief.

"Um, sir—" he tried, hoping to get a few answers at least.

"Save the pleasantries. I only agreed to fetch you myself because Tibbs and I have a long history and I couldn't resist seeing his face twist with irritation—someone else will deal with you once we're back at headquarters."

Cloud looked up at the man, brows furrowed with confusion. "Headquarters?"

"Yes. Enough questions—I don't like to repeat myself. Someone else will brief you."

"Yes, sir," Cloud responded, again automatically. He was hesitant to speak after that, but as the man slowed his pace just barely—just enough for him to catch up—well, he couldn't refrain. He wasn't sure why, but he felt an overwhelming desire to let this man know he appreciated whatever it was he had just done. "Thank you for—"

"Ah, you don't want to finish that sentence," General Rhapsodos warned, his ominous tone stilling Cloud's heart. "Trust me, Blondie…if you thank me now, you'll regret it later."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, thanks so much for all the lovely feedback so far. It means a lot to me - I really appreciate it more than I know how to express!
> 
> I've been asked a few times, so for anyone else who may be wondering...I'm aiming to update this story roughly once a week (ideally on the same day each week, but no guarantees).

* * *

SOLDIER Headquarters.

Unlike the Army, SOLDIER operated out of ShinRa's main tower in Midgar—maybe because their numbers were fewer and they didn't need an actual base, or maybe because the president wanted his best men close by at all times. It seemed like he would find out soon enough, though the man in red  _still_ wasn't offering him any additional clues.

He'd stopped trying to ask before they'd even gotten into the transport, and by then he opted to sit across from the general with his hands in his lap and his head down. At some point General Rhapsodos had pulled out a book and begun reading, but really, Cloud had a lot on his mind anyway—being ignored wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

"Do you always give up so easily?"

His head shot up, meeting the general's curious eyes from across the transport instantly. Even in the poor lighting they were glowing brightly, boring into him from over the top of the open text.

"Excuse me, sir?" The man just raised his brows, wordlessly reminding Cloud… _I don't like to repeat myself._ He straightened up where he sat, flustered enough without worrying about making this man snap at him again. "I'm sorry, I just…I heard you, sir, I just don't understand the question," Cloud explained quickly, frowning when the redhead blatantly rolled his eyes.

Then he continued reading like they hadn't spoken at all. At least two minutes passed with Cloud watching him scan the pages, not daring to look away just yet. Finally the general crossed his legs, setting the book down by his side before folding his hands together on his knee. It was alarming enough when the man was eyeing him casually, book in hand—now that Cloud had his full attention, he shifted where he sat, swallowing hard as he awaited some kind of a response.

"Surely you have questions—we've been alone back here for forty minutes and you haven't spoken once."

"...You told me someone else would brief me, sir," the blond reminded him as politely as possible, completely baffled as the man smirked. "Are you saying you'll answer my questions now?"

"That depends what you ask," he said simply.

Cloud nodded before spouting off the first question that came to mind. "Why're you bringing me to SOLDIER Headquarters?"

"Why do  _you_ believe I'm bringing you?"

His own thoughts made him cringe. "Is it…for my punishment?"

From his understanding, punishments from military court-martials ranged from loss of rank all the way up to dishonorable discharges…and certain crimes, like the one he was accused of committing, could result in being detained in a military confinement cell. ShinRa didn't like to call it military prison, but Cloud knew better than that. He wasn't the same naïve backwater boy he'd been when he first came to Midgar...or at least not completely. The last few weeks in particular felt like they had aged him more than the last two years combined.

What he really  _didn't_  know was why SOLDIER would be involved with any of this—but the way this man had argued so openly with Colonel Tibbs, it was hard to be sure of anything anymore.

"Did you suffer a head wound that night?" the general responded, looking mildly amused as Cloud blinked in confusion and prepared to say no—before he could though, he realized it was a rhetorical question. "Why would I pull you out of a court-martial to punish you? That would make absolutely no sense. If I wanted to see you punished, I would have left you there with Tibbs."

"You told me not to thank you—it sounded like whatever you want with me isn't anything good."

" _Good_ is a matter of perspective. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a SOLDIER?" the general asked. Cloud suspected he already knew the answer— _everyone_ thought about being a SOLDIER—but he conceded a small nod. "Well, you're about to find out. It's not as glamorous as you probably believe."

His eyes grew wider as he tried to process that statement, but for some reason it wasn't registering properly in his mind. "…I don't understand."

"You've been selected," the redhead explained, eyes dancing as he watched Cloud carefully. "You look surprised. Surely you knew—one does not  _choose_ to join SOLDIER. Only a select few are recruited."

Of course he knew that…he had tried  _so hard_  to be one of those select few just two years prior, but to no avail. That was when he joined the Army instead, needing to work in the mean time...Something told him the general wasn't actually interested hearing that story, which was fine—he wasn't exactly in the mood for sharing the humiliating details of his past with someone he'd just met, General or not. He held tongue, waiting out the silence a moment before the general pressed on with the conversation.

"Recruiting members of the Army is a bit trickier because they don't like to let anyone out of their clutches, especially not anyone talented—it's only allowed with the president's explicit permission. It's called a process called conscription."

That word…suddenly a few things from the hearing were making much more sense. But not everything. "You chose to conscript  _me_?" he asked slowly.

"Let me be clear _—I_  had nothing to do with your selection. Your conscription was the result of your actions that night. Based off the reports it seems you may be suited for this program, but ultimately I'll be the judge of that. If you fail to meet my expectations, someone will be taking you directly back to Colonel Tibbs to get that dishonorable discharge."

The blond looked down at his boots, suddenly very interested in how loose the knot in his shoelaces had become. His normal infantry boots had zippers...it was definitely more practical than the formal pair he was wearing with his dress blues. His eyes flickered over to the general's boots when that thought wasn't distracting enough, fixating on the buckles and clasps at the top. They weren't like standard Army boots or even standard SOLDIER boots, but they weren't intricate enough to keep his mind busy for long either.

Eventually he shifted in his spot again, the drawn out pause in the air growing heavier than the conversation had been. The luminous eyes scrutinizing his every movement were doing little to soothe the uneasiness he felt, and so he forced himself to speak again despite the fact he wasn't ready for it.

"So...you know what happened that night?"

"Yes. The real question is, do  _you_ know what happened that night?" Another question countered with a question. Cloud looked up helplessly, hoping the man would add  _something_  more insightful...dreading it at the same time. "I wonder, was it just a fluke?"

"I'd never even held a materia before then," Cloud admitted, a hand on the back of his neck as his heart thumped in his chest.

It had definitely been a fluke, and he knew he had essentially just confirmed that. The general's stare turned passive though, like he was appraising Cloud—he tapped his chin, seemingly content to keep his thoughts to himself.

"Can you wield a sword?" the redhead asked after a moment.

That was an odd question…He was in the Army—an infantryman. His primary weapon was a rifle. "I've only had some basic training."

"I wasn't aware they covered swordplay in the Army's basic training program."

If he knew that much, then why ask? This man was growing frustrating, and Cloud was beginning to wish he'd pick his book back up so that they could go back to pleasantly ignoring one another...but it looked unlikely that would happen anytime soon. Not while he was clearly enjoying this so much—the smallest smirk had curled the general's lips again, and Cloud hadn't failed to notice the glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"They don't, sir. I trained with a friend."

"Ah. Playing with sticks as a child? I hardly think that counts."

What the hell…Cloud narrowed his eyes, momentarily forgetting to remember his place. "My friend is a SOLDIER, and we use real swords."

"A SOLDIER?" General Rhapsodos repeated, genuinely intrigued this time. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you Blondie?"

"I guess so," he muttered, letting out the sigh he'd been fighting.

Surprises and mysteries, because somehow he'd managed to ask a series of questions without getting any real answers out of this man.

The transport came to an abrupt halt before he could find the will to try getting more information, and General Rhapsodos was on his feet and out the back before Cloud even had time to rise. He jumped up, ready to hustle and catch up with the man  _again_ , but quickly noted the book the general had left behind. On impulse he retrieved it, ready to hand it back to the SOLDIER upon exiting the transport…But when he stepped out, the general was already gone.

In front of him was a tower he'd been to on more than one occasion, but for some reason it felt like he was arriving for the very first time. Maybe because he'd never really taken the time to  _look_ at it...He only ever come as a visitor before, dragged along by his friend. Something about  _this_ visit felt drastically different, and it didn't take long for him to recognize why.

It was childish, but he couldn't fight it. The feeling swelling inside him...it was the same strange mix of wonder and hope that he'd felt when he first arrived in Midgar.

He'd never given up on his dreams, but he was sure he'd outgrown this ridiculous sense of simplicity. Entering the city hadn't miraculously prepared him to join SOLDIER, and waltzing up to this building didn't either. It took hard work to achieve goals like the ones he had, and as far as he was concerned, he still had a lot to prove. Now more than ever. After failing to save even  _one_ of his squad mates...As much as he wanted to blame the Army for failing to train them properly, that didn't change the fact that he was alive and they were dead. What he did—how he'd saved himself—that definitely didn't make him SOLDIER material.

So knowing all that...why would he bother feeling this way again? General Rhapsodos may have mentioned conscription, but there  _had_ to be more to it than that.

No amount of logic couldn't keep his hopes at bay indefinitely. They were already rising rapidly, extending up into the sky as he stared up at the building in awe—he couldn't even see the top of the tower from where he was standing. And the  _people..._ were there always so many people in and around the tower? With a building this large, probably. Normally he'd be too engrossed listening to his friend tell some wild story to really pay attention to everything and everyone. Now that he was alone, it was impossible not to notice. The area was much more hectic than he'd realized—it was no wonder he'd managed to lose someone as distinct as General Rhapsodos so easily...

Some of the people shuffling by were in business suits, some in security uniforms, some even appeared to be civilians...Definitely no tall, irritating SOLDIERs in long leather jackets. There were, however, SOLDIERs in a more standard uniform. The sweater, waistband, pauldrons—it all looked very familiar. Just like his SOLDIER buddy's, except most were wearing a burgundy color rather than a deep blue.

One of those men approached him directly, a helmet concealing most of his facial features. "Cadet Strife?"

_Cadet?_ He arched an eyebrow before straightening out where he stood on instinct. "Yes, sir," he responded hesitantly.

The SOLDIER didn't respond for a long moment, and he realized he  _still_ didn't know what formalities SOLDIERs used—it wasn't like the general had mentioned that he was supposed to salute or anything like that. Luckily this SOLDIER loosened up a bit, a big smile visible below the ridge of his helmet.

"Relax," the man said, clamping a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "My name's Kunsel—I'll be showing you around. First things first though…you rode in with General Rhapsodos?"

"Yes, sir."

"Don't worry about the 'sir'—if everything goes well, you and I will be equals soon. From what I hear, you're a shoe in for Third Class," he explained, gesturing with his head for Cloud to follow him into the lower level of the massive tower. He followed eagerly, immediately relieved that this SOLDIER walked a normal pace—it gave him time to look around, taking in some of his new surroundings. How many times had he walked right by all this, mindlessly getting on the elevator without a single glance around? "I assume he didn't tell you anything about what's going on with you, huh?"

"No, not at all," Cloud responded casually, trying not to make it sound like the complaint that it was.

"No problem. Just stick with me, and I'll teach you everything you need to know about this place. There's a lot going on, and I like to be in the know, you know?"

"Um…sure," Cloud agreed, forcing a smile as he debated what that actually meant. Either way, knowing someone who knew more had to be a good thing. He followed the SOLDIER toward the elevators willingly, eyes scanning the room along the way—it wasn't until they stepped inside and the doors slid closed that he turned back to Kunsel. "Are we going to be seeing General Rhapsodos again?"

"No. I'll be the one getting you situated."

"Oh, good. Can you maybe give him this book? He left it on the transport—"

Kunsel's jaw hung open just slightly as Cloud held out a book to him, shaking his head continuously. "You need to get that to him right away!"

Why was he saying it like it was such a big deal? Cloud frowned, holding out the book again. "Um, but you just said I won't be seeing him, and—"

"Sorry, but I'm not touching that. Last time someone put a finger on his copy of LOVELESS, I heard the guy chopped it off—something about grubby fingerprints," Kunsel said, sounding as tense as he looked—his face may have been hidden below his helmet, but his body language said enough…he was completely rigid.

"You're wearing gloves though," Cloud pointed out, still futilely extending the book to the SOLDIER.

If it were really  _that_ big of a deal to be in possession of this book, he wanted nothing to do with it either. Kunsel just shook his head again, quickly selecting another floor after the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

"I was gonna take us to the SOLDIER floor to show you around, but General Hewley was waiting for him in the lobby—they must have gone up to his office."

Apparently that office was only two floors up from where they had originally stopped. Kunsel stepped out of the elevator this time, motioning quickly for Cloud to follow. Soon they were standing at the beginning of a long corridor, and that was where the SOLDIER stopped.

"Third door on the right—I'll wait by the elevators if you wanna just go drop that off. They're probably just talking—nothing official, don't worry."

His lack of certainty was hardly reassuring, but Cloud managed to bite back an impending sigh.

It seemed a bit silly that Kunsel would be so adamant about not touching the book, but aside from that he was being pretty nice—it wouldn't do him any good to get on Kunsel's bad side by outright refusing to do this. Especially when he had questions, and it sounded like Kunsel had answers.

And if by some chance what General Rhapsodos had said ended up being true—if he really had been brought here as a potential recruit—it was definitely in his best interest to treat this as an order rather than a request. The last thing he wanted to do was get sent back to the Army  _for that dishonorable discharge,_ as he'd been warned.

Without further delay he approached the door, his right hand curled into a fist as he raised it to knock. It didn't even look like the door was closed all the way though, and was impossible for him not to hear what was going on inside the room. There were two men, bickering—one familiar, smooth voice that made him shudder and another calm yet insistent one. Neither sounded angry, but Cloud couldn't help feeling tense as he listened to the exchange from the other side of the door.

_"You can't just interrupt a court-martial, Gen. The president authorized conscripting Strife, not stepping on Tibbs' toes—you were supposed to wait until after it adjourned."_

_"I intended to wait, but the entire hearing was a ruse. They weren't even listening to him—it was all just for show. A_ predictable  _show that no one wanted to watch...I did them a favor by interrupting when I did."_

_"…You intervened just to make it more entertaining?"_

_"Of course."_

_"Genesis! Tibbs filed a complaint before you even got back—Lazard is livid! Sephiroth has been trying to talk him down for the past hour now, and—"_

_"Well clearly that's your fault. You're much better at talking him down than Seph is. Much better at talking to people in general, though I suppose I'm exempt from that today."_

_"Because you don't listen to anyone. Not even me."_

_"That's not true. You're one of the only people I listen to, and all you do is—"_

_"I only lecture you when you do things like this. You're in a position of authority here! Your actions impact more than just—"_

_"Ah, sorry old friend—I believe that knock is for me."_

_"Knock?"_

Cloud hadn't expected those words, but he took them as a cue, rattling a loose fist against the door automatically. It opened just slightly from the touch, confirming his assessment that it hadn't quite been closed. He'd been so busy eavesdropping that he'd forgotten to be nervous—the feeling rushed back as he heard the slight creak of the door, amplifying as footsteps from inside grew closer.

It swung open further, prompting him to take an involuntary step back as the man in red stared down with impatient eyes.

Clearly he'd missed his next cue. "I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but—"

He reached out as he spoke, extending the book toward the redhead, only to have it pressed back against his chest as the man shot him a meaningful glance. "You're late, Strife."

Strife? That was progress. Maybe. The general's stare had him second guessing that in a hurry. "L-late?" he repeated, wide eyes filled with confusion.

"Yes. I can see the Army has taught you no discipline."

"…I don't understand, sir," Cloud responded, heart racing anxiously. "You were expecting me?"

Before answering, he had already pivoted, eyeing a larger man in the room. "Angeal, we'll have to continue this conversation later…it seems I have my work cut out for me with this one."

The burly man let out a short, defeated sigh. "I know you planned this interruption, Gen…but we'll talk later." His eyes fell to Cloud, only softening as he offered an unexpectedly warm smile. "Good luck, Cadet."

_With what?_

He wanted to ask…but instead all he managed was a muffled  _thank you, sir_  before Genesis was ushering him away from the door in a hurry. As soon as it closed behind the general, the book was swiftly snatched from Cloud's grasp and examined thoroughly.

When he was done inspecting it, his gaze fell back to the blond. "I saved you from that hearing…it's only fair for you to spare me a lecture about it," Genesis explained shortly, his expression growing smug as he watched Cloud realize what had actually just happened.

"You left the book on purpose so that I'd track you down to return it?"

"Yes."

He paused, dumbfounded for a moment as he wondered why the man hadn't just  _asked_ him to bring the book instead. "What if I didn't?"

"You are a lot of things, Blondie…and you have a lot to learn, clearly. But you don't strike me as a book thief," he concluded, which…Cloud supposed was an accurate statement, however odd it sounded. "And if by some chance I was wrong, I would have tracked you down to retrieve it myself."

"…And then what?" He regretted asking before the words left his lips.

"Firaga to the face, obviously. This is a first edition!" Genesis declared, looking at Cloud as if he were supposed to be impacted by those words…he wasn't. At all. That only made the general huff. "Just be glad you brought it back to me. Though I suppose I have Kunsel to thank for that?"

Cloud nodded. "He brought me here as soon as I asked about returning it."

"I assumed he would. He's not the most skilled SOLDIER, but he certainly understands how things work around here," Genesis said, smirking as Cloud frowned. "What is it now? You look like you want to say something, but you're holding back again."

"Is it really okay to speak freely?" he asked hesitantly, still not sure what to make of the situation.

One minute the man was proclaiming his authority, the next he was speaking almost casually...Cloud was ready to go back to the large man in the office and offer him a heartfelt  _thank you_ instead of the polite one he'd given, because obviously he really would need all the luck he could get if he had to keep dealing with General Rhapsodos. A single, annoyed red brow that was raised confirmed that assumption.

"Why would you want  _me_ to come interrupt you? At the hearing you made it pretty clear that you didn't want to deal with me."

"It suited my purpose this time. I'd rather deal with you than listen to another one of Angeal's lectures. The bottom line is, you're mine—it made no difference when I announced it. Before, during, after—it was inevitable. Tibbs would have been annoyed regardless, which would have led to a complaint being filed and a lecture from Angeal. It only made sense for me to get some entertainment out of the whole mess."

"Angeal…that was really General Hewley in there?" Cloud asked, brightening a bit where he stood until Genesis' stare turned sharp. "I just…I've heard about him. He wasn't what I expected."

"What do you mean?"

He really didn't want to answer, but it didn't sound like an optional question. "Oh, I…my friend told me how great he is, and how nice—I guess I just wasn't expecting him to be so huge and—"

"Let me get this straight…you'd heard of  _Angeal_ prior to today, but not me?"

"Um…well, you see—"

He put a hand on his hip. "Have you heard of Sephiroth?"

" _General Sephiroth?_ "

The man in red let out the most dramatic sigh Cloud had ever heard, shaking his head along with it. "I'll take that as a yes. I must say, I'm offended. Here I am, recruiting you…going out of my way to help you, and you haven't even the slightest idea who I am. I'm  _at least_ as famous as Angeal, surely."

"I'm sure you are, sir. It's just, my friend—the SOLDIER I mentioned—he told me about General Hewley," he explained again, more adamantly this time.

Genesis paused for a moment, considering Cloud's statement. "…I suppose your friend is a Second Class?"

"Yes, sir."

"Tell me then, when you dreamed of being a SOLDIER, did you also see yourself in Second Class?"

"No, sir," Cloud answered without a second thought. "I wanted to be First."  _Like General Sephiroth._  Something told him not to say that part out loud.

"Do you know how things work around here?"

He blinked…he thought he had a pretty good idea, but obviously not. "No, sir."

"That man was General Hewley and he is the commander of all Second Class SOLDIERs. I assume you know General Sephiroth commands the First Class."

"Yes, sir."

"What does that make me, Blondie?"

"Commander of Third Class?" he guessed cautiously.

"Maybe you aren't entirely hopeless. Can you tell me the difference between the classes?"

"Uh, well…It's ranks, right? So First Class is the bes—" Not the best, or at least that's what Genesis' heated glare was screaming. "The most elite?"

"I suppose I  _am_ a First Class, technically, so I can accept that answer. I want you to pay close attention these next few weeks though, particularly when you learn more about the different classes during your training period. Remember who I am, and that I'm the one who had you conscripted. Then think about what that means."

"You aren't going to tell me?"

"No," he replied decisively, which was exactly what Cloud expected at this point.

The way he promptly walked away from the door hadn't been as expected, but Cloud didn't hesitate to follow this time. It was easier to match the man's quick pace when he didn't have to catch up, and that gave him the chance to steal a glance up every other step of the way. Each look held an unspoken question, but he didn't really see the point in asking any more.

It wasn't until they were halfway to the elevator that the general caught his gaze, somehow looking more intense now despite the fact it was only from the corner of his eyes. "You're due for your official briefing soon—Kunsel should be waiting for you."

"Oh…Right," Cloud muttered, a hand on the back of his neck. It shouldn't have caught him off guard—Kunsel had told him the same thing already. "I just thought maybe I was supposed to go with you now."

The redhead shook his head, jostling his hair just slightly. "You look disappointed," he noted, amused by the notion.

"…I'm sorry, sir."

"Don't be. Just don't expect me to be so nice next time we meet…I have a reputation to maintain, after all."

Cloud had to bite his lip to refrain from snorting at that.

This was all his idea of being nice? Sure, the general had provided him with several unexpectedly good distractions from an otherwise bad day, but nothing about it felt  _nice._ Mildly manipulative and evasive, definitely. And  _maybe_ Cloud found parts of it amusing too—the look he'd gotten Colonel Tibbs to make at the hearing, the way SOLDIERs were apparently  _afraid_ to touch his books...Aside from the whiplash his moods had caused, Cloud couldn't help feeling a bit of intrigue mixed in with all the frustration and confusion.

He didn't get the chance to think further on that topic—the redhead stopped abruptly in his tracks, and Cloud saw the reason right away. Kunsel was standing nearby, no smile to be spotted under the edge of his helmet this time...He was completely at ease though, confirming Cloud's guess that salutes weren't a part of SOLDIER's protocol. Ideally that would be just one of  _several_ differences between the two programs, and he actually couldn't wait to find out more. The last thing he wanted to do was join another organization that operated just like the Army.

SOLDIER...

His childhood dream was taking on a new form as he looked from one SOLDIER to the other, gradually accepting that this was actually happening.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be, but that didn't change his predicament. No matter how disgruntled and upset he felt or what he was going through internally, he needed to make the most of this opportunity. It wasn't just something he wanted to do for himself anymore, and that meant he couldn't fail. Not again.

There was only one glaring issue dampening his resolve at this point, and it wasn't something he could ignore or change. He didn't need to go to some meeting to understand the reason  _why_ he had been conscripted in the first place.

It was definitely because of that damn materia—it was because of the fire. None of that would have even happened if…

"Sir?" Cloud didn't even recognize his own voice, but he felt the strain in it as he spoke. The redhead had already begun to walk off apparently, and Kunsel had turned to the blond with a smile that wasn't reciprocated. The sharp tap of combat boots striding away ceased at the word, though the general didn't take the time to turn around. "You heard what they said about me—Colonel Tibbs and the panel. Why would you want me?"

There was no answer, but somehow the general's silent exit spoke volumes. He  _knew_ , Cloud realized. How much did the reports say about that night?

"Come on—if we hurry up, I should be able to show you around still before the briefing begins," Kunsel urged, his voice barely reaching Cloud as lost himself in an endless storm of thoughts.

All he could manage was a nod of acknowledgement before being gently tugged into the elevator with the SOLDIER.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, again I'm overwhelmed by all the support so far ~ thanks so much!
> 
> Just a quick heads up - this chapter is going to be a bit different than the first two. I'm introducing one of the major headcanons that initially inspired this story...basically, I decided from the beginning that I wanted to take complete creative control over SOLDIER and the Army - how they operate and interact in this AU (some of that you may have noticed already). I am by no means trying to say any of this is canon-valid (it's not), but it IS how the world will function in this story ^.^ There is a plot-related purpose to this headcanon, of course - I hope you like it, or at the very least find it interesting! 
> 
> I'll try to get the next chapter up early (I'm aiming for Monday at the latest) since this one is so headcanon-heavy, and then I'll resume Thursday updates after that.

 

* * *

As it turned out, housing was among the many differences between the Army and SOLDIER.

Even the temporary room he'd been assigned to inside the confines of the ShinRa Tower was a distinct step up from what he'd grown accustomed to over the last couple years. His personal belongings that were left in his old living quarters would be  _retrieved soon_ , according to Kunsel, and he was grateful for that—going back to the Army base himself would only stir more of the memories he was already struggling to contain.

The room itself was drastically different than what he was used to, which also helped him forget.

Instead of being one of twenty men shoved into a room filled with bunk beds, he was in a room by himself. There was no one around to ask him questions about what happened, no empty bunk three spaces down where Sully had slept…it was just  _him_ , alone, and he preferred it that way.

Technically there were two beds, but no one else had shown up and Kunsel had been confident it would stay that way.

_"It's like an Inn room…They keep a few ready for cadets at all times, but they don't get used very often,"_ Kunsel had explained when he left Cloud there for the night.

The bedding itself was different too…the sheet was soft instead of itchy, and the blanket was a fluffy cotton instead of a rough felt. He still hadn't managed to sleep well, but that was just due to the nightmare he hadn't managed to shake yet—and really, he'd lied awake so comfortably that he almost felt as refreshed as he would have after a good night's sleep anyway.

Perhaps the most exciting thing about his temporary room was the attached bathroom—it was a shared bathroom, apparently connecting his room to the room of another cadet, but he certainly wasn't going to complain. Privacy was something he had surrendered when he joined the Army. Plus, there were  _locks_ on the bathroom doors…when he'd discovered that, he'd shut himself in and taken the longest, hottest shower he'd experienced since leaving Nibelheim.

There were other differences around his room as well, and he'd taken the time to note them all as he tried to keep his mind busy. Instead of a standard issue trunk, there was a small dresser between the two beds, with only two drawers—the top had several ShinRa pamphlets, and the bottom was empty. There was also a small closet along the opposite wall, its only contents three uniforms …each of varying sizes. He'd been told it was his responsibility to put in the requisition for spares after determining which was the appropriate size—he didn't have to try them on to know that he would be using the smallest one available.

And the uniform itself…

Cloud finished strapping his harness for the first time, his heart swelling in his chest as he stood in front of the full length mirror that was hung on the inside of the bathroom door.

_"Third Class uniforms are burgundy, Second Class are dark blue, and First Class are black."_

He remembered Kunsel's explanation, and while his current uniform was a deep green, it still made everything that was happening really sink in—there was no denying it when he saw himself in the mirror.

_"Cadets wear green—you go through a month long boot camp before you get assigned to a class."_

Or booted from the program entirely, as it turned out. He still wasn't quite sure what 'assigned a class' meant either…his knowledge of SOLDIER was limited, but parts of it seemed obvious. As far as he knew, everyone began in the Third Class before moving their way up the ranks. All he could guess was that maybe certain individuals were talented enough to automatically begin in Second or First Class—probably the extremely talented ones. That definitely wouldn't be him.

_"But you were conscripted—they wouldn't have gone through the trouble if they didn't already know you'd make it."_

Kunsel really did know a lot. More than Cloud did anyway, and so he was grateful for the crash course he had been given after his briefing. It turned out all a 'briefing' meant was signing forms—nondisclosure agreements, and of course release forms…in case of injury or death. Leave it to ShinRa to make sure they wouldn't be held liable for anything done during boot camp…he'd actually filled out similar paperwork upon joining the Army, and was already expecting more if he truly did survive boot camp and become a SOLDIER.

Once his pauldrons were secure, he looked himself over once more and couldn't bite back another small smile. It was gone from his face as he exited the room though, nerves finally taking the place of the pride that had surged through him.

_"Report to Floor 49, room 35B at 0700 hours for an introductory meeting. I'll be there too—you'll get further instructions then."_

He slid his temporary ID card to access the elevator, hands shaking as he pressed the appropriate button to get him to Floor 49. It only took a minute for the elevator to get him where he needed to be, and soon he was staring at the door to room 35B.

Boot camp.

It already wasn't what he expected, and he hadn't even walked into the room yet. In the Army, boot camp definitely didn't involve an introductory meeting of any kind. All boot camp meant was running drills while getting screamed at by drill sergeants, starting on the very first day…

"Are you planning to enter?"

His eyes went wide as he jumped, staring at the man who had snuck up behind him. "I'm sorry," he said automatically, only calming down when the man shot him a sympathetic smile.

"It's fine," the man assured him, stepping in first and holding the door politely for Cloud to follow.

He didn't hesitate again, embarrassed enough already. Obviously this man was a part of whatever this meeting was—at least he wasn't laughing about catching Cloud working up the nerve to enter. He noted the man wasn't in a SOLDIER uniform, but rather a nice pair of white pants and a purple blazer…an executive, Cloud guessed.

When he was caught staring, he forced himself to pretend to be interested in the room itself, looking around nonchalantly. It was a small space, filled with an ovular table…there were three seats bunched together on one end, and six on the other, rounding the side of the table. Four of the six chairs were filled by young men wearing the same green uniform, and so Cloud quickly took the hint and moved toward one of the empty seats among that group.

Six chairs…it seemed crazy. SOLDIER was more elite than he'd guessed—his Army boot camp consisted of no less than 50 grunts.

"Cloud?"

His eyes snapped up before he had pulled out his chair, recognizing the voice immediately. "Zack!" The remainder of his anxiousness faded when their eyes met, and an uncontrollable smile was plastered on his face. Before he could object, the SOLDIER had rounded the table and pulled him into a familiar, tight hug—lingering more than a moment too long, like always. "Zack, c'mon…" he grumbled, face growing red as he realized all eyes in the room were watching them curiously.

His friend pulled back with obvious reluctance, a goofy smile still on his face. "Sorry, Spike…it's just been a while! I thought you got sent outta the city or something…I definitely wasn't expecting you here." He scanned the blond up and down, chuckling softly as he shook his head in disbelief. A serious expression set in after a moment though, and he arched an eyebrow. "How did—"

"Perhaps your private conversation can wait until after the meeting, Lieutenant Fair?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry Laz," Zack muttered, winking at Cloud before turning and headed toward the far end of the table. He plopped down into one of the chairs, casually ignoring the look the man in the center—the one in the purple blazer—was giving him. "Are we starting?"

The man in purple actually looked mildly amused, but he let out a quick sigh before turning his eyes back to the cadets. Cloud took the opportunity to take his own seat, offering a silent greeting nod in response to the looks he was given from both sides. A loud  _ahem_ from the far end caught all the cadets' attention, and they quickly straightened as they looked to the man in purple.

"My name is Lazard Deusericus, Director of SOLDIER. You may refer to me as Director Lazard—the man to my right is Lieutenant Zackary Fair. While his manners are questionable, he's actually proven himself to be quite useful in the field. He's here today as a representative from the Second Class." Zack offered the cadets a two fingered salute and a smile, though it seemed the smile was mostly just for Cloud—his eyes hadn't left the blond, and Cloud could almost hear the questions rattling off in his friend's mind. The director then looked to his left, another familiar face finally catching some of Cloud's attention. "Why don't you introduce yourself, Kunsel?"

"Hey, why does Kuns get to—"

"Because I can trust Kunsel to act appropriately," the director cut in, and though he was attempting to look stern, Cloud swore he saw a slight smile on the man's face as Zack snorted inelegantly.

Kunsel chuckled at their exchange, helmet still on his head as he peered down the table. "Actually, I think we've all met already. If you forgot though, my name's Kunsel—I'm here as a representative from the Third Class."

"Thank you, Kunsel," Lazard said, nodding in approval before looking from one cadet to the next. "You'll notice there is no representative here from the First Class today—the reason for that is simple. If you do well this month, you will each be assigned to either the Second or Third Class. This is your opportunity to have a member of each class answer any questions you may have before the assessment process begins. Let me start with a question though—do any of you know the differences between the three classes?"

Only one hand shot up, and it was the cadet directly to Cloud's left. He was a burly fellow with perfectly combed short brown hair, sitting tall in his chair as Lazard gave him a nod to speak. The words had were already pouring out of his mouth before he even lowered his hand.

"Classes are the rank system in SOLDIER," he asserted confidently, growing a bit more smug as his fellow cadets all turned their attention to him. "First is the most elite class, followed by Second, and then Third."

"That is what the general public is lead to believe," Lazard confirmed with a small smile, quickly pleasing the cadet who had answered…until he finished his sentence, "but that assumption is incorrect. You've all signed your nondisclosure agreements, and I trust you understand the repercussions of revealing any of the information obtained during this meeting," he said, a long pause as if to allow the gravity of those words to sink in for each individual cadet. When he was sure it had, he continued, "Class is a shorthand term for classification. There are three  _types_ of SOLDIERs, each corresponding with a Class—our type three SOLDIERs, or Third Classes, are materia specialists. Type two SOLDIERs are close quarter combat specialists, most preferring to use a sword. As for our type one SOLDIERs...well, you were right in that regard. First Class is our most elite group—they are the rare few who either far surpass their peers in their specialty, or use both skill sets effectively."

The same outspoken cadet shot his hand up in the air again, mouth open as soon as the director gave him another nod to ask his question. "Why wouldn't you want people knowing that?"

"It's simple really—it's in our best interest for our enemies to perceive our Third Classes as lesser or weak," the director explained shortly. "While our enemies focus on the  _real_ threat—the Second or First Classes—our materia specialists tend to make quick work of the field from a distance. The reality is, there is no difference in rank between Second and Third Class SOLDIERs because both skill sets are vital to the work we do. Only the First Class stands apart."

"Wait a minute!" Zack's hands hit the table as he straightened in his seat, eyes lighting up as he turned to Lazard. "Is Cloud the one who—"

"That's classified," Lazard interjected, raising a warning brow as he eyed the SOLDIER.

That wasn't enough to deflate Zack's enthusiasm though. "He was definitely conscripted—the Army doesn't let people go otherwise. We've been doing some sword training, but not enough for—"

"The details of his conscription are  _classified,_ Lieutenant."

"Was anyone else here conscripted?"

Lazard let out a short sigh, apparently knowing that Zack wouldn't let it go entirely until he had an answer. "No."

"Then he's the one…Holy shit, Spike!" Zack again fixated on Cloud, mouth hanging open just slightly. "Since when can you—"

"Zack," Cloud implored, shaking his head pitifully.

He sunk in his seat, the curious stares from his fellow cadets stinging him. It had been exciting seeing his friend here, but now…he wished he had run into Zack somewhere else, where they could talk privately. It really had been too long since they'd spent any time together—between the patrol, investigation, and court-martial he hadn't exactly had the time to call his friend...or the desire to open up about what happened.

"Fine. It doesn't matter anyway—he's gonna be in Second Class with me," Zack decided, looking determined as he nodded to Cloud. "That's what you want anyway, right Spike? You've always been into swords."

"Zack…" This time it was the director, speaking exasperatingly as he shook his head at the Second. "Their Class assignment is  _not_ a choice." He looked to the cadets once more, hardening his expression. "This next month you will all be put through a series of tests to determine whether you're more suited for close quarter combat or materia use. I'm sure some of you already have a sense of what your natural talents are, but you may be surprised what these lessons bring out of you. Your final challenge will be supervised by General Hewley and General Rhapsodos—they command the Second and Third Classes respectively. Class assignment is ultimately up to them—if they decide you aren't suited for either, you'll be dismissed from the program."

Cloud's heart jumped at those words. He would be seeing General Rhapsodos sooner than he expected…That was either exciting, terrifying, or a bit of both.

The too-eager cadet's hand shot up again, moving to the edge of his seat. "Will General Sephiroth be there as well?"

"No. General Sephiroth oversees the First Class—there's no need for him to be present."

"But what if—"

"You'll notice the empty chair among you—this boot camp was originally intended for six of you. One has already been cut from the program," Lazard explained, raising both brows meaningfully. "The training regime we have planned for you won't be easy—I expect at least two more of you will be sent home by the end of this week. Today is your  _only_ opportunity to get more information about the program before you start, so I suggest you start thinking realistically instead of asking outrageous hypotheticals. Kunsel—why don't you explain the types of positions our First Classes hold?"

"It varies. Some are stationed around Gaia, heading SOLDIER operations on location at some of our more frequented areas—Wutai and Junon, for example. Others head up our ready response teams, predominantly based out of Midgar—they get sent out around the Planet as needed," he informed them. "Then there are the generals, of course. They're based out of Midgar too. General Sephiroth oversees the entire First Class, including both Second and Third Generals Hewley and Rhapsodos—that essentially gives him control over all of SOLDIER, second only to Director Lazard. The three generals also rotate into the mission schedule, in addition to their administrative functions."

"And how many of our five cadets here are currently qualified to hold any of the positions you just listed?"

"Zero."

"How many are expected to transition into the First Class at any point in their careers?"

"Zero."

Lazard leaned forward, pushing his glasses up as they slid to the tip of his nose—all of his attention was on the outspoken cadet. "It's important for SOLDIERs to have dreams—and unattainable dreams are the best kind. Right now none of you are SOLDIERs though…surviving the next month should be your only goal right now."

"Jeez, Laz…I see why you dragged me along for this one," Zack muttered, a hand on the back of his neck as he shook his head. "You really know how to kill a mood. Everyone was excited—now look at 'em. The one in the middle looks like he's ready to run already."

"If you can't handle a simple meeting, you're free to leave now," Lazard responded, staring pointedly at the wide eyed cadet who was staring back open mouthed. "Otherwise this is your opportunity—I don't expect to see most of you again after today, so try to make this meeting productive."

"Don't let this guy scare ya," Zack insisted, clapping a hand on Lazard's back and ignoring the bemused look he got in return. "Being a SOLDIER is everything you've always hoped for, and I'm sure all of you can make it if you try hard enough. You just gotta hang in there. I mean, they let me in—and I'm Lieutenant now. That's gotta tell ya something about how things work around here."

"I'll reiterate…Zack only gets away with his behavior because he has proven himself worth the hassle."

"You're gonna make me blush, Laz," Zack said, elbowing the man this time as he smirked at the cadets.

"…You're pushing it, Lieutenant," the director told him, despite the smile he was attempting to cover with his palm.

"Yeah, yeah," Zack muttered, shifting restlessly in his seat. "Let's get to the questions so we can all get outta here!" A tentative hand to the far left rose, and Zack laughed at the gesture—his typical, friendly laugh rather than anything condescending. "Just ask. No raising hands or whatever."

The young man nodded in response, seeming hesitant still. "You were introduced as a lieutenant, and Kunsel wasn't introduced with any rank—is that because he's a Third Class?"

"No," the too-eager cadet to Cloud's left answered before either SOLDIER or the director could. He pivoted in his chair, staring at the other cadet indignantly. "Did you listen to the class explanation? Classes represent  _types_ or SOLDIERs, not ranks. There must be lieutenants in the Third Class too."

"Hey…why don't you let us handle the answers?" Zack suggested, not unkindly but definitely not in a tone Cloud was used to hearing his friend use. "Otherwise Laz coulda just let me sleep in."

That seemed to bring the cadet down to size. "I apologize, sir."

"No biggie. You were mostly right anyway—when you guys make SOLDIER, you'll all just be rankless Second or Third Classes. For most people that's it—but Gen and Ang are allowed to promote within their classes, up to five guys each to be their L-T's. Kinda like their second-in-commands or go-to guys," the Second explained, his smile growing as the cadets' stares toward him grew more impressed. Even Cloud hadn't quite realized—he knew Zack was a Second Class SOLDIER, and a good one at that…but one of only  _five_ lieutenants in his class? That was a whole different level than he'd imagined. "You gotta get that promotion to L-T if you ever wanna switch over to First though. That's the only time ranks really come into play."

"How do you switch over?" another cadet asked curiously.

"The First Class is nicknamed Silver Elite for a reason—you gotta step up your game if you wanna catch Seph's eye. And let me tell ya, that man is hard to impress…he doesn't give a shit if you can swing a sword well or make a few sparks. You gotta do something the guy to your right can't—you gotta do both or do  _more_ to be worth his time."

"You also have to demonstrate your ability as a leader," the director added. "That's why typically only those who are promoted to lieutenants are considered for First."

"Why haven't you switched over?" Cloud asked suddenly, catching himself off guard—it was easy to speak freely when he was looking directly at Zack though.

"I will eventually. For now I like where I'm at," he responded with a shrug. "Working under Angeal's the  _best_. I get first choice on all my missions, who I go with—he really lets me do my own thing these days. Plus, the only open First slot right now is some desk job in Mideel, and uh…I'm not interested."

"First Classes are in the field regularly," Kunsel amended, frowning as Zack scoffed in obvious disagreement. "What? They are—they lead most anti-terror operations and basically all special ops."

"Yeah but how often do those come up in  _Mideel?_ I bet the poor sucker there right now's been sitting on his hands for the last year and a half, sending out the Second and Thirds to do the little things while he forwards the reports to Seph.  _Boring._  I wanna be a hero—I don't have time to sit around the office"

A light bulb went off in Cloud's head, but not from what Zack said—it was Kunel's words that had caught complete his attention. "Was a First there in Sector Eight that night?" he blurted out, not even sure who he was directing the question at.

"Cadet Strife, if you intend to make it in this program, you need to get a grasp on the word  _classified_ ," the director said sharply, causing the blond to grimace in his chair. "Are there any other questions? There's a reason I have a Second and Third Class attend these meetings. I know all the functional and operational details of the program, but they have the experience in carrying out those functions."

There was a long pause, and while Cloud wanted to press the issue, he knew it was a bad idea. Another question was eating at him though, and he realized he was about to lose his chance to ask. "What if…we can use materia," Cloud began, almost losing his nerve as Zack tilted his head, an obvious flash of concern in his eyes. He had to drop his gaze to the table before continuing, forcing himself to finish the question with a long breath, "but we can also use a sword. Not well enough to be a First, but…"

"Class assignment is not a choice," Lazard repeated simply. "You're expected to be proficient in both—which you  _excel_ in will determine your class. All Third Classes still continue sword training, and Second Classes still work on their materia use. The generals have an eye for spotting talent—I trust their judgment completely when it comes to the selection process. I'll tell you now though…standard missions are typically done with teams of two—one Second Class and one Third Class SOLDIER. Our current numbers make that process difficult because the classes aren't proportionate. We're always looking for a variety of talent, but at the moment we could use a few more Thirds."

"You say that now, but Gen's kinda picky," Zack said, smirking at Cloud confidently. "Don't worry, Spike. If you don't wanna end up—"

"Remind me not to select you again for these meetings, Lieutenant," Lazard interrupted, again with a sigh. Zack just shot him a charismatic smile in return, proving with ease what Cloud already knew—it was impossible to be truly angry with Zack Fair. "Disregard his statement. Particularly you, Cadet Strife. It's very rare for someone to use materia prior to receiving enhancements, but to do so without the knowledge provided by this program…it's almost unheard of, frankly."

"Third Class isn't anything to be upset about," Kunsel chimed in, sitting a bit taller in his seat. He seemed to have noticed the way Cloud was slumped, and directed his words carefully. "We get a lotta crap because it's just assumed Third is the lowest rank, but between Second and Third, it's like the director said—we're equals. We're just as vital to the mission, if not more so—we can heal our comrades, create big distractions, provide cover fire, and it's just as typical for us to jump into the fight with a sword too. And  _our_ general might be a bit picky, but he's second only to Sephiroth in terms of—"

"Hey!" Zack exclaimed, exaggerated offense in his tone as he leaned forward so he could look past the director and at Kunsel. "Angeal could give Gen a run for his money—he just doesn't give a shit about being called second best or third best, so he lets Gen have it."

"Technically General Rhapsodos is on the books as being second only to Sephiroth," the Third countered, smiling at Zack's playful eye roll. "All three are legendary though, enough that the entire class system was modeled after them. Even the other First Classes don't come close."

"We're getting off subject again…though I suppose we're just about done here," Lazard noted, rising promptly to his feet. He placed a hand down on the table, scanning the cadets individually. "Are there any more questions? Remember, this is your last opportunity for information—after today, your official boot camp begins. You won't have this chance again unless you succeed and make the program."

"We didn't talk about the kind of missions SOLDIERs do…the actual work," one cadet mentioned slowly.

"No, and unfortunately that information won't be discussed with non-SOLDIER personnel. At most, I can tell you the types of operations we perform are vital to ensure the safety of the citizens of Gaia. We complete a variety of duties, ranging from anti-terrorist operations to search and rescue mission all over the Planet. Specific details depend on the individual mission parameters, which you will not receive unless you are a SOLDIER, of course," he explained, placing his other hand down on the table as well. "If there's nothing else, you're dismissed for the day. Kunsel will provide you each with a folder for your individual assignments for the next few weeks."

Kunsel jumped up upon hearing that, picking up a stack of folders that had been in front of him throughout the meeting. "Hix," he began, handing the first folder to the eager cadet who had been on Cloud's left. The rest of the cadets stood up too, ready for Kunsel to call their names. "Denton. Phelps. Blake. Uh…One second, Strife, I had your folder—"

"Looks like you dropped it, Kuns," Zack said, bending down to pick it up off the floor. He gave Cloud a wink as he handed it to the blond. "See ya around, Spike."

"Yeah," Cloud responded, trying not to let his face heat up again as he felt several pairs of eyes on him again.

"Strife, if you could stay a moment," Lazard requested, eyeing only him as the rest of the cadets shuffled out of the room. "You two are dismissed as well."

Zack and Kunsel both gave a nod of acknowledgement, the Second patting Cloud on the back one more time before headed happily toward the doorway alongside his helmeted friend. Once the door shut, all of the safety Zack had provided felt lost and his stomach began to twist anxiously once more. The director seemed to sense it at least, and put on that same reassuring smile he'd attempted when he bumped into Cloud in the hallway—it hardly helped this time.

"I'm sure you're aware the circumstances of your recruitment are unique—we only succeed in conscripting maybe two of our recruits per year," the director revealed, shaking his head dismally. "I wasn't aware you were already familiar with any SOLDIERs though. I know you just had a briefing with my assistant yesterday, but I'd like to remind you personally that you're not free to discuss what happened in Sector Eight with  _anyone._ That applies not only to Zack, but the other cadets as well—I'm sure they'll have questions now that they're aware you were conscripted."

Cloud tried not to frown, remembering that part of his  _briefing_ yesterday all too well. What the director had just reminded him of had essentially been all he was told on the subject of his squad before the paperwork process had begun—what happened that night was classified, and it needed to stay that way if he intended to stay in SOLDIER. The only good thing to come out of it was the guarantee that he and his squad wouldn't be taking the blame for the  _incident_ , but that wasn't very comforting.

All the other details he needed—the missing bits of information he had yet to piece together—no one intended to tell him. Why had there been an attack in the first place? Why was SOLDIER involved? He remembered  _what_ happened too vividly, but he was beginning to feel like that was only half the story. Thankfully Kunsel had offered to poke around for him, but he didn't want to depend on other people—if he was sticking around to fulfill his old dream, he intended to do some digging of his own along the way.

"It won't be a problem, sir."

"Should you feel the need to  _talk_ with anyone, I can arrange that for you. Feel free to contact General Rhapsodos otherwise—the other generals are aware of the situation as well, but I believe he will be the best source of information for you, should you need it. He can be…difficult to speak with at times. But he did go out of his way to make sure you ended up in this program, so I'm confident he'll make himself available should you need it."

"Thank you, sir," he responded politely, despite the fact he sincerely doubted what he'd just been told.

"I truly hope you prove to be worth all the trouble…If I have to endure one more meeting with the Director of the Army and the Joint Chief of Operations over this ordeal…well, I trust it won't come to that."

"…Sir?" Cloud asked, unsure what that even meant.

"The terms of your conscription—if you fail to make SOLDIER, I have to arrange to send you back to the Army. I assumed the General Rhapsodos told you that much?"

"Oh. Yes, actually. He did say something about that…" About sending him back to Colonel Tibbs to  _get that dishonorable discharge_. His cringed at the thought of the colonel's irritable face. "I'll try my best, sir. I…can't go back there."

"No, I suppose it would be best for everyone if you stayed here. Good luck, then," Lazard said, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. "Just remember what we discussed—I know Zack can be persistent, but he's not authorized to know what happened that night."

"Understood."

Lazard moved toward the door, holding it open for Cloud as he gestured for the cadet to exit. "You're free to go."

Cloud gave a nod, stepping out in a hurry and nearly tripping in the process. Thankfully no one was waiting for him outside the door—he'd half expected to be pounced on by his friend at the very least. When he snuck a peek into his training folder though, he saw Zack's familiar scrawl on the top of his itinerary and understood.

_Didn't wanna draw more attention to you. I'm free all day—swing by my room around lunchtime? :)_

Of course he drew a ridiculous smiley face as well…Zack friggin' Fair was one of a kind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, early update as promised! Thanks so much for the support so far, y'all are incredibly motivating ~ I'll be back with more Thursday.

* * *

"Spiiiiiiike!"

Cloud flailed, wiggling around helplessly before trying to wedge his own hands in between Zack's arm and his neck—a headlock from Zack was basically impossible to finagle his way out from though. The more he struggled, the more Zack laughed, easily maintaining his hold—his arm muscles were as prominent as always but not even tensed with effort.

"You're such a sore loser!" Cloud groaned, ceasing all attempts at breaking free. Once he was completely slack, Zack let him go finally, giving Cloud a short window to retaliate—a swift elbow to the side. "Don't challenge me to chocobo racing if you don't wanna lose!"

"Hey! It's not even fair…you always call dibs on the green one, and  _everyone_ knows the green one has a speed boost," Zack argued, waving his hands animatedly while still clutching his game controller in one hand. "You're supposed to pick the blue one, and—"

"You use the  _gold chocobo!_ It has bonus stats for speed, stamina,  _and_ it can throw out eggs," Cloud told him, jabbing a finger into his friend's chest. "You're just making excuses. And you know what? Too bad…I'm not gonna let you win."

"I'm not askin' you to let me win, I'm just askin' you to play fair, Spike," the Second pouted, tossing his controller onto the coffee table. Cloud had already dropped his to the floor during the headlock, and made no move to retrieve it as an arm was slung around his shoulder—gently this time, pulling him in close. He relaxed there, letting some of the worries he was hiding drift away as he sunk into his friend's shoulder. "You always distract me when I pull ahead, and then sneak around for the win."

"Distract  _you_?" Cloud repeated incredulously. "How many times have you kicked off your shoes mid-race hoping the smell would throw me off?"

"That only worked once, bud, so I don't think that counts," Zack insisted, smirking down with amusement as Cloud glared up at him. "Just wait till your enhancements! Then you'll really be complaining."

"You're so gross."

"Hey! My feet don't really stink!" Zack insisted, his arm squeezing around Cloud just a bit more firmly—his eyes were glinted playfully. "Take it back before I pull you in for another headlock!"

Not that he gave Cloud  _time_ to take it back. "Zack," the blond grumbled, pushing awkwardly against his friend—it wasn't the ideal position for fighting back or squirming loose. Luckily it was short lived, Zack relenting as the laughter overtook them both.

"Okay!" Cloud exclaimed once they had sufficiently calmed back down. He punched Zack lightly in the arm before letting himself smile again. "They don't really stink. I just think it's a weird coincidence you always kick your shoes off mid-race instead of before we start."

"It's part of the routine! I've gotta stick to the traditions—it helps me stay in the zone, you know?"

"The losing zone?" Cloud retorted, oddly proud of his lame comeback.

He was already sliding away from his friend, prepared for some kind of physical reaction to his words...Whatever retaliation he was expecting never came though. Zack just took a good, long look at him. "You know…I love messing around with you, but this isn't really why I asked you to swing by."

"You're just saying that because you keep losing—if you were winning, you'd be rubbing it in my face and demanding another round…"

"Maybe," he admitted, chuckling as he ran a hand through his hair. "But either way we'd be talkin' at the end of it—why not get to it now?"

Cloud shrugged noncommittally. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Uh, how about the time you turned up at headquarters in a cadet uniform?" he suggested, not bothering to beat around the bush. Zack never did, but Cloud had sincerely hoped this time might be an exception. "Last time I saw you, you were—"

"Zack, I can't talk about it," Cloud said, his own words making him uncomfortable. He'd known Zack for more than two years now—since he first tried to get into SOLDIER and failed. The only good thing that came out of the experience was that he had somehow managed to impress  _Zack_ , and they had been good friends ever since. Best friends, really—he could hardly even compare his friendship with Zack to his relationship with any of his few infantry buddies. "It's classified, and I don't wanna get in trouble already."

"Cloud…I'm not just some dude. I'm a SOLDIER, and I work directly under Angeal," Zack reminded him, scooting down the couch to where Cloud had retreated and slinging an arm around him again. He rubbed the blond's arm reassuringly, giving Cloud the time he needed to think it over. "I already know most of what happened, just not the specifics—there was some kind of attack down in Sector Eight, followed up by a big fire. Rumor is, the cast had to be at least level two, and the structures down there were in shambles anyway—and dry. It would have kept on spreading, but the Third on the response team put it out. Who needs a fire squad when you have materia users nearby, eh?"

"I guess."

Zack's smirk finally faltered, and he stared down seriously. "The question is, who started the fire? SOLDIERs know better than to go around throwing fireballs in areas like that. But a civilian…or infantryman, caught up in the attack and fighting for his life…ringing any bells, Spike?"

"Zack…I can't talk about it," he tried again, knowing it was a bad excuse.

His resolve was already dwindling, and he was sure Zack could see it in his face by now. Yeah he'd signed a nondisclosure agreement, but that wasn't what was holding him back. It would take a lot more than a few forms and a few executives to dissuade him from wanting to open up to  _Zack_  about almost anything. This though…

"That's bullshit, and you know it. You  _want_ to talk about it, but you're scared. And you don't need to be—it's just me."

"It's not… _that_. I just…" He shook his head silently, at a loss for what to say next.

"It's okay. Take your time."

"They…my squad, we…there was an attack. I still don't know much about it, and it sounds like no one plans to tell me—I had this briefing yesterday, but all they would say was that it's classified. I thought it was terrorists when it was happening, but I don't even know anymore…Why would they bother attacking some rundown area in the outskirts of Sector Eight? Unless they were targeting patrols?"

"…I dunno for sure, but I doubt your squad was the target. Sounds like you got caught in the middle of something else."

Cloud straightened up, pulling back from Zack and shifting on the couch so he could meet his friend's gaze head on. "In the middle of  _what_?"

"I'd tell you if I knew, but that entire incident is classified, above even me—I just heard a little about it, and then when I saw you…I knew there was a survivor from the infantry patrol, and that person was supposed to have been the one who…" Zack paused, a thoughtful look on his face as he studied his friend's blank face. "Is it true, Cloud? You started that fire?"

His eyes dropped to his lap as he gripped at the couch cushion with all his pent up frustration. "I think so."

"Think so? What's that mean?"

"I mean…one of my squad mates, Edmunds," Cloud explained, choking on his fallen comrade's name. Zack's hand on his shoulder helped anchor those rising emotions, keeping him focused on the present instead of allowing him to free fall into the memories of that night. "Remember how I told you he bought that materia a while back?"

"The guy who saved up for months, then couldn't figure out how to use it?"

Cloud laughed under his breath, recalling how much crap his squad had given Edmunds over making such a silly purchase. Those were the kinds of things he preferred to remember—the miscellaneous moments and conversations he'd shared with his squad. Some filled with laughter, others with annoyance. They were all fond memories now, of men he would never forget.

He snapped out of his brief daze, realizing Zack was still eyeing him with an unusual amount of patience—a small, reassuring smile was on his face too, and Cloud returned it weakly before trying to continue with his story.

"He still hadn't figure it out, but he always carried it around…he called it his good luck charm. He swore it would be the key to getting him out of the Army and into SOLDIER."

The irony of those words…that Edmunds'  _good luck_ charm had been the death of him. Cloud hung his head, ashamed to think about what that same materia had become for  _him_.

"Hey. We don't have to keep going if you aren't ready to say more," Zack assured him softly. "I know it's hard, especially when it's all still fresh."

"It's fine," Cloud muttered, a deep breath pushing his rising emotions back down in his chest.

The truth was, he wanted to stop. There was a lump in his throat, and it felt like it was only a matter of time before he broke down again. But…his squad deserved better than that. Someone besides him should hear about what actually happened—how  _he_ survived when they all fell. And it felt…almost therapeutic, speaking about it under these circumstances. Knowing there was no pressure. It wasn't like the hearing, where his words were being scrutinized and twisted—where no one actually cared what he had to say.

This was Zack.

"If I can't tell you, then I'll never be able to tell anyone," Cloud asserted, inhaling another long breath and letting it out slowly. He could get through this. "Edmunds was an okay guy…but maybe not the brightest. The pockets on infantry uniforms aren't great, and that damn materia was always falling out on him—he'd reach for it every time, whether a car was coming or…"

"Or he was under heavy fire," Zack concluded, frowning at that. "They don't break those habits during training for you guys?"

"…No. They don't teach us much of anything because they don't expect us to be in situations like that. Only the deployable units get specialized training, and SOLDIER is supposed to handle everything else—the rest of us are grunts. Just  _there_ to shows ShinRa's presence," he said, guessing Zack already knew that much despite the fact his friend had never once treated him like the worthless grunt he'd been. He was sure he sounded more than a little bitter about the whole thing, but something about the way his friend was rubbing his arm made him feel like maybe it was okay to feel that way. "Edmunds didn't have the most common sense, but he…he had big dreams, you know?"

Zack offered one of his signature smiles as Cloud looked up at him finally. "Yeah. Sounds like someone I'd get along with."

Cloud nodded at that, bemused by the idea of it. Enough people already joked about Zack's intelligence because he was such a carefree, happy dude…with a guy like Edmunds as a friend, Cloud could only imagine what else would be said.

Not that he'd ever have the chance to find out.

His heart plummeted as reality sunk back in. "I think he knew it was a bad reflex when it happened…I'd never seen his eyes like that. It was like they were lit up with this…awful realization. He kicked it over toward me before he hit the ground, but…I couldn't even pick it up. There was no time—I was still crouching there under cover, and I just…had to keep  _trying_. Keep  _shooting_ …"

"You don't have to tell me more if you're not ready," Zack repeated, a bit more firmly this time. Cloud hadn't even realized it, but he was shaking…the same way he had been shaking that night, his aim strained from the involuntary movement. Even Zack's steady hands were doing nothing to help him now, but he managed to bite back most of his emotions at least—he'd cried enough over his comrades, privately. The least he could do for them was get through this without surrendering to his own weakness again. "I shouldn't have pressed you about it."

"It's fine," Cloud insisted again, this time with more determination than before. "I haven't figured it all out yet, so maybe talking about it will help…My other two squad mates, Sully and Higgins, they were together. Sully got hit when he was taking a shot…that was when Higgins finally snapped out of it. He choked up when the whole thing started, but seeing Sully next to him like that…it didn't matter though, it was too late. They were closing in on us already…he didn't have a chance."

He hung his head again, remembering too vividly watching the last of his comrades die right in front of him—how useless he'd been as it happened. How resigned he'd felt in that moment. That was a difficult feeling to vocalize, and one he hoped to never experience again.

"I was next…My rifle was out of rounds, and there was no getting out of there. That was when I saw it again—the materia. I don't even know why I grabbed it…I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I just remember being so frustrated with everything…The next thing I know, two guys rounding my cover get blasted back in some kind of blaze, and then…"

He shuddered, the flawless flames flickering behind his closed eyelids. It was too much—the heat of the fire…their screams in the air. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he buried his face in his hands. All he could do was shake his head as he tried desperately to pull himself back together.

"You did it again," Zack finished, filling in the final blank—the end of the story.

Cloud heard him, but tried to focus a minute on the small, soothing circles being rubbed into his back instead. When he was sure he'd fended off the tears prickling his eyes he nodded, though he didn't dare lift his head out of his hands yet. "…I think so. I stood up with the damn thing in my hand still, and…that's all I remember. I woke up in the infirmary the next day."

"It musta taken a lot out of you…materia's pretty easy for SOLDIERs to use because it's just condensed mako. You though…it's crazy you were able to do that. Your natural mana levels must be pretty high."

Cloud tilted his head toward Zack, finally peeking out from behind his hands. "Mana level?"

"Eh, it's just a buncha technical crap. I'm pretty good with materia, but probably not the best person to go over all that with you…You'll get all the lectures on it during your training though, and it'll make more sense. And who knows—maybe it'll make sense of what happened to you," Zack said, sounding a bit hopeful. "But hey…let's forget about that right now. I wanna talk about  _you_."

Cloud resisted the urge to hide in his hands again, instead forcing himself to sit back up and hold his friend's gaze evenly. "Oh?"

"Yeah. That musta been the first time you lost anyone—how're you holdin' up?  _Really?_ I don't want any of your classic one word answers either."

"Will you settle on three words?" he offered, only half joking.

"No. I want a full sentence—at  _least_ five words."

"I'm fine," Cloud responded, forcing a very small smile. "Really. I am."

Zack narrowed his eyes, though they were lit up with mild amusement. "Did you just add repetitive words to hit my word quota?"

"Yeah."

The SOLDIER chuckled softly, but stopped a moment later when Cloud hadn't joined him. "Look, I get it—it's not something any of us wants to talk about. But you said it yourself…if you can't talk to me about this, who  _can_ you talk to?"

"The Army paired me with a mandatory trauma counselor while they were investigating what happened."

"Yeah, and let me guess. You didn't wanna open up, so they prodded you for an hour and got two words outta you before time was up?"

Cloud shook his head, but it wasn't in disagreement—it was just one of those rare times that he wished Zack didn't know him so well. "I don't want this to be about me…they're the ones who deserve to be talked about. They had  _families…_ Timmons was talking about having kids with his wife, and Higgins…he was getting married next fall."

"Spike—"

"I didn't even like half of them," Cloud admitted quietly, the words twisting his heart painfully.

It felt wrong to say—to remember that he and his squad hadn't actually had a perfect relationship. That he and Timmons butted heads on more than one occasion, and that Sully's brown-nosing had been aggravating on most days. But it was true, and no matter how many times he looked back and reflected, that truth never changed.

Even the other two…he hadn't exactly been good friends with them either. They'd never spent time together outside of work even once. And that was his own fault. How many invitations to eat together in the chow hall had he declined? From day one he'd chosen to keep to himself rather than  _really_ putting in any effort with his squad. Now it was too late.

"It's not like you  _let_ them die—you weren't even in charge."

"Yes, I was. Timmons was until..." He tried to shake the images from his mind, but it didn't matter how many times he shook his head. "And then Higgins choked up…Maybe it wasn't supposed to be me, but it was, and they died."

"Hold up, Spike. You can't seriously blame yourself for—"

"Yes, I can. I'm  _alive_ , Zack. And on top of all that, I'm getting reward for it," he insisted, echoing Colonel Tibbs' sentiment from the hearing. The guilt had already accumulated, and now it was just  _there_ , festering in his gut. "I don't deserve to be a SOLDIER."

"Stop it."

Cloud blinked, his face going blank as he looked at Zack's hard expression. He was sure he'd never seen his friend so serious, and he was sure he didn't like it. Zack was someone who looked best with a goofy smile on his face and a bad joke on the tip of his tongue…His eyes were glowing brighter than ever, demanding Cloud's full attention.

"Being a SOLDIER—hell, being in the  _Army_ —we kill people and we lose people. It'll probably happen again, and you know what? I'm not gonna sit here and tell you it gets easier every time because it  _doesn't._ The best I can say is I hope it never happens like  _that_  again, because it sounds like you went through something pretty awful…But we still have to keep going, don't we?" Zack paused, but the intensity in his voice had rendered Cloud completely speechless. "You know why we do that, even knowing things might go bad?"

Another pause, but this time it looked like Zack was actually expecting an answer. He'd already decided he needed to keep going, and he had a handful of reasons why—but he wanted to hear whatever Zack was about to say, so he shook his head slowly.

"Because we're not fighting for that shit ShinRa tries to force feed us—we're fighting for something we decide to believe in for ourselves. You and me  _and_ your squad mates—we all have that in common. It may be something different for each of us, but it's just as important. So maybe they weren't your best friends…that's okay. Doesn't mean you didn't share anything special with them. And it  _definitely_ doesn't mean you wanted them to die or let it happen. I know you, and I've got no doubt you did everything you could that night. And then you did something you didn't even know you  _could_ …And, yeah, you lost a few men. But you took out seven hostiles with that fire, Spike. Plus who knows how many more before you had that materia."

Part of him knew Zack had a point—he  _had_ tried his best, even if it hadn't been enough. And of course he hadn't wanted anyone to die...but knowing that gave him no solace. No matter what he tried telling himself, or what Zack told him, it didn't do a thing to settle the ache in his heart or the regret in his stomach.

And that wasn't even the only thing plaguing his mind. "…How many civilians died in the fire?"

"None."

Cloud's heart jumped, but his mind was still stuck in a state of disbelief. "Bullshit."

"I wouldn't lie to you. Those buildings had been emptied out the week before because that area was next on the list for reconstruction. I'm not sure if that part's classified or not, so maybe don't go around telling anyone I said that."

"I won't," Cloud promised, not really having anyone  _to_ tell anyway. A small piece of the burden was lifted as he took in Zack's words, but he couldn't be too relieved. It didn't make sense—even the parts he hadn't seen…he couldn't forget what he'd heard. "There was so much yelling after the first landmine went off…there  _had_ to be civilians in the area."

"There were some people squatting in the area, but they mostly got out in time—well before the fire," Zack said confidently. When he saw Cloud was still skeptical, he added, "It sounds like they heard the first landmine blow and ran off—the only civilian casualties came when someone hit the second one on the way out, and that's not on you."

He grimaced—as much as he wanted the civilian deaths off his own conscience, the thought of anyone else tripping a landmine wasn't particularly comforting. "How do you know for sure?"

"Same reason I knew about any of this before we started talking. I've got a buddy in the Turks—she couldn't tell me everything, but I believe the parts she did. She woulda just left out the stuff she couldn't tell me the truth about."

He rubbed his face again, this time allowing some of the relief sink in. "…I'd never killed anyone before that night. I can live with taking out those terrorists—they killed my squad and they would've killed me…but I was so sure those buildings…that I did something awful."

"Hey. You're a pretty impressive dude, Spike. My first kill, I was out of it for like a week—totally guilt tripped myself, even though the guy was comin' at me with a machete. Now it's just…not  _normal_ , but I know how to handle it. I gotta admit, I prefer fighting crazy monsters over crazy people."

"I'd probably feel worse about it if they hadn't…"

Another unfinished sentence followed by a deep sigh. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, futilely trying to blink away some of the images flashing through his mind.

"Hey, do you wanna do more racing? 'Cause, you owe me a re-match, clearly," Zack told him, whacking his knee just hard enough to snap him out of the trance he'd fallen into.

He swallowed thickly, grateful that Zack always seemed to know when to change the subject, but not really in the right state of mind to goof around yet either. His effort was halfhearted, mostly in an attempt not to be a complete downer. "I'd rather not whoop your ass and end up in another headlock…at least not until after you shower. Your armpit—"

"What is it with you and the smelly jokes? I smell  _great!_ I was only at the gym for like an hour before you got here. And, uh, hate to break it to you, but you're gonna be smelling pretty nasty for the next few weeks—did you look through that folder?"

Cloud nodded his head again, though he'd only briefly glanced at its contents. He'd been too lost in thought to focus on it all too much after the introductory meeting. "Yeah. It's a pretty packed schedule—physical training, materia theory, sword training, tactics class…something about virtual training?"

"Yeah, they'll put you in the VR, get you some mock mission practice," Zack explained, rolling his eyes. "It's not as exciting as it sounds. They probably won't sick Sephiroth on you."

"… _What?"_

"Not the real one, there's a training mod. You'll see eventually—maybe they will this time."

That made Cloud a little nervous, but the feeling was actually welcome this time—he was sure he'd spend at least the next few hours feeling nothing but guilt, regret, and bitterness. They were emotions he had been struggling with since it happened…and he was sure he'd carry them around with him for a long while yet, no matter how busy he stayed or how hard he tried to move forward.

Having a support system though—a friend to talk it all out with—it made him feel like maybe he didn't have to carry that burden entirely on his own. There was no way Zack would let him buckle under the weight of it all, and for some reason knowing that bolstered his resolve to stay strong.

"The schedule was only for three weeks…but Director Lazard said it was a month long process," Cloud remembered vaguely.

Zack nodded, another grin appearing on his face. "The final week you spend in the field on a mock mission. Technically you're being followed and you're supposed to think it's a real mission, but…oops," he said, shrugging at the 'accidental' reveal of information. "I dunno what it'll be, but they're usually a joke. Not like a real SOLDIER mission since you're not enhanced, but…well, you'll see soon enough. I already talked to Angeal, he's gonna let me come along—not that you'll need help, but I'm excited to see my cute little Spike in action!"

Cloud punched his shoulder lightly, eyes narrowing. "I'm not your  _cute little Spike_."

"Aww, c'mon. You didn't mind that when we were dating," Zack teased, stifling his laughter as Cloud's face grew red.

"We never dated!" Cloud exclaimed adamantly, the idea of it outrageous.

"You always say that, but I seem to remember taking you out to dinner when we'd just met."

"I thought it was a sympathy dinner!"

"Yeah, 'cause I bring all the dudes who don't make it out on 'sorry you didn't make it into SOLDIER' dinners…If that was the case, I'd never see a paycheck!"

"You should have specified."

"I thought 'wanna grab a bite to eat?' was pretty clear…but hey, from now on, I'll just start walkin' up to people and being  _really_ clear—I'll just flat out say it, how about  _one_ date?" He wagged a finger in the air as he spoke, pleased with Cloud's slight laughter. "Seriously though, even if I'd been that clear, you woulda said yes. That makes it a date."

Cloud couldn't say whether or not that was true now, but he didn't see how it mattered anyway. After all this time, it was  _impossible_ to look at Zack and see anything other than the amazing friend he'd become. The thought alone was comical.

"We're better off friends anyway."

"I know that! I'm just saying…we went on that date and then at least three follow up ones. Don't act like you're ashamed, it's hurting my ego."

"I don't think anything could hurt your ego…except maybe losing to me  _again_ ," Cloud challenged, scooping his controller back up from the carpet. "I'll even play the blue one this time."

"You're on—but if  _I_ win, you hang out long enough for me to buy you dinner tonight," Zack added, smirking as Cloud arched an eyebrow. "Not a date."

"Not a date," Cloud agreed wholeheartedly, flashing a real smile in return.

Zack snatched his own controller eagerly, but hit the pause button as soon as they restarted the game. "Hey, can I ask you one more thing?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you see yourself being a materia user or do you think you'd wanna be in Second Class with me?"

"I still don't even know how to use materia," Cloud answered slowly, "but I'm not exactly good enough with a sword yet either."

"You've been making tons of progress," his friend replied enthusiastically, though he didn't disagree with Cloud's assessment. "I bet you'll make tons more these next few weeks—with materia too. It'll be nonstop training instead of just an hour or two one night a week with me."

"It's not like class assignment is a choice," Cloud reminded him, Lazard's repetitive words replaying in his mind.

"Yeah, I was just thinking…it'd be easier if you were in the same class as me—just because it's all equal with Seconds and Thirds doesn't mean there's no rivalries, ya know? I'm sure you'll get some crap for hanging out with me if you make Third. They kinda look at Seconds like…you went to school before you left Nibelheim, right?"

"Um. For a while, yeah. I never finished."

"Hey, it's cool—I'm just trying to come up with an example. Did you have the kids who were good at sports?" Cloud nodded in affirmation. "And then you had the kids who were really book smart?" Another nod. "That's like the Seconds and Thirds—you'd think the most elite organization on Gaia might be exempt from stereotypes like that, but we're all a buncha kids at heart I guess. If you're good at one thing, it's easy for that to become your identity here, ya know?"

"Yeah."

"I try to get along with everyone anyway, and I'm an L-T now, so I can't get too caught up with it. I've just got this feeling…if you were conscripted, it was because you used that materia. They must be aiming to get you in Third."

A tremor ran down his spine as he remembered too clearly the words General Rhapsodos had spoken to him on this subject.  _"Remember who I am, and that I'm the one who had you conscripted, and think about what that means."_

It was obvious what that meant now. "You're right. But I don't think General Rhapsodos will want me still if I can't repeat what happened that night…"

"Did you meet him already?"

"He showed up at my court-martial and—"

" _Court-martial?_ "

"Um…yeah. A lot happened since we last talked," he muttered, a hand on the back of his neck as he looked at his friend apologetically. "What happened that night didn't look too good—the Army was looking to save face by blaming me. They were saying I deserted my squad, and things would've gone differently if I'd stuck around. They would've discharged me, but then he just showed up and—"

"Genesis?" Zack clarified, brows quirked up in surprise when Cloud confirmed it. "He showed up  _personally?"_

"Was he not supposed to?"

"Uh, he doesn't give a shit _what_ he's supposedto do. He just does his own thing, and that kinda thing…no offense, but it sounds beneath him. He's got crazy standards for who and what he deems worthy of his time," Zack explained carefully, chuckling at some unspoken thought. "That's so weird."

Cloud shifted where he sat, unsure how to feel about that—he definitely wasn't offended by Zack's words, but it  _did_  make him more curious about the general's involvement in all this. "He said he had history with the colonel at my hearing—that he wanted to piss him off."

Zack tilted his head as he considered it. "Yeah, that might explain it."

"What's it matter?" Cloud pressed quietly, still trying to work it out for himself. "Would it have meant something else otherwise?"

"I dunno," the SOLDIER replied with a shrug. "It just woulda been weird, Spike. He's actually a good friend—one of the best guys I know.  _Getting_ to know him's the tricky part though."

"That's kinda contradictory," he noted, though somehow Zack's words made perfect sense to him.

From the brief time he'd spent with the general, it was clear the man could be somewhat irritating. A bit manipulative and slightly dramatic. But even through all that it was obvious there was more to it. A reason for every bizarre move he made…There was so much more going on behind every intense glance than he'd revealed, and Cloud was sure of it.

"Why's your face all red?"

Cloud's eyes went wide, and he immediately looked away from Zack and back at the TV screen. "Stop stalling—I'm ready to kick your ass again!"

"Bring it, Spike!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support, I can't say it enough - I really appreciate it! I'll be back to my regular updating schedule next week, so hopefully see y'all Thursday!

 

* * *

The term 'boot camp' held an entirely new meaning to Cloud after his first day of training, but he'd quickly decided that was a good thing. By the time he was preparing for his 14th day—his sixth jam packed 12 hour day in a row—he was actually a little sad that there was only a week left.

That was a far cry from the joy he'd felt upon reaching his final week of boot camp in the Army, but then again, he actually felt like he wasn't wasting time here. He was even starting to see some of the results of his hard, bit by bit. Every aching muscle felt like a success, and having actual SOLDIERs monitoring all his courses and exercises was doing wonders for his motivation. The way they were able to perform all the tasks they were explaining with such ease...Cloud wanted to be like that someday.

Best of all, there had been no obstacle course—no running through double tires, no crawling in the mud underneath a low net, no climbing up a rope to get to the top of a flimsy wooden structure…no drill sergeant screaming in his ear every step of the way. When Cloud had felt brave enough to ask one of his SOLDIER supervisors if that would be a part of the routine at some point, he'd literally been laughed at.

_Boot camp_  was the unofficial name of the SOLDIER Entry Program, he learned, and that was why the two 'boot camps' were so drastically different. Clearly whoever had thought up the nickname had never been through a  _real_ boot camp, but Cloud had kept that thought to himself during that particular explanation. It wasn't like he was complaining—he was gladto be getting some actual training.

It didn't hurt that the stark differences between what he was currently doing and what he had done in the past made it easier to stay distracted from his memories.

Each morning started the same way, and it was something he knew how to handle well. Physical training. It was the only part of the two programs that held any overlap, simply because the basic gist of physical training was universal. Cadets were expected to be ready to run at 0600 hours sharp, which meant showing up at least fifteen minutes prior to stretch out. After eight timed laps, they ran a single cool down lap before switching over to weight training. Most of the lifting machines were better quality than he was used to working with, and it was actually making a big difference—he'd been struggling to put on muscle since joining the Army, despite his best efforts. There were even a variety of free weights available, and he'd been making use of those too.

At least three of the other cadets were burnt out, whining about the long back to back days, but Cloud was loving every minute of it. Unfortunately, so was the still-too-eager cadet, and Cadet Hix wasn't exactly the most popular among the five cadets.

"They have to push us to our limits before we're enhanced to see if we're worth anything," Hix explained, only after boasting that  _his_ weight lifting limit was a good fifty pounds more than the next closest cadet—Cloud was on the lower end of the group in that regard, but that didn't deter him in the slightest. "Everyone's strong after enhancements, but if you're strong before they know you're worth the effort."

The words made Cloud tense where he stood, striking a wounded nerve inside his heart.  _"If I can use this now, they'll know I'm worth the time..."_ Edmunds' voice rang out loudly in his mind, the words spoken much more whimsically than Hix's had been. The damage was done though, regardless of how different their tones were. He took off for an extra cool down lap, thankful that he was already done with his leg and arm workout for the morning.

He just needed a minute to himself.

It had been happening at one point or another almost every day, no matter how busy his training schedule was. The four men he was training with weren't particularly similar to the four men he had served with in the Army—they had different voices, different mannerisms, different backgrounds…but even the most minute similarity was a devastating reminder at times. The fact a good portion of their training was done together, in a five man group...that alone stirred a more than a few memories—he tried to isolate himself as often as he could, but it was impossible not to notice when one was a bit too pompous, or another was a bit too afraid...Even a simple joke about his hair that he'd heard dozens of times from dozens of people always reminded him of the  _one_  time someone on his squad had said it.

"Who you tryin' to impress, Strife? Laps are done at the beginning of PT," Cadet Phelps called out loudly, disgruntled when Hix took off to run a lap as well. "Kiss asses…"

"Well, I'm certainly impressed."

"No one asked you," Phelps shot back, turning to where Cadet Denton had been standing.

Denton had already taken off for a lap of his own though, and in his place was a tall SOLDIER in a long red coat…Sharp eyes pierced Phelps, and he wordlessly took off for a few extra laps of his own—they had a good thirty minutes before they were supposed to be out of their physical training gear, in the showers, into their cadet uniform, and to their first lesson for the day.

Cloud had planned to push one last lap before hitting the showers, but he hadn't failed to notice General Rhapsodos' entrance the way the other cadets had. He was used to the general turning up now, even if his presence was always somewhat startling—for various reasons it seemed he was constantly poking in to check on the cadets' training.

Usually he was with General Hewley though, and usually it wasn't first thing in the morning. While neither general supervised any of their training directly, both had been introduced to the cadets on their first day...and the group had been warned that the generals would be popping up periodically to watch certain portions of their training. So far those portions had almost always been sword combat or VR 'missions'—never physical training.

There was definitely something different about this particular visit, Cloud decided...He stopped short of a full lap, rounding the track slowly before coming to a complete halt in front of the SOLDIER.

"General Rhapsodos," he said, the name almost a question as he looked up at the man curiously.

"What, no salute?" His eyes went wide as he fell into an automatic salute, only for the general to smirk at him. "You are aware we don't salute in SOLDIER, aren't you? I assumed they taught you  _something_ these last two weeks."

Cloud lowered his hand quickly, frowning at the way this man could still make him jump. He  _did_ know they didn't salute, and hadn't even considered doing so since his first day. After two years of having that habit drilled into him though, it was difficult to refrain from falling into one when a superior officer commented on it. Clearly General Rhapsodos knew it too…judging by the gleam in his eyes, it was his idea of a joke.

"Sorry, sir. I…forgot," Cloud muttered, feeling the blush creeping across his face as he fought not to look down in embarrassment.

The general merely folded his arms across his chest, his stare growing expectant. That was when Cloud realized…there were at least three good reasons for this man to appear in the gym, and none of them had anything to do with him. While General Hewley tended to speak with each of the cadets on the days he turned up, General Rhapsodos made all of his observations from a distance—even Cloud hadn't uttered more than a polite greeting to the man since the day they'd met, and all he'd ever gotten in response was a silent nod of acknowledgment.

Suddenly he felt incredibly awkward for approaching this man so instinctively, but he tried his best not to provide the general with any further amusement. "Am I…in the way, sir?"

"Actually, I came to fetch you. I'm pulling you from your materia lesson and giving you a private session today," he explained smoothly, watching carefully as the words stunned the cadet. "I'll wait here for exactly ten minutes—you go shower. As adorable as your workout shorts are, I have no interest in allowing a sweaty cadet into my personal office."

"Personal office?"

"Nine minutes."

Cloud opened his mouth to speak again, but opted to hustle toward the showers instead. He had a sneaky suspicion that the SOLDIER was entirely serious about his time limit. The water wasn't even warm when he stepped in, but thankfully no one else was around—the gym showers were public, which wasn't ideal. His eyes were locked on the clock the whole time, only closing for a minute as he rinsed his shampoo from his hair—he quickly shoved his shower supplies back into the locker he'd been assigned for the month, leaving his workout clothes behind as well. He made a mental note to retrieve them later as he took out his uniform, dressing himself with a solid two minutes to spare.

He'd already exited the locker room before realizing he'd forgotten his gloves, but they weren't required for materia lessons anyway—he left them, deciding that was better than being a minute late. And it looked like he made the right choice.

The redhead was already in the doorway, tapping his boot impatiently as Cloud hurried toward him. "At least you're punctual," he muttered, letting out an exasperated sigh as he exited the gym.

Cloud followed without a word, this time certain it was what he was supposed to be doing. Why, he had no idea…but at least he knew where they were going and what they were doing. Or, kind of what they were doing. He'd gone through five materia 'lessons' a week for two weeks now, and mostly that entailed an explanation into materia theory followed up with the cadets trying to get sparks out of a lightning materia—so far, it was the only part of training that hadn't exactly gone well for Cloud.

A private session with this man though…From what Cloud had learned already, Genesis Rhapsodos was one of only four people in the history of Gaia who had earned the title Materia Master—technically unofficial, as it hadn't come down from ShinRa, but the researchers and experts who had made that determination sounded qualified enough. Not that Cloud  _needed_ to be told that this man knew what he was doing—he hadn't seen the general use any materia, but the air about him…there was obviously a good reason he had been chosen as the Third General.

"Am I that fascinating?"

Again Cloud jumped, unsure what to make of the question as he trailed behind the man into the elevator.  "Excuse me, sir?"

"You haven't taken your eyes off me since you spotted me in the gym—aside from when you showered, of course. I must admit, I'm curious…" His gaze swept Cloud up and down, like he was making his own assessment about whatever was on his mind. "You approached me without hesitation. How did you know I was there to retrieve you? I already told you once that I don't tend to do such things myself."

"Um…I didn't know," Cloud admitted, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously to keep himself from looking down the way he desperately wanted to. "I saw you near one of the other cadets and I guess you just caught my attention. You don't usually show up for physical training."

The redhead raised a single brow, but to Cloud's relief, it didn't seem to be in irritation. No words were offered though, so Cloud could only guess what he was actually thinking this time.

The SOLDIER stepped out of the elevator the moment it stopped, again not looking back as Cloud fought to match his pace. This was a floor he hadn't seen since his first day in the tower—the office floor where he'd rescued the general from some kind of lecture. Now that he wasn't so stressed and confused, he couldn't help looking around a bit more. The entire tower was nice, but  _this_ floor had a different feel to it than what he'd grown accustomed to over the last couple weeks. It was calm and quiet. No one was roughhousing in the halls or stopping to have a casual conversation—the vibe was too professional for that.

"Sir?" The general looked in his direction but didn't bother to respond verbally. "Is your office really an appropriate place to—"

"How many times have you successfully used materia during training, Blondie?"

Cloud grimaced at the question. "Um…none, sir."

"Then yes. I think my office will survive this session," he concluded, shaking his head twice before flicking his hair back into its proper place.

"How'd you even know about that?" the blond asked quietly, only vaguely aware that he'd spoken the question aloud.

They may not have spoken in two weeks, but he always knew when General Rhapsodos was there watching. There was something overwhelming about the intensity of this man's stare, and Cloud could always feel it on him during even the most rigorous sparring matches. The general had definitely never shown up during any of his materia lessons so far—he would have noticed.

"Did you truly believe I wouldn't be checking in on my investment?" the redhead responded,  _tsking_ before Cloud could answer. "Conscription is a tedious and time consuming process. Just because I have better things to do with my time than personally train a group of cadets doesn't mean your every move isn't being reported in to me."

Those words may have been more concerning if the general hadn't come to a complete stop as he spoke them. Before they could even sink in, the man whipped out a keycard and opened his office door, stepping inside without delay. Cloud quickly shuffled in behind him, blinking in surprise as he began taking in his new surroundings. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but he knew this wasn't it.

Everything he'd seen at headquarters so far had been almost…hi-tech looking. This particular office felt almost homely though, the atmosphere cutting through some of the tense edge in the air.

There was a large desk straight ahead, made from some kind of dark wood rather than the standard metal ones he'd seen so far. There were two chairs angled in front of it, and those weren't the only seats—there was a small leather couch to the right of the doorway that looked  _way_ too comfortable to be in an office. The walls were painted a rich shade of red with two book cases positioned along both the right and left sides—a single painting was hung between each set. Even the curtains looked custom made, a different shade of red that complimented the wall paint…and there were  _plants_ in the window. That touch in particular had caught him off guard more than the rest, but Cloud was slowly getting used to being surprised by this man.

"Did they provide you with any materia for the duration of your training, or do they confiscate it after each lesson?"

Cloud snapped out of his observations, focusing all his attention on the demanding set of eyes that had never strayed from him. "They take it after every lesson, sir."

"That's fine. I'd rather use my own anyway," he responded shortly, moving around the other side of his desk and opening a drawer. He reached in, pulling out a green orb and extending his arm across the desk. Cloud stepped in closer on the other side, allowing it to fall into his open palm as the man released it. "What type of materia is that?"

Despite the coolness he felt from the orb, he knew automatically what it was. "Fire."

Again the redhead arched an eyebrow. "How did you know that so quickly?"

"I…don't know," he admitted hesitantly, curling his fingers loosely around the orb.

"Of all the cadets on the program, you were the only one who demonstrated any skill with materia prior to your recruitment. As of today, you are the only one who has yet to show any skill on the premises...So tell me, Blondie—why is that?"

"I don't really…understand it," he confessed, finally looking down at the hardwood desk. Everything else had been going so well during training, but materia…the thing he was apparently expected to excel at was the thing he had the hardest time using. Even his swordplay had improved dramatically with consistent instruction and multiple sparring partners, but this..."My instructor explained about our inner energy levels—"

"Mana."

"Yes, sir. But I don't understand how to...access it, I guess," he explained, feeling worse with every word. The general's gaze was potent even when he wasn't meeting it, and he couldn't help but feel like a disappointment. He definitely wasn't meeting this man's  _expectations_ , which he'd already been warned would get him removed from the program. "When I'm holding a materia, or I equip it in my bracer, it's just there. I don't feel a connection to it."

"If you don't feel it, how do you know that's a fire materia rather than a lightning materia?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Take a seat," he ordered, taking a seat of his own as he spoke. Cloud obeyed, clutching at the arm rest of his chair with his free hand as he forced himself to look up once more. The general's eyes were as critical as he had expected, his heart racing anxiously as he braced himself for the worst. Maybe he was getting kicked out sooner rather than later—hadn't Director Lazard said something about expecting two people to be cut before the week ended? That was two weeks ago. "The reason you know that is a fire materia is because you're familiar with fire materia. You know how it feels because you've used it already—quite well, I may add. That was no simple fire cast you pulled off in Sector Eight. We have Second Classes who can't manage a tier two spell, let alone from an unmastered materia."

Cloud shook his head helplessly. "Then why…?"

"That is precisely the question I'm trying to answer. I didn't bring you here to improve your sword skills—if I went through all that trouble just for you to end up in Second Class, there  _will_ be consequences. Officially I won't have any say in the matter, but that has yet to stop me."

"Sir—"

"Enough of that," the redhead cut in, waving a dismissive hand. "Behind closed doors I expect you to call me Genesis."

"But…I'm not even a SOLDIER. Why would you let  _me_ —" he started, gawking at the man as he spoke.

"My reasons are my own," Genesis said simply, clearly the end of  _that_  discussion. "Two cadets are being dismissed from the program today, and a third will be removed by the end of next week. I've already ensured you won't be among them, but that means you only have one week left before your final assignment. Two of you will be sent into the field to put your skills to the test—one of you will act as a materia user, the other as a sword fighter."

"…I'm going to be the materia user?"

"Yes."

"But I can't  _use_ materia."

Genesis stared pointedly at him. "Are you implying I'm wasting my time?"

"No, sir! I mean, no…Genesis. I just…Maybe it was a fluke after all, that night. I don't even know how it happened—one minute I'm staring up at two men, the next they're knocked back in a blaze…then I just…"

"What were you  _feeling?"_

Cloud let out a ragged sigh, shrugging his shoulders. Just because it was something he couldn't forget didn't mean it was something he cared to recall...especially not when he had been trying so hard to focus on moving forward. "Frustrated."

"Frustrated?" the redhead repeated, his tone filling with interest. "Your comrades had just died, and you were likely next—yet instead of feeling scared or upset, you were frustrated?"

"I might have been a little of those things too, but by that point…it just made me angry, realizing we were so unprepared. It was like ShinRa gave us guns and a uniform, and nothing else…they just put us on the streets to show they had men everywhere without thinking we'd need any skills to go along with it."

"Yes, the Army certainly does have some training issues—namely because it's much larger than it needs to be. SOLDIER, of course, handles most of the real threats ShinRa faces," Genesis said, shaking his head slowly. "We should stay on topic though—what you're describing makes perfect sense. I had assumed it was an emotional spurred usage, but typically sadness or fear wouldn't amount to such a large blast. Anger, frustration…with a fire materia, that's a lethal combination."

Cloud hung onto every word, growing completely enraptured by how passionately they were spoken—he couldn't shake the feeling some of that explanation had come from personal experience rather than out of a textbook. "The second time, I think I passed out after. I just remember waking up in the infirmary."

"You overexerted yourself. Mana is only simple to manage when you're aware of it—until then, even the simplest spell can consume everything," he explained quickly, only slowing down when he saw Cloud trying to make sense of his words.

It sounded…possible, he supposed. But then why wouldn't that be mentioned in his materia lessons after all this time? In fact, they had spent so much time on general materia theory and practice that they hadn't even once discussed 'emotionally spurred usage'—was it really  _that_ uncommon?

"A group of my men arrived on the scene and moved you to safety after—then they dealt with the fire and remaining terrorists. Unfortunately, a report of the fire had already been sent to the Army base, so you were picked up and brought back to their facilities. The nature of the attack was classified, and my men had instructions not to reveal themselves at that point."

"Not even to the  _Army?"_

"Correct."

" _Why?_  I get that SOLDIER has better training and can do more, but don't our lives mean  _anything_ to you? If we just worked together...Why was SOLDIER even there?"

"That's classified."

"Someone must have known there would be an attack," he pressed, sick of hearing that word used as a blanket response to  _everything._

"Perhaps," the general conceded with an indifferent shrug. "Either way it's classified."

"But if the Army had known more in advance, it might not have happened at all!"

"SOLDIER and the Army are separate entities for a reason, and we have no obligation to report anythingto them—particularly not the details of classified operations."

"…Why are you telling me any of this then?" Cloud asked, feeling better and worse simultaneously as he kept trying to piece together more of what happened that night. Mostly worse—for every new detail he learned, a new question arose. He'd been wondering for so long what SOLDIER's involvement in all this was...and while he still didn't know for sure, he couldn't help filling in some of the blanks on his own when the general didn't answer his question. "You feel bad about it, don't you? That my squad died because your  _policies._ "

"You're only fooling yourself if you believe that. I could care less about your comrades—their deaths were unfortunate, but my conscience is unaffected."

Cloud rose from his chair, heat coursing through his veins as he glared openly at the general. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was talking to the wrong person—that Genesis had only seen the reports and wasn't the person he was actually angry with. But he was a general, and he was the one sitting in front of Cloud…that felt like reason enough to air some of the grievances he'd been forcing himself to hold back for  _weeks_ now.

"This didn't have to happen. Someone could have done something."

"Could have? Yes, we all  _could_ have…" Genesis tapped his chin thoughtfully, his expression growing harder by the second. "Your CO could have been scanning for landmines before he triggered one. Sargent Higgins could have been prepared for the leadership that fell to him in that moment instead of curling up in a ball like a coward. Private Edmunds could have used his  _brain_ and chosen not to run out from cover to retrieve that materia. Private Sully could have—"

"You don't know anything about them!" Cloud snapped, every word filled with the rage that had been building up inside—the heat that had flowed through him multiplying until he felt ready to burst.

Usually he was calm…usually he preferred to sort through his feelings and thoughts by himself. This man though, had gone from occasionally frustrating to downright infuriating. His fingers were still curled tightly around the materia, but he pointed one at the general with accusation, ready to tell that man  _exactly_ what he could have done differently that would have spared his squad…

But the words failed him as his emotions tore through him, igniting when they came together at the point of his fingertip. It was a small, contained ball of fire…but even as it shot across the desk, he could feel the effects of its heat on his hand. Every ounce of animosity he felt was lost, washed away by a wave of sheer panic as he watched a swift red leather glove shoot up in front of the general's face, open palmed. The fire that he'd burned himself with was squelched as the man closed his hand around it, wisps of excess tapering off into nothing between his fingers.

It all happened so quickly, but the time it took for Genesis to lower his closed fist…that felt like it took an eternity.

Outrage. That was what Cloud was expecting when the general looked to him. The smug expression he wore instead was somehow more alarming. "Very good, Blondie."

Everything about those words felt off, and they hit Cloud hard enough for him to cave in and fall back down into the seat behind him. Suddenly he was acutely aware of how winded he felt, taking a moment to regulate his breathing before he could begin to process what he'd just done…perhaps more importantly, why he'd done it.

"…You provoked me on purpose," was his conclusion as he placed the green orb lightly onto the general's desk.

"Yes," Genesis admitted without hesitation.

"Then everything you said…"

"It was all true, though perhaps spoken a bit harshly. That's the world we live in, and you need to accept that if you intend to move on with your life. If you can't handle that, you don't belong in SOLDIER."

Don't belong…for the first time since he started training he was beginning to wonder if that was true. "Something could have gone differently…It didn't  _have_ to be that way."

"My friend, the fates are cruel…"

Cloud stared at the man, confused by the distant look in his eyes—it was like he was speaking to himself, lost in his own thoughts. "I don't believe in fate."

That seemed to snap Genesis back into the moment, his gaze turning indignant. "You're going to be late for your next lesson." He rose to his feet, every step measured as he walked toward the closest book shelf to his right. He reached out, immediately finding the book he was seeking before rounding the desk and offering it to Cloud. "You will read this, starting this evening—it is under no circumstances allowed to leave this building, so don't attempt to bring it with you should you go anywhere. Be warned, my cast will be much more impressive than yours if you break that rule."

Cloud nodded his head automatically as he stared up, reaching out for the book with obvious reluctance. If Genesis valued it so much, he really didn't want it at all…but he  _had_ basically just attacked the man. It wouldn't do to try and disobey him or step out of line again, no matter how torn up he felt about everything now. After all the general had apparently done for him, he was beginning to wonder if Zack had been right _—_ if Genesis was actually a good guy despite some of his more eccentric behaviors.

But nothing about this private session was sitting well in Cloud's stomach.

"It's important to remember your gloves—they're flame resistant," Genesis said, placing the book on his desk rather than into Cloud's extended hand.

He reached out, fingers curling carefully around the blond's wrist as he raised his other hand directly above Cloud's open palm. A green light emanated from it, encompassing the Cloud's hand before he could think to ask what the general was doing. The sensation was peculiar, but oddly pleasant—it felt almost delicate, grazing the surface so gently that his skin tingled even after the light faded away. Once his hand was released, he realized the dull, throbbing pain from the burn he'd given himself was completely gone. After a moment of staring at his hand in awe, he turned his gaze to the general again. Part of him wanted to thank the man, but the other part remembered why he'd burned himself to begin with...

Luckily the general didn't seem to be expecting any kind of gratitude. "You'll need to practice with a familiar element during your free time if you intend to improve your skill in the next week. Take the fire materia."

The blond rose to his feet, accepting the book but shaking his head as he eyed to the materia on the general's desk. He looked to Genesis, for once not minding the stare that had grown impatient. "I already have a fire materia."

"This one is mastered."

Cloud shook his head again, not caring in the slightest. "I already have a fire materia," he repeated, turning toward the door as the man narrowed his eyes.

Apparently he wasn't used to people telling him no…Cloud didn't care about that either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all thanks again for all the support - the feedback and encouragement has meant a lot to me! Second...just another heads up, this chapter somehow went from being potentially the shortest in the whole story to what will likely be one of the longest. I really wanted to cover a good chunk of ground though! I hope you like it, annnnd I'm aiming to be back with an early update again - probably Monday!

Two cadets were dismissed at the end of day 14, just as Genesis warned. What was unexpected though, was the fact all three remaining cadets were made aware of the fact another would be cut by the end of their third week of training. Their day to day routines didn't change, but the competitive attitudes of his fellow cadets rose exponentially. So did his own—despite Genesis' words, Cloud wasn't so easily convinced that his position had really been ensured by the man.

Why would it be?

After their 'private session', the idea of using materia at all wasn't particularly appealing. Before that day he'd tried his best to understand how to do it—he'd tried to wrap his head around the connection between a person's mana and a materia…but now? All he was doing was soaking in the information, curious to understand it but unwilling to use it. It felt like it wouldn't matter anyway—none of the logic behind materia use resonated with him the way Genesis' provocation had.

Between that and his outright refusal to accept Genesis' materia, he had to accept the fact that he would definitely be eligible for the chopping block this time around. It wasn't just a matter of his  _every move being reported in_ to Genesis—the general had started showing up to his materia lessons each day that final week, and there was no doubt in Cloud's mind that his quiet defiance was noted. Every critical stare sent in his direction served as a silent warning, and frankly…those warnings went unheeded because he didn't give a damn about appeasing that man.

More than anything he wanted to make it, but it was important to do that on his  _own_ terms—not because awful things happened when he was backed into a corner.

The best he could do was work hard on every other aspect of the training program and hope that he was SOLDIER material for a different reason entirely. His completion times on VR missions were improving by the day, and all his written exams were simple now—tactics and strategy were beginning to feel like common sense, really.

And sword training…that had definitely become his strong suit. His sword work was at the very least on par with the other two remaining cadets, if not better. Technically there wasn't a running score, but he was sure he'd managed the most wins in the group—he'd been meaning to thank Zack for that because his friend's tips had definitely come in handy, but between the back-to-back 12 hour training days and his friend having missions of his own to do, he hadn't had the chance.

Would it be enough to make it though? His heart was racing anxiously as he waited to find out, the other two cadets shifting just as nervously on either side of him.

"Cadet Denton?"

He didn't allow himself to breathe a sigh of relief as Denton was summoned first, being led by Director Lazard's assistant into the same office where Cadets Phelps and Blake had received the bad news. It seemed likely that meant Denton was the one being dismissed, but he didn't want to assume anything until he was told for sure.

Unfortunately, Cadet Hix never missed a chance to offer his two gil about  _everything_.

"I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did," he asserted, making no attempt to be quiet about it as he turned to face Cloud—the smug look on his face was a bit much, but Cloud forced a tiny, tight lipped smile in response. "Guess that just leaves you and me. I can't wait to see what they have in store for us next!"

"…Yeah," Cloud agreed halfheartedly, mostly in an attempt to be polite—he already knew what was next, and he wasn't quite sure if he should be excited about it.

Luckily Hix was enthusiastic enough for the both of them, rambling on like he'd known all along who the final two would be—how there was nothing they wouldn't be able to handle now that they'd made it this far. Cloud was getting pretty good at nodding along while zoning Hix out at this point, and quickly put that new skill to use.

The weight of a familiar stare caught his attention mid-zone out, and he straightened instinctively where he stood—they were still outside the director's office, awaiting further instructions as directed. Hix shot him a confused look, but quickly straightened out as well when he saw what Cloud had already felt...Generals Hewley and Rhapsodos approaching them with purpose.

"Congratulations on making it this far," General Hewley offered, a warm smile on his face as he looked from one cadet to the next. "Your final assignment begins tomorrow—we're going to brief each of you separately. Cadet Hix, if you wouldn't mind following me…"

For the first time in three weeks, Hix's absence was a terrible thing. Cloud stared after his fellow cadet, a deep frown settling on his face as his fellow cadet walked away at General Hewley's side. Even after failing miserably during all his materia lessons—after showing he was far more capable at everything else...

"You  _are_ aware that means you're coming with me, yes?" Genesis asked expectantly, arching an impatient brow.

"Yes, sir," Cloud replied automatically, taking his time before trailing after the redhead for a change.

It didn't take long to notice they were headed down a familiar hall, presumably toward Genesis' personal office again. He could only hope he wasn't about to hear exactly what the redhead thought about his materia performance over the last week...This time the office's homey atmosphere did nothing to quell the uneasiness Cloud felt, but he tried to shake it off as best he could as the general wordlessly motioned for him to take a seat.

"I brought you here to brief you for your next task—not to scold you," Genesis informed him, the words too exasperated to actually be reassuring. The general folded his hands on the desk as he eyed the blond, apparently ready to get down to business regardless. "Tomorrow you're being sent on a weeklong mission centralized in the Kalm area. The town has requested ShinRa's assistance handling a recent influx of attacks."

"…What kind of attacks?"

"Local creatures—Kalm fangs. They typically don't venture so close to town, so something obviously set them off—your primary objective will be to investigate what triggered the attacks."

Cloud nodded as he took that in, wondering just how much of this mission was 'mock'. He knew what Zack said—that this mission wasn't legitimate—but surely it was supposed to  _seem_ real at the very least. He shifted where he sat, trying to stay focused on what the general had to say about it. "What're we supposed to do when we find out?"

"How you choose to handle the situation is entirely up to you," Genesis said simply. "SOLDIERs in the field often make decisions based on how the mission develops—while you may not  _be_ a SOLDIER, you'll be expected to do the same here. Just remember that the decisions we expect you to make won't be the same decisions we'd expect a SOLDIER to make."

"How will you be monitoring the mission?" Cloud asked tentatively, hoping it didn't sound  _too_ much like he already knew.

"You'll be calling in reports every 6 hours—more often if there's an important development. A response team will be sent out should you require any assistance," the general explained, completely straight faced as he spoke.

If Zack hadn't already told him that he'd be followed on the mission, he would have believed the redhead without a second thought—this man was definitely a good actor. The way he was speaking…it was almost like he was reciting from a well rehearsed script. In a way, he probably was—it wasn't like this was the first time he'd sent some cadet out on a mission. Something was unsettling about it though, and Cloud couldn't quite put his finger on why. It was so unlike any of their previous conversations...

Genesis reached down to his right when Cloud didn't question him further, lifting up what appeared to be a standard supply bag and placing it carefully on his desk. "Your supplies."

Cloud reached out slowly, taking the bag into his lap before opening it and peeking inside. "This is it?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. Three materia, a tightly bundled tent, some meal ration bars, a handful of potions…"Am I getting a sword?"

"No. I believe I already told you that you would be the materia user for this test."

"But I can't  _use_ materia," the blond said adamantly, eyes snapping up to meet the general's. Mock mission or not, it was fair to assume he'd need to put  _some_ of his skills to the test...especially if there really _were_  creatures attacking in the area. "Even Thirds are authorized—"

Genesis just stared back coolly. "You're not a Third Class SOLDIER."

"But—"

"You may be able to fool your instructors, but you're not fooling  _me—_ I know you can use materia," Genesis told him shortly, his tone finally taking on a hint of what Cloud had anticipated from the start—annoyance. "I sincerely doubt you'll be in a situation that will require a sword anyway. Even an unenhanced child with a rock could fend off a stray Kalm fang, and there's a good chance you won't encounter any at all. Your primary task will be gathering information about the attacks—so long as you don't rile up the townsfolk by asking ridiculous questions, you should be fine."

"But what if—"

"Yes—that's the perfect example of a question  _not_ to ask," Genesis interjected, a smirk creeping onto his face when Cloud narrowed his eyes. "You're overthinking this, Blondie. You should be more concerned about which materia  _isn't_ in that bag."

Cloud reached in tentatively at those words, fingers grazing each of the three materia. They were all green, but he assumed they weren't all the same—he had no idea what type they were, but...

"There's no fire," he concluded, sure of that much at least.

"Correct. Can you identify any of the three you have?" the general asked, sounding genuinely curious. Cloud just shook his head, not daring to look up and meet the man's eyes again—he didn't want to face another indignant stare. "Restore, blizzard, and barrier. You're free to bring your own supplies—anything you can fit into that bag is allowed."

"…Maybe I'll bring a sleeping bag then," Cloud replied as casually as possible.

"A fire materia is good for a lot more than just combat. I assume by your comment that you noticed the tent in that bag? You're not being allotted any gil to spend on an inn room. With a fire materia, you can light a camp fire, or—"

Why was this man so persistent? "I don't need materia to light a campfire."

"Oh really? Well, I truly hope your skill with a flint is impressive because you're expected to do  _something_ of note while you're on this mission."

The clipped tone was like a signal flare in the air, causing Cloud's heart rate to spike nervously as he realized he was finally starting to push his luck. He gripped the bag more firmly in his lap, trying to remember his place—that his future was literally in this man's hands. Not only that, he was only  _here_ because this man had gone through the trouble to make it happen.

It was strange when he thought about it…that someone who apparently wanted nothing to do with him had actually done so much for him.

"Why's it so important to you that I use materia?" Cloud asked slowly, forcing himself to look back up and meet the man's gaze head on.

"I won't tell you again—conscription is a long and tedious process," the general answered, his voice becoming startlingly soft. "If I put in all that effort, the least you can do in return is be worth it."

"I am," he insisted, willing himself to believe it as well. He had to be, whether he could use materia or not.

"Good. Be in the tower's main lobby at 0600 hours—a transport will be waiting for you and Cadet Hix," Genesis said, eyeing him carefully. "Do you have any further questions?"

"No, sir," Cloud responded, sinking in his seat at the sharp look he received in return. "Genesis," he corrected, not sure he liked how easily the name rolled off his tongue.

"You're dismissed then."

Cloud nodded in acknowledgment, rising to his feet slowly and slinging the supply bag over his shoulder. It wasn't until he stepped outside the office door that he let out a long, shaky breath—one he hadn't even realized he was holding in.

* * *

Even though he knew it was a mock mission, he couldn't help feeling wary about the fact that he had no way to defend himself—the three materia in his bracer may as well have been decorative as far as he was concerned. Knowing that Zack was among the SOLDIERs overseeing the mission though…well, actually it was a bit creepy to think his friend was lurking around somewhere watching him. But it was still reassuring in a way—if Zack was around, at least he could be sure nothing would actually happen to him or his partner.

That thought stayed with him through it all—even on the fourth evening, when they finally encountered their first Kalm fang.

They had been walking back to the town after another long scouting trip in the area, ready to do more reconnaissance regarding the influx of attacks—a loud snarl from behind was their only warning. Hix's reaction time was actually impressive, his sword already in hand as the creature descended on them.

Cloud watched it all anxiously, move my move—a swift upper cut eliciting a yelp from the fang as Hix prepared his next maneuver. That only seemed to enrage the creature, bearing its fangs with another long growl…He clenched his fists, eyes narrowing with determination. There was no way he was willing to stand idly by while his partner was under attack—it didn't matter that Hix wasn't exactly his favorite person. They were in this together, and he intended for both of them to make it through to the end.

Even with a wounded leg the fang moved quickly—definitely more quickly than Hix, even if the cadet's blows were powerful enough to push it back. Cloud fixated on the creature with all he had, his head aching with concentration…

It was useless though. Whatever connection he was supposed to be feeling with the materia wasn't there, and standing around glaring at the creature with all the focus he could muster wasn't going to do a thing. Hix attempted another crooked slash, but Cloud recognized the signs from their sparring matches together—his partner was getting winded already. The creature evaded another blow with ease...

There was no pressing danger, but it definitely wasn't going well either. It was only a matter of time before Hix stumbled...if that happened, the mission would be over—their SOLDIER monitors would have to step in, and they'd both fail.

He needed to do  _something_ before that happened.

_"Even an unenhanced child with a rock could fend off a stray Kalm fang."_

Cloud popped out one of the materia from his bracer without another thought, ready to put the general's words to the test. He wasn't even sure which materia it was as he wrapped his fingers hard around it, but that hardly mattered—he wound up his arm and chucked it with every ounce of resolve he'd accumulated.

The good news was, his shitty aim must have improved at some point. A loud thumping sound filled the air as the materia collided with the fang's head, followed by another disgruntled yelp as it began its retreat.

Somewhere in the distance Cloud was sure he heard familiar, booming laughter…

Hix eyed the blond silently for a good minute after that. "Did you seriously just  _throw_ a materia at it?"

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed with a nod, moving in to retrieve the materia—after bouncing off the creature's head, it had fallen to the dirt and rolled a small ways. Hix was grumbling under his breath the whole time, and while Cloud couldn't hear it all, he knew exactly what was being said—more complaints about how  _of all the cadets_ there was no way Cloud should have been chosen as a materia user for this. The same shocked complaint that Cloud had heard at least a dozen times on the transport ride into town, and one he tried his best not to dwell on. He dusted off the materia on his uniform top, popping it back into his bracer before facing his partner again. "I wasn't just going to stand there while you—"

"I could have killed it! Now it's gone and it'll probably be back this way when we're not around," Hix insisted, gesturing toward where it ran off in dismay. "Our mission is to get rid of as many as possible!"

"No, it's not—we're supposed to be finding out why they're attacking to begin with. If we can get to the bottom of it, maybe we can stop whatever's causing all this. Pack creatures don't normally act like that," Cloud told him, reminded easily of the pack creatures near his own home town.

Kalm fangs weren't so different looking than Nibel wolves, and from all the descriptions the townsfolk had provided so far, they behaved in a similar manner. It would be a shame to have to kill  _any_ of them if it could be avoided. Creatures like that normally stuck to their packs, strictly hunted other creatures, and stayed away from the town—under normal circumstances they only attacked humans when provoked.

The fang they'd just encountered had wild eyes though—glowing so brightly…

"We should get back to the inn," the blond suggested, ignoring the way his partner was still griping under his breath. "I think the innkeeper will be more willing to talk now that we've actually seen one."

"Why would that make a difference?"

"Did you see its eyes?" Cloud responded, not shocked when Hix just shrugged in response. He'd probably been too caught up in fighting to really  _look_ at it. "The way they were glowing—it wasn't normal."

"You've never seen one before," Hix pointed out, folding his arms across his chest. "How would you know if that's normal?"

"It's just a hunch," he answered, reluctant to admit that Hix may have a point this time. Maybe it  _was_ normal for Kalm fangs to look like that. "Either way we can ask about it. She was definitely holding something back the last time we spoke to her."

"Fine," Hix agreed, sheathing his sword a moment later. "We'll head back to the inn and ask around again—but  _you_ get to call in the next report and explain how that fang got away."

"Okay," he muttered, grimacing at the thought but unable to argue.

It wasn't his turn to call in the report, but it  _would_ be a strange thing to have to explain. Thankfully their reports weren't being made to an actual person—they were called into some kind of voicemail…but still. They were being monitored, so it wasn't like he could lie or leave out the awkward details that he didn't care to explain.

Their walk back to town was filled with silence, both apparently in unspoken agreement that it wouldn't do any good to hash it out any further at this point. Cloud pulled out his PHS when Hix entered the inn, letting out a dejected sigh before he began giving a detailed report of everything that had happened in the last six hours—their last report had been dull, called in during the middle of yet another uneventful scouting trip outside of town.

This time he ran through the monotonous details of continuing that scouting trip, sweeping all the common areas where the fangs had been spotted for clues before facing their first actual encounter. He only fumbled over his words once, and was glad no one was close enough to see the small smile tugging at his lips when he mentioned throwing his materia _like a rock_.

Hix stepped back out of the inn almost right on cue, a moment after Cloud pocketed his PHS. "You were onto something with the eyes," he revealed, a bit of his normal enthusiasm returning. "Get this, the lady inside says they may have been exposed to something— _on purpose._ "

"On purpose?"

"Yeah," Hix said, nodding eagerly. He stepped in closer, lowering his voice as he gestured for Cloud to follow him away from the building. "She says there's some disgruntled townsfolk who aren't real happy with ShinRa," he explained quietly, eyes darting around like he was looking for anyone who may be listening. "Rumor is a few are trying to stir up some kind of rebellion—they contaminated the water supply out where the fangs drink with  _mako_. That way it looks like it's ShinRa's fault."

Cloud arched an eyebrow at that. It was getting difficult to tell which parts of this mission were real and which were 'mock', but he couldn't openly discuss it with his partner—not without Zack potentially getting in trouble for telling him in advance. After three days of no sightings, he'd been wondering if maybe there hadn't been any attacks at all...So many townspeople had confirmed the attacks though, and now he'd seen one of the fangs firsthand.

But this explanation still sounded more than a little farfetched—why would the townspeople want to do something that would be detrimental to their own town? There had to be other ways to get people on board with their plans. And Kalm…it wasn't  _that_ far from Midgar. Surely it would have been in the news if there was some kind of local rebellion brewing—he hadn't heard about anything like that since the war in Wutai.

Then again, he also hadn't heard anything about terrorists in the streets of Midgar.

"…Did she say anything else?" he asked skeptically.

"She told me there's this spot," Hix began, pulling out his map and pointing to a position a ways northwest of town, "where some of them hide out. I think we should go check it out!"

"Where the fangs hide out?"

"No, the rebels!"

Cloud shook his head decisively. "We should call in first and—"

"Don't worry about that yet," Hix interjected confidently. "We'll go take a look and see if it's worth phoning in."

"We should at least see if anyone else in town can confirm—"

"We're running out of time and this is the best lead we've got! You can stick around here if you want, but I'm going to go check it out now before it gets dark. It's not like you're pulling any weight—I can handle it alone."

The words were like a slap to the face, but he tried to let it go for now. It wasn't worth bickering—there was no point.

Maybe he hadn't managed to use any materia, but he  _had_ run off that fang. He'd also been the one leading all their scouting missions so far, navigating the fangs' trails with ease despite the fact they hadn't found any solid clues. Not only that, he'd been pulling his weight with the reconnaissance in town—and approaching random strangers in the streets wasn't exactly his favorite thing to do. And apparently Hix had already forgotten whose idea it had been to talk to the woman who provided the lead…

Clearly Hix was going to go whether he liked it or not though, and they were squad mates now. It didn't matter if SOLDIER called it partners—if they were going to succeed, it had to be together.

"Let's go to the stables," Cloud suggested before they were at the edge of town. "It'll be faster on bird."

"We don't have any gil."

Cloud could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks, barely able to bring himself to say it out loud, "When you were talking to the stable keeper yesterday…His wife was crazy—she kept petting my hair and…I'm pretty sure she might lend us a couple birds for free."

Hix raised both brows, but to his credit he didn't say a word—he just nodded in agreement for once and let Cloud lead the way. Sure enough, the woman  _did_ remember Cloud from the previous afternoon and was more than willing to lend out two chocobos to her  _favorite little chocobo._ The embarrassment wasn't worth it, he decided, but it was far too late at that point—she was already cooing as she stroked his hair one last time before sending them on their way.

"Don't," Cloud scowled, not bothering to look in Hix's direction—he was sure it was only a matter of time before the laughter ensued. It was bad enough thinking about what Zack was going to say about all this later…

"Which way is it?"

He frowned at the question, unsure why he was so surprised that his partner had no sense of direction. "This way," he answered, pulling ahead on his bird—he wasn't even the one with the map and he knew that. Between the time of day, position of the sun, and position of the town it was easy to tell which way was northwest. Granted, he'd grown up in a small town where he'd learned to rely on things like that…Maybe he should have let Hix go  _check it out_ by himself, he mused. "It'll probably take a good hour or so even on bird."

"Well thank Gaia for your—"

"If you make  _one_ joke about my hair looking like a chocobo's butt I'll turn around and let you try to find your way alone," Cloud warned, taken aback when Hix actually laughed at his threat—he was being completely serious.

"You're not so bad, Strife," his partner admitted, a smile on his face after he was done chuckling. "Sucks you can't use any materia, but it's better than being paired with Denton I guess."

"…Thanks," he muttered, hoping the word didn't come off too sarcastically.

The rest of the ride was spent mostly in silence—Hix occasionally tried to draw him into conversation, spouting off knowledgeable tidbits about swordplay or tactics…boasting about the sparring matches he'd won against the other cadets. Cloud had gone back to zoning him out at that point, nodding along and responding with a  _yeah_  when a verbal response seemed necessary.

He finally pulled on the reins of his bird, bringing it to a halt—he had to squint to see it, but there was definitely some kind of makeshift structure in the distance. "I think that's it."

"Why'd you stop then? That's good news!"

"There's nothing else out here—if we ride up on birds we'll be spotted for sure," Cloud told him, looking around the area curiously. There were a few scattered trees, but not much else otherwise. "We should wait until it's dark, then walk from here."

"The sun's already setting!" Hix protested, though he didn't offer a better suggestion.

"Then we won't have to wait long," he replied, ready to put his foot down about this much at least. "If that's really a rebel camp, we can't just walk up to it while the sun's out. They'll have lookouts."

"We were trained to handle this—SOLDIER is about taking action!"

"We're not SOLDIERs yet," Cloud responded coolly, eerily aware of the fact that Genesis had reminded him of that during his briefing. "There's something off about this whole thing."

"Yeah, us standing here when there's a camp full of rebels we could be taking out," Hix shot back, hopping down from his bird and releasing the reins. The chocobo didn't hesitate before turning back, following its natural instinct to return to its home stable when released. "I'll give it  _one hour,_ and then I'm going to go look with or without you."

Cloud hopped down from his own bird, his stomach turning uneasily as he let it go. "You really don't think there's anything weird about this? Rebels in  _Kalm?"_

"Maybe it sounds a little weird," Hix admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "That's why we have to go see though—and if it's not true, at least we did  _something_. That's what General Hewley told me in my briefing...that we'd only make it if we did something of note."

"General Rhapsodos told me the same thing..."

"So let's do it then. It's dark enough!" Hix declared, moving decisively as he spoke.

"Wait!" Cloud exclaimed, his demand ignored as his partner pushed ahead. He followed reluctantly, catching up and eyeing Hix with a rising certainty. The decisions they were supposed to make...they were different than the decisions a SOLDIER would be expected to make. That's what Genesis had told him. "This is a mistake. We should—"

"No one asked you to come along."

"Yeah, someone did—when they put us on this mission together. They also knew we weren't enhanced when they sent us...We can't just—"

Hix shushed him before he could finish his sentence, and that was when he knew it was a lost cause. For better or worse, they were doing this.

It was a miracle they weren't spotted as they approached on foot, the sun barely forgotten as they made their approach. The camp itself seemed to be temporary, surrounded by thick wooden spikes that were roped together as a poor fence. They were taller than Cloud, though Hix had to bend down to remain unseen from over the tops of the points.

What was  _inside_ the makeshift camp raised more than a few questions…

There were tents pitched all around the area—presumably belonging to the 'rebels'. At least two men were standing guard directly in front of what appeared to be the entrance, armed with military grade rifles. They were both wearing green scarves that Cloud would recognize anywhere, no matter how poor the lighting was.

The 'rebels' were definitely infantrymen. How it was possible…or  _why?_ That he didn't know. But he was sure this was where the line between 'mock' and 'mission' was drawn.

"What I don't get about all this," Hix whispered, shaking his head slowly, "is why they wouldn't just have the Turks collect the information? They could have told us to check here from the start—we're supposed to be the muscle."

"You really want to stop and ask questions  _now?"_ Cloud practically hissed, more than a little annoyed that his partner didn't want to think about this five minutes ago. "We need to fall back and talk. These aren't rebels at all, they're—"

"You're worrying too much. We have materia—if we can cast blizzard on their guns, they won't—"

"Can you just listen to me for a minute? They're not rebels, they're infantrymen! We walked into a setup and we need to get out before—"

"Hands up!" They hadn't even taken a single step away when three 'rebels' approached them with rifles at the ready. "Drop your weapon." Hix's sword fell from his fingers to the dirt with a soft thud, and all Cloud could do was hang his head. He'd know...he'd known for  _weeks_ that the final test would be a fake mission, and he'd  _still_  managed to get 'captured'. "Into the camp."

The two partners shuffled into the camp as instructed, two 'rebels' at their rear and one leading them inside. It only took a second for Cloud's assumptions to prove true...

"And that's a wrap!" All guns were lowered at the loud exclamation, and Cloud tried not to groan—that voice…Hix looked terrified and confused, but the blond knew exactly what was happening. The show was over. "Honestly, you two are the  _worst_ recruits who've ever reached this stage of the program."

"They aren't  _that_  bad, Gen," another familiar voice—a friendlier one—argued, and Cloud could just imagine the big, goofy smile on his face. "But, uh, yeah. Not very smart walkin' up to the front door, eh Spike?"

"I seem to remember you doing something remarkably similar," a deeper voice responded, to which Cloud couldn't hear his friend's muffled retort.

Genesis' distinct voice cut through the two other men's exchange sharply. "You know him?"

"Of course I do! Why'd ya think I made Angeal let me tag along? I wanted to see how it went. Hey, the rest of you guys can get to bed if you want—good work!"

The group of infantrymen scattered upon that dismissal, most retreating toward the tents that were pitched throughout the camp. As they were leaving the area, three expected figures emerged from the shadows—Zack, General Hewley, and General Rhapsodos...

The redhead wasted no time displaying his own materia use, dispersing tiny flames around the campsite to light the many lanterns within. It was only then that Cloud really got a good look at any of them. Zack looked as happy as ever, but General Hewley...he looked so stern, his brows furrowed and arms folded across his chest. That couldn't be a good sign. He couldn't even bring himself to eye General Rhapsodos, already feeling disappointed enough in himself.

Not that he  _needed_ to look at the Third General to find out how he felt about all this. "Needless to say, you both failed this assignment."

"What's going on?" Hix asked, finally finding his voice.

"This was a mock mission—the 'rebels' were infantrymen, and this 'camp' is just an Army supply cache in the area," General Hewley explained, shaking his head slowly. "SOLDIER provides compensation for their participation in these exercises. We've been monitoring you the last few days to see what would happen."

_"Why?"_ Hix pressed, completely aghast. "What if we'd killed someone?"

Genesis snorted at that. "It seems more likely you would have gotten yourself killed first."

The burly SOLDIER shot him a glance before turning back to the cadets. "We wouldn't have allowed that to happen," he assured the two, and despite the man's angry brows...something about his gentle tone compelled Cloud to believe it.

"But…this is SOLDIER…and they were rebels! Our mission was to take care of the problem."

"It seems you missed the point of this test," General Hewley said solemnly. "All of your progress the last three weeks has been cataloged—you made it this far because the skills you demonstrated were adequate. We already _know_  that would be amplified with enhancements. That's why this final exercise wasn't a test of skill—it was a test of character...something significantly more important."

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Genesis inquired, his gaze fixated solely on Cloud—all the blond could do was bite his tongue though, his hand balled into a fist.

"What were we supposed to do?" Hix asked, sounding more and more deflated by the word.

"You were supposed to show some restraint—and patience," General Hewley told him. "You were supposed to demonstrate your ability work as a team and make rational decisions. If you'd just called in a report before approaching the camp, we would have responded with instructions to wait. Then we would have revealed ourselves and ended the mission."

"Personally, I find it more entertaining when the cadets take the bait. I wish this happened more often."

" _Genesis_ ," General Hewley grumbled, sending the redhead another look. Genesis just shrugged, the gesture bringing a small smile back to Cloud's face. That smile faded almost immediately as General Hewley focused on him and Hix once more, his disappointed stare thoroughly disheartening. "Do you have any more questions? Otherwise I've arranged a tent for you—we won't be able to get a transport back to the city until first thing in the morning. We'll debrief each of you properly once we've returned."

"The fangs…" Cloud started, one lingering issue on his mind. "We only saw one, but there was definitely something wrong with it."

"That part of the mission was real—we just planted the information about rebels being the cause. Three different townspeople would have provided the misinformation if you'd asked the right questions, regardless of whether or not you'd seen one of the fangs," the Second General admitted. "We've been splitting up to take care of that issue while monitoring your progress, so you can rest assured it's been resolved now. The one that got through to you—"

"Yeah, that one might've been my fault," Zack cut in apologetically, hand on the back of his neck. "You guys sounded so _bored_ when you were calling in those reports though! I knew you could handle it. And hey, nice aim, Spike!"

He glared openly at his friend, but Zack only winked in response...he was sure his face couldn't get any redder until Genesis scoffed loudly. "Yes, let's praise him for that—it must be the first time in history that a barrier materia was used offensively."

"We can discuss that more during the debriefing," General Hewley suggested, much to Cloud's relief. His harsh eyebrows lifted just slightly as he eyed the blond again, and that was apparently all it took for his features to soften. "There  _is_ something I'd like to know...Why did you follow Cadet Hix here? Aside from that materia mishap it seemed like you were making all the right decisions."

"Come on, Ang!" Zack groaned, stretching his arms widely in the air. "Can't the Q and A wait until tomorrow?"

The general just chuckled in response, his patient eyes not leaving Cloud. "I'd prefer to hear this answer tonight."

"…We're partners," Cloud said, unsure what else he was  _supposed_ to say on the subject. That was the only answer that meant anything to him. "When I couldn't persuade him to stay, I knew I had to go with him."

"Don't look at him like that, Angeal. That one's mine."

General Hewley turned to Genesis, a small smile pulling at his lips. "Are you planning to train all your men in the proper art of throwing materia?"

"It doesn't matter  _what_ I'm planning—I've already claimed him."

"…That's not how this works, Gen. And this isn't the time or place to discuss it further."

Genesis let out a drawn out sigh, but nodded in begrudging agreement. "Tomorrow, then." His eyes fell to Cloud, jolting the younger man out of his thoughts with ease. "Goodnight, Blondie. And the rest of you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh all the support has been so great - thanks so much ^.^ Here's the early update as promised, annnnd I'll be back Thursday with the regularly scheduled update ~

* * *

"Spike…you're gonna make it," Zack reassured him for at least the fifth time that morning. "And just think—even if you  _don't_ , you're a shoe in for a job at the stables in Kalm!"

Cloud scowled at that, but he knew it wasn't nearly as fierce as intended when Zack just grinned back at him in response.

The two friends didn't get the chance to speak alone all evening, and didn't exchange more than pleasantries on the transport ride back to Midgar...mostly because Cloud spent the entirety of the trip staring down at his boots, thinking about how the 'mission' had gone—and what the two generals had said the night before. That didn't stop Zack from talking, but it seemed like General Hewley was the only one who was drawn into the conversation. It wasn't until they were back at the tower and the generals went their separate way that Zack looked to Cloud specifically again, following the blond directly up to his room without hesitation.

After a few comments about forgetting how small the entry-level rooms were, he'd plopped onto Cloud's  _shitty bed_  and started right in on the more important discussion.

"Seriously though, I shared a tent with Angeal last night, and he's impressed with you—you scored big points by acting  _honorably_ …" Zack stopped to roll his eyes, eliciting a slight smile from Cloud's otherwise blank face. "I dunno about the other guy—pretty sure it'll depend if he fesses up to his mistakes or not at his debriefing. It sounds like his sword skills weren't that bad, so Angeal might take him if he learned something from all that. You don't need to stress about it though, we know what happened."

"I'm not really worried about making it," Cloud confessed, trying not to sound too overconfident—normally he might assume the worst, but it was hard to forget Genesis' words from the night before. No matter how he felt about the general or how up and down the man could be…he was set on getting Cloud into Third Class, and he definitely didn't seem like the kind of man who didn't get exactly what he wanted. "I'm more concerned about…"

"Genesis," the SOLDIER guessed, tilting his head thoughtfully when Cloud nodded. "What's with that, anyway? He claimed you?"

Cloud's heart leapt, much to his dismay, and he suddenly became acutely aware of how intently Zack was studying his face. "It's nothing."

"You're getting red  _again_ —just like every other time I bring him up," Zack noted, curiosity breaking into a signature smile. "You're into him, aren't you?"

"No!" he said quickly and insistently, desperately needing his friend to believe him. "He just…annoys me, honestly. I don't understand him."

"What's there to understand? He  _claimed_ you, and hey…he's not so bad. Give the guy a chance maybe, eh?"

"He didn't mean it like that—he meant it like I'm his property. Like I owe him because he conscripted me," Cloud explained, taking a seat on his bed next to Zack. Suddenly he was dizzy, and pacing the room wasn't helping. It was just too much to think about—Genesis was too confusing. The normal parts of their conversations weren't so bad, but all the evasive words...the way he riled Cloud up intentionally? He could do without all that. "I'm the  _only_ cadet who couldn't use a single materia during boot camp. I don't know what he wants with me."

"Well…you  _did_ light that fire in Sector Eight," Zack reminded him with a shrug. "He probably figures he can draw that kinda power out of you again, ya know? Or get someone else to do it at least. He's really picky about who he accepts—you should be glad he wants you so bad."

"Glad?" Cloud scoffed, feeling anything  _but_  glad. "He brought me to his office for a private lesson after I sucked so bad during training, and you know what he did?" he asked, shaking his head as the irritation began to swell inside him again. The only thing keeping it at bay was a friendly pat on the back, knocking it back down long enough for Cloud to finish, "He gave me a materia and then he pissed me off… _on purpose_. I nearly blasted him in the face with a fireball."

At first Zack just stared at Cloud, blinking a few times like he was trying to gauge just how serious the blond was being—it didn't take long for him to see the truth on his younger friend's face, a slight smirk creeping onto his face. It went unreturned, which seemed to have been the final confirmation Zack needed—at that point there was nothing to stop the loud laughter that followed.

"…I'd have paid good gil to see that!" he exclaimed, still coming down from his laughter.

Cloud whacked his shoulder, not nearly as amused. "This is serious! I can't work with someone like that."

"C'mon, Spike. There's gotta be more to it than that—he knows his stuff when it comes to materia. If he'd warned you, you probably wouldn't have reacted the same, right?"

"I guess," he grumbled begrudgingly.

"And hey…you're usually pretty hard to work up like that. The fact that he managed to—"

"Means he's an asshole."

"I dunno about that. Hix sounded like an asshole during that mission and you didn't even blink. Gen says, what? A few blunt things? Sounds like he just has a way with you, Spike."

"…He was talking about my dead squad mates," Cloud whispered, inhaling a deep breath and forcing out the sadness as he exhaled slowly. Even after all this time it wasn't an easy subject to think or speak about, despite how supportive and helpful his friend had been about the whole ordeal.

Zack's light expression hardened in an instant, his hand reaching out to tilt Cloud's chin back up so they were eye to eye. "Want me to talk to him? 'Cause it sounds like he crossed the line, and you don't hafta deal with that—not even from him."

"I'm fine," Cloud assured him, only vaguely aware that he really didn't feel any lingering resentment about it. Or at least not about that part. It was frustrating to think someone who commanded men on a regular basis would deliberately provoke a subordinate, but... _how_ he had chosen to provoke Cloud was a separate issue entirely.

His eyes fell to the book on his dresser, narrowing as he stared at it for a long minute. It wasn't a good book—he hadn't gotten very far into it before his mission, but he'd gotten far enough in to know that much at least. Most of it hadn't even made sense…but maybe that wasn't the point.

"I think I get what he was trying to say," the blond admitted reluctantly. "Part of it was just to frustrate me, but there was more too."

"Oh yeah? Care to enlighten me?"

"We were talking about how things could've gone differently if SOLDIER and the Army just communicated better...I know it wasn't his choice, but he brought it up and I just couldn't let it go. Then he started spouting off all the different things my squad could've done too. Maybe he was a jerk about it, but maybe…maybe he was  _right_. It's done—they're dead, and I'm here, and that's that. Maybe it's fate or maybe it's just how it is…that part doesn't matter. What matters is, there's no point in looking back on it and thinking about how else it could have gone."

"You're right. Grieving, reflecting—all that's good. Doubting and blaming though, that won't get you anywhere."

Cloud frowned. "So it was my own fault that I got angry?"

"Uh, I didn't say that—sounds like classic Gen to me. You probably said one thing, and then he twisted it into however it was he said it to piss you off so much. He's good at that, especially when he wants to be."

"Is he always right?"

"…Usually."

"That pisses me off too," Cloud complained, running a hand through his hair, but unable to stop himself from laughing as his friend began chuckling. "I just wish he wasn't so confusing. Or that he just came out and  _said_ whatever it is he's thinking or planning."

"Probably doesn't think he owes you an explanation. And I hate to break it to you, but maybe he doesn't—he's a general. He doesn't have to tell every single SOLDIER what he's thinking at all times, ya know?"

"I don't wanna know everything, just the parts that have to do with  _me._ Why's he want me so badly?"

"Eh, you're kinda cute," Zack offered, ruffling through blond spikes as Cloud groaned in disagreement. "Ever thought about just askin' him?"

"He ignored me the last time I tried," Cloud said, letting out a short sigh—granted, that had been the day they met. He hadn't exactly had any great opportunities to press the issue since that day...and if he couldn't get a straight answer about why the man was so adamant about him using materia, he doubted he'd get an answer about anything more specific.

"Try again."

Cloud looked to Zack from the corner of his eye, amazed by his friend's ability to make it sound so genuinely simple. "Guess I have no choice—I've got that debriefing soon anyway."

"That'll be with both of them—they'll talk and talk till you're ready to fall asleep, mostly to each other…then they'll tell you that you made it! And if it's not going the way you want, try giving Angeal a head tilt and a pout—that might sway him to tell Gen  _too bad_ and steal you into my class instead."

"I'm pretty sure that look doesn't work for anyone else on Gaia aside from you…"

Zack grinned widely. "You may be right."

"I'm just glad it doesn't work on  _me_ anymore."

"Hey! That's a lie, and you know it!" Cloud shoved a hand up, blocking out Zack's face because he was  _sure_ Zack would follow that statement up with  _the look._  "If you have to look away, that means it works!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I will," he retorted, grabbing at Cloud's hand and lowering it with ease—luckily he had resumed his normal smile already. "Hey, you better go—you don't wanna be late on your first day as a SOLDIER, trust me. Otherwise you'll be hearing about it for  _years._ " The blond arched an eyebrow at that, sure that Zack was probably speaking from experience. And if he wasn't...either way Cloud had no interest in putting the warning to the test. He hopped to his feet, ready to get going despite the nerves starting to pile up inside him. "Swing by my place later if you wanna celebrate—I'll order a pizza or something. No drinking though! You probably start injections soon, and uh…never, ever drink within a week of those."

"…Injections?"

"Yep—mako injections. Did you think it was gonna be a surgery or something?" Zack asked, not looking surprised at all when Cloud nodded his head.  _Everyone_ thought SOLDIERs underwent surgery for their enhancements. "It's kind of a company secret, so we're not supposed to confirm or deny it when people make that assumption—pretty sure you'll have to sign another nondisclosure agreement in the labs."

"I can't decide if that sounds better or worse than surgery." The idea of some kind of surgery had been daunting, so he was sure he should be relieved—but something about being in a lab and getting poked with needles didn't sit well with him either. He chose to focus on Zack rather than think about whatever was going to happen to him, relieved again by a pat on the back as his friend jumped to his feet as well. They walked out the door together, Zack matching his slow pace as he let his feet drag on the way to the elevator. "Don't you have actual work to do?"

"Yeah, but I was pulled from the duty rotation because I was supervising your mission with Angeal—that was scheduled out to last all week, remember? So thanks for the extra days off, Spike! It was really nice of you two to screw up so quickly."

Cloud elbowed his friend in the side, pushing the button he needed to get to Genesis' office with his free hand. Zack had already pressed the button to get up to his room's floor, mumbling something about catching up on lost sleep while he had the chance. Most of it was drowned out as the anxiousness settled in, and soon Zack was stepping off the elevator with a smile and a wave.

To his dismay, the elevators were  _always_  faster than he expected, shooting up to the office floor less than a minute later. He tried his best to stay calm as he walked the familiar path to Genesis' office, grateful that the office itself was peaceful at least. Maybe he could fixate on a painting instead of worrying about the look in Genesis' eyes or the furrow in General Hewley's brow...

That thought had barely crossed his mind as the door swung open, removing his last opportunity to recollect himself before falling under Genesis' startling gaze. The redhead gestured wordlessly for him to step inside, and he tried his best to do so without looking as frazzled as he felt. General Hewley was already present, tending to the plants in the window as Cloud trudged in slowly and took a seat across from the desk. The Second General finished a moment later, moving to stand by the side of Genesis' desk so he could face Cloud.

"As I'm sure you're already aware," Genesis began, pulling out his own lavish chair and sitting down gracefully, "you have been accepted into the Third Class."

General Hewley offered a warm smile. "Congratulations, Cloud."

Cloud hadn't expected himself to smile so broadly upon hearing the news, but there was no holding it back—he perked up in his chair, heart soaring as he finally got the confirmation. Even though he had been relatively sure this would happen, it still felt damn good to hear it officially. "Thank you, sirs."

"What did I tell you about calling me that behind closed doors?"

"Um…but, sir, we're not alone, and—"

"It's fine," General Hewley assured him, flashing another small smile. "I don't care much for formalities myself. Plus, you're a friend of Zack's—I'm sure I'll be seeing more of you now that you're a SOLDIER as well. Feel free to call me Angeal."

"…Yes, sir."

Angeal quirked a bemused eyebrow. "Or not."

His face lit up as he grimaced, shaking his head apologetically. "I'm sorry," he tried, only to have it waved off by both men—one dismissively, the other kindly.

"I'll break you of all those habits soon enough," Genesis told him, more of a promise than anything.

"...Is it okay to speak freely?" he asked hesitantly. An unamused stare promptly told him that was a silly question. "I think you're making a  _huge_  mistake. I'm not cut out for Third Class...I was a lot better with a sword."

"I don't make mistakes—not about things like this. I always choose the appropriate men for my class, and you will not be the exception." The redhead looked to Angeal, who had let out a quiet sigh as he spoke. "…Did you have something to add?"

"He may have a point, Gen," Angeal answered, shaking his head slowly. "He must be the only Third Class recruit on record who couldn't use a single materia during boot camp."

"We already had this conversation, and I already won—if  _Sephiroth_ can trust my judgment about this, I think you can too."

"Seph learned to pick and choose his battles with you  _years_ ago…it wasn't worth saying no."

"I've already developed a specialized training regime for him," Genesis countered, looking triumphant as Angeal stared at him in surprise.

Cloud's eyes were wide too, but thankfully they were too busy staring at each other to notice.  _Specialized training?_  That couldn't be good…not from the man whose last brilliant idea had been to piss him off to spur a reaction out of him.

"What kind of specialized training?" Angeal pressed, echoing Cloud's exact concern.

"Do I sit around and tell you how to train your men?"

General Hewley folded his arms across his chest. "Frequently."

"Only the ones with bad form."

"Which is apparently all of them," Angeal responded, chuckling softly as Genesis shrugged nonchalantly. "We shouldn't be discussing this right now anyway—Cloud, if Genesis chose you, there must be a good reason. It sounds like what you did in Sector Eight was an impressive display, and if anyone can pull more of that out of you, it'd be him. After your enhancements you'll be in your next training period anyway—you won't be sent out on missions until you're ready. And if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, we can have you transferred into Second Class instead."

Cloud straightened up in his chair, looking to Angeal eagerly. "That's possible?"

"Absolutely—I'd be happy to have you. Once you've received your enhancements, you've essentially made a lifelong commitment to SOLDIER, so it's not like you'd be thrown out," Angeal explained grimly. "Those details will be in your new contract though."

Lifelong commitment…

When he enlisted in the Army, it was a four year contract with bonuses available for re-enlistment in certain fields. Four years had seemed like forever back then, but it was nothing compared to this. There was no turning back or changing his mind here.

Cloud paused, letting the gravity of that sink in. "Oh," was all he could say in response.

A couple years back he would have been so sure this was everything he wanted—everything he dreamed of, really. But now that it was here…now that he had it, he couldn't help but wonder if this was really the right thing to do. Maybe getting turned away from SOLDIER two years ago was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Or maybe this was all fate after all. A cruel fate…

"We do good work, Cloud—important work. It may sound like a big commitment, but when it comes to protecting people around the Planet, it's worthwhile. You already possess the most important trait a SOLDIER can have, and—"

"Spare him the honor lectures," Genesis cut in, letting out an impatient sigh. "I already told you this wouldn't be glamorous, Blondie—at the end of the day, we work for ShinRa. What we do here, as SOLDIERs, is what enables ShinRa to get away with the poor training you faced in the Army—becoming a SOLDIER will only help perpetuate those failures. You can let that reality defeat you now, or you can embrace it."

" _Genesis!_ "

"It's the truth, and you know it, Angeal. He needs to understand, unless you intend for him to snap the next time he hears a tragic tale about an infantry squad losing their lives—it's more common than you realize, Blondie."

Cloud clenched his fist, not doubting the truth of that statement as he met Genesis' eyes. SOLDIER, the Army...it  _was_ all ShinRa, regardless of how separately the organizations typically operated. Switching from one to the other didn't change much, and it didn't solve any of the problems he'd faced.

But he'd already decided he needed to keep going, weeks ago.

It wasn't just a matter of living out his own childhood dream anymore—staying was the only way he'd ever find out more about what happened to him that night. It was the only way to keep fighting for what his fallen comrades had died fighting for. And if these  _incidents_ really were so common, he needed to stick around and do something about that too.

Maybe it was an ambitious to-do list, but leaving wouldn't accomplish a damn thing. If he quit now, he'd probably just end up feeling worse for squandering his only opportunity.

Both generals were eyeing him curiously as he tried to sift through his own thoughts, their unwavering stares overwhelming in different ways as he attempted to recompose himself. They were obviously expecting him to respond in some way, but he wasn't sure  _what_ to say to that...

"Zack told me what SOLDIERs fight for isn't anything ShinRa says, but our own ideals," he remembered, the words filling him with renewed purpose. "I think that's what I want too."

"That's true," Angeal assured him with a fond smile. "You can choose to believe you're just completing a mission, or you can choose to believe you're completing the mission to protect someone—to be a hero, is what Zack would say."

Cloud smiled back weakly at that. "I like how that sounds." And what it meant…

"Good. You know, we got off track here—this was supposed to be a debriefing about your mock mission," Angeal realized, looking to Genesis. "I suppose there's no need for that now."

"No, he did well enough. It was his partner who made the wrong choices—the only thing worth noting is that you should have been  _far_  more assertive," Genesis said, the intensity of his stare growing incrementally by the second. Thankfully it was torn away, giving Cloud the chance to recover when it shifted to the other general. "Angeal, would you mind giving us some privacy? If we're not doing the formal debriefing, I'd rather speak with him alone about how things will proceed from here."

Angeal nodded amicably. "I packed some leftover casserole for lunch—plenty to share if you want to swing by my office later. I already invited Seph."

"…Gil's recipe?" Genesis asked slowly, looking more pleased than usual when Angeal nodded again. "I'll be there. Now go!"

Another deep chuckle as the burly SOLDIER walked toward the door, more quickly and quietly than Cloud would have thought possible for a man of his stature. He only paused for a second to give Cloud a gentle pat on the back, smiling down one last time as Cloud nodded up…then he was gone. The blond eyed the door for a long moment, his comfort level faltering in a hurry as he turned to face forward once more. Genesis was staring at him intently still, elbows propped up on his desk as he cushioned his chin on his crossed fingers.

"What do you find so intriguing about Angeal?"

"Intriguing?" Cloud repeated, smiling awkwardly at the idea. That is, until Genesis' eyes grew impatient—he straightened in his chair again, shaking his head quickly. "I don't think he's intriguing—I just think he's nice."

"So nice that you'd rather be in Second Class?"

"No," he answered decisively, no longer caring  _which_ class he started as. It wouldn't matter in the long run...and with his current materia issues, getting some specialized training as a Third might not be such a bad thing after all.

"But you  _would_ prefer to be in Second Class for another reason, I assume. It sounds like you and Zack are close."

"No…I mean, we are, and it'd be great to work with him eventually, but—"

"Second Classes don't go on missions together. A standard mission pairs one Second with one Third—you have a better chance at working with him as a Third Class," Genesis told him shortly. "Not that it matters with him…he's a lieutenant. You won't be in the same mission pool regardless."

"I'd rather prove myself before going anywhere with him anyway."

"Well then? This is your last opportunity to air your grievances. What is it about the Second Class that draws your attention?"

"I don't want to be a Second Class," Cloud replied, growing more and more sure of himself and what he wanted.

"You want to be First," Genesis realized, eyes lighting up with amusement. "That will take  _years_. You can't even use any materia without my assistance."

"I thought you set up specialized training for me."

"I said that to keep Angeal from overreacting," the elder SOLDIER replied with a slight smirk. "I have a theory, but it all depends how similar you are."

"Similar to who?"

"To me."

Cloud waited a moment, uncertain how serious Genesis was being…but the stare he expected to grow impatient in a hurry remained unmistakably calm. "What does that mean?"

"Tell me first—did you bring your fire materia on the mission?" He frowned at the diversion, but nodded his head anyway. "I didn't see you attempt to use it."

"…It was in my pocket," the blond admitted, so quietly he could barely hear himself.

Genesis arched an eyebrow. "You're aware it won't do you any good in your pocket, yes?" The redhead paused just long enough for Cloud to nod. "And you also know if you intend to make First someday, throwing materia will not be an acceptable skill?" Another nod. "Good. So long as you understand, I suppose I can let it slide then."

"Were you going to punish me for it?" Considering the fact it  _worked_ , that hardly seemed fair...

"No, but I have no interest in assisting someone who would rather waste my time than reach their potential."

"How do you know I have any potential at all?" Cloud asked, slumping where he sat. "I've only been able to use it when I'm mad, and I can't...It's not like I can get mad on command."

"Not so long ago I was young and idealistic as I'm sure you were prior to what happened in Sector Eight. I had dreams, honor, and every silly thing Angeal likes to preach about…In fact, I wasn't so different from Zack either—I wanted to be a great hero, surpassing even Sephiroth. As it turns out, being a hero isn't much like it was in all the books I read as a child," Genesis explained, the only thing anchoring him to the room his lock on Cloud's eyes—his voice was elsewhere, quieter than the blond had ever heard. Something about his tone sent a chill down Cloud's spine, and he was already sure he wouldn't like how this story ended. "Reality came crashing down around me rapidly, and much like you, I had a fire materia in my hand the moment it did."

"…What happened?" he wondered aloud, his hushed voice just as tense as the general's.

"That…is a story for another day, I think. My point is, there's no hiding your potential from me—you and I share something most people could never hope to truly fathom. The only difference is I had to work through what I'd managed to do alone—through research, trial, and error. It wasn't until after I figured it out that I was able to join SOLDIER…and there weren't three classes back then. You have a couple distinct advantages—my experience, and mako. Your enhancements will essentially be a treatment of mako, injected directly into your blood stream. Having that will expedite the process for you, and I'll take care of the rest."

"What's that mean?"

"It means my current approach clearly isn't working with you," Genesis said softly, pushing his chair back from the desk before rising to his feet. Cloud watched his every step as he moved around the desk, staring up curiously as the man stood directly in front of him. "I wanted to let you work it out for yourself, but it seems I have no choice but to monitor your progress personally."

"...Will it be like our last lesson?"

"That depends entirely on you," Genesis told him, shrugging indifferently. "During our last lesson you had no interest in using materia—you hardly even tried during your training period. I assume if you're serious about making First someday that you'll be willing to put in some actual effort."

"I  _did_ try," Cloud insisted, shaking his head helplessly. Genesis just scoffed though, letting the accusation sink in. He  _had_ tried before their private session, but…maybe halfheartedly. "It's not that I don't want to use materia, and I know now…I  _need_ to use it. I just…"

"Associate it with the destruction you created that first time," the First concluded, looking oddly sympathetic as Cloud nodded his head. It sounded ridiculous—there were so many different types of materia, and plenty were non-offensive. But the only one he seemed to grasp was the one he couldn't bring himself to use...not willingly. "You know, fire is my favorite element."

Cloud laughed under his breath, openly looking the man up and down—of course it was. Red jacket, red gloves…a hot temper and a flare for dramatics. What else would he associate with this man, if not fire?

"Ah, you're doing what most people do," Genesis noted, extending a hand to Cloud. He accepted it hesitantly, gasping as the man tugged him promptly to his feet. The sudden momentum nearly caused him to lose balance, but Genesis steadied him with ease, a hand lingering on each shoulder as he leaned down just enough to hold Cloud's gaze levelly. The blond gave the general his full attention willingly, doubtful that his words would change anything...but hopeful regardless. "Most people hear the word fire and immediately think of destruction…they still find it mesmerizing when they see it though."

Cloud nodded in agreement, though none was required—Genesis had been stating facts, and clearly not asking for his opinion. He felt compelled to respond though, breathlessly awaiting whatever else Genesis had to say on the subject.

"I confess, I find it mesmerizing as well…but fire is much more than that. When I think of fire, I think of the caress of warmth against my skin," he explained, his breath creating that very effect on Cloud's face. Again the blond nodded, though this time he would have preferred not to—it felt like it would only hasten the moment, prompting the general to continue, "What do  _you_ think of, Blondie?"

The question caught him off guard, and it took him a moment to even blink, let alone  _think_. He furrowed his brows thoughtfully as he studied Genesis' eyes, caught up in the bright hue burning in them. "Light," he whispered, finding the answer as he spoke it.

"Not very poetic, but…true nonetheless," Genesis said, an approving smirk on his face as Cloud nodded wordlessly  _again_. "You know, you're one of the only people around here who doesn't seem to have a problem speaking your mind around me—yet here you are, barely saying a word. Have I finally found a way to silence you?"

"Were you looking for one?" Cloud asked quietly, unsettled by the question.

Genesis retracted his hands from the blond's shoulders, taking all the heat they had been sending through Cloud away in the motion. "Certainly not," he answered, leaning back against the desk.

Cloud opened his mouth to protest, suddenly feeling very cold and very empty all at once. Everything that had just filled him…the heat, the flutter, the anticipation…he wasn't quite sure  _what_ he had even been anticipating, but he knew Genesis had taken that from him when he pulled back, and he knew it was even further removed when he leaned away.

_Crap…_

He stared up into knowing eyes, face red with embarrassment—it was like Genesis was looking  _into_ him, aware of every hidden thought he was desperately trying to suppress. Thoughts he hadn't even known he had, that now seemed too blatant to ignore.

This man was frustrating, abrasive, and dramatic…but he was also intelligent, interesting, and insightful. When they were having a relatively normal conversation it was hard to remember he was anything else—it was hard to see past the captivating look in his eye or the handsome smirk on his face.

Cloud frowned, thoroughly derailed as the man continued to study his face so carefully. Was this all just entertaining to Genesis? Judging by the way his eyes were dancing, it definitely seemed that way. It was as if the redhead had his own questions ready too, but was waiting…for what though?

"That's enough for the day," Genesis declared, as if he'd just reached his own conclusion. "I took the liberty of bumping up your injections so that you can begin training again as soon as possible—they'll be expecting you in the labs at 0900 hours tomorrow. It's a five day treatment, and I wouldn't recommend making any other plans. You won't have any desire to leave your room, I suspect."

Cloud blinked, completely caught off guard by the information that had just been dumped on him—he definitely wasn't in the right frame of mind to think about his injections or anything other than the man right in front of him. "Okay," he managed.

"Do you need me to walk you to the door?" Genesis offered, looking entirely too amused as Cloud continued standing there staring up at him.

"What?" The general put a hand on his shoulder, jolting him out of his daze. Door…It was less than ten feet away, he definitely didn't need help getting to the door. "I'm fine," he muttered, mortified by his own obliviousness. He dropped his gaze quickly, rushing away from the man while he could. Every step brought back more and more of his awareness, and with that came more and more humiliation.

What an idiot…Genesis must have thought he was such a moron… _he_ thought he was a moron, falling prey to thoughts about this frustrating man of all people. And being so  _obvious_ about it, too—the redhead would probably have a good laugh about it after he was gone.

He'd been so sure Zack was full of shit...that his only thoughts of this man were annoyed or confused ones—at most they were curious, intrigued thoughts. But  _this_ …where did  _this_  feeling come from?

"Blondie…" He stopped near the door, not daring to look back. Thankfully the general didn't wait for him to turn around before speaking again. "Would you like to borrow another book? Since you'll be stuck in your room for a few days."

"I'm still reading the other one," Cloud replied, braving a tentative glance over his shoulder. "Thanks though…Genesis."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ~ so, thanks as always for the support ^.^ I'm glad the regular updates seem to be going over well! I've got a busy few days coming up here, so I'm not planning another early update next week - but I'll try my best to stay on track for next Thursday if I can!

* * *

The first day wasn't that bad. Mostly because on a new SOLDIER's first day of injections, they were put into a materia-induced sleep in the labs while monitored for any rare or unexpected side effects…he hadn't dared read the list before signing his nondisclosure agreement, already wary enough of the entire process. By the time he had awoken, he was being escorted back to his room where he promptly slept for another eight hours.

The second day had been a rude awakening…quite literally. If it hadn't been for a lab escort showing up, he was sure he would have spent the morning curled over the toilet vomiting. Instead, he spent roughly an hour doing that before being injected with what he was sure was the true 'gift of the Goddess' he had read about in the book Genesis had lent him—because anything that curbed his nausea was definitely a godsend. Unfortunately, that gift was short lived as he was injected with more mako after being deemed 'stable' again.

The third day was…a bit better. It was more like waking up to the worst hangover imaginable, and that was at least manageable. He made it to and from the labs without any help, and even felt up for company when Zack swung by to see how he was doing with his treatments.

Day four was a step back in the wrong direction, which was apparently normal because the dosage increase, and day five…

"Well, at least you're done," Zack told him, patting him reassuringly on the back. "It'll be a good year before you get a booster shot."

"Booster shot?" Cloud repeated, too preoccupied hunched over his toilet bowl to look at Zack—he was sure he was going to be sick again, but desperately trying to refrain.

"Yep—mako injections are annual," he explained, chuckling sympathetically as the news finally broke Cloud's will not to vomit. "Better to just let it out, bud. Don't hold back on my account."

"I have to do this every year?" Cloud groaned, accepting the water bottle Zack handed him a moment later.

"Yeah, but it's just a one day thing, not five—first timers have to get tapered up to the right dose. Your body is rejecting it, so they can't do too much at once—like a virus or something, it's trying to fend it off and that's making you sick. I'm no scientist, but I can tell you from experience it gets a bit easier every time."

"A bit easier?" he grumbled dismally, not comforted by Zack's silent nod. "So it always sucks?"

"Yep. Supposedly though, your tolerance builds up more and more every time—eventually you can hit a point where your dose is high enough to sustain itself without the injections. Pretty sure Sephiroth's the only one who's ever hit that point, but who knows—maybe you'll get lucky!"

Cloud groaned again…like  _that_  would ever happen. "Remind me why I wanted to be a SOLDIER…?"

"Because I'm such a badass and you wanted to be just like me. Can't say I blame ya, kid."

"Pffft," Cloud laughed, no amount of nausea able to prevent him from rolling his eyes. "The only SOLDIER I've ever looked up to is Sephiroth, and I'll never be like him."

"Not with that attitude you won't," Zack responded, smirking as he jumped to his feet. "Think you're done for a bit?"

"I hope so," he replied uneasily. At the very least there should be nothing left in his stomach  _to_ throw up at this point, but he still felt awful. "Why?"

"I dunno, I kinda wanted to do something if you're up to it—not that sitting on the bathroom floor with you isn't a blast."

"I don't think—"

"We can head to my place and watch movies if you don't feel like going out—or we can game if you promise not to hurl on my controller," he offered, smiling broadly as Cloud shook his head. "C'mon! You don't have anything fun to do in this room, and I have a perfectly good toilet if you end up needing one. We can hang out, and then when you feel like you won't throw up everything you see, we can order food—my treat."

"Zack, I don't think—"

"If you wanna clean up or whatever first, that's cool," Zack assured him, reading his mind. What he wanted was his toothbrush, and then a long shower to wash the ick away. Something told him it wouldn't be quite so simple, but it still sounded like a decent idea. "Tell ya what. I'll give you some privacy so you can take care of business, then you just swing by when you're ready."

"Can't we hang out tomorrow?"

"Nah, I've gotta report in for duty tomorrow. You're gonna be busy after that, so this is our last chance to just chill for a while I think. Let's not waste it!"

"Okay," he agreed, trying not to sound as reluctant as he felt. Really, he wanted to spend time with his friend—it was his treacherous stomach that didn't. "Hey, Zack?" he asked, causing his friend to stop and turn back around as he walked out of the bathroom. The door had been open the whole time, since Zack had shown up and found him sitting by the toilet first thing in the morning. "What happens next?"

"Next?"

"I wasn't told when to report in or what I should do after injections," Cloud said, closing his eyes as he felt another wave of nausea rising inside him.

"Oh, that's just 'cause everyone reacts differently to their first batch of mako—some people get right to work after a day or two, others kinda struggle with the side effects and then adjustment period. The lab techs were supposed to tell you—you get up to a week to get it together and report in with Gen."

"Adjustment period?"

"Yep…haven't noticed anything yet?" Zack asked, looking mildly amused as Cloud shook his head. "I don't wanna spoil the fun…you'll notice when you're not busy focusing on how sick you feel."

"I don't get it."

"That's why it's fun," he responded with a shrug, laughing again until Cloud actually ended up heaving into the toilet once more. "Man, your body really doesn't like it, huh? I got sick my first time, but by day five I was mostly good. Sucks that you have to be one of the ones with a harsh reaction." Cloud could only nod in agreement, taking another sip of water to try to get the taste out of his mouth at least. "If you're not up to it, we don't hafta do anything—it's not like we'll never see each other."

"I wanna go with you, but…" Cloud shook his head again, forcing down another long sip of water. "Let me clean up and see how I feel maybe."

"Okay, sounds good—no pressure if you're not feelin' it," Zack told him, an encouraging smile back on his face in a hurry. "Just swing by, or give me a call if you need me to come back instead. I can bring soup or whatever…I dunno if that's really helps with mako induced sickness, but uh…you'll probably just throw it up anyway, so I'm sure it's fine."

Cloud shot him a glare. "Go away," he demanded, a bit more playfully than intended.

"Ouch! You don't hafta tell me twice," Zack said, winking as he turned and headed toward the door. Cloud couldn't see him from the bathroom, but he heard the sound of the door swinging open a moment later. "Hey Gen, what's up?"

The door closed as Cloud heard the words, and he didn't quite process them at first. It wasn't until he heard talking outside the door that it began to sink in...There were two distinct voices—Zack's and Genesis'.

Genesis was outside his door.

It was an alarming realization, causing him to jump to his feet immediately—he was way too frazzled to think about how the sudden movement was a terrible idea. There were more important things to consider. First, he smelled horrible. Second, he had a horrible taste in his mouth still. Third…he flushed the toilet, hoping the entire room didn't wreak as well.

As he hurried to brush his teeth, he grumbled incoherently, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked like absolute crap…his hair was a mess, he was at least a shade paler than usual which shouldn't have even been possible, there were bags under his eyes from barely sleeping, and…

His eyes.

Cloud stopped what he was doing, the toothbrush sagging against his cheek as he stared at himself in the mirror. Several rapid blinks later, he was still stunned. All his life he'd had big blue eyes, but they never glowed quite like they were now. Mako eyes…undeniable proof that this was all really happening—that it wasn't just another one of Zack's elaborate practical jokes gone terribly awry.

A loud rattle on his door snapped him out of his daze, the sudden noise causing him to flinch. He hurried to finish brushing his teeth, spitting out the toothpaste before giving his mouth one last rinse. It wasn't perfect, but it was much better than the taste he'd had in his mouth a minute ago. Part of him was convinced it was just Zack at the door again anyway—that meant there was no reason to stress out about his breath.

There was no reason for Genesis to show up at his door.

He took a deep breath, not exhaling until after he cracked the door open. "…Did you forget something?" he asked, strangely disappointed to find that he was right—Zack was the one staring back at him when he opened his door.

"Uh, no, I just missed you so much," Zack teased, grinning as the blond scowled at him.

"I thought I heard you talking with someone."

"Yeah, I bumped into Gen actually—he wanted me to give you these," the Second explained, handing over a small black box that was just long enough to cover both of his open palms. Cloud eyed it with an arched eyebrow, but his friend seemed to see the question before it was asked. "Looks like your materia set. Standard issue—probably just the basics in there. Gotta prove yourself before they give you the really good stuff."

He ignored most of that, poking his head out the door and looking up and down the hallway. "He was here?"

"Yeah, but he took off already. Probably for the best—he'd never let you live it down if he saw those pajamas."

Cloud's face was red as he looked down at himself, deciding Zack had a decent point…he was wearing his sky blue, chocobo print pajama bottoms, and that wasn't exactly his first choice of attire to be seen in by his commanding officer.

"Spike, you okay? You look like you're gonna be sick again," Zack noted, a stilling hand on Cloud's shoulder as he spoke.

His eyes flickered up to meet his friend's, and he gave a quick nod. "I'm fine. I just don't get why he'd come all this way just to have you give me this."

"I dunno. He said something about having better things to do—wasn't such a huge shock, really. It's kinda weird he didn't just wait till you reported in though…not like you'll be using these in the meantime."

Cloud let out a short sigh, sure that he wasn't meant to understand. If it were like everything else he'd experienced with Genesis so far, he'd probably find out more later. "I'm gonna go finish up."

"K, see ya in a bit, bud."

He mumbled a quick goodbye before turning to shut the door, his attention falling immediately to the box in his hand. There was a small metal clasp on the front, and he found himself unhooking it impulsively. There were five small spheres, a mix of greens and blues…and a sixth half-sphere slot that was vacant.

A note attached to the lid of the box seemed to explain the empty slot…

_I believe you already have a fire materia._

His heart jumped as he ran a finger over the note, reading it once more to be sure. He could practically hear the words being spoken in that smooth voice as he read them, and while the tone wasn't exactly clear from the note...he was sure it was written with kindness rather than the annoyance he may have expected after rejecting Genesis' last attempt at giving him a fire materia.

With the open box still clutched in one hand, he moved to his dresser, setting it down before shakily taking hold of the first orb—a light green one. Heal, he realized, unsure how he recognized that from a simple touch. A lightning materia was next, and a barrier…sense and restore. A few days ago he was sure he wouldn't have been able to identify a single one of these materia without instruction, but now…

There was an obvious explanation—he'd had an entire week's worth of lectures on the matter.

_"Materia is essentially condensed mako,"_  he'd been told, time and time again…and now he had mako in his veins.

Cloud opened the top drawer of the dresser, reaching in immediately for the only object left inside—his fire materia. It fit perfectly into the empty slot in the box, and the unsettled sensation in his stomach was replaced rapidly with guilt.

His own materia set. How much gil had Edmunds spent on that fire materia? And here he was, given a starter box for free. Not only that, having one of the materia inside discarded because it wasn't needed. Well, he was sure it hadn't been completely discarded, but who knew? It seemed likely there was an excess of materia around ShinRa, and that it was tossed around like it didn't amount to six low rank infantrymen's paychecks.

The harsh reality could only distract him from the nausea for so long before he was running back into the bathroom—it was definitely time for that shower when he was done.

* * *

Cloud hadn't made it to Zack's apartment that day. Between his growing anxiousness about what was to come with his training, his persistent nausea every time those concerns settled, and the simple fact that he kept having the weirdest accidents…he decided stepping outside the door to his temporary room was a very bad idea.

The term adjustment period started to make a lot more sense when he broke the doorknob to his bathroom door, tore the fabric of his new uniform top when he unfolded it to put it on…and then cracked the frame of his bed when he flopped down on it too quickly with a long sigh.

His experience with mako was definitely not great so far.

When the nausea stopped entirely though, and when he began to really  _feel_  the difference in his own power, it didn't take much for it to click in his head. What were once normal movements were now faster, stronger ones that he could control if he just paid attention. It wasn't a perfect transition even when he tried to be aware of his newfound strength, but…well, a few days rolled by and he stopped accidentally tearing his clothes—that seemed like progress.

And that allowed him to get dressed properly after going out in his civilian clothes to requisition a couple new uniforms. He was actually eager to report in, despite the fact he was sure he hadn't fully adjusted yet.

_"Nah, it'll take weeks—months maybe till you really get a hold on it. But training is the best way to test your new limits and see what you can really do,"_  Zack had told him, excited for him to get to work as well.

He wasn't entirely surprised by the sudden swell of nerves that rose from within him as finally he stood outside Genesis' office, but he did what he could to keep them at bay instead of surrendering to them. At one point or another he  _had_  to show up to report in this week…he didn't have the luxury of hesitating or delaying it much longer.

One of his main concerns was the simple fact that this just wasn't how it was done in the Army—lower ranks never turned up randomly at the offices of high rank officials. Meetings were either scheduled, or the low ranks were summoned...and  _both_  scenarios were generally nothing to look forward to from his experience. Sure, this was SOLDIER, but even all his previous conversations with Genesis had only occurred as scheduled or when the redhead showed up to see him—never the other way around.

_"That's not how we do it around here,"_  Zack had reassured him, shooing him out the door with an encouraging smile after he'd dropped by to see his friend that morning.  _"If he's busy, he'll just tell you when to come back—and if he's not there, try again later. You've got three days still, you'll catch him around at some point."_

Once he'd replayed those words in his mind a few times, he concluded again that Zack was right—it wasn't a big deal to show up like this. The nerves swarming his stomach didn't subside though, and there was only one other explanation for that.

This would be his first time seeing the general since their fire discussion, and the thought alone made his face red all over again. Would he end up gawking at the man again somehow, despite his best efforts not to? Genesis might not be so amused if it became a recurring issue...and he wasn't particularly nice when he was annoyed.

Cloud just had to hope that it wouldn't be a problem—it wasn't like this situation was anything special. So much had hit him, so hard and so fast...but he was level headed enough to keep it off his mind. With Genesis in particular there was a simple solution. The man was a  _general_...a superior officer. That thought alone was enough to keep anything else at bay, and they had plenty of work related issues to discuss. If he just stayed focused, he could get through this without embarrassing himself horribly again.

After a deep breath he balled his hand into a loose fist, knocking twice on the door. What was supposed to be a soft tap had inadvertently been quite loud—the sound made him grimace, proving that it wasn't just his strength he hadn't fully adapted to yet. His heightened senses definitely caught him off guard still as well.

There was no verbal acknowledgment after his knock, but there was a distinct noise that Cloud picked up on—an unpleasant buzzing sound from the keycard panel by the door handle. He took that as permission to enter, reaffirming his choice as he discovered the door was indeed unlocked now.

He stepped inside slowly, easing the door shut rather than letting it close on its own. That served two purposes…it ensured the door didn't slam and cause him to flinch again, and it gave him a much needed moment to tell himself to calm down as he felt the scrutiny of Genesis' gaze pinning him where he stood. By the time he turned around and willed himself to step forward, he was relatively sure he didn't look like a complete idiot.

"The color suits you," Genesis noted, his eyes raking the blond up and down with a curt nod. Cloud blinked at the compliment in confusion, looking down at himself slowly—then he remembered, he was in his burgundy Third Class uniform rather than the green cadet uniform he'd been in the last time he'd spoken with the general. "I had argued for a more distinct shade of red when they split the program into three classes, but…well, at least it looks decent on  _someone_."

"Um. Thank you, sir," Cloud responded politely, unable to hold back a small smile. Genesis just arched an impatient brow in return, and he immediately knew his mistake. He had already let his superior officer thought process go too far. "Genesis," he corrected, his smile quickly turning into a frown as the man sighed. Eventually that sigh ended, leaving him standing there awkwardly, shifting on his feet as he waited for whatever was supposed to happen. Genesis' stare grew expectant, and Cloud forced himself to speak again. "Um…I'm supposed to be reporting in this week for training. Or, I thought I was?"

"Correct. Before any that though, it seems we need to address your decorum. Again."

"Excuse me?"

Genesis rose to his feet, and Cloud quickly shuffled his own feet together, hands behind his back and shoulders straight—the look in Genesis' eyes told him enough, but it seemed the man wouldn't miss the opportunity to make his point very clear.

"You are no longer in the Army—you are a Third Class SOLDIER now, and I expect you to act like one. There's no need to jump to attention for me or any other First Class—not even Sephiroth."

"Okay," Cloud gave a nod of understanding, slipping into a slightly more relaxed stance—it was impossible to _actually_  relax, but that was mostly due to the look accompanying this particular lecture.

"I thought I was clear last time we spoke—I have no interest in silencing you." The reminder of their last conversation was enough to get his heart to jump in a way that was much more erratic than the nervous beat it had fallen into at the start of their conversation, and he desperately needed a seat. He moved closer to the desk with purpose, too aware of the piercing eyes following his every step as he let himself fall into one of the chairs without further delay. At least some of his words were already sinking in, so he knew it was fine even without invitation. "Good. I'm not asking you to be rude or interrupt me—I'm still your commanding officer, and I expect you to defer to my decisions regardless of what we discuss. But I need you to understand what you are now. You are no longer a mindless grunt."

Cloud narrowed his eyes slightly, immediately put off by the notion that he ever  _was_  a mindless grunt…even if he knew it was true.

"You are a SOLDIER," Genesis continued, shaking his head as he put an open palm down on his desk. "Combat skills are vital to what we do, but there are other important skills as well. Part of being a SOLDIER is making judgment calls and taking decisive action as mission parameters develop, and to do that, you need to be able to think and communicate effectively. After your training period is complete, that's it. You're on your own. There won't be a ranking officer with you in the field—just your Second Class partner, who will be your equal. If you expect to get worthwhile assignments, you need to demonstrate all of your abilities without refrain while I'm in front of you," Genesis told him, again demanding as he stared pointedly. "There won't be anyone to turn to for orders when you're out fighting mako exposed creatures outside of Kalm, or—"

"Or reacting to an unexpected attack in Sector Eight," Cloud cut in, hardening a bit finally.

"Exactly. In fact, that's the perfect example—you can't seem to bite your tongue when that incident is being discussed. I need that attitude from you more often. When you walk into my office, I expect you to state your purpose without hesitation from now on—I won't keep wasting my time prompting you until you feel comfortable. If you don't know why you're here, leave and come back when you do—it's as simple as that."

Cloud's tried to ignore the sinking, defeated feeling in his chest as every word hit him, wishing more than anything that he could explain himself. There really was no good way to say it though, not without being torn apart again for sounding ridiculous. How could he explain that he made a conscious effort to revert to some of that Army mentality because it was easier to keep his own thoughts in line that way?

On the bright side, it was alsoeasy to push any stray thoughts aside when Genesis was acting this way.

His stomach turned uneasily at the realization, quickly debating if  _that_ was the real reason for the general's blunt words. After their last conversation, he was hoping they'd reached a turning point, but...maybe this was just Genesis' way of discouraging what had obviously been written all over his face the last time they spoke.

As if he  _needed_ any actual discouragement—he already knew it was a bad idea to think about this man.

"When do we start training?" Cloud asked instead, hoping to just move on with the conversation.

Genesis sat back down in his chair, flicking his head gracefully as his hair fell in front of one of his eyes. "Kunsel will meet you in the Third Class training hall this afternoon—1300 hours. He'll have your permanent room assignment by then, and take you to it when you're done for the day. ShinRa will have any of your personal belongings moved from your temporary room."

"…Kunsel?" Cloud repeated, too stuck on that detail to care about his living situation. "I thought  _you_  were training me."

"I don't personally train new recruits."

"But you said—"

"I said I would personally monitor your training," Genesis responded shortly. "And I will—Kunsel will be filing reports, and I'll respond to those reports as needed. Eventually I'll assign you an actual mentor, but until then, Kunsel knows enough to get you situated."

"Mentor?" he pressed, getting more and more lost in the conversation.

"Kunsel will also explain how the training regime works now that you're enhanced."

It sounded like a dismissal even if the word dismissed wasn't stated. Genesis' eyes had already fallen back to his computer monitor, and Cloud wondered briefly what he was looking at—tedious charts, mission details, reports maybe? The general didn't look particularly interested in whatever it was, but something in the air felt like a warning not to bother asking.

Apparently there was a fine line between speaking without refrain and knowing his place…But he didn't need to show how confused he was about that. Cloud stood up, determined to remain as composed possible. "I'll head out then—thanks, Genesis."

A simple nod was the only response, so Cloud trudged toward the door as quickly as he could before he started second guessing himself. Maybe he shouldn't have been as surprised as he was when Genesis' startling voice brought him to a grinding halt.

"Did you attempt to use them?"

"…The materia?" Cloud responded, looking back over his shoulder. Another nod was his answer, Genesis' eyes still on his work. "No. I…I opened the box and identified them all, but that was it. I haven't opened it since."

"That's probably for the best. It'd be a shame if you accidentally created a blizzard in your room, or—"

"I may have broken the bed frame," he admitted, a hand on the back of his neck. "And the bathroom doorknob. And I may have torn through—"

Genesis smirked just slightly, immediately cutting through some of the tension Cloud felt. "That's all expected. That's why you don't get moved into an actual apartment until you're under control—you  _are_  under control now, yes?" the general inquired, eyes finally meeting Cloud's once more.

"Um…kinda."

"Well, try not to destroy your room—it comes furnished, but they won't be replacing anything. It will come from your paycheck."

"Paycheck?" Cloud repeated, lighting up at the word.

That was a big question he hadn't gotten around to asking since he left the Army. He had been sending most of what little he had back home to help his mother, but hadn't received any compensation from SOLDIER so far for his time.

"Ask Kunsel."

Cloud bit back his growing frustration, this time opening the door. "Okay. I'll ask him then."

It didn't seem necessary to say more, or to say goodbye even—so he didn't. He just stepped out into the hall with a frown on his face, feeling entirely unsatisfied with how that meeting had gone. Given the circumstances, he was sure he should have been relieved to learn they wouldn't be working together directly...but he couldn't feel anything over the flood of disappointment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I wasn't planning an early update this week, but I ended up with more free time than expected today. I'm actually at the point where I think twice weekly updates will be a regular thing for the duration of the story. Thanks so much for all your continued support, it means a lot to me!

 

* * *

Kunsel had been pretty clear that it would take a day or two for the general to find him a suitable mentor—someone to oversee all of his training from now until he was deemed mission ready…from materia lessons to sword training to physical training. From VR missions to book work to shadowing actual missions—most of it sounded like 'boot camp' all over again, but one on one instead of in a group. Plus the added enhancements to adjust to as well. All of it was meant to prepare him for the day he'd be sent into the field as a full-fledged SOLDIER, on missions of his own...

A full week had passed though, and he still didn't have a mentor.

Cloud knocked on his friend's door, not entirely sure how he'd ended up there—he'd gone from pacing around his new apartment to trudging down the hall without much thought, his feet guiding him to the elevator instinctively. It only seemed natural to select the floor where Zack lived at that point…his friend always knew what to do.

The Second hadn't responded to the last message Cloud had sent, but it  _had_ been sent early in the morning by both of their standards. He wasn't even sure if Zack would be home, but it was worth checking—he'd been out on a mission for a while, and was due back any day now. Shuffling from inside the apartment sounded like a good indication he'd returned, but from the pace of it, he'd just rolled out of bed.

Uncharacteristically groggy eyes met his as the door swung open, the dark haired SOLDIER rubbing some of the sleep from them as he spoke. "Spike? It's like…6 in the morning," Zack mumbled, hands falling to his side. He already looked much more awake, a slightly confused grin spreading on his face. "If you want a re-match  _that_ bad, you gotta wait till 8 at least."

"You beat me  _once_ ," Cloud shot back, whacking Zack's shoulder as his friend let him inside. That ought to help wake him up. "And if you remember correctly, I still hold the record for wins between us."

"Hey, we're not talkin' about that, we're talkin' about how _I_  whooped your ass last time," the Second insisted, closing the door behind his friend. Cloud had already made his way over to Zack's couch, falling onto it as his friend stared after him with a hand on his hip. "You're not seriously here for a re-match, are you? Because I was only half-kidding about waiting till 8 for that. I just got back a couple hours ago."

"I don't even know why I'm here," Cloud admitted slowly, a bit guilty to learn he'd obviously interrupted some much needed sleep. "I've been sitting around for  _days..._ I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"…Didn't you report in to Gen the day I left?"

"Eight days ago as of today," the blond confirmed with a sigh.

"Annnnd he set you up with a mentor and got you on a training plan?" Zack guessed, frowning as Cloud shook his head. "That's weird."

"He said it'd take a couple days, but…" The words trailed off, Cloud still shaking his head dismally. "I don't know. It's been a lot more than that now."

"What've you been doing since I left?"

He slumped down further, arms folded across his stomach. "Glaring at training dummies with Kunsel."

_"Huh?"_

"Well, I don't know if he's been glaring, but  _I_ have—does he ever take his helmet off?"

"Slow down, Spike! You gotta let a dude wake up before you start asking serious life questions like that," Zack implored,  _almost_ completely straight-faced as he eyed his friend. He moved in to the couch, plopping down next to the blond. He looked at his younger friend from the corner of his eyes. "Kunsel doesn't mentor people."

"I know," Cloud said, looking equally baffled. "That was the first thing he told me when I started training with him—that he was just an information guy, and Genesis would have my real mentor ready in a day or two. He's been great about answering my questions, but…"

"Gen shoulda had one for you the first day—it's not  _that_ hard to pick," Zack muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Usually they pick someone out during the injections, that way you're ready to go whenever."

"Why didn't he?" the blond asked, looking at his friend helplessly.

"No idea,  _but_ …" Zack paused, his grin growing again as he met his friend's eyes. Cloud sank into the couch cushion at the look, wary of his friend's sudden bout of enthusiasm—it almost always ended with him in a headlock somehow. "How about we train together till he does? I'm in town for at least another week—Angeal put me on some late night raids, but that's no biggie. I'll have plenty of time in the day."

"I'm supposed to do materia work with Kunsel until—"

"Perfect! Do that with him, and I'll take care of the rest," the Second promised, slinging an arm around Cloud's shoulders when the blond didn't look convinced. "C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll get you set up on a SOLDIER's gym routine, and then we'll get back to doing sword work again. It's not like it'll be much longer till he finds you an actual mentor anyway—it'll be like I'm your  _temporary_ mentor, ya know?"

 _Temporary mentor..._ It actually sounded like a great idea, but he didn't want to get too excited yet. "Is it really okay? You're a Second, and I'm—"

"Nah, it's fine. I'll talk to Gen if he has a problem with it—and you'll still be working with a Third on the materia part, so why not? At most you'll get a few funny looks from the other Thirds, but they'll get over it."

"You really don't mind?" Cloud asked, frowning when his friend just laughed in response. "I'm serious! You've got plenty of other stuff—"

"Spike…I've always got time for you," his friend said, hopping off the couch. "Don't even worry about it."

"But—"

"You didn't mind taking up my time when you were in the Army."

"Because I didn't understand how crazy your schedule is," Cloud argued, knowing all too well now.

"It's not like I don't need to work out and train too—and it'll be even  _more_ of a workout now that you're a SOLDIER too," Zack assured him, hands back on his hip as he stared down. "But here's the thing—as your official temporary mentor, that means I'm in charge."

"…Okay."

"Good. Rule number one," the Second began, holding a finger up in the air as he spoke, "We don't start until after 8!"

Cloud arched an eyebrow. "You realize it's 8:30, right?"

"Hey, no back talk!"

"Is that rule number two?"

"Nah—rule number two," Zack said, holding up his second finger, "is that  _you_ have to use the blue chocobo for the duration of our arrangement!"

"…Fine," Cloud agreed begrudgingly, fighting off a smirk as Zack smiled down triumphantly.

* * *

The question had been bugging him since the day he met Kunsel, and every day they 'trained' together, the urge to just suck it up and ask grew. Zack calling it one of life's serious questions definitely amplified his curiosity, as did the way his friend laughed off the question when asked again. His time with Kunsel was always work related though—they weren't exactly friends. While Cloud liked his fellow Third well enough, he had no right to pry into the man's personal life.

Technically it  _could_  be considered a work related question.

"What's with the helmet?" he blurted out finally, unable to hold it back any longer.

"What do you mean?" Kunsel replied, shrugging. "It's standard issue."

"Yeah, but…you're the only one who wears it all the time. I don't even think Zack  _owns_  one."

"A lot of Seconds prefer not to wear them—it's great for scanning the field, but they say it blocks their peripheral when they're going in for an attack," Kunsel explained, another indifferent shrug. "Zack though, I think he just doesn't wanna mess up his hair."

Cloud ran a hand through his own haphazard spikes. "Can't say I blame him. I always hated my infantry helmet."

"Well, it's a good thing you're not in the infantry, then," Kunsel told him, a smirk below the line of his visor. The blond returned the small smile, feeling like the question had essentially been dodged—but he wasn't going to press it if Kunsel didn't want to explain himself. "Although at this rate, even  _I_ don't know what they're going to do with you."

_Ouch._

He probably deserved that blatant honesty…and at least Kunsel's words had been spoken with obvious concern. Cloud dragged a hand along his bracer, shaking his head as he eyed it. Another week had rolled by, and he still hadn't managed to use a single materia. It felt like the only progress he was making was with Zack—doing all the things that Third Classes weren't even expected to excel at. The hour long daily sessions with Kunsel had basically become a joke, where he showed up in the Third Class training hall and...well, glared at the materia training dummies until time was finally up.

"General Hewley said I'd probably be able to transfer classes if this didn't work out, but—"

"You're not failing on purpose, are you?" Kunsel cut in, and for some reason Cloud just imagined him arching an eyebrow under that helmet.

"No, I'm trying my best," the blond insisted, meaning every word. As comforting as it was to know he wouldn't just be released from SOLDIER entirely, he'd never get anywhere if he couldn't figure this much out at least. He needed to make it to First…to be in a position where his opinion counted for something. "I just…I don't know, it's not clicking. I can tell I have them equipped now, but…"  _You should be able to just do it_ wasn't particularly good instruction. He bit his lower lip, keeping that part of his thought to himself—it wasn't like it was Kunsel's fault that they were in this situation.

"Even Seconds need to know how to do  _something_ with materia."

Cloud slumped back against the wall, letting out a long sigh. "I know…I just…I don't know what I'm supposed to do. This isn't working."

Kunsel clamped a hand on Cloud's collarbone, patting the way he would have on the shoulder had it not been covered by a pauldron. "Hey, you'll get there. General Rhapsodos wouldn't have taken you if you weren't capable. I talked to him about it, and—"

His eyes went wide, shooting up from the ground that had captured their attention. "You talked to Genesis about me?"

"Well, yeah. This is ShinRa—there are reports for everything, including your training," Kunsel explained, his tone matter-of-fact.

It was downright depressing.

He already  _knew_ there would be reports, but he didn't realize they would literally sit down and have a nice chat about his lack of progress. It didn't help that  _he_ hadn't seen Genesis at all—the general hadn't popped up the same way he had so frequently during boot camp, and he actually found himself missing the man a lot more than he probably should have. To think that all Genesis was hearing about him now was just reports about how badly he was doing…He felt like a big enough failure all on his own—the last thing he wanted was for the general to think that as well.

Kunsel apparently noticed his long face, quickly jumping in to elaborate. "I get why he put us together to start…I know a lot about this place, and you had a plenty of questions. I'm no teacher though. If you're not getting it, it's probably just as much my fault."

"Yeah, but…" Cloud shook his head thoughtfully, not bothering to bring up the fact that he should have had a mentor by now— _again._

"It shouldn't be much longer," Kunsel reassured him, the same words he'd been offering on a daily basis. "The general's just been busy."

Being low on Genesis' priority list really wasn't helping his mood either, but at this point, it was hardly surprising.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think I'm making progress on the information hunt," the helmeted SOLDIER told him, his words finally getting Cloud to perk up where he stood. "Nothing solid yet, but I know I'm close. I talked to one of my First Class sources, and he said he didn't have access to the report."

"…Why is that a good thing?" the blond asked skeptically.

"Firsts usually have access to  _all_ mission reports—if access was restricted that much, this is big," he explained confidently. "I don't know what happened, but I  _do_ know who I need to talk to next."

Cloud just blinked. "Who?"

"I can't say—no one would tell me a thing if I started giving out names," Kunsel said apologetically. "But I'll let you know what I find out—feel free to keep digging around yourself though."

"I will," Cloud muttered, not sure he wanted to know how Kunsel already knew he'd been digging as well. It wasn't like he'd fared any better on his own hunt— _it's classified_ was apparently a massive understatement, which seemed ridiculous considering how basic his only remaining questions were.

"Yo, Spike! We were supposed to meet twenty minutes ago!"

Cloud jumped from the wall as he heard his friend's familiar voice, guilt settling in immediately. "Sorry, I lost track of time!"

"Hey, no biggie," Zack replied, strolling over to the two with a big smile. He gave Kunsel a pat on the back before turning his eyes to Cloud. "Still wanna train today, or do you guys need more time?"

Kunsel looked between the two, and then back once more. "You two train together?"

Zack arched an eyebrow, his big smile turning into a smirk. "What, the man who knows everything didn't already know?"

Cloud narrowed his eyes at his friend, a quick hand on the back of his neck as his gaze shifted to Kunsel. "Um, sorry. I meant to tell you—Zack's been helping me with some stuff in my free time."

For some reason the drawn out pause made Cloud nervous, though Zack's reassuring smile was at least somewhat helpful.

"You don't have to explain anything to me—it's not like it's against any regs," Kunsel said, though his tone was wary. "I'm not sure it's a great idea though. Most Thirds use single handed swords, and—"

"And Spike here prefers something bigger," Zack interjected, his quick wink drawing out an unwanted blush on Cloud's face. The blond punched his friend lightly in the shoulder. "What? It's true! We tried the one handed thing, but it wasn't working out for his style."

" _Your_  style, you mean," Kunsel corrected slowly. "That's why you're supposed to have a mentor from our class—to go over materia  _and_ sword work with you. It's a lot easier to—"

"Aw, c'mon Kuns! That's something you learn for show," Zack insisted playfully. "Gen's just flashy, and—"

"Enhancing our blades with an element increases our attack power," Kunsel argued, only slightly less playful than Zack had been. "If a sword is encompassed in a strong fire spell, obviously it'll do more damage than—"

"That's possible?" It was Cloud's turn to cut in, intrigued by the idea of it. Both Zack and Kunsel gave a nod—Zack's begrudging, Kunsel's proud. "What's that have to do with single handed swords?"

"It's a guided spell…and it's not the easiest. Even most Thirds can't do it, to be honest. It requires a special blade with runes on it, and you run your hand along the flat edge during the cast," Kunsel explained, shaking his head as Zack rolled his eyes. "But you need the kind of sword that only General Rhapsodos can requisition—not as fancy as his, but custom made still and single handed only."

An image shot through Cloud's mind, and he couldn't help but smile—maybe Kunsel was right. Maybe only single handed swords were custom made for that purpose. That didn't mean he couldn't imagine accomplishing something like that with a two handed sword though.

If only he could  _use_ materia.

"Get that goofy grin off your face, Spike!" Zack demanded, feigning offense. "I thought we had somethin' special going! You're doing way better with the broadsword."

"He's the smallest SOLDIER—"

"Doesn't mean he can't also become one of the strongest," Zack cut in, his complete certainty doing wonders for Cloud' self-confidence. "Relax, Kuns. It's not like I'm trying to steal him from you guys—when he has a mentor, he won't have time to train with me anyway. In the meantime it's not right to have him sitting on his hands all day waiting."

"You know…" Kunsel paused, a thoughtful hand on his chin. "You two work well together?" he asked, almost expectantly. They both nodded like it was a silly question. "Cloud, did you know Zack is the best of all Seconds in—"

"Whoa, whoa!" Zack waved his hands and shook his head quickly. "I don't mind helping with that too, but I don't think Gen would—"

"Since when do you care what I think?"

All three men looked toward the door to the training room, surprised to see Genesis had stepped inside at some point—his arms were crossed, and he was leaning comfortably against the far wall.

"Since I'm pretty sure Angeal would be on your side about this one," Zack responded, shrugging noncommittally. "And I don't want Spike getting any more shit for training with a Second. Enough people have been giving him crap about it already."

Cloud just rolled his eyes, not really caring about any of that. It turned out  _a few Thirds might give you funny looks_ actually meant a few Thirds might be so offended that they made nasty comments, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. In a way, it was a lot easier to deal with than the crap he'd taken in the Army—instead of being pestered about his hair and size, he was being scrutinized about working with a Second when he was a Third.

Luckily it seemed like Zack really did get along with basically everyone, because  _most_  the Thirds he'd met didn't care—it was just a select few who looked down on him for it. He'd mostly learned to stop caring about what they thought already, deciding they weren't worth the effort. As much as he and Zack goofed around, he really was learning a lot from training with his friend...Without Zack, he would have wasted  _another_ week sitting around outside of his 'materia lessons' with Kunsel.

"So you find it acceptable to train him with a sword, but not with materia?" Genesis asked, moving swiftly away from the wall and toward the three. Cloud's full attention was on the man, like always, a tremor of nerves running through him with every step. "Kunsel has a point—you  _are_ the most proficient materia user in the Second Class. Perhaps you  _would_  be a suitable mentor."

"Gen, don't be an ass," Zack said casually, his words widening Cloud's eyes but not drawing their attention off the general. "I've only been helping him for a few days, and if you'da just hurried up and gotten him a mentor in the first place, this wouldn't even be an issue."

"My schedule is set in stone two weeks in advance—only a legitimate emergency can change that, and training a single recruit hardly counts as an emergency," Genesis told him, eyes finally finding Cloud's. "I'll be mentoring you personally."

The three responses were staggered, each shocked in their own way, but each an echo of the same word. " _What_?"

Hadn't he said..."I thought you were too busy to train—"

"I am, but as Kunsel kindly reminded me,  _you_  are a special case. A full two weeks with mako and you haven't produced a single spell? If I'd realized you were  _that_ inept, I would have let Angeal have you—it's too late for that now though. I fought hard to get you, and it just won't do for you to fail," Genesis concluded with a shake of his head.

Cloud's eyes had narrowed midway through that statement, hurt and offended by every word—he clenched his fist, glad that he didn't have a fire materia in his hand this time because clearly the general wasn't in such a forgiving mood. It was just cruel though, and all wrong.

Why was Genesis acting this way? The last time they had spoken was filled with a lecture and blunt words too…

This didn't feel like the same person who had poked in on his boot camp training time and time again, making sure he made it even when he wasn't doing so well with materia—the same person who, however bizarrely, had made him realize that he needed to stop reliving hypothetical variations of the past in order to move forward. The same person who offered to loan him books, and attempted to visit him while he was sick after his mako treatments.

This was more like the person he'd originally met—the one who instantly wanted nothing to do with him.

He struggled to hold his ground, not liking this version of the general very much. "I've read  _every_ book on materia theory, and I've—"

"I'm not impressed that you can read," Genesis told him, waving a hand to cut off the interjection Zack was about to throw in. "I'll be impressed when you can light one of the inflammable targets."

"That's not even possible," Zack said, rolling his eyes in what looked like a halfhearted attempt to ease the rocky feeling in the room.

It didn't work.

"Kunsel will have told you by now that most Thirds specialize in certain types of materia," Genesis continued, ignoring the sigh that escaped Zack's lips. "Why don't you have a single elemental materia equipped in your bracer?"

Cloud blinked, not really sure how the general even  _knew_ which he had equipped. It wasn't like it was visible…he'd been hoping to work on restore and barrier spells first. "I wanted to—"

"I should rephrase—why don't you have a fire materia equipped?" the man pressed, stepping closer like the other two SOLDIERs weren't even present. They stepped away as the general towered over the blond, but Cloud remained stubbornly rooted in his position. "You'll master the entire box you were given eventually, but you need to begin with what you know—didn't we discuss this once before? Surely it's common sense, even if it's not in any of the texts you read."

A strange vibration tore through Cloud as he readied a response, frustrated and embarrassed that Genesis would lecture him so harshly—right in front of Zack and Kunsel, too.

"I don't  _want_  to use that materia," Cloud said as calmly as possible, his whole body tensing.

It all sounded well and good—warmth and light—but that was when he was standing toe to toe with Genesis, experiencing those very sensations. When he was alone using a fire materia…he shuddered, a flash of green catching his eye as he blinked. His entire body was tingling as they opened, and he let out a startled gasp as he lost himself in the feel of it.

"You two—out," Genesis ordered, his voice softening but no less demanding.

He still hadn't looked away, but Kunsel and Zack seemed to take a hint. A friendly hand patted him on the back, and he finally snapped his gaze away from Genesis just long enough to catch a big smile. "Good job, bud."

Cloud just nodded, unable to speak—unsure what to say even. He turned his attention back to Genesis, only vaguely aware of anything other than the energy around him, washing over him in the most peculiar way. It was exhilarating and alarming all at once, but for some reason he felt like it was…safe, somehow.

"It's a physical barrier," Genesis informed him, looking him up and down studiously. "Not a bad one either—it was only readily apparent when you cast. I can still see it, but to an unenhanced it would be invisible."

Another gasp worked its way out of him as the magic began to dissipate, the tingling turning into a prickly feeling before fading into nothing. "That was…"

"Hmm, it wore off quickly—likely because your lack of focus on what you were doing," the general stated, a hand on his chin. "Tell me, were you frustrated again, or was it something different this time?"

"…I was embarrassed too," Cloud admitted, clenching and unclenching a fist as he tried to grasp the aftershocks of the magic.

"Embarrassed?"

"You're kind of…mean. Right in front of them, too," the blond told his general, putting his  _orders_ to the test. How assertive did Genesis really want him to be, particularly if it meant questioning the man himself?

He didn't seem bothered at least. "I wasn't being mean, I was saying what was necessary."

"…You were trying to frustrate me again?"

This just wasn't going to work. He'd been so disappointed when he originally found out he wouldn't be working with Genesis, but now...now that he'd blown his chance to stay away, playing right into this man's twisted game  _again_...This wasn't what he wanted either. Cloud put a hand on the back of his neck, letting his eyes fall to the floor.

If this was the only way he could use materia, he didn't want to use it at all—he'd just have to find another way to make First someday.

A gentle finger was on his chin a moment later, tilting his head back up in a hurry. By the time their eyes met again, another jolt was tearing through him, almost as peculiarly as the barrier that had swept over him moments before.

"I have no desire to frustrate you."

"Then what—"

"What is Zack to you?"

"What's it matter?" Cloud asked, frowning at the subject change.

"Perhaps I'm the one who's been frustrated," Genesis admitted, retracting his hand carefully.

"…About what?" he pressed, puzzled by the direction the conversation had taken. Until he thought about it more—this was coming from the same man who had been openly offended by the very  _idea_ of Cloud wanting to join Second Class. He narrowed his eyes curiously, growing uncomfortable under the silent stare Genesis had locked on him. "Is this because he's a Second? Because if you didn't want me working with him, you could have just said that."

The general raised both brows. "I would've thought it was obvious—working with a Second won't get you far in Third. It's bad enough ShinRa allows the public to believe Thirds are the weakest SOLDIER has to offer—I don't need any of my men answering to Seconds as if it's true."

"Then maybe you should've found me a mentor sooner," Cloud responded, completely defeated. What was he supposed to have been doing all this time? If Genesis had just checked in once, he would've seen firsthand that training with Kunsel wasn't going well.

"What else were you feeling this time?" the general asked, his gaze turning serious. "I'm not referring to your emotions—before the cast went off you must have felt something else mingled with your frustration and embarrassment."

Cloud knew what he meant right away, but he had to think more before he could even begin to describe it…The sensation wasn't something he was really familiar with, only comparing to the rapid up and downs he tended to feel around Genesis in general—it could have easily been spurred by the man rather than the materia, he realized, unsure if it were a coincidence or not.

"It tingled…all over," he tried, knowing that he had to at least  _try_ to answer even if he weren't sure it mattered.

"What tingled?"

"My entire body."

"Was it your body?" Genesis pressed, raising an eyebrow, "Or was it something else? Something  _there,_ that's always been present…something you're deeply familiar with because it's an innate part of your being, but something you can't quite grasp?"

"I thought it was the mako," Cloud confessed, shifting where he stood. Truthfully, he  _had_ been feeling something odd since his injections, so it only made sense that it would be the mako.

Genesis scoffed, shaking his head as he eyed Cloud pointedly. "What is mako?"

"Um…"

"For someone who's read  _every book_ , I would have expected that to be the easiest question, Blondie. Let me rephrase, then…what is materia?"

"Condensed mako."

"More specific, Blondie."

"I'm not really sure," he replied hesitantly.

"Can a materia crystallize naturally?"

"I thought all our materia was manufactured."

"Most commonly used materia is, but that doesn't mean…Nevermind," Genesis muttered, letting out another drawn out sigh. "I'll get you a proper book to read. In the meantime…" He paused, snatching Cloud's wrist and popping out his restore materia. He slid in a different green orb instead, and Cloud cringed immediately. Fire. Genesis just nodded when he saw the question lighting up in Cloud's eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Cloud answered without a second thought, unsure why but unable to deny it.

"Remember the light…the warmth," Genesis told him quietly, brushing two gloved fingers over each of Cloud's eyes—they closed at the light touch, and he left them that way when the hand was removed.

Genesis shifted behind him, Cloud listening carefully to every movement. He allowed himself to be turned, familiar enough with the room to know he was now facing the materia practice dummies. A gentle hand was on his shoulder as another trailed down his right arm, settling on his wrist and lifting it up toward the target.

"Palm open," he whispered, his breath warm on Cloud's ear as he stepped in closer. Cloud's heart was racing anxiously, and he wasn't quite sure if the heat he was feeling was from the materia, or from the man behind him, invading his space in a way he wasn't accustomed to allowing anyone other than Zack. Regardless, he obeyed, lifting his open palm in the direction of the dummies. "Relax…"

Maybe it was the guiding hand or maybe it was the soothing tone—Cloud wasn't sure. All he knew was, it had never been easier to relax than it was in that moment.

"Can you feel the heat?" Genesis muttered, so close still that all Cloud could manage was a barely-coherent noise in response that was intended to come out as a  _yes._ "Can you feel anything else…something that you can't quite identify?" He nodded when he felt it, not daring to attempt speaking again—it was like there was an energy inside him, coursing through his veins…mako, maybe.  _Something_ was flowing through him, and whatever it was, it was simple to focus on it with his heightened senses and Genesis' calm, guiding words in his ears. "Good. It's there, it's tangible—I want you to control it now. Guide it. You can feel it, can't you? The mako is already drawing it toward the materia. You just need to use your mind now—focus on what you want to achieve with that connection."

Now it was a distinct heat, easily identifiable—yes, there was a warm body pressed to his back, a firm grip on his wrist, but he was becoming unaware of that now as this new heat scorched through him. His entire body was pulsing, but it wasn't alarming—it was safe because he was in control of it, completely. Once he realized it, the slight involuntary trembles he'd been succumbing to came to a stop, and—

" _Now_."

The hushed order was an echo of his own thoughts, bolstering them as they ignited. His eyes shot open as he felt a shock inside himself, immediately going wide as he realized the powerful blast hitting the materia practice dummies was his own.

"Again," Genesis urged, this time dropping his grip from Cloud entirely, though he still remained directly behind the blond.

It was a lot easier to manage the second time.

His eyes flickered open again after the second cast, and he could barely believe what he'd just done—he  _didn't_ have to be completely distraught to use materia…For some reason that realization was overwhelming, and he found himself stealing a look up at Genesis, unsure what he was supposed to do next.

Genesis was already staring down at him. "Again?" he suggested, this time a question rather than demand.

Cloud smiled up without reserve. If things could just stay like this...maybe Genesis was the kind of man he could work with after all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, thanks again for all the support, I really appreciate it! See y'all next week ~

 

* * *

Cloud grumbled to himself as he rolled out of bed, awoken by the sound of someone knocking on his door before his alarm had even gone off...He  _almost_  missed the days when he didn't have enhanced hearing, knowing he would've slept through it without a problem back then. By the time he answered the door he was still in a sleepy haze, confused to find another Third Class SOLDIER standing there—the man had a helmet on his head, but unlike Kunsel, there was no hint of a smile below the visor.

"You were supposed to meet me in the gym 30 minutes ago—you're off to a bad start, Strife," the SOLDIER told him, shaking his head sternly. "The general chose me personally to oversee your training, and I'm not going to let you slack off already!"

"Wait,  _what?"_ The blond had to do a double take, rubbing some of the sleep out of his eyes as he tried to figure out what was happening—last he checked, Genesis had been very clear…

_"Meet me in my office at 0900 hours—we'll discuss your training regime then."_

Granted, he  _had_ been pretty exhausted from his first consecutive materia uses ever when they'd made those arrangements…There was no way he'd dreamed up the  _whole_  thing. Not in such vivid detail—he could even remember the involuntary smile on his own face when the general offered him one last smirk on the way out.

"I guess I can't blame you—you  _have_ been training with Zack, and Seconds aren't the most reliable," the SOLDIER rambled, most of his words going completely over Cloud's head. "That's something we can fix though. In Third, we're not as—"

"Who are you?" Cloud interjected, suddenly feeling much more awake—he wasn't entirely sure what this guy was talking about, but he wasn't about to let someone show up at  _his_ door and talk about his best friend.

"I'm your mentor," the older man responded, and while he didn't outright say  _duh,_ it was obvious in his tone. "Aaron Evans—the best healer Third Class has to offer!"

"There's been some kind of mistake."

"There's no mistake. Don't worry about it, if you just fess up to oversleeping, I'll let it slide since it's our first day. I know you had a meeting with the general yesterday, and I know he told you about me," the SOLDIER asserted, his offer more than reasonable—except that he was completely wrong. "And I  _also_ know he told you to meet me in the gym this morning."

"No, he told me that  _he_ was going to be training me," Cloud insisted adamantly, ignoring the snort he got in response. "I'm sure if we just go talk to him—"

"You're better off just admitting you overslept, kid," Evans responded with a loud chuckle. "The general doesn't like to repeat himself."

"Too bad," he practically snapped, growing fed up with this already. "If that's what he said, he's going to have to say it again."

"Okay. If you want to go up and ask him to tell you the same thing twice, be my guest—I'll go with you and wait outside the office. I'm adding at least one extra lap for every minute you spend wasting our time though."

Cloud just raised an eyebrow—maybe when he was in the infantry he would've taken a threat like that seriously, but as a SOLDIER it was hardly an issue. "I'm going to get in my uniform first," he said, trying to calm back down and be as polite as possible despite the rocky start to their conversation.

Whatever was happening, it probably wasn't this guy's fault.

"PT clothes," the other SOLDIER corrected, raising a finger and shaking it at Cloud like a warning.

"Okay," the blond agreed, not seeing the point in arguing any further—whether he was right or wrong, he'd still probably be doing physical training first thing. He shifted awkwardly in the doorway, forcing himself to continue his attempt at being polite. "Did you want to…come in and wait?"

"I don't mind waiting out here. Time's ticking!"

"Okay," he muttered, waiting until Evans stepped back to close the door.

He ran a hand through his messy hair on the way back to his bedroom, groaning as he shut off the alarm—a reminder that he could have spent the last five minutes comfortably in bed instead of dealing with…whatever it was he was dealing with right now. When the beeping stopped,  _he_ had to stop too, just to remind himself how sure he was about this—how sure he was about Genesis' proclamation the previous day.

Now that he was really processing it though…it was hard to shake the possibility that Evans really  _would_ be his mentor, and that he'd really just made the worst first impression imaginable. What if this was another prime example of the many ups and downs of Genesis Rhapsodos? If their past conversations were any indication, the man may have changed his mind entirely by now—or worse, maybe he'd claim Cloud just misinterpreted his words again.

The thought slowed him down as he changed, dampening his mood further as he slid his running shoes on and returned to the door.

Evans was still waiting, leaning comfortably against the wall outside the door. "Are you sure you don't wanna just head to the gym? Offer still stands, we can forget all this if you just come clean."

"I really need to talk to him," Cloud replied—regardless of what was happening, that much was true.

Evans gave him a nod, biting back any other remarks as they got into the elevator and headed up to the office floor. His 'mentor' gave him one last opportunity to turn back as they stood outside Genesis' office door, but he respectfully declined before knocking on the door with determination.

If this ended up being just another weird twist or game, he was ready to put his foot down about it.

A familiar buzzing noise hit his ears, and he tried to ignore how unsteady his hand had become as he opened the door—no matter  _what_ , he was going to get through this without showing any nerves and without having any stray thoughts.

"You're early," Genesis noted, eyes not leaving his computer as he spoke. He continued working for a moment, typing out a few lines before turning the full brunt of his stare on Cloud. "And...in PT gear. I know I said your shorts were adorable, but I would have thought it obvious I meant for you to be in your standard uniform. This is just a meeting—unless you intend to run laps around my office while we talk?"

"Why did someone named Aaron Evans show up at my door fifteen minutes ago and accuse me of being late for physical training?" Cloud shot back, proud of himself for getting the question out almost as firmly as he intended. He stood in front of his usual seat, meeting the general's eyes evenly. "He says he's my mentor."

"Ah, yes," the redhead muttered, his eyes flickering with amusement as the blond finally took a seat. "Well, he was the man I intended to appoint as your mentor before I decided to take you on as a student myself."

"And you…forgot to tell him?" Cloud guessed…or maybe hoped—it was hard to tell exactly  _how_ he was supposed to feel about this.

"No. I forgot to give you the option," Genesis corrected, folding his hands on the desk. "I am simultaneously the best and worst option you have as a mentor. Aaron is something in the middle—he won't be as suited to your particular skillset, but he  _will_ have more time to devote to you."

"It doesn't matter how much time he has—he won't understand it the way you do," Cloud said insistently, shaking his head with every word. "It has to be you."

"No, it doesn't—you used magic freely just yesterday. The technical aspects may be a bit difficult to—"

" _A bit?_ I don't understand any of it still! Maybe I used it, but none of it makes sense—why can't I just cast like everyone else?"

"I could answer that for you and send you on your way," Genesis told him carefully.

Cloud opened his mouth, but closed it promptly as he fixated his stare on the pen-holder on Genesis' desk. It had always been there…but it had never been quite so mesmerizing. "Are you trying to back out of this?"

"No. I already attempted to keep my distance—I already tried to let you work it out on your own and with other SOLDIERs. Clearly I'm the most suitable mentor for you at this point."

His eyes snapped back up, filled with confusion. "Then there's really no option—it has to be you," he repeated firmly.

"The choice is yours nonetheless."

"…You decided on a whim yesterday, didn't you?" Cloud accused, narrowing his eyes just slightly as Genesis blinked innocently. "You showed up planning to tell me you'd picked someone, and you changed your mind. Then you forgot to tell him."

"And why would I change my mind on a whim?"

"I was hoping  _you'd_  tell  _me_."

"You're very observant, aren't you?" the redhead said with a drawn out sigh, a smile betraying his otherwise serious expression. "Working with you may be more fun than I'd originally anticipated. But really—giving you the option does seem fair, even if you'd be insane not to pick me."

"He's waiting outside the office, you know," Cloud informed him, smiling back when Genesis chuckled softly. "He thinks you're lecturing me."

"I can do that."

" _Or_ you can tell him that I wasn't lying about you choosing me," he suggested, trying his best not to scowl.

Genesis seemed to consider it. "I suppose I'll have to tell him either way."

"I hope so—he says I have to run an extra lap per minute I'm in here otherwise."

The redhead's eyes swept him up and down briefly, still thoroughly entertained by the whole situation. "Perhaps you should—you're in your PT gear anyway. Why don't you go and do whatever your usual fitness routine is while I speak with him and take care of some work? You really  _are_ earlier than I expected, and believe it or not, your training isn't particularly high on my to-do list today."

Cloud frowned at that, but rose to his feet without protest. It wasn't like he was in a position to disagree—and really, this was what he had chosen. Apparently. "I'll send him in."

"Don't forget to shower before returning—it's not just sweaty cadets I don't allow into my office," Genesis warned, winking when Cloud shot him a perturbed glance.

He turned his face toward the door quickly, hoping the redhead hadn't caught the blush spreading on his face.

Evans was waiting as expected, a surprisingly good natured smile already on his face. "So?"

"He wants to talk to you," Cloud replied, smiling back as Evans' mouth hung open slightly. "It sounds like there was some kind of miscommunication."

The other Third seemed baffled, but stepped inside the office before Cloud allowed the door to close. He didn't waste any time getting back to the elevator, hoping to be long gone before  _that_  conversation ended—hoping that he'd be out of the gym fast too, in case Evans happened to turn up. Something told him his would-be-mentor would have questions for him, and he didn't really have any answers yet.

Genesis had really intended to place him with someone else.

Maybe the redhead hadn't officially admitted it, but he may as well have—the thought alone was disheartening, and Cloud quickly began stretching out for his run in an attempt to distract himself from it. Whatever Genesis had intended…he obviously changed his mind, so it didn't matter.

It wasn't until Cloud was midway through his third lap that the questions started piling up too high, weighing him down until he came to a complete halt.

Why  _had_  he changed his mind?

Cloud still wasn't exactly sure how long Genesis had been standing there while he was talking with Zack and Kunsel the previous day, but nothing about that conversation stood out. Sure, the general had been a bit put off by the thought of him working with a Second, but…what did that have to do with his mentor selection? Placing him with  _any_ Third would have solved that 'problem', probably a lot more easily too.

There wasn't even a single hypothetical answer that came to mind, and as two SOLDIERs ran past him, he realized standing around wouldn't help. He continued his run, knowing full well that while he hadn't been given a time limit, he'd still be hearing about it if he took  _too_ long to complete his workout.

…Was this the first time Genesis had changed his mind about this on a whim?

He tried to shrug it off as he continued his workout, sliding on an extra ten pounds more than usual before laying down on the bench press—he wanted to add more, but technically he was supposed to have a spotter for this. Zack had set him up with a strenuous routine, and joined him most mornings...but they hadn't made plans this time since Cloud was supposed to be meeting with Genesis.

There were plenty of other SOLDIERs around anyway, if he happened to need a hand. The questions on his mind were more important than his workout for now—he couldn't shake the feeling this  _wasn't_ the first time Genesis had up and changed his mind about this. About  _him._

That day…His mind drifted back to the day he'd officially been accepted into SOLDIER—to Genesis' words about trying a new approach and personally overseeing his training. A week and a half later that suddenly meant reading the reports Kunsel would have to file rather than actually being involved in any way.

What had gone wrong then…but was different now?

By the time he was done with his workout, he still didn't have any solid answers—only more questions, really. And he intended to ask them too…if he couldn't work up the nerve to get it all out today, it sounded like it wouldn't be his last opportunity to find out more.

He took a quick shower after returning to his room, changing into his uniform with the same speed he had the first day Genesis had brought him up to the office floor—this time he remembered his gloves though, and quickly pocketed his own fire materia. Something told him that today would be different…that they would either talk or get into a  _real_ lesson…but either way he preferred to have his own with him.

This time his knock on the office door was more hesitant than the first, though the door was buzzed open much faster. A single deep breath carried him inside, his eyes skittering across the floor before trailing up the desk and meeting…his mentor's?

Something about thinking of Genesis as such was oddly exhilarating, solidifying the sometimes odd tensions between them into something…definable. Even if he  _never_ truly understood the man or learned the answers to any of his questions, at least he knew that much.

Barring another sudden mind changing.

"Is this…a bad time still?" Cloud asked tentatively, noticing the way Genesis was continually glancing over at his computer.

"Well, since you're already aware of how sudden this arrangement is…truthfully, I have quite a lot of catching up to do today. I'm convinced it's a conspiracy—nearly half my men are due for performance evaluations this month!" Genesis said, scoffing at the very idea of it.

"Why would that be a conspiracy?"

The redhead narrowed his eyes at his computer screen. "I've been doing this for  _years—_ I've never had more than a handful of men pop up for evaluation in a single month. This is clearly Sephiroth's doing—he tried to tell me it was all at Lazard's request, but I assume it's his way of getting back at me for a  _few_ overdue mission reports. Really…if he thinks this will get me to do them any faster, he's in for a rude awakening."

Cloud just blinked, not exactly sure how to react to that—it was obvious how serious Genesis was being, but it all sounded so  _new_. Genesis had never spoken so… _casually_ to him before. Between that thought and the man's words, he couldn't help laughing quietly in his seat.

"Are you laughing at me?" Genesis asked, his tone almost  _too_ sharp as his eyes snapped back to Cloud's. The words didn't startle the blond nearly as much as usual, and he was unable to wipe the smile off his face—but he  _did_ manage to bite back any further laughter. "I was thinking it would take at  _least_ a week before you lightened up enough to laugh around me—longer to laugh  _at_ me. I suppose that means we're off to a good start, Blondie."

"…But we haven't started anything," Cloud replied, that same smile shifting into a small frown. "You said we were going to talk about—"

"Yes, your training regime. I suppose we'll do the standard things—materia lessons will take up the bulk of our mornings I suspect, but we should be able to fit in some sword training later in the afternoon. I'll schedule time in the VR on days when I don't have meetings," Genesis said, nodding at his own list. His eyes were already back on the computer, typing away as he continued, "The tricky part will be keeping you busy while I'm away. I'll still be in the rotation for missions, of course."

He slumped a little in his seat, not quite sure about that list. "Um…you basically just ran down the same schedule I've already been doing, and that routine didn't—"

"You can actually use materia when I'm with you, yes?" the redhead asked, arching an eyebrow as he looked to Cloud. He nodded his head slowly. "Then our sessions will be different—you'll actually be productive during them. Once you can cast regularly, it won't just be a matter of using materia or practicing with different types—you need to learn to guide your spells, gauge their size and potency. A firaga can appear as contained as a simple fire spell if it's cast appropriately."

His eyes grew wide, filling with interest—that was something he'd never considered. "Really?"

"Of course," the general responded simply. "I imagine it will only take a few days to truly get you past this mental block you seem to have fallen into—then a few more to start increasing your efficiency to an appropriate level per cast. Then we can get into the specifics."

"When do I get my own sword?" he inquired, remembering Kunsel mentioning that as well—all his practice with Zack had been with a training sword rather than anything was actually  _his._ Supposedly the company would put out for his first sword though…after that any care, upgrade, or replacement costs would come from his own pocket.

"I'll put in the requisition order once we've determined what suits you best."

"…Does it have to be a one handed sword?"

"I use a single handed sword," Genesis answered shortly. "As do most Thirds. There  _are_ different types of single handed swords though."

"Oh," Cloud mumbled, trying not to frown. It didn't seem like the right time to press this particular issue—instead he focused more on their discussion. On what was going to happen next. "What about PT?"

Genesis hummed thoughtfully. "Do you feel like you've settled into a good routine?"

He nodded. "Zack started me on the same routine Angeal had him on after joining SOLDIER."

"I'll set you up on a new routine," the redhead decided quickly, "and then let you continue to do that alone most mornings. I could use the time to catch up on whatever ridiculous paperwork Sephiroth throws in my direction next."

"Okay," Cloud agreed, the frown finally settling onto his face.

"Don't look so disappointed—I'll check in on you when you hit a plateau and get you started on a new regime as needed."

"I'm not disappointed."

Genesis fixed the blond with his full attention, staring pointedly for a long moment before speaking. "I can see the way you dropped your gaze—the way you shifted in your chair. Not to mention the look on your face. We're going to be spending a lot of time together—it only makes sense to make it as painless as possible. Speak up while you can."

"…I've been trying to add on more muscle, but when I'm in the gym alone…I can't up my lifting limit because I don't have a spotter," he explained quickly.

Genesis just nodded his head at that. "I can see to it that you have a spotter on mornings when I can't be there."

"I only really need someone on days when Zack's out of town."

"I'll take care of it—don't worry about whatever routine he had you on," the redhead reiterated, resuming his typing.

Again Cloud frowned, grateful the man was looking away this time. "Um…Genesis?"

"Hm?"

_Speak up while you can…_ He felt compelled to heed those words, too many questions still on his mind. "Why'd you change your mind about mentoring me?"

"I've never had a student before," the general revealed quietly, his quick key strokes tapering off into slow taps. "I've never wanted one either. I prefer to think I have better things to do—on most days I actually do."

"You didn't answer the question," Cloud noted, his heart sinking rapidly.

"No, I suppose I didn't." Genesis stopped working entirely, his eyes shifting over to meet Cloud's. "The truth is, as frustrating as it may be to deal with you on occasion, I still find myself intrigued by what happened to you—it's only natural that I'd be curious to see how you progress as well."

"So it's nothing to do with…me. Just what I did?"

"I would argue that it's one in the same. What you did wasn't something  _anyone_ would have been able to manage—most men would have died in your place, materia in hand."

"But…I thought everyone has  _some_ mana, even if they don't know how to access it."

"And your point?"

"Wouldn't they have done the same thing as me if they were…in that situation?" he asked, trying his best to make the words sound as removed as possible…it still didn't quite feel that way, but he didn't want to dwell on that right now.

"No. They may have tried, but I sincerely doubt anything would have happened," Genesis told him. "The specifics of that will be a part of our lessons though."

"Starting…today?" he asked hopefully, perking up in his chair again.

"Tomorrow," the redhead answered with a small frown, deflating Cloud's growing enthusiasm with ease. "I have three meetings, and—" A knock on the door cut the general off promptly, his face almost apologetic as he looked into the blond's eyes once more. "I have men stopping by for their evaluations. Why don't we meet in the Third Class training hall around 0900 hours tomorrow? That should give you time to do your physical training beforehand."

"You just said you wanted to start me on a new routine."

"I suppose one more day on your current plan won't be an issue," Genesis said with a short sigh. "Now, I don't intend to be rude, but I do need to ask you to leave. I'll make sure I have plenty of time for a proper lesson tomorrow."

Cloud nodded his head, trying to keep his expression neutral as he stood up. It wasn't like this was the first time he'd wasted a day without training—what was one more? A big disappointment, but...

"Blondie." He spun around midway to the door, Genesis' stare piercing him where he stood. "Last chance—it's not too late to assign you to someone else, but it will be if you leave now without asking."

"I want  _you_ ," Cloud said very clearly. His own words made his eyes go wide, a blush creeping back to his face as the general quirked an eyebrow. "You're the only one who understands," he clarified, dropping his gaze again.

"Yes, I suppose I am." He looked back up in time to catch the smile forming on Genesis' face before it faded entirely. "Why don't you swing back around lunch time?"

"…I thought we weren't training today?"

"No, but I assume you plan to eat at some point," Genesis remarked, a finger tapping on his desk as he eyed Cloud. He would have thought the man was growing impatient, but nothing about his demeanor indicated it. "It may be a good opportunity for us to talk more, since our time was cut short this morning."

"About training?" Cloud pressed, confused by the thought—what else was there to say  _about_ training before they actually did any?

"No," Genesis responded, the smirk creeping back onto his face. "You don't get invited to lunch often, do you?"

His eyes went wide at the question, but he tried not to show how startled he was otherwise. "…How'd you guess?"

Judging by the way Genesis raised both brows, the question hadn't come out quite as casually as he'd hoped. "Because you are  _terrible_ at accepting," the redhead informed him,  _tsking_ as Cloud's mouth hung open just slightly. "If we're doing this, we're going to be spending a lot of time together—as I already told you, it only makes sense to make it as painless as possible. I'd like to get to know my student better—it would be beneficial for our lessons."

"That makes sense," Cloud agreed, relatively sure  _that_ didn't come out as casually as he'd hoped either—he tried to contain his rapidly growing smile at least.

"If you go now, I should be done with this nonsense in time for a late lunch—I'll let you know when to return."

"Let me know?"

"Did you think your PHS had a private number?"

"No, but—"

"Hold the door open for whoever it is that's waiting outside," Genesis told him, his smirk softening as Cloud frowned. "I'll let you know when to come back."

He didn't bother trying to say anything this time—just another nod as he turned and gratefully hid his red face from his mentor.

* * *

How long had he been a SOLDIER? Cloud considered the question as he anxiously made his way back to Genesis' office, having spent the last several hours trying to think about  _anything_ other than his lunch plans—Zack wasn't around, and he finally realized that…it had basically been a month since boot camp now, and he hadn't really made any other SOLDIER friends yet.

At least his new apartment had a TV, and with his new funds he'd been able to buy some stuff to keep himself busy—movies and games mostly. And he definitely had plenty of reading to do…including the book Genesis had lent him.

None of that had really helped keep his impending lunch plans off his mind though.

It was one of the rare few times he wished he could be more social—he'd have to try to be nicer the next time someone pounded on his door first thing in the morning. Granted, he sincerely doubted  _anyone_  would have been able to keep him distracted from his worries and thoughts. Maybe not even Zack. The thought of going to spend time with Genesis…unofficial time that had nothing specifically to do with training or SOLDIER? It was exciting and terrifying all at once.

What if he said the wrong thing? One wrong word could easily set them back on the wrong track...He tried to push that thought aside, knocking on the office door with a shaky hand. When that thought was off his mind though, another popped up in its place.

What if he had  _nothing_ to say? It wasn't like he was the best conversationalist. What did Genesis even mean,  _get to know my student better?_ There really wasn't much to know. Life prior to SOLDIER had been pretty uneventful, and the bits that weren't…well, they weren't worth discussing.

Cloud shifted in place outside the door, sure that he hadn't heard the buzzing sound from the keycard panel yet. The general had  _definitely_ messaged him twenty minutes ago and said to be here at this time. There was no way his knock would have gone unheard either, so he was hesitant to knock again...

Before he could reach into his pocket to check his PHS, the door swung open slowly, a Third he didn't recognize smiling grimly at him. "Good luck with your eval," the man said, holding the door open for Cloud to step inside.

The blond furrowed his brows in confusion, but quickly muttered a  _thanks_ as he stepped inside the office. Genesis shot him a meaningful glance when his mouth opened, so he bit back the question as the door closed behind him. Instead he just approached his usual seat in front of the desk, smiling awkwardly as his mentor watched his every step.

"He's a particularly chatty SOLDIER," the redhead said after a minute, a small smile emerging on his face as well. "I may have indicated that we needed to wrap up our conversation because I had another SOLDIER stopping by for an evaluation as well."

"Oh," Cloud muttered, for some reason not shocked at all. "I was beginning to think you were  _right_ —if I was due for an evaluation too, it definitely would've been a conspiracy."

"Are you implying that you think I'm wrong?" Genesis countered, arching an eyebrow. The blond's eyes went wide, sinking back in his chair a bit—they hadn't even started eating yet and he'd  _already_ said the wrong thing. He opened his mouth, trying to ready a response, but not wanting to make it worse either. "Relax," the general told him, gently this time, "I was only teasing. If you want to be sarcastic, I think it's only fair that I have some fun in return."

"I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, I just—"

The redhead just waved the explanation off, a small smile tugging at one side of his mouth as he rose to his feet. "Do you like Wutain? I forgot to ask you this morning."

"Yeah," he replied, nodding his head—it was strange, but  _what_ they would be eating was probably the only question that hadn't crossed his mind when he was thinking about this lunch meeting.

"Good. Wait here," Genesis said, taking several long steps toward the office door.

Cloud didn't dare turn until he heard the door open and close, spinning in his chair curiously as it shut. He was alone in Genesis' office. The thought alone was bizarre and nerve-wracking for some reason, his heart picking up the pace again as he looked around the room—he tried to focus on what was inside the space, like he was seeing it all for the first time again. That was better than stopping to stress about what they would talk about and how terribly this could still go—how there was still a chance he could annoy the man and end up assigned to someone else.

Thankfully, Genesis wasn't gone for long—the blond heard the same buzzing noise from the keycard panel as the general let himself back into the office, a large paper bag in hand as he made his way back to his desk. It only took him a minute to clear some space, taking out several take out containers and placing them on the desk.

"I was supposed to have lunch with Angeal and Sephiroth today—I had them order extra when we made plans instead," Genesis explained, sitting back down. "You can pull the chair up closer—I'd rather not get food all over the carpet. There's basically a little of everything here, so take whatever you like."

"You cancelled plans with them for  _me?"_ Cloud asked, not hiding his disbelief.

"It's not as if I don't see them often enough," the redhead responded shortly. "And I'm sure they appreciate the occasional break from me. In fact, Sephiroth probably owes you a thank you for this—all these evaluations put me in a foul mood."

Cloud chose not to react to that statement, not wanting to say the wrong thing again—as far as he could tell, the general  _wasn't_ in a foul mood at all. At least not in the way he'd come to expect from time to time. He didn't want to come across like he was complaining either, so he just scooted his chair in closer to the desk as suggested. It was a lot easier to focus on the variety of food in front of him than it was to meet any of the repeated glances Genesis was sending in his direction as he did the same.

"So," the redhead began, starting in on his meal, "tell me about yourself. What is the most interesting thing to know about Cloud Strife?"

"Um…" He took a bite of his own food, trying to hide his frown at the broad question. "You already know the most interesting thing about me."

"I'm inclined to disagree—what happened to you is interesting strictly from an academic standpoint," the general said, eyeing him intently. "I could tell you what _I_ find interesting about you, if you'd like."

Cloud blinked at that, wishing he hadn't looked up so quickly and locked onto the man's intense gaze. "Oh?"

"You are incredibly stubborn." Genesis paused, not looking away for a second as he let his words sink in—it was undoubtedly true. "Something tells me it's not just on the issue of materia either. I'm curious about the root of this behavior."

"I don't really know," Cloud admitted with a small, apologetic shrug. It felt like a weird topic, but maybe this was what the general had meant when he said talking would be beneficial for their training. "I've always been that way, I guess. Sometimes I just can't let things go."

"I didn't say it was a bad thing," the redhead responded slowly. "I suppose we'll have plenty of time together for me to figure it out for myself."

Cloud nodded again, finally able to tear his gaze away when Genesis began poking at his food again.  _Plenty of time._ It sounded like the general really was serious about all this—about being his mentor. The thought helped settle the remainder of his nerves, which was good—judging by the look on Genesis' face the next time their eyes met, he wasn't done with his questions just yet.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your continued support, I really appreciate it more than I can express! 
> 
> Just another quick heads up, this chapter is going to hit on some materia theory (it was bound to happen eventually), so I'd just like to reiterate...while pieces of it are derived from canon elements (namely On the Way to a Smile - In the Case of Yuffie for this chapter), the story itself isn't intended to be canon compliant, so plenty of this will be headcanon as well ^.^ I'm sure that's obvious at this point in the story, so I'm really sorry for even mentioning it - I just get super stressed about these things, so I wanted to say it just in case ~

Banora. That was the town Genesis was from—it had become a topic of conversation somehow while they ate lunch together, Cloud not having much to contribute about his own hometown. Between not being particularly social and leaving home as soon as he had the chance…there really wasn't much to say about it.

Luckily it didn't end up mattering—Genesis obviously knew how to steer his way through a conversation, and Cloud was more than willing to listen. There was something about the man's voice that was pleasant on his ears, transforming a lunch that he had been more than a little concerned about into something… _fun._ Before he knew it, a full hour and a half had gone by and there had been another knock on the door—another meeting interrupting their time together.

Or, another scheduled meeting that their unscheduled time together had delayed.

Whatever it was, it had been incredibly unwelcome at the time. But it also left Cloud looking forward to the morning more than he would have expected. Instead of staying up to worry, he had been restless with anticipation—he was up and in the gym by 0700 hours, grateful to have a half-asleep Zack by his side. His friend had gotten in late the previous evening, but didn't mind when Cloud asked to hit the gym early—now that he was no longer the Third's 'official temporary mentor', the 0800 hour rule no longer applied apparently.

"I still don't get why Gen wants to change your routine already," Zack told him, though he shrugged indifferently about it. It was amazing he was able to do so while doing his bicep curls, the amount of weight on the barbell significantly more than Cloud's total body weight. SOLDIER strength was  _definitely_ impressive, and the blond couldn't wait until he was on Zack's level with it. His own muscles were getting more and more defined, but he was definitely no Zack yet. "Aside from some weight adjustments, it's a solid starting plan."

"I don't know either—he didn't even ask about it really, he just said he'd find something else," the blond responded, shrugging as well after setting his own weights down. "I figured maybe he knew what we've been doing because he remembered whatever Angeal showed you back then?"

"Uh, I doubt it," his friend replied with a chuckle. "Me and Gen are friends now, but it took him a  _while_ to warm up to me. I think he didn't like how much of Angeal's time I was taking up at first."

Cloud frowned, finding it hard to believe anyone would have a hard time warming up to someone like Zack—then again, they  _were_ talking about Genesis. "Maybe he has something more suited for Thirds."

"Eh, it's not like what you do in the gym will change how you use materia," Zack reminded him, leaving him completely stumped about the whole thing. "It's important obviously—building up your speed, stamina, strength...But materia's mostly mental," he explained, tapping his temple as he said the final word. "That's probably why he's not much of a gym guy. Gen's idea of a good workout is usually an hour or two in the VR with Seph."

"Huh…Remind me to ask him not to sign me up for that routine."

Zack chuckled again at that, patting his friend on the back after wrapping up his final repetition for the day. "I dunno, he'll probably just do the opposite of whatever you ask just to keep it interesting," the Second reminded him, smirking down as Cloud realized he was probably right. "I'm sure it won't be so bad—he knows what he's doing."

"I hope so. I'm kind of nervous about how the rest of our lessons will go," he admitted slowly, watching as his friend finished putting away the weights he'd used. "Materia especially."

"Yeah…he's kinda all over you about that, huh?" Zack noted, frowning thoughtfully. "I've seen him argue with people before, but I've never seen him act like  _that_."

"He said he wasn't going to try to do that anymore…provoke me like that. We actually ended up having a good lesson after you left, and then yesterday…" Cloud smiled fondly as he thought back on his lunch with Genesis. "I think he's serious about this whole mentor thing."

"You only just figured that out?" his friend teased, grinning widely.

"Uh, considering he basically decided on a whim, I wasn't really sure."

"On a whim?" Zack scoffed at that, an unusual thing for him to do. "He knew exactly what was gonna happen when he turned up in the training hall."

"I don't think he did—he'd already picked someone out for me and everything. The dude showed up at my door yesterday morning and told me I was late for training."

"Spike…" Zack literally laughed, not finishing his statement as the blond swatted away the hand sneaking in to ruffle his hair. "There was no way he was gonna pair you with someone else—he woulda done it two weeks ago if that was the case. He's known since day one this was how it was gonna be."

"But—"

"You two are kinda funny," the Second said, shaking his head slowly as his laughter tapered off. "I think you're gonna have fun working together."

"…Me too."

"Just let me know if he gives you too much crap—I can tell you one or two embarrassing stories about him that'll make you feel better."

It was Cloud's learn to laugh, half-tempted to hear those stories now. But it was getting late already...he needed to shower and get ready to meet Genesis. "I will. Thanks, Zack," he told his friend, hoping the depth of his appreciation came across in his tone. The way Zack smiled down at him made it feel like he was successful, the Second saying his goodbyes as they went their separate ways.

Even after his shower he still had 30 minutes to spare, unsure what to do with himself as he awaited his first scheduled session with Genesis. Pacing around his apartment anxiously only kept him occupied for a few minutes, so instead he decided to head to the training hall early. There was only one materia Genesis had insisted he bring, though he hadn't quite worked up the nerve to slide it into his bracer yet. Instead he rolled it in his palm, awed as usual by how cool it was despite the fact that it was used to create fire spells.

His eyes flickered between the clock on the wall and the training dummy, then down to his hand. Could he even do this on his own? There was plenty of time to find out, but...the thought alone was unsettling, and he opted to pocket the materia instead. Genesis would arrive soon enough anyway.

"Did you forget already?" He jumped at the question, spinning around nervously and meeting his mentor's eyes. "It won't do you any good in your pocket."

"...I didn't think the dummy would run off if I threw it," Cloud responded with a small shrug, relieved when the general actually laughed softly.

He reached back into his pocket, pulling the materia out once more. There was only a brief moment of hesitation as he held it near his bracer, the nod Genesis gave him acting as the final push for him to slide it in. It didn't actually make much of a difference, holding it or equipping it—he was still aware of the connection he felt to it and clearly able to use it either way...but something about equipping it properly felt so much more deliberate.

"Well, that's progress," Genesis noted, smirking when Cloud narrowed his eyes. "I thought I'd have to do it for you again."

"It still makes me feel..."

"I know. We'll start slowly—our primary goal for these first few days will be to get you comfortable with casting, and to increase your efficiency in the process," the redhead told him, stepping in closer as he spoke. "Do you have any questions before we begin?"

"Um...not yet."

He'd had so many, but now that this was actually happening, it was a bit overwhelming. Staring into the eyes of a man who could actually understand his questions and answerthem...

"We'll start with four and then take a break," Genesis decided, gesturing toward the training dummy.

"Four...casts?"

Genesis raised both brows, his expression almost incredulous. "What else would I be referring to?"

"I don't know, I just..."

He was sure his face was red, turning to face the dummy willingly just to hide himself. This was such an  _ordeal_ now. Casting was something so standard—so  _normal_ for so many SOLDIERs. But all the problems he'd had and all the ways he'd managed to cast...the way Genesis spoke about casting four times in a row so simply only made it feel like there was even  _more_ pressure on him to get it right. What if he couldn't do it again? Or worse, what if used too much again?

"Relax," the man said, his voice soft yet commanding. Cloud closed his eyes as he nodded, unsure what to say in response. "This is no different than what happened last time we did this," he added, the sound of his boots drawing in closer as Cloud nodded again. "I want you to forget everything prior to those casts. Focus on what's going on inside you  _now_...It's not some foreign energy that you have no control over—it's nothing to be alarmed by."

There was a short pause as the blond worked through it all, getting back into that same head space from the previous day. Genesis closing in on him helped, a wordless reminder of all the things he'd needed to focus on before—warmth and light.

"Again," Genesis urged quietly, the blond only vaguely aware that he'd sent off his first cast already—it was hard to notice anything over the tremor that had hit him, his eyes flying open at the sensation of it before closing once more to continue.

The second and third were much more recognizable, each followed by the same feeling that made his eyes go wide in alarm as they opened to watch the aftermath of his cast. His fourth cast though...Cloud blinked his eyes open slowly after that one rather than letting them shoot open at the sudden jolt in his mind.

It was like a loud bell was being rung inside his head, yet instead of simply hearing it ring, he was startled by the way the sudden sound echoed through to his very core. "…What  _is_ that?" he asked slowly, brows furrowed as he looked up at his mentor.

"What is  _what?"_

"That  _feeling_ ," Cloud tried to explain, slumping his shoulders when he knew that wasn't specific enough. It was hard to describe though. "Whenever I cast, it's like…a pulse in my head, and it goes right through me. Not painful, but…"

"It's a shock," the redhead informed him, finding the word he was looking for with ease. "Your mind triggers one with every cast—it's a sensation created by the release of mana. Hence the limitations…frequent use without rest will tax your stamina until you're too weak to continue."

"Oh," Cloud muttered, a hand on the back of his neck. Did he always feel that happen? It was hard to remember a sensation from like that back in Sector Eight—his emotions had been a blur, the frustration alone ingrained in his memory. The same thing in Genesis' office after that. His casts since though…there  _had_ always been a strange feeling that went along with each spell. "Will it always be so…noticeable?"

"No. You'll always be conscious of it, but the impact it has on you won't be as startling," Genesis told him slowly.

"Why don't any of the books mention anything about a shock?"

"Did you open the book I lent you yesterday?" the redhead countered, raising an eyebrow.

Cloud frowned, remembering the book Genesis had handed him on his way out the door after their lunch. "You told me I couldn't start it until I finished the other one."

"…Did you finish that one at least?" he asked instead, hands on his hips.

"I read a bit more, but I was only about halfway in to begin with," he admitted, smiling awkwardly as he tried to determine just how serious his mentor's glare was.

"I let you borrow you that book well over a month ago!" Genesis exclaimed, apparently  _very_ serious.

"I tried, but…" The words were lost on his tongue, his gaze faltering as Genesis' bore down on him.

"But what?" his mentor pressed, more gently than expected—it was enough to get Cloud to look back up, staring directly into expectant eyes.

"But…I didn't like you very much for most of that time," Cloud replied, shrugging apologetically when the general's jaw dropped slightly in disbelief.

Considering how obvious some of his staring and blushing probably was at times, it probably  _was_ a big shock for the general to hear. There was a pretty big difference between having misplaced feelings for someone and  _wanting_ to have those feelings though, and the way Genesis acted sometimes…well, it was easy to forget in moments like this at least. When he was alone in his room thinking about it all though, book in hand? More often than not, it was easier to hide it in the dresser and try to forget about it and any thoughts of the man—frustrated or otherwise.

The general had been the one who insisted on hearing it though, so Cloud ground out the rest of his explanation, "You gave it to me after that day in your office, and I was still mostly annoyed with you then so I didn't look at it for a few days. I only got maybe a quarter of the way in before my mission, and you said something about firaga to the face if it left the building, so I didn't bring it along—I tried to keep going when I got back, but then you turned a complete 180 on me after my mako treatments so I stopped again."

"I hardly think that constitutes a complete 180—all I did was change my mind about wanting to mentor you."

"So you admit it," the blond said, his heart sinking in a hurry. "You  _did_ mean that you wanted to train me when you said you'd oversee—"

"Fine—before your mako treatments, yes, I considered taking you on as a student. I never specifically said that at the time though, so you can hardly hold it against me now."

"Why'd you change your mind?"

"You truly are just as stubborn as I guessed, aren't you?" the general muttered, his words accompanied by an appraising look. "I suppose you wouldn't be worth the time if you weren't. If you  _must_ know, it's exact same thing I told you yesterday—I am simultaneously the best and worst mentor you could have. At the time though, I had reason to believe I might be more detrimental than beneficial to your progress."

_Why?_ That was what he wanted to ask, but it wasn't the question that came out. "…And now?"

"I'll let you know in a few weeks," Genesis responded simply. "I'm curious what  _you_  think now."

"About whether or not you're a good mentor?" he asked hesitantly—they'd only been working together officially for…twenty minutes? Granted those twenty minutes had been more productive than all his time with Kunsel, it still didn't feel right to make that determination so quickly.

Genesis stepped in closer, arms folded across his chest as he looked down. "No. You said you didn't like me very much—is that still the case?"

"I'll let you know in a few weeks," the blond retorted, matching the general's simple tone with the words.

The redhead scoffed, but the smile on his face was unwavering. "Do you feel you've had a sufficient break? We should keep practicing if you're ready—six more, then another break."

"I only did four before the break," he responded hesitantly—actually, he hadn't felt tired after those four, but it had only been a few minutes.

"Exactly. We need to build up your stamina and increase your efficiency," the Third General explained, hands on Cloud's shoulders as he pivoted the blond on his feet to face the training dummies once more. "You should be able to get up to ten today if we time your breaks appropriately. Tomorrow we'll work you up to at least 15, and the next day we'll jump to 20—we'll try alternating between two materia at that point. Eventually I'd like to have you working three a day, but I suspect you might plateau for a few days."

"Aren't there potions that would—"

"Yes, but you don't want to become dependent on those, particularly not while you're training still," Genesis warned, shaking his head decisively. "I haven't used an ether in years, and I don't intend for you to either. So long as we can consistently increase your efficiency, you'll find they're unnecessary. ShinRa will provide you with a few per mission, but it would be best for you not to use them unless there's an actual emergency."

"Why not?"

"Because you're  _my_  student—I'm not sure if you heard, but the expectations are high for you now. Aaron Evans is quite the gossip it seems," the redhead explained, gesturing toward the dummy as he spoke. Cloud took the hint, inhaling a long breath as he closed his eyes. "Leave them open."

"But it's easier to focus—"

"Do you think it would be wise to close your eyes to cast during actual combat?" Genesis countered, his point sinking in almost immediately. " _Yes,_ it's easier to focus, but it's also unnecessary. The sooner we can break that habit, the better."

"Why'd you teach me that way in the first place then?"

"Because it was effective," the redhead said simply—and it was true, Cloud supposed.

It was much easier to feel what was going on inside himself when he shut off what was going on around him… _Everything_  inside him. From the energy coursing through him to the accelerated heartbeat pumping it all the faster. He could feel that now as well, despite the fact his eyes were wide open, trying to stay pinned to the training dummy rather than the pair pinned to him.

Nothing happened though. Eventually they flickered over to Genesis', wide and at a loss. "Some day you'll be able to look at me and direct your cast toward the dummy—not yet though," the redhead told him, shaking his head as he smirked down. He stepped in behind Cloud, much the same way as he had been the day he declared himself as the blond's mentor, lifting his shaky arm toward the dummy. "Open palm."

Cloud obeyed again, the familiar motion feeling much more strained while he was watching it. "I can't—"

"You're overthinking this. Nothing will go wrong—just let go."

And he did. The energy coursing through him was already in tune with the materia in his bracer—that much he was aware of the moment he equipped it. Instead of pulling against it though, he surrendered to it, his mentor's steady presence helping to soothe the last of the reluctance he felt. Genesis was right...Whether he saw the cast itself or not made no difference. Nothing would go wrong—not while Genesis was right there to walk Cloud through it, time and time again.

With each cast he felt more and more at ease about it, also growing more aware of the rapidly depleting energy inside himself. By the fifth one he was taking quick breaths, awed to think he could feel so drained from just standing in one spot.

"I don't think I can do six yet," he said quietly.

"Yes, you can."

He was sure he would have been swaying where he stood if not for the firm hands keeping him in place as he felt one final tremor striking him. Wordlessly, he was guided over to one of the free benches in the room, happy to take a seat by his mentor's side for another break.

"This is all temporary," Genesis assured him, looking at the blond from the corner of his eyes. "Eventually even if you hit the point where you're out of mana, you won't feel physically drained by it—you'll just be unable to cast until you've rested sufficiently. You're just adjusting to the sensation still—your mind hasn't adapted to the difference between physical exhaustion and mental drain. Ideally, you'll feel enough control over your own mana that you won't allow yourself to run so low regardless, but if it happens, you won't feel like this."

The words were relatively reassuring—the way his casts were going now, he was getting burnt out  _way_  too quickly to be productive on in the field. If it happened like this on a mission, he'd be worthless even with a sword in his current state. Knowing there was a way to change that though, by just practicing more...it was all extra motivation to keep at it—to keep working on casting more between breaks, and to keep trying to make those breaks shorter.

He didn't make  _leaps_ of progress the way he'd hoped, but...by the time they were sitting down after his final cast of the lesson, he was feeling relatively accomplished at least. It was only day one, really. If Genesis could turn his training around this drastically in a single session, he could only imagine how much progress they would make by the end of the week alone—and now that he was sure Genesis was actually sticking with him, he felt even more optimistic about it all.

"Hey Gen?" Cloud asked, looking up at his mentor curiously.

The Third General quirked an eyebrow. "…Gen? Only my closest friends call me that."

"Genesis!" he corrected himself, wondering where  _that_ came from as the blush spread across his cheeks.

"I didn't say I minded."

"But I'm not—"

"I suppose it's better than  _sir,_ " the redhead added, tapping his chin in an exaggerated manner as Cloud stared at him helplessly. "Did you actually have a question for me?"

Cloud nodded his head, still berating himself for the casual slip—it was Zack's fault. Probably. Whenever his friend referred to Genesis, it was almost always as  _Gen,_ and at some point that was the nickname that had taken hold in Cloud's mind too. It was just one he'd never said aloud until now.

"Why is it that everyone else can just… _use_ materia? It's so easy for them, but I…"

"It's simple really," Genesis responded with a shrug. "You're a natural."

"…It was a serious question."

"And it was a serious answer. That shock you've been feeling—most people aren't conscious of it the way you are," Genesis informed him, holding his gaze evenly. "The problem is, that trigger goes off in your mind, and somewhere in your mind you were still afraid."

"I wasn't afraid of anything—I may not have tried as much during boot camp, but with Kunsel I did my best every day."

Genesis scoffed. "Clearly that's not the case—something was stopping you.  _What_ , I can't say—perhaps our conversation about association didn't sink in as well as I'd hoped," the redhead guessed, raising an eyebrow as Cloud considered the possibility that he was right.

That conversation had a deep impact on him, but then…It was hard to get back to that state of mind after Genesis had passed him off to Kunsel. He stared up at the man now, easily drawn back into that moment again as he felt the warmth of his presence so close by.

"I think what you needed was to get a sense of yourself—to be around someone who could understand and guide you through it, rather than simply expecting it to be a simple feat. Once you realized you could  _feel_ what was going on inside you, you also realized you could control it. That sense of control gave you the semblance of safety you needed to cast freely. It's still a work in progress—we'll probably hit the same wall again tomorrow, and I'll walk you through it again. Eventually you'll truly be beyond it."

Cloud nodded his head, each word resonating with him. "But then why…If that's how it is, then why would I be able to cast when—"

"You're a natural," the general repeated simply. "Of course your instincts will take over under the right circumstances. Unfortunately, you're using too much per cast  _now,_ even while you're aware of what you're doing—you need more practice to get that fully under control. That being said, it only makes sense for you to pour even more out when you're unaware."

"But...I passed out that first time. In your office I was just tired."

"There's a significant difference between a dire situation and a little provocation," Genesis reminded him quietly. "Not to mention the impact was one your mind had never experienced prior to that night. I would venture to say your anger had a subconscious effect, proportionate to how you strongly you were feeling in those moments—the sensation you're aware of now was drowned out by…well, I don't need to explain that to you, I assume."

"No," the blond murmured, his gaze falling rapidly. "…So I'm  _not_ a natural then—not like everyone else."

"It's like you didn't listen to a word I just said, Blondie."

" _What?"_

"I already told you, what happened to you would  _not_ have happened to just anyone," Genesis reiterated carefully.

"But everyone else can just cast—they don't have to think about it, or—"

"No, not everyone else—most people can't work up more than a spark from a lightning materia.  _SOLDIERs_  can do more, and that's strictly due to the mako inside them," the redhead explained. "The mako is drawn toward whatever materia they equip, and with that, their mana—the connection is forged, and they're able to cast without much thought. A shock still goes off, but not one they feel tearing through them—not the way you and I do."

"How do you know they don't?"

"Because I've been studying this for years now."

Cloud couldn't deny him that much, knowing fully well that this man was an expert on this subject matter. "So I'm weaker? I have to work harder to do the same things?"

"Incorrect. Once you're beyond this mental block, which I assume you nearly are at this point, you'll progress much more rapidly than the average SOLDIER. Your awareness will give you an edge when it comes to control, efficiency, potency—the list goes on. You just need to keep practicing until you have a better grasp of it all."

"How do we know when I'm really… _past_ it?"

"Well, you don't seem to have a problem when I'm with you. I suppose the question is, what will happen when I'm not?" the redhead posed, and by the look in his eyes, he was considering it himself. "I have a mission coming up early next week—we'll keep at it until then, and see what happens. I'll leave you a training schedule while I'm gone, and we can discuss how it goes after I return."

"Okay," he agreed, almost embarrassingly enthusiastic about it. How could he not be though? After all this time…things were finally starting to make sense. He was  _finally_ making some progress. Of course he was eager to keep training now that it was gradually paying off, though he wasn't quite as eager to see what would happen when he was left on his own. "Are we going to do any other training today? With swords or anything?"

"Ah, unfortunately not—I was able to clear my morning schedule, but only by pushing my workload up a few hours," the general explained with a frown. "It'll take roughly a week and a half to fully adjust my schedule to suit the training plan I intend to implement with you, so you'll have to bear with me—I'll make sure we at least get to complete your materia lessons every day I'm in town in the meantime though."

He tried not to be too disappointed—what was another week or so? At least he'd have  _some_ time with Genesis, and that was more than he could have hoped for not so long ago. "So you need to go now?"

"I was thinking we could have lunch in my office again—it's a bit early still, but you look like you have more on your mind," Genesis noted, his appraising stare bringing a blush back to Cloud's cheeks. They left the training hall, silently headed toward the elevator as the man continued to assess his student. "Another materia inquiry?"

Was he that easy to read? It felt like they'd spent a lot of time together, but really…they hadn't yet—this man didn't know him  _that_  well. 

Except he did, apparently—he could  _always_  tell when Cloud was holding back. "Um…Not exactly."

"Then what is it?" he asked curiously, wasting no time stepping into the elevator as he spoke.

Cloud followed him, only debating the question for a moment before asking—there was no point in holding it back if they were going to be working together regularly now. "…Is there any way I could look at the reports about what happened to me?"

Genesis raised a single brow. "Those reports are classified—only a handful of First Classes have access to them."

"I know," the blond admitted, a hand on the back of his neck. It didn't seem worth mentioning how he'd found that out the hard way—between what Kunsel had told him, and his own failed attempts at accessing the files after making SOLDIER. "That's why I'm asking  _you_."

"As much as I enjoy misusing my authority, I'm afraid I can't this time," Genesis said, the softness in his tone almost apologetic as he spoke.

"What about my conscription? There must have been separate paperwork for that."

"There is, but it's all categorized the same way."

"Oh." He tried not to look as deflated as he felt, biting back a sigh as he eyed his mentor. "I understand," he muttered, trying to mean it.

At most he understood why his mentor couldn't let him see the reports—he didn't really understand why he'd been denied additional information from the start though. It wasn't like he didn't already  _know_ a good portion of what happened. There were only a few missing details, and he was sure even if the reports didn't include them, they would at least point him in the right direction.

"Was there something specific you were hoping to see? I was under the impression your main concern was working out what happened to you—how you were able to use your fire materia that night. We already discussed that."

"It's nothing  _specific,_ I just wanted to look," he explained quietly.

"Look for what—closure?" the redhead guessed, a slightly empathetic look in his eyes when Cloud nodded. "You haven't come to terms with what happened?"

"I have," Cloud said, not nearly as insistently as he intended. They stepped off the elevator in silence, and he was grateful the general didn't press him as they walked down the office floor hallway. It wasn't until they were safely inside the redhead's office that electric blue eyes were staring into his own, neither more than two steps into the room. "I still… _think_ about it, I guess. Whenever I'm alone, or something reminds me…More than I should—I don't want to  _forget_ , but I don't want…"

"To remember so much, so often."

"Yeah," he agreed, astounded by the way Genesis always  _knew_. "I think it's just the little thing holding me back—if I just knew more, like why there was an attack to begin with, or even the unimportant things…"

"Perhaps you're asking the wrong question then."

"What question  _should_ I be asking?" he countered, completely perplexed when Genesis just shook his head silently. "Why would you say that if you don't want to tell me?"

"Sometimes it's more important to come to a conclusion on your own than it is to be pointed in the right direction," the general explained vaguely, raising both brows as Cloud opened his mouth—he closed it a moment later, still uncertain. "I can't show you the reports."

"I know…you  _just_ said..." He tried not to look as annoyed as he was beginning to feel, running a hand through his unruly spikes—luckily the way Genesis was eyeing him was oddly soothing, putting him at ease again relatively quickly. This was just one more reason he needed to get to First for himself. "Do you ever still think about…"

"Yes."

"What  _happened_  to you?" Cloud asked, biting his lower lip once the hushed question had gotten out—he regretted it instantly, the darkness brewing in Genesis' eyes making his heart plummet. "I'm sorry. You probably don't—"

"Never apologize for asking questions—I have no problem with refusing to answer if it's not something I'm willing to discuss," the redhead cut in, a flare of his typical heat breaking through his otherwise cold expression. "This will have to be one of those times. If I thought knowing would be beneficial, I would tell you, but as it currently stands—hearing about my past won't make you feel any better about your own."

"Does that mean…you'll tell me some other time?"

"Perhaps."

"That wasn't the right question either then, was it?" Cloud concluded with a frown.

"No, it wasn't."

There was a long pause in the air, both men lost in their own thoughts before Cloud looked back up at his mentor again. This just wasn't going to do—he hadn't intended to dampen the mood after such a good session together. It felt fixable though...the distant look in Genesis' eyes was practically begging to be drawn back to the moment.

"I think I have a better question," Cloud said tentatively, meeting that stare head on.

"Oh?"

"…What's for lunch?"

Only the hint of a smirk appeared on Genesis' face, but the amusement that had returned to the general's eyes...it was definite proof his question had the desired effect.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I finally fell off schedule. Sorry about that, something happened and really put a damper on my week, to say the least. Anyway. I really wish I had something better to say, but all I can think of is...thanks ^.^ For reading, responding, and just being awesome in general. Hope y'all have a fantastic weekend ~

* * *

Training with Genesis only seemed to get better by the day—and those days went by faster and faster. It was strange, when he thought about it…two weeks of training with Kunsel had dragged and dragged, even with Zack supplementing his routine. Two weeks with Genesis though? They had come and gone, and then some—and it  _still_ felt like they hadn't had nearly enough time together, even with all the progress he'd made under his mentor's close watch.

Each lesson ended before he was prepared to stop, leaving him eager for the next day to arrive.

Instead of just meeting once a day for five days a week to work for a few hours on materia, they were meeting nearly  _every_ day to work on  _everything—_ it felt like he'd come to a complete standstill before Genesis had taken control of his training, and now he was sprinting at full speed. Finally using a materia without being completely frustrated had been a major breakthrough for him, and while Genesis' assumption that it would take several days to  _really_  move beyond the block he'd built in his mind had proven true…that particular issue was behind him now.

He was ready and willing to do whatever he could to keep his momentum going after that.

Materia use wasn't the only thing that had come easier to him under Genesis' watch—his physical and sword training were coming along nicely as well. True to his word, the redhead had set Cloud up with a new workout routine that was at the very least on par with what Zack had him doing. Sword training was...different with Genesis. It was strange reverting to a single handed sword, but he was getting better by the day—something about it still didn't feel quite as powerful, but the way Genesis moved with such finesse...it was mesmerizing, and the style worked out well with Cloud's speed at least.

Perhaps more importantly, the more time he spent with Genesis, the easier it was to understand the man—to know when he was joking and when he was serious. To know the difference between when he growing genuinely irritated or being slightly dramatic. Once Cloud had all that figured out, navigating his many moods was a simple and oddly enjoyable task. Most days anyway.

"I think that's enough for today," Genesis declared, eyes glowing wildly as they watched the blast Cloud created hit the training dummy.

Normally he would have turned to his mentor at that point, curious why they would be stopping already—they'd barely just begun, and usually materia practice took up the bulk of their morning—but he was too busy eyeing the training dummy too. The damn things really  _were_ inflammable…or so he'd thought after a couple weeks of casting fire and fira spells on it. This time though, the blast he'd created didn't diminish as soon as it collided with the dummy—the flame held out, scorching a small area on the shoulder of the dummy and threatening to spread.

Genesis dealt with it in a flash, a regretful sigh escaping his lips as he did so. "It's a shame to extinguish your fine work, but the last time one of these caught fire, it came out of  _my_ paycheck," he explained, rolling his eyes as he looked to Cloud once more. "Apparently no one put it out, and I was the only suspect."

"Was it you?" Cloud asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"You're missing the point! They had no  _proof,"_ Genesis insisted, a hand on his hip.

Cloud just scoffed. "Yeah, but who else—"

"Clearly you've been around ShinRa far too long—you're starting to use their reasoning!" the redhead exclaimed, staring pointedly at his student. "We'll have to do something about that. Go back to your apartment and change into some civilian clothes—I'll expect you to be just outside the main entrance of the tower in twenty minutes."

"Are we going somewhere?"

"Nineteen minutes."

The blond's eyes went wide at that, but he couldn't help smiling after his initial shock—so much had been changing lately, but some things were still the same. Genesis gave him a wink before he turned to hurry away, and he was sure it added an extra kick in his step along the way.

This was new.

Not the kick in his step every time Genesis winked or even  _looked_ at him a certain way—that was definitely normal now. Whatever they were about to do though…it definitely wasn't a part of their routine.

Normally his day started with cardio and then some weight training in the gym—some mornings Genesis would actually come supervise (or, watch from a bench while he drank his morning latte, occasionally teasing Cloud about needing to bulk up more), other mornings he would spend the time in his office working on reports and performance evaluations, among other things. After Cloud took a quick shower, they would meet in the Third Class training hall for an extended materia practice session that usually lasted until lunch.

It was nowhere near lunch time today.

He quickly changed into one of his only civilian outfits—beat up old jeans and a ShinRa Army t-shirt—before an unsuccessful attempt at taming his hair. When that proved pointless, he rushed back out the door with at  _least_ seven minutes to spare. By the time he was in the lobby he only had five minutes, but as he stepped outside the tower he discovered it didn't matter anyway—Genesis hadn't arrived yet.

After a few minutes of enjoying the cool morning air, he realized it really  _had_ been too long since he'd gotten away from ShinRa. Most of his time was spent inside the tower, meals included—everything he could possibly need could be found on one floor or another.

"How long has it been since you left the building?" a distinct voice asked from behind.

It was startling, but in all the right ways, bringing a smile to his face as he spun around. "Ten minutes—you're late," Cloud said, crossing his arms as he eyed his mentor. He meant to stare pointedly at the man, but instead found himself looking the redhead up and down as casually as possible before meeting his eyes curiously.

Genesis hadn't changed into civilian clothes, but he  _had_ removed his signature red jacket—it was remarkable the difference it made, seeing him in just the black pants and turtle neck…aside from his intricate boots, it basically looked like every other SOLDIER uniform except it was black since he was a First. Granted…it didn't really matter  _what_ Genesis was wearing—even in a uniform that looked so much like so many other's, he stood out easily in Cloud's eyes.

"I'm not late—I told  _you_ to be down here in twenty minutes. I never indicated I would be as well," Genesis said, a hand on his hip. "And I meant how many  _days_ has it been since you stepped outside, not how many minutes since you walked out the door—you're looking around like it's been ages."

"I guess it's been a few weeks," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck when his mentor raised an eyebrow. "Does it really take half an hour to take off your jacket?"

The redhead snorted, amusement gleaming in his eyes. "No. My jacket is  _much_ easier to manage than Sephiroth's in that regard. If you  _must_  know, I intended to change as well, but Zack spotted me in the hallway—he has a way with going on and on, and before I knew it twenty minutes had already passed."

"So…you didn't change because you didn't want to keep me waiting?" Cloud asked slowly, trying his best not to react too much—he was helpless against the loud beating of his heart, but he  _could_ try to fight back the impending smile growing on his face.

"The whole point of this was to get  _you_ out of your uniform and away from the building—not me," Genesis responded, ushering Cloud down the steps that lead up to the main entrance. By that point he'd failed miserably at fighting his smile, looking up toward the redhead with question filled eyes. "You've been working hard—I think you've earned the rest of the day off."

"But what about sword training and—"

"No," the general interjected decisively, a soft laugh when the blond opened his mouth to protest. "You mastered your first materia—we're celebrating."

Cloud furrowed his brows in confusion. "I didn't master anything."

"Oh really?" Genesis countered, coming to halt on the sidewalk and extending an open hand to Cloud. "Show me the materia."

"How do you know I have it with me?"

The Third General stared him up and down, arching an eyebrow. "You're wearing a ShinRa Army t-shirt."

"Just because I'm in SOLDIER doesn't mean I can't support the Army still," Cloud argued with a shrug, hoping that would be the end of  _that_ conversation.

"I agree—and it looks lovely on you. That wasn't my point though," Genesis said smoothly, the smallest smirk on his face as Cloud's face grew red. "The materia." He pulled it out of his pocket reluctantly, already starting to see the difference as he placed it into his mentor's palm. Genesis held it between his thumb and index finger, examining it with a studious nod. "This is a mastered materia—you can see it, can't you? It's a much deeper green now."

He nodded his head in agreement, stunned to think it was even possible. They'd talked about this before…how the more a materia was used, the more it could be utilized—he'd even seen the colors changing as he worked with them, consistently growing a shade darker the more he practiced. But…

"You said it takes  _months_ before a materia can be mastered!"

"No. I said it typically takes new recruits months to master a materia," the general corrected him,  _tsking_ before handing the materia back to its rightful owner. Cloud held it up to the light himself, admiring the new shade of green with a small smile before putting it back into his pocket and looking to his mentor once more. "Either I am an excellent teacher, or you are an incredibly fast learner. Perhaps a bit of both."

Cloud laughed at that, more inclined to believe that it was the first part—materia was Genesis' specialty after all. "What about the others then? We've been working with three materia a day for a while now."

"They can't be far behind—this one just happens to be your strong suit, and it was the one we started with," the general explained, and if Cloud didn't know any better he could have sworn he saw a flash of pride in his mentor's eyes. "Now enough about this, we're supposed to be celebrating!"

Again he was ushering Cloud, this time down the street and further away from the familiarity of the ShinRa Tower. He found himself scanning his surroundings, realizing how little he actually knew about the city. This area was nowhere near any of his patrols while he was in the infantry, and he'd just been too busy since joining SOLDIER to really explore much. Sometimes he and Zack would pop out to eat or catch a movie—or at least before these last few busy weeks they had—but he'd be so caught up talking with his friend that he never really paid attention to everything going on around him. It wasn't like Nibelheim either, where he could just figure it out for himself—he'd probably get lost wandering around the city if he went off on his own. There were so many buildings and alleyways—different shops and restaurants and businesses.

"Where're we going?" he asked suddenly, a bit surprised to catch Genesis already stealing a glance down at him as he looked up.

"I was about to ask you—where would you like to go? It's a bit early in the day for lunch, but we can grab a coffee and then head off wherever you'd like," he said, already guiding them toward a coffee shop with a familiar name—the same name that appeared on the latte Genesis had been holding while Cloud did his physical training that morning. "Do you like coffee?"

"I don't mind it—I prefer tea though," he admitted slowly.

"Ah, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised then—they make excellent tea here as well. Order whatever you'd like, my treat," Genesis insisted when they'd stepped inside, and something in his eyes told Cloud not to bother arguing even though he was ready to object.

The line inside the small coffee shop was a bit insane, but Genesis didn't seem fazed by it in the least so Cloud just quietly stood by his side. After about a minute he'd already lost track of the number of people smiling, waving, and greeting the Third General—it was interesting to witness, really. Around the ShinRa Tower it seemed plenty of people were as intimidated by his mentor as  _he_ used to be, some not even daring to make eye contact—but out here, people were looking at him without hesitation. Not only that, Genesis was smiling back at them—a few people even got winks, which made Cloud shift uncomfortably where he stood.

No one said anything to _him_ thankfully—they probably thought he was just another person in line rather than  _with_ Genesis. Between his shirt and his size, no one would guess that he was a SOLDIER without looking him in the eyes, and he wasn't about to make eye contact with any of Genesis' random…friends? Acquaintances, maybe—they weren't exchanging much more than pleasantries, so it was hard to tell what they were. Maybe they just had some unspoken coffee-lovers bond that Cloud just wasn't picking up on properly.

Whatever it was, he didn't particularly like it.

"Are you alright?" the redhead asked, raising both brows as he finally met Cloud's eyes. It seemed everyone had gotten their acknowledgment from him now, and his attention was fixed solely on his student once more.

"Fine," he responded quietly, flickering his gaze over to the menu when he saw they were next in line.

The menu itself was intimidating, filled with a variety of fancy words Cloud wasn't even sure he could pronounce properly—it wasn't like any coffee shop he'd ever been to before. In fact, he didn't even see just plain coffee on the menu which seemed very odd. There was an entire section of teas too, and none of them looked familiar either—his eyes landed on something that sounded simple at least, and he immediately decided that'd be the one he'd get.

He wasn't at all surprised when Genesis' drink was already done as they stepped up to order, the cashier quick to flash a big smile at Genesis as she assured him there was an extra shot of espresso in it—just the way he liked it. The smile cracked nearly instantly as he informed her there would be a second drink this time as well. Cloud actually felt bad for her as he gave his order…she looked entirely crestfallen, like she had done something terrible by not realizing they were together and having his drink ready in advance. It was a bit ridiculous—even if she  _had_  realized they were together, how could she have known what he'd order?

"No charge—to make up for the inconvenience," she said apologetically, attention fixated on Genesis.

The polite smile he offered seemed to cheer her up again pretty quickly.

At least he didn't have to feel bad about Genesis buying his drink, but he still didn't really understand why it was an  _inconvenience_ to wait like a normal person. They shuffled over toward the drink pick up area, and at this point he wasn't shocked when his drink was the next one ready. At least four people who had been ahead of them in line all shot Cloud glares as he muttered a  _thank you_ to the clerk who had handed him his tea, but thankfully they didn't stick around long enough for any of the dirty looks to bother him.

"Wow," Cloud breathed once they'd stepped outside—he hadn't even realized how anxious he'd been until the door closed and the feeling dissipated.

"They can be a bit intense, hm?" the general noted, sipping at his drink.

"Just a bit," he agreed with a small laugh—Genesis' eyes were lit up with amusement, so he knew his mentor wasn't offended in the least. "Do you know them  _all?"_

"No. I see the clerks nearly every day, so they know my order, but other than that it's a relatively different crowd than I normally encounter first thing in the morning," he explained, taking a seat at one of the round tables outside the shop.

"Then why—"

"Just because  _you_ didn't know who I was when we met doesn't mean other people around the city are so oblivious," he said, his expression smug. "They're  _fans_ , Blondie. I was hoping I wouldn't be quite so recognizable without my jacket, but it seems I was mistaken. I'll do a better job at going incognito next time we leave the tower together."

"Next time?" Cloud repeated, taking a tentative sip of his own drink. To his dismay it was wonderful enough that he briefly entertained the notion of coming back here on his own, but he promptly talked himself out of  _that_ bright idea when he remembered the glares he'd received. "Are we going to celebrate every time I master a materia?"

"Mm, no," his mentor responded promptly. "I leave this evening, remember? I expect you'll have at least two more mastered by the time I return if you follow your training schedule properly."

He slumped in his chair, frowning deeply at the reminder of Genesis' mission. It wasn't the first time the general had to leave since they'd started working together—in addition to all his administrative duties, he was assigned a mission basically once every week. Some of those missions were in the city, others weren't—some lasted a few hours, others took a full day or two. This time though, it was expected to be for four days. Genesis had written out a day by day training plan for Cloud to follow while he was gone, detailing who he should contact if he needed help with each specific task…and Cloud was at the point where he could complete most of his training alone anyway.

But it was never the same as training  _with_ Genesis. No one seemed to be able to get through to him the same way that his mentor could.

"You look disappointed," Genesis noted, eyeing Cloud with a growing curiosity. "Do you feel like you need a day off more often? We  _have_ been working nearly every day—you're progressing rapidly enough that we could have an extra scheduled off day each week."

"Off day like our normal off day?" he inquired, trying not to appear  _too_ hopeful.

They usually had a single 'off day' during the week, rotating based on Genesis' workload and mission schedule…but it wasn't a day when they did nothing. Instead of their usual routine, Cloud would do his own physical training in the morning before headed to Genesis' office—there he would read whatever book he was handed (sometimes on materia theory, other times on sword play—or his personal favorite, combat strategies) while sitting comfortably on the couch in the office. Genesis would usually schedule it on a day where he wasn't particularly swamped with work so that he could join Cloud on the couch, reading whatever he felt like that day.

It was actually his favorite training day of the week because even though he was learning and would need to apply what he was reading about to their actual training, he was able to completely relax still. Cloud would interrupt the general periodically to ask questions, and somehow it was inevitable—they'd get off subject.

Genesis was excellent at explaining things, but he was also a great storyteller—he'd give a practical example to go along with his explanation, and instead of leaving it at that, Cloud would ask slightly less relevant questions about the example he'd given until the original question was lost entirely to the story. Even though he usually didn't have much to add, there was something addictive about listening to Genesis speak—he definitely wouldn't mind adding another off day like that to their routine.

"I mean an actual day off, where you don't do any training independently or with me," Genesis clarified, folding his hands on the table as he watched Cloud closely. "Or, if you prefer, I can just give you a book to read each week in your free time instead of—"

"No," he responded quickly, setting his drink down and leaning forward. "I think we just should do what we've been doing."

"Then what's bothering you?"

"Nothing," he said, not ready for the way Genesis' stare sharpened—he hadn't seen  _that_ look in a while now. "I just think things are fine the way they are now."

"Cloud…when you stopped treating me like a superior officer, I stopped treating you like a subordinate. That doesn't change what I said about needing you to speak your mind though," Genesis told him carefully, his light tone doing little to mask the warning in his words. The blond dropped his gaze to the table, his stomach turning uneasily. They'd come so far…he didn't want to take a step back in the wrong direction. Not now. "I don't expect you to tell me everything—if it's none of my business, you can just say that. But if something about our routine is bothering you, I need to know. I'd rather not go back to prodding information out of you the hard way."

"It's not our routine that's bothering me, I just…" He let out a quiet sigh, forcing himself to meet Genesis' eyes once more. Much to his relief, they had softened—there was nothing demanding or expectant in them, just…concern? Whatever it was, it was enough to quell the feeling that he'd done something wrong by not just answering honestly the first time—after a deep breath, he readied his actual answer. It sounded so childish even in his own mind, but it was worth admitting aloud if it meant keeping things the way they were. "I don't like it when you have to leave…I know you wrote me a schedule, but I always get more done when I'm with you."

"Oh," the general murmured, blinking in surprise.

Cloud lifted his drink with both hands, hoping to hide the embarrassment on his face as he sipped at his nearly empty beverage. Even after it was gone he held it up a moment longer, still feeling the heat in his cheeks as his heart pounded loudly in his chest. He could just imagine what Genesis must be thinking—the general had specifically  _warned_ Cloud that he was a busy man, and even given him the opportunity to choose another mentor before they made this arrangement official…

But how could he have known he'd end up growing so attached to the man—that they'd end up working together so well? Sure, Genesis had declared himself the best possible mentor for Cloud—and objectively, the blond had come to the same conclusion. He'd insisted on the general being his mentor, sure he wouldn't have managed to succeed with anyone else. But he'd thought that was all just from a materia standpoint. Not from  _every_ standpoint.

There was so much more to it that he hadn't even considered initially.

Genesis was the ideal match for a student like him all around, setting the expectations high and refusing to accept mediocre results. He gave Cloud an opportunity that he never had in the Army—the chance to receive actual, quality training before he was sent out on missions of his own. Missions that would be coming up soon, at this rate. He didn't want to settle on mediocre results either, with materia or anything else—it didn't matter  _what_ his specialty was supposed to be.

Maybe he shouldn't have been so taken aback by it—the same way it shouldn't have been so startling when his mixed feelings began separating off into distinct, consuming ones…but he really hadn't been prepared for any of it. He hadn't been expecting to see so many sides of the man—to make sense of so many seemingly irrational behaviors. To get caught up in his stories and presence…or to miss him while he was gone.

The general appeared to be considering his candid confession still, eyes not straying from his own for even a second. "Unfortunately, taking on a student doesn't exempt me from my regular duties," Genesis informed him, an echo of the conclusion he'd already reached. "The reality is we're shorthanded right now—not just Firsts, but all three classes. The demand for SOLDIERs has never been higher, and until we can increase our numbers, they can't afford to take me out of the rotation. Not while I can accomplish alone what would otherwise require three to six men."

"I understand," Cloud reassured him, genuinely meaning it—he wasn't so selfish that he couldn't see that other people needed Genesis just as much as he did.

"I'm not sure you do," the general replied, a strange look in his eyes as he looked to Cloud with the slightest smile. "Just because I have to leave doesn't mean I want to—I argued with Seph and Lazard about it even though I knew what they would say. Honestly, you have every right to be annoyed. Normally I would have assigned you to a Third who I could have taken off the schedule or assigned simple enough work that you could have just tagged along for the experience. Someone like Aaron Evans, who could have given you the time you deserve. I was selfish though—I didn't want to give you away."

He wanted to press for a reason—to ask  _why_ …it felt like there had to be more to it than an educational interest in his progress. But he withheld his own curiosities, not about to risk sounding ungrateful after the last part of their conversation. Instead he settled on another truth. "I'm glad you didn't."

"As am I," Genesis agreed, rising to his feet swiftly and gesturing for Cloud to do the same. "That's enough serious talk for now—since we both agree there's nothing we can do about my mission tonight, I think we should make the most of the time we have left. We  _are_ supposed to be celebrating—have you decided what you'd like to do?" He shook his head helplessly as he discarded his empty cup, not even sure what the options were. "Good, I have just the plan then. We'll do a tour of the city,  _my_ style! I'll show you everything you need to know in Midgar—something's bound to catch your eye, and we can stop and enjoy whatever that is. How does that sound?"

There really weren't words to convey exactly how nice that sounded to Cloud..."Great," was all he managed, a big smile plastered on his face.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear. Y'all are very sweet, thanks so much! And um...I think it's safe to say I'm going to be off schedule for a while now - I'm aiming for Saturday as my next update instead of Thursday due to some personal stuff. But yeah. I'll be keeping up with twice weekly updates still, just not on set days anymore. Not many updates left anyway, the ending is practically in sight :-) Thanks so much for sticking around!

 

* * *

"No. Your mana level does  _not_  increase over time—your efficiency does."

Cloud frowned, not quite understanding. "But I used to only be able to cast a few times in a row, and now—"

"Now that you're succeeding more often, you've become more efficient. Your casts require less mana," Genesis finished, raising both brows as if he were daring Cloud to attempt a counter argument.

He should have known better, but he tried to find one anyway. "All the books say it's quantifiable—that a certain spell can be allocated a number, and the total uses we can accomplish with it makes it possible to gauge our own MP," Cloud said, shaking his head dismally as he fell back onto the couch in Genesis' office.

It was amazing how an office couch was so much more comfortable than the one in his own apartment. Maybe that was why he was so content to sit there even though he had nothing in particular to do at the moment.

Genesis was still sitting at his desk, eyes on his computer monitor as he continued to work through their discussion. "None of the books I've shown you say that—the ones you're referring to are written by fools who likely have never cast a tier three spell. Their lack of understanding is  _exactly_ why they never achieve greater heights with their materia use…" He shook his head, letting out a short sigh before tearing his gaze away from the screen and scanning Cloud over. "You look cozy. Shouldn't you be doing something?"

"I was supposed to be training with my mentor, but for some reason he decided he'd rather do paperwork," Cloud replied, shrugging where he sat. Genesis snorted at the notion, which only made Cloud laugh. "Yeah, I thought it was strange too—he's not really a paperwork kind of guy."

"Oh?" Genesis responded, eyes gleaming with interest. "And what kind of guy is he then?"

"Depends on the day," Cloud answered, unable to bite back another laugh as Genesis rolled his eyes.

"Surely I'm not so unpredictable to you—not anymore," Genesis said, smirking as Cloud's laughter started winding down.

"I guess not. Sometimes you can be a bit scary still, but when you are, it's mostly intentional," Cloud noted, his smile growing when Genesis didn't attempt to deny it. "And I've already figured out which subjects to avoid around you, so it's easier now."

"Oh? Dare I ask which subjects those might be?"

Cloud paused, debating the question slowly. He'd basically walked right into that trap— _he_ brought it up, so of course Genesis would want to know. The man had an insatiable curiosity when it came to his student. He was always pressing for thoughts, questions, opinions...and usually Cloud was happy to oblige now that he knew where he stood with SOLDIER and with his mentor.

There was a reason he avoided a few particular subjects though.

Genesis' tone was  _just_ playful enough that Cloud decided to take the leap and answer anyway. "Well, you always make a face when I talk about wanting to join the Silver Elite," Cloud started, laughing more as the man's curious stare turned into an indignant glare.

"If you ever refer to the First Class as the  _Silver Elite_ again, you'll find yourself—"

"You wouldn't really throw a firaga in my face," Cloud cut in, his smile cutting through Genesis' annoyance.

"Perhaps not…Still, I don't appreciate that  _nickname_. We have our own identities and talents—being a First does not by default make me a shadow of Sephiroth."

"You two are friends though…why's it bother you so much?"

"Sephiroth and I have a complicated relationship," Genesis said simply, the finality in his tone a reminder of why he usually chose not to bring up the Silver General in conversation.

That wasn't going to stop Cloud now though—he may not have the opportunity to ask again without genuinely irritating his mentor. "What's that mean?"

"Would you appreciate it if your entire time here as a SOLDIER was spent not as Cloud Strife, but as a member of…Red Leather? If instead of having your own accomplishments, you were just another one of  _my_ accomplishments?"

"…Red Leather?" Cloud arched an eyebrow.

"What? If he can have a ridiculous nickname for his class, I see no reason not to have a ridiculous nickname for mine—and anyway, it was hypothetical."

"I guess I see your point," Cloud admitted, frowning a bit. He was proud, really—being a SOLDIER of any type was an accomplishment he had only dreamed about. A dream he had given up and then a dream he had dreaded. Now it was everything to him, and he couldn't imagine letting it go. That didn't mean he didn't want to maintain his own name though, rather than having his identity perpetually linked with his mentor just because he was a Third. "It's not like he came up with that nickname though—that was all ShinRa's doing for publicity, wasn't it? And it seems like there's more to it than that…with you and Sephiroth."

"There is," Genesis responded, shifting his gaze back to the monitor as he began typing once more. "I care for him as much as I resent him, to be honest, and that's—"

Cloud could see it on his face already. "A lot."

"Yes. Everything he is frustrates me, but everything he tries to be…it's quite endearing. You'll have to meet him to understand."

He shook his head immediately, eyes wide. "I'll just take your word for it."

"Oh? I thought you wanted to be in the  _Silver Elite—_ you'll have to meet him eventually," Genesis reminded him, and thankfully he was smirking with amusement rather than further annoyance.

"Eventually. When I'm not a total failure anymore."

"You're hardly a failure now," Genesis responded, the words filling Cloud with a surge of pride.

Every time Genesis complimented him or even gave an inadvertent compliment it had the same effect.

He would worry from time to time that maybe he wasn't do as well as he thought—that maybe other new recruits learned faster and trained harder. That just because he was doing well with certain materia didn't mean he was doing well enough overall. A simple word for Genesis erased that self-doubt though, at least for a little while—and it was beginning to feel like 'a little while' lasted longer and longer every time. Genesis wasn't the type to hand out unwarranted compliments. Sometimes words weren't even necessary—there were moments when Cloud could see the approval in his general's eyes or feel it in the air of the room after he learned something new.

When he  _wasn't_ doing so well on a particular spell or sword technique, it was a bit trickier—he was far from the perfect student, even after all this time. It was getting to the point where he could gauge his own progress by Genesis' tone in those situations, noting even the snarkiest comments were just his mentor's way of teasing him. They always came out with a hint of fondness so long as he was genuinely trying his best…and that was something he  _always_ did, even if he doubted whether or not it was paying off from time to time.

"I'm getting better with materia," Cloud conceded, realizing Genesis was still awaiting some kind of response, "but I'm still not there with my sword combat. I do better in my two handed training with Zack than our one handed lessons."

"Your reflexes exceed most Thirds already, and your basic skills are substantial—you just need some real experience rather than practice or VR work to really excel at this point," Genesis told him, his gaze narrowing slightly. "Why are you still working with him? I was under the impression you'd stopped that weeks ago."

Cloud blinked—he hadn't been trying to keep it a secret. He assumed Genesis knew already, the way he _always_ seemed to know so much. "You told me you couldn't teach me with a two handed sword."

"No, I said  _I_ specialize in a one handed blade—it's not as if we have to use the same sword for me to be able to assist you. Even now our blades our different; mine is a rapier and yours is a standard training blade."

"I kind of like getting to learn from both of you," Cloud said after a minute, almost regretting it as Genesis scoffed—but when he thought about how much fun he was having messing around with the different styles, combining several aspects of them...not to mention the fun he was having training with both of them in general—he didn't  _really_ regret it.

"First you're the only Third in history who couldn't use a single materia for  _weeks_ after you enhancements, and now you're the first to ever train under a general and  _still_ seek out extra assistance. I have to say, I'm offended."

"It's not that you don't teach me everything I need," he insisted quickly, "I just like working with Zack too. We've both been so busy that it's the best way to make sure we still get to see each other, since we both need to train anyway."

"Well, go see him then—I've got plenty to do right now anyway," Genesis said, waving a dismissive hand.

Cloud's frown deepened. He'd been expecting Genesis to give him a to-do list while he worked on his reports…or at least a book or something. "But—"

"Go."

Cloud didn't try to argue this time, rising to his feet promptly. There was too much tension in the air to press the subject, and he wondered if it was partly just stress—maybe Genesis had just stretched himself too thin by taking on a student on top of his normal workload.

Not to mention the fact that Zack had always been another touchy subject for Genesis, much like Sephiroth. For a while he'd just assumed it had something to do with ridiculous inter-class rivalries—Cloud usually avoided bringing Zack up in conversations entirely as a result, so it wasn't much of an issue. Now it was beginning to feel like maybe it was something else entirely, but clearly Genesis wasn't keen on providing answers on that front just yet.

The weird thing was, they were  _friends—_ Genesis spent a lot of time with Angeal and Sephiroth, but he mentioned spending time with Zack nearly every week. Most of the Third General's mornings and afternoons were blocked off for training with Cloud, but after that he would return to his office for a while and then be free for the evening. It was a regular part of their morning conversation—what they had each ended up doing the night before. And it wasn't like Zack had any issues with Genesis _—_ the Second had been just as clueless about the whole thing when Cloud had mentioned it.

Whatever the problem was, Cloud hadn't seen Genesis look  _this_ annoyed since before they'd begun training together. They'd have to talk about it another time, when the mood was lighter. He muttered a goodbye, not entirely shocked when it went unanswered, albeit openly disappointed.

He only took a few steps toward the elevator before pulling out his PHS, opting to send Zack a message to see if he was even available.

It wasn't like his friend didn't have other obligations—he was probably busy. Being a lieutenant was a lot more work than Cloud had originally assumed. Now that he knew more about the inner workings of SOLDIER though, it made sense. Standard missions could easily be completed with two man teams, but more difficult ones? Lieutenants like Zack would lead a small group of SOLDIERs into those missions, occasionally including Army personnel on the rare few missions that were deemed a joint operation. Anything that would require more manpower would warrant a First overseeing the operation instead, often alone or with a smaller, handpicked team.

To his surprise, it didn't take long to get a response from Zack this time.

_Meet me outside Angeal's office_

Cloud had barely gotten to the elevator as he read the message, turning around quickly before the door shut him inside. Angeal's office was close by—basically right next to Genesis', so he found himself backtracking the path he just took.

"Hey, Spike!" A familiar exclamation greeted him as soon as he rounded the corner, his eyes flickering up from the ground to see the accompanying smirk and wave. "So, what's up? I thought you were with Gen all day today."

"Uh, I thought so too," Cloud replied, shrugging as he and his friend met halfway. He turned to walk the way he came from, Zack slinging a friendly arm around him as they moved back toward the elevator. "I still don't get him sometimes—most the time he's great, but then once in a while he'll have a day where he acts really weird. Today was kind of…in between."

Zack raised an eyebrow, looking down thoughtfully. "What happened?"

"…We were on our way to the VR, but then I guess Lazard told Sephiroth that there were overdue reports Gen needed to get done," Cloud explained, letting out a short sigh. Paperwork was definitely one of his mentor's weaknesses—he was efficient, and quite capable of  _doing_ it…but there were  _better ways to spend my time,_ Cloud had been told, a small smile curling the edge of his lips—usually that meant grabbing a bite to eat together after training. "So we went back to the office after Sephiroth called him, and then…I guess I kind of pushed him when I shouldn't have."

Zack pressed the call button on the elevator, and they stepped inside together when the doors opened. "Aren't you guys kinda passed the weirdness point by now? He shouldn't—" The elder SOLDIER cut himself off, laughing off whatever he was about to say. "Nah, it's Gen. I guess that's just how he is. He still throws me for a loop sometimes and I've known the guy for  _years._ "

"Yeah…usually I kind of like it now that I'm used to it. Sometimes though…It may have been my own fault, I guess. I asked him about his friendship with Sephiroth, and—"

Zack's laughter interrupted him again, too loud to ignore. "I swear, I'd pay good gil to hear some of the things you two talk about…" He patted Cloud on the back as they stepped off the elevator, his laughter winding down—Cloud wasn't nearly as amused. "Come on! It's funny—my quiet little Spike, asking  _Gen_  about all his touchiest subjects."

"He didn't actually mind talking about that," the blond responded, glancing around curiously—they had stepped off onto the bottom floor of the tower rather than the SOLDIER training floor.

"I'm starving," Zack told him, patting his stomach twice. "I figured we could go eat first, then hit the city for a while."

"I need to—"

"Nah, you need a day off," Zack insisted, his grin too wide for Cloud to continue his protests. "Seriously, you and Gen need to talk—just  _admit_ that you like spending time together insteada bustin' your butt every day just so you have an excuse to see him."

He was sure his face was red, but did his best to narrow his eyes at his friend. "That's not—"

"Spike…we dated, remember?" He just rolled his eyes, not willing to justify that question with a response as Zack chuckled. "I can tell when you're into someone, and uh...it doesn't really happen often. You light up when you talk about him, and it obviously bothers you when he does shit like this. You can look down all you want, but I can see you blushing still."

"Zack…it's not like that," Cloud grumbled quietly, eyes on his boots as they left the building.

"It's cool—we're friends, right? So  _talk_ to me."

"He's my mentor," the blond said with a small shrug. "And my commanding officer. That's all."

"That's all it  _is_ …doesn't mean that's all you want. And hey, I get it—trust me," Zack said, his tone startlingly soft. "I was like that with Angeal for a long time, and ya know…it doesn't hafta be that way. If you want it, you should go for it."

Cloud's eyes went wide as he stared up at his friend, startled by his words. " _What?_  You and Angeal?"

"Don't sound so surprised," Zack muttered, a hand on the back of his neck and the slightest hint of color spreading across his cheeks—it was strange to see. His friend was rarely even remotely bashful about anything, but clearly this topic was one of those special exceptions.

"Didn't you go on three dates last _week?"_  Cloud asked, remembering a conversation or two about those dates—with three different people, too.

"Uh, yeah…well, just because I was into it didn't mean he was, I guess. Doesn't mean I regret talking to him about it though," Zack said, a small smile slowly returning to his face. "Angeal's just…you know what, I'll tell you all about it over lunch. But then you have to open up a bit too, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed hesitantly, the smell of pizza reminding him exactly how hungry he was as they stepped inside the closest pizzeria to the tower. With all the extra training and muscle mass he was building, he was hungrier than ever. Luckily Zack seemed to already know that, ordering a larger size pizza than usual and paying for it before Cloud could even try to pitch in. What was it with people thinking he couldn't pay for himself? "I'm a SOLDIER now," Cloud reminded him as they sat down. "You don't have to pay every time we go out."

"Eh, I don't mind. You help out your mom still, right? I don't really have much to spend my gil on," Zack said, tapping his feet on the tile floor as he sat. "Just games and whatever, really—and you bought the last couple games we've been playing anyway."

"I guess," he relented, feeling a bit better when he remembered Zack was right. Technically they were his own games, but they  _were_  purchased so the two could play together. "So you and Angeal?"

Zack snorted inelegantly. "Quick to get to the point when it's not about you, huh? I see how it is."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want."

"Nah, it may be good—I've been kinda keeping this one to myself a while," Zack admitted, reaching for the salt shaker at the end of the table and absentmindedly fidgeting with it during the pause. "So…I've always looked up to Angeal, for as long as I can remember. He took me under his wing, ya know? I was his first student after they split SOLDIER into three classes. And then…I dunno. I tried dating obviously, but no one's really held my interest—no offense."

"Uh, none taken," Cloud insisted with a laugh.

"He's kinda always been on my mind," Zack continued, not missing a beat, "but he never really showed interest. In me or anyone. I didn't wanna mess things up with him, so I just never said anything—tried to find someone else and hoped it'd just go away."

"Is it even…allowed?" Cloud asked hesitantly, curious for more than one reason.

"Is  _what_ allowed?"

"Getting romantically involved with a superior officer."

Zack blinked, staring at Cloud with bewildered amusement before realizing just how serious the question was—then he laughed softly before responding, "Yeah, it's no big deal. Is that another Army thing?"

"Yeah…technically you're not even supposed to be good friends with superior officers," the blond explained with a frown. "Even when we were off duty, if I was with one of my sargents, we had to keep boundaries—it was always sir, and there was always a clear difference between us, you know?"

"Uh, I don't  _really_ know, but I think I get what you mean," Zack responded, shaking his head. "The Army kinda sucks, huh? Way too many regs."

"They just want to make it so no one gets shown favoritism or—"

"Yeah, that's what they tell you—and I guess it makes sense to some extent. Sounds like just another way to keep everyone in line though. SOLDIER's different. I mean…there's a reason we're so few and that we don't have that same kinda rank structure. Think about it—one SOLDIER can do more than multiple Army squadrons, right?" Cloud gave a reluctant nod of agreement, shuddering to think how many infantrymen it would take to bring down a single SOLDIER. "ShinRa knows that—so  _knowing_ what we're capable of, why would they go out of their way to make us miserable by laying down a bunch of bullshit policies and regulations?"

"…That's a good point," Cloud said thoughtfully, not having considered it before. A disgruntled infantryman was easy to take care of—infantrymen were disposable, clearly. But a disgruntled SOLDIER? The laid back nature of the program made a lot more sense when he looked at it in that light. If ShinRa hoped to keep and control its assets, then it was in the company's best interests to give SOLDIERs more latitude. "I think I like being a SOLDIER more and more every day."

Zack grinned at that comment. "Because now you know you're free to chase after Gen if you want?"

Cloud scowled, kicking his friend under the table. "We're supposed to be talking about  _you_  and Angeal."

"Oh, right…well, obviously a buncha time's gone by, and nothing really changed—how I felt didn't go away," Zack admitted, looking down at the salt shaker with a slight frown. "I finally fessed up to him recently, and he ended up fessin' up to something himself."

Cloud raised both brows, curious, but not wanting to push his friend—it wasn't often Zack held back like this. "Oh?"

Zack set the salt shaker aside, folding his arms on the table and leaning forward. "He and Seph are together," he revealed, his voice hushed. Cloud's eyes went wide, and Zack just stifled a not-quite-bitter laugh. "I know, right? Surprised the hell outta me. They like to keep it private, so don't go telling anyone, okay?"

"Of course not."

"I guess they weren't even really trying to keep it from me. They just keep things business as usual when they're working, so I didn't notice. I hung out with them both all the time, but they're the kinda guys who aren't gonna be all over each other when they have company—I thought they were just really good friends after all these years knowing each other, ya know?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied, trying not to sound as sympathetic as he felt—Zack wasn't the kind of person who wanted anyone's sympathy, no matter how genuine it was. The Second was more concerned with the people around him than himself, to a fault sometimes. Still, his friend's feelings were important to  _him_ , so he had to ask, "Are you okay?"

There was a long pause, only ending when Zack exhaled a big sigh. "I didn't mean to keep anything from you…I woulda told you sooner, I'm just not used to…"

"Rejection," Cloud guessed, his heart sinking for his friend as he nodded dismally.

He hadn't failed to notice that Zack ignored his question, but that was fine—he'd open up more if and when he was ready. Cloud couldn't empathize with the whole situation, but he  _did_ know how rejection in general felt, and it was never an easy thing to discuss.

There was another drawn out pause between them, and he found himself at a loss for what to say in a situation like this—usually hewas the one getting a pep talk, not the other way around.

"Zack…you'll find someone. You're—"

"Looks like ours is ready," Zack cut in, looking around Cloud and toward the counter.

He hopped to his feet, his signature smirk back on his face already as he headed to fetch their pizza. It was amazing what he could keep hidden behind that smirk, Cloud thought, wishing there was something he could say that would  _really_ help his friend. Even if he were like Genesis and could come up with the most elegant, well phrased words of wisdom—which he had no chance of doing—it wouldn't change anything. Time was the only thing that could really soothe that kind of ache.

The dark haired SOLDIER tossed a paper plate in front of Cloud a few seconds later, setting the pizza tray down on the far end of the table as he slid back into his side of the booth.

"So," Zack said, looking to Cloud expectantly, "I think it's your turn to fess up. To me at least—if you're not ready to talk to Gen, it's not like I'll try to make you."

It was Cloud's turn to shift where he sat, opting to use lunch as his distraction instead of a salt shaker—he grabbed his first slice, taking a large bite and forcing it down before meeting Zack's knowing eyes again.

"Okay, fine," Cloud muttered, heat burning from his cheeks all the way up to his ears as he set his food down. He'd started to come to terms with his own feelings, but it wasn't something he'd bothered discussing with anyone—not even Zack. Ever since Genesis had gone from being completely intimidating to impossibly captivating..."I'd have to be crazy  _not_ to like Gen. He's—"

"Uh, you've definitely got it bad if you're saying things like that," Zack informed his younger friend, his laugh light and good-natured again as it filled the air.

"We just seem to click, you know? I can't really explain it," he said, trying to find the right words anyway. It was like all his materia lessons had initially gone—everything seemed straightforward when he read about it in the books, but when it came to using it, something just wasn't working. How he felt for Genesis…on the surface that was also pretty straightforward, but there was something about it that was still too far out of reach. "It's not like he'd waste his time on someone like me anyway."

"Um, he already is—and it's not a  _waste_. Gen doesn't do things he thinks are a waste of his time," Zack said, biting into his slice. He used his finger to separate the gooey cheese stringing between his mouth and the slice, nodding thoughtfully as he chewed. When it looked like he'd reached a conclusion he set it down on his plate, pointing a greasy finger at the blond. "If he's been kinda up and down with you, it's prob'ly because he's feeling the same way and hasn't figured out how to tell you."

"That's not possible," Cloud insisted, completely certain despite the scoff his friend responded with. "He's not the kind of guy who'd hold back—if he felt something, he'd just say it."

"Eh, I dunno. Under normal circumstances maybe," Zack conceded, shaking his head as he snatched a napkin. "He's always been kinda weird about you—every time I try to snoop, he changes the subject."

"You tried to ask him about me?"

"Well...yeah," Zack admitted with an apologetic shrug. "You're my best bud—some of the stuff going on made me curious. Honestly, Gen went out with people all the time before he met you—he has kind of a fanclub going in Midgar, and a lotta those people are into the same kinds of stuff as him. Plays and books and the  _fine arts_ …I don't think he's  _really_ been into anyone in a long time though, so he probably doesn't know how to approach it with you."

"Why would it be any different?"

"He's never gone out of his way for anyone the way he has for you…with the whole conscription thing, and then fighting to get you into Third. Now he's mentoring you. You deserve it, Spike, and I'm not sayin' he's only doing it because he's into in you…I just think there's more going on than he's admitted. All the extra lessons and lunches together, it's gotta mean something."

Cloud tried to consider what Zack had said, but it didn't really add up. "He didn't even know me when he conscripted me, and he'd already decided then he wanted me in Third."

"Yeah…about that." Zack set his food aside, his expression hardening. "I think you should ask him again what happened with all that."

"What do you mean? Do you know something?" Cloud could feel his stomach turning, the same way it still did when he remembered how he ended up in SOLDIER to begin with—the same feeling in his gut when he shot up in bed after a nightmare, or someone or something reminded him of any of his fallen comrades. Gradually it had become easier to handle it when something popped up, but it was beginning to feel like there was no stopping it entirely.

There were still too many questions about that night to really move on, and even Kunsel's source had fallen through. Cloud refused to give up on it, but it seemed like if  _Kunsel_ couldn't get to the bottom of it, no one could.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he'd accepted the fact that he wouldn't learn more until he was a First himself. That was when he'd have access  _and_ a voice—enough authority to speak up about the dysfunctional policies that kept SOLDIER and the Army from communicating effectively.

"I don't wanna make assumptions, but Kunsel and I did enough poking around to know all the ready response teams were out that night, so that just leaves the generals. One of them was in charge of that op, and I know it wasn't Angeal. Honestly, I think you woulda met Seph by now if it was him…That really only leaves Gen. I know you're still lookin' for closure, and I'm not really sure you'll get any, but maybe he'll give you something."

"I asked him to see the reports, but—"

"Nah, don't bother with that—he won't be able to show you. Ask him straight up what happened."

He found himself moving to the edge of his seat, hanging on Zack's every word. "I just want to know why there was an attack in the first place."

"Cloud…I dunno the answer, but I  _do_  know it probably won't make you feel any better. No matter what it was, it's not gonna change the outcome—but if you're still set on knowing, talk to Gen. He might be more willing to open up now that you two are close. Just make sure you really wanna know before you do—once you hear it, there's no going back."

"Why're you saying it like that?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper—Zack was speaking almost ominously though, and he didn't like it.

"Terrorists attack for tons of reasons, and they're usually garbage. Whatever their goal was, it was probably something stupid that wasn't worth killing or dying over. That doesn't mean what you and your squad did wasn't important—they were obviously targeting something in that area, and your squad being there stopped it from going down. Whatever it was they were hoping to accomplish though, it musta been bullshit. Just remember I'm around if you need to talk."

"I'm around too," Cloud responded, trying not to look as wounded as he felt, "if you need me."

"I know—you're a good friend."

The blond nodded, letting out a strained breath as he focused his attention on his plate. He was completely disinterested in food now, but they'd barely put a dent in their pizza. He forced himself to finish the first piece at least, as lost in his own thoughts as Zack now seemed to be. Silent company wasn't what he'd expected around Zack, but…he was glad they were able to support each other in some way, even if words couldn't help this time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thanks as always for reading - I really appreciate you all! ^.^ I'm running out of ways to say it. But I really mean it!

Another week of beating around the bush, and Cloud was nearly ready to burst. Genesis hadn't been up and down at least, but every time the blond was ready to bring up the Sector Eight  _incident_  something seemed to happen—the subject always transitioned seamlessly into another topic, another tidbit, another task...One minute they were deep in conversation, the next words were forgotten entirely as he was being shifted into a new attack stance.

"You should be mission ready by the end of the month," the general informed him, deflecting his sword with practiced ease as Cloud lunged forward.

He came to an abrupt halt, lowering his weapon instantly. "Already?"

"Yes. Your first few missions will be accompanied—assuming they go well, we can look into getting you a Second Class partner afterward," Genesis said slowly. "You do realize this is supposed to be good news, yes? You don't look particularly excited."

"I thought…" he began, his heart sinking rapidly. He knew he'd been making plenty of progress, and remembered Kunsel saying it was up to the mentor when a new recruit was mission ready—but Kunsel had  _also_ said it was usually after a three month period of specialized training. They hadn't even spent two together yet, and surely the couple weeks he spent with Kunsel didn't count for anything. "Don't most people stay with their mentors for longer?"

"I suppose," he replied, raising an eyebrow. "But most people don't have a mentor who understands them so well—you and I share the same approach with materia. Honestly, I could have signed you off two weeks ago. Your box set is almost entirely mastered, so there's no reason to delay the inevitable any longer."

Logically, Cloud was sure that made sense—but logic didn't change the ache he felt inside at the thought. There was no  _way_ he was ready to stop working with Genesis already. "I have tons more to learn—I come up with new questions every day still."

Genesis smiled, softly for a change as he held Cloud's gaze evenly. "It's not as if I won't be available if you truly need me."

"But what about this?" Cloud argued, gesturing between the two with his free hand. "I've never even disarmed you."

"And you won't," Genesis responded with an obnoxiously smug smirk—the type that Cloud _wished_ didn't look so damn good on him. "You're doing much better though. Remember, sword work is your secondary skill set—your primary task will be materia use in the field. Elemental magic is your strong suit, so you'll likely be standing at a distance regardless."

He shifted where he stood, not really liking the sound of that. Fighting at a distance…sure, magic was more powerful than a rifle, but he never wanted to feel so helpless again—curled up and under cover between rounds. He needed to be able to get into the fight without hesitation, up close and personal, and that meant utilizing other skills as well.

"I still do better with the two handed swords."

"There's no rule that dictates you use a single handed sword—if you really prefer a broadsword, let me know the specifications and I can put in the requisition this afternoon," the redhead told him, shaking his head slowly. "What else is bothering you? You've been unfocused since we began."

Cloud frowned deeply, unsure why he was even surprised that his mentor knew his mannerisms so well at this point. He popped his sword onto the magnet sheath on his back, following Genesis toward one of the free benches in the Third Class training room without a second thought—his mind was already preoccupied trying to choose which answer to provide.

"Do you know why the terrorists attacked that night?" Cloud asked as he sat down, his comrades the more pressing priority. It felt wrong to delay this question any longer, especially when it was finally on his mind when he was able to ask—it was one of the reasons he'd forced himself not to quit, time and time again. He'd joined SOLDIER for them just as much as he'd joined to fulfill his old dream.

Genesis didn't look the least bit fazed by the question—he just gave a single nod. "Yes."

"Will you tell me?"

"Yes," he agreed, not showing any signs of reluctance. He didn't continue though.

"…I'm ready."

"This is a discussion for somewhere more private," Genesis told him, and neither needed to look around the room to know he was right—they weren't the only pair in the Third Class training room today, and Cloud knew all too well how simple it was for nosy SOLDIERs to overhear conversations.

That didn't stop him from _wanting_ to demand answers though—he wanted to be furious. Genesis had really known more, all this time…He narrowed his eyes, holding it all back as he felt a familiar flare of heat in his veins. Now that he'd been training more, it was simple to prevent an emotionally spurred materia use at least…but when it came to this topic, nothing was ever truly easy.

"If you knew…" His voice was shaking with effort as he tried to keep a level tone, but it was a lost cause—he shook his head, unable to finish the question.

"I was waiting for you to ask."

"This is the question, isn't it? From that day in your office."

"Yes. I assume you didn't ask at the time because you weren't ready to know."

"I  _did_ ask though, way before that—"

"You asked while you were grieving—you weren't in any state of mind to hear more, so I deflected," the general said simply. Cloud wasn't totally satisfied with that, but it did boost his spirits a tiny bit…maybe there  _had_  been a decent reason for Genesis to refrain from dumping all the information on him. "And to be honest, I felt no obligation to tell you more at the time. Now…"

Cloud offered a small smile, astounded to discover his heart could jump at a time like this. "We're friends."

"Friends?" Genesis scoffed at that, waving a hand dismissively—his eyes were dancing though, and he made no attempt to look away. "I wouldn't say that. We do have a special bond though, don't we?" Cloud gave a nod, his smile growing. "Then I have an obligation to answer your question. I'm not sure how much it will help you though. The answer may just set you back."

"I have a right to know what happened."

"That's why I'm going to tell you," Genesis replied, rising to his feet with purpose. "Shall we go now, or would you like to keep training first? We only have two hours—I have a mission to lead this evening, and I need to prepare."

"Another one?" Cloud asked, arching an eyebrow as he jumped to his feet as well. Usually Genesis told him days in advance when he had missions or meetings so they could schedule their time together accordingly. "I thought—"

"Sometimes things don't happen on a schedule. Angeal and Sephiroth took the last two missions that popped up for one of us, so this one's on me," the redhead explained, waiting for Cloud to decide what he wanted to do. It didn't take any thought—training could wait. He moved to put his training sword away before returning to Genesis' side, the redhead moving toward the door with his usual long stride. Cloud was good at keeping pace with him now without a second thought. "It's outside the city—I'll be gone for a few days this time," he added, too aware that would be the blond's next inquiry.

Cloud slumped as they got into the elevator, almost forgetting that he was trying to bite back his irritation with this man just a moment ago. Really though…just because Genesis knew what happened that night didn't make any of it his fault. He had no right to be frustrated with Genesis about it—he was just frustrated in general, and no amount of misplaced frustration would make him gladthat Genesis was leaving for a few days.

"I wrote up a schedule for you again, and I also spoke with Zack—he's open to working with you on your materia use while I'm away," Genesis said, stepping off the elevator before Cloud even noticed they'd gone up at all.

He barely stepped off before the doors shut again, blinking as he tried to process what his mentor had just said. The two still barely ever discussed their mutual friend…it was strange that Genesis would make a suggestion like that. And with materia? For sword training Zack was the ideal sparring partner, but he'd never done materia work with his friend.

"Zack's a Second."

"Not for long," the general responded shortly.

"What's that mean?"

"It means he was recommended for First quite some time ago, and Sephiroth approved it finally."

"Oh." He couldn't help frowning at that...It was probably something to celebrate on a normal occasion, but he'd been under the impression Zack hadn't wanted to switch yet—he wanted to keep working directly under Angeal. Or he had. Now that he'd spoken to Angeal about his romantic interests though, maybe things were different. Cloud looked up to Genesis hesitantly, the redhead already staring down at him. He couldn't exactly  _ask_ Genesis if that had anything to do with it, but maybe he could ask something else. "Why now?"

"Why not? There are too many missions for the Firsts we have currently—we've needed another for a while, and he's more than qualified for the position. He'll still be based here in Midgar, if that's what you're concerned about."

Cloud nodded, relieved to hear that, but still curious—he knew he'd have to wait until he spoke with Zack to get the kind of answers he was looking for though. He found himself looking around the hallway for a distraction, quickly noticing that he'd aimlessly followed Genesis' lead  _again_ without any awareness of his surroundings. They were on a residential floor, not an office floor. When Genesis came to a halt and slid his keycard at a door, Cloud's eyes widened with realization.

He'd never been to Genesis' personal residence, but he was sure that was where they were.

"You never told me—what is Zack to you?" Genesis asked as he stepped inside, gesturing expectantly when Cloud waited outside the doorway awkwardly.

The question wasn't lost on his ears, but it took a backseat as he walked in, stopping after a few steps and peering around as casually as possible. He heard the door close behind him, and he could feel his mentor standing close by...but the silence felt like permission to continue looking for a minute.

It was essentially a continuation of Genesis' personal office, which left him feeling oddly at home even though he'd never stepped foot inside his mentor's apartment before. The walls were the same color paint, there were paintings by the same artist—even the curtains were the same style. The main differences were the additional typesof furniture—end tables, a coffee table, two large chairs in addition to a longer sofa…Plus what appeared to be several high end electronics. He eyed the TV in particular with envy, imagining how nice his games would look on a flat screen  _that_ big.

Cloud noted the space itself was much larger than his own apartment, though that wasn't entirely shocking given the fact Genesis was not only a First, but a general. Even the kitchen was twice the size of his own. He stole a glance down the hall where he expected the bedroom to be, but all he saw were three closed doors—one was a bathroom, he assumed, the second a bedroom, and the other…a spare bedroom? Maybe it was used as another office. Or maybe it was just a closet or something. Both he and Zack's apartments each only had a single bedroom and bathroom, so he'd never given a thought to what First Classes might have.

Time was up when he felt a hand on his back, guiding him toward the large couch across from the TV. Any more curiosities about the apartment would have to wait until later, which was fine. He wanted to get down to the point too...he wanted to hear about what happened to him and his squad that night in Sector Eight.

The general was still awaiting an answer though—that much was clear when Cloud met his eyes again. "Zack's my best friend," he said, not sure what else  _to_ say on this recurring subject.

"Oh? Is that all?" Genesis asked, his tone taking a slight edge.

"Um…yeah," the blond confirmed, an uneasy hand on the back of his neck.

There was something about the way Genesis responded that finally made it click in his head.

Why did everyone always assume it was more? This wasn't the first time someone had implied he and Zack appeared to be much more than just friends. He was a bit taken aback that  _Genesis_ seemed to be among the people making that assumption though—of all people to think that. If only he knew who Cloud was actually interested in...

He took a deep breath, deciding to just start from the beginning. That was what most people couldn't seem to understand, particularly back when he was still an infantryman—how someone like  _him_ had ended up with a best friend like Zack Fair in the first place. It was also something he usually didn't care to explain. The story wasn't exactly one of his favorites...but it was worth sharing if it meant clearing this up permanently with his mentor.

"When I left home to come to the city, I didn't know  _how_ to join SOLDIER…just that I wanted to," Cloud began, trying not to look as embarrassed as he felt by those particular memories. "So, I was kinda screwed when I got here and there was nowhere to just sign up and join—I found out about recruitment night though, so I showed up for that."

He was barely 16 at the time, still so frail and pathetic in so many ways. Recruitment night was supposed to be his moment though. Potential SOLDIERs were always being sought out, but twice a year ShinRa gave hopefuls the chance to comeshow what they were made of in case anyone worthwhile hadn't been stumbled upon. Otherwise recruits were only found if they happened to catch the eye of a SOLDIER or Turk in the field.

"Have you ever helped monitor recruitment night?" Cloud asked, assuming the general knew all the details of how they worked.

"Unfortunately," he answered dismally. "Never again though—it was an incredibly unproductive use of my time."

Cloud snorted at that, forgetting his own embarrassment for a moment. "Well, then you know they give everyone a set amount of time to make an impression. They supply materia and weapons for people who don't have their own, which I didn't. I didn't even bother with the materia—I had no idea how to use it. The weapons…at mine, they only had broadswords. Big ones, too. I couldn't even pick them up—they were all too heavy," he recalled, surprised that he was able to laugh at himself now—it hadn't been particularly funny at the time. It must have been the first time he'd looked back on the memory without feeling completely mortified, which was an unexpected relief. "I spent the entire time trying  _so hard_ to pick the damn thing up."

Genesis just looked intrigued. "That explains a lot, actually."

"Maybe. I guess I never thought about it like that."

Did he prefer broadswords now because of that humiliating night? If anything, he wanted to forget all about that—now that he was actually in SOLDIER, that was all supposed to be behind him.

He shrugged off the thought, continuing with his story, "I obviously didn't impress anyone that night. I kinda…was beating myself up after, and that was when Zack first came up to me. I didn't even see him in the group watching, but he saw me apparently, and…I don't know. I don't know why he followed  _me_  out that night. Basically everyone who showed up didn't get the invite to boot camp, so it wasn't like I was the only one who was upset. Something about liking my determination—he said most guys quit after one or two tugs if they can't lift it, but I kept going the whole time. I didn't really believe him, but I'm glad it happened—it's been great ever since. I hadn't really made any friends since coming here, and all of a sudden I had a SOLDIER who seemed really cool, who was walking up to me and asking to hang out."

As far as he was concerned, there had never been any 'dates', so that joke wasn't even worth mentioning. This was the way  _he_ remembered meeting Zack, without a single doubt in his mind.

He paused there, frowning as it occurred to him he usually didn't tell such long stories—Genesis was the one who could go on and on, never leaving him bored for even a second. Everything he was saying...so much of it was uneventful, but the redhead didn't look bored in the least either—if anything, it was the opposite. Genesis looked very interested, watching him carefully and waiting to hear more, it seemed. For a moment he let himself get lost in the man's gaze, taking his time before trying to remember where he left off or what else to say about it.

"I don't usually open up or make friends very easily…or I hadn't, ever. But something's always been simple about spending time with Zack. You know how he is. We kept hanging out, and then he kept offering to help me train every time. Eventually I caved in and said yeah—I'd joined the Army in the mean time because I needed a job and thought it'd help me learn more about combat, but…well, you know. I didn't learn much, and I didn't know about conscription and all that at the time. I thought I could just put in a few years and then go back to another recruitment night after."

"Hm," the redhead muttered in acknowledgement. He gave Cloud a look, as if debating the truth in all his words…and then he nodded, apparently ready to accept them. "So you're not in a relationship with him."

It wasn't a question this time, but it still felt like it warranted an answer. "No. I never have been," Cloud told him very clearly. "And I definitely don't want to be. Neither does he—he's got someone else on his mind too."

"Too?" Genesis repeated, raising both brows.

Cloud bit his lower lip at the word slip, growing acutely aware of the fact that Genesis was sitting incredibly close. He'd taken the far seat of the couch, Genesis falling to the space by his side—but at some point they had both begun edging in closer, their legs pressed against one another's innocently enough.

The arm that was now draped around his shoulders, and the way they were both leaning in closer still… _that_  seemed a lot more deliberate.

"Um…Gen, is that why…"

A familiar surge ran down his spine as he watched the man's eyes flicker down to his mouth, and he promptly lost track of whatever it was he was about to say. He cursed his perpetually red face, sure that it had something to do with the smirk that was tugging at the corner of Genesis' mouth.

"Ask me," he murmured as he met Cloud's eyes once more.

"You always get so annoyed when I'm the one who brings Zack up—is that why? Because you thought I was in a relationship with him?"

Genesis just snorted, the sound enough to slow Cloud's heart back down momentarily. "I was mildly concerned he was distracting you, yes."

"That's all?" Cloud pressed, not even trying to hide his disappointment. It didn't change the pull he felt toward Genesis though, and it didn't stop either of them as they continued with every painfully slow movement that was bringing them closer and closer together.

"I had an interesting conversation with Angeal recently, and most of my concerns were proven unnecessary—I assume Zack wouldn't be confessing his love to Angeal if he were in a relationship with you."

"Then why ask me about it now?"

"Just because his heart is elsewhere doesn't mean yours is…I must admit, I'm curious still. Where  _is_  your heart, Cloud?" the redhead asked softly, his face so close Cloud could feel the warmth of his breath grazing his face.

"You really don't know?"

"It seems most of my assumptions are wrong when it comes to you, and have been since the day we met…I'd prefer if you just told me."

"I have a feeling you're right this time," Cloud muttered, barely able to keep up with the slow dance they seemed to be stuck in—Genesis' small smile was practically inviting him to just take the final leap and seal what little distance remained between them.

Before he could though, the redhead brought a gentle hand to Cloud's cheek, running his thumb over it carefully as he held the blond's gaze. "I should tell you then, before we find out…" Genesis said, his quiet words pushing Cloud over the edge.

Why did Genesis have to choose  _now_ to be patient? He felt a rush of certainty, fully aware that his heart wasn't the only one racing—fully aware Genesis' eyes were glowing with a desire to match his own. Everything else could wait a damn minute because they'd been waiting long enough...He pressed his lips to Genesis', firmly at first—then he softened, grazing them almost delicately as the current that had brought them together began to wash over him. Before he could fully grasp that it was even happening though, the redhead had pulled back just slightly.

He let out a low gasp, his question filled eyes seeking answers in Genesis'.

"The reason you're here right now…so much of what's happened to you…You deserve to hear the truth first."

Neither pulled back, but neither dared lean in again—instead they stared at one another, intimately close as Cloud attempted to understand what Genesis was saying. It was hard to think about anything other than what was happening between them _right now,_ but he tried—it sounded like whatever Genesis was saying was important. The way he spoke…it wasn't a fluid, eloquent statement like Genesis normally made. The hesitation between his words, the flare of concern rising in his eyes…maybe racing hearts and tempting lips would have to wait a minute after all.

"Truth?" Cloud said, almost like he was testing the word.

"Anti-terrorist operations are always overseen by a First Class SOLDIER, and the operation your squad was mixed up in was one of mine. We were aware there would be an attack, but the location had yet to be determined. There were three potential sites, and Turk intel indicated the one in Sector Six was most likely. My team didn't get the report about your squad being under fire until it was far too late."

"Why didn't you—"

Genesis just nodded in understanding, not needing to hear more. "I had the opportunity to notify the Army in advance, and I elected not to—it wasn't as if we required any assistance, and they would have ignored a request to keep their men off the streets for the evening if it came from me. I'm still certain nothing would have changed."

" _Everything_ would've changed! We would have been scanning for landmines if we knew, and—"

"If I had sent that notification to the Army, it never would have trickled down to you. My men still would have been waiting in Sector Six and your men still would have died."

He'd gone down this road before—the one filled with  _what ifs_ and  _what abouts_ …it never helped. That was when he was thinking about it in terms of a hypothetical SOLDIER running the operation though. This felt like an entirely different situation now.

"Is that why I'm here?" Cloud asked, shaking his head as he tried desperately to keep himself together.

"No. You're here because you chose to be—because you  _want_ to be, I would hope. The opportunities that presented themselves to you after that night weren't all mandatory. Joining SOLDIER was ultimately a choice, and it was one you earned. Everything that's happened since—"

"That's why you picked me, isn't it? Why you went out of your way—you just felt bad because your mission went wrong?"

"No. You know me, Cloud—I wouldn't waste my time having anyone conscripted out of pity or anything of the sort. I told you this before, and I'll tell you again…what happened to your squad was unfortunate, but it's not on my conscience. The terrorists are the ones to blame in that regard, and they're gone now."

"Then why am I here?" he asked again, this time the quiver escaping his mouth with the words.

"When I saw what you did that night—"

His desire to stay calm was shattered by those words. " _Saw?_ You were…you were  _there?"_

"It was my team," Genesis responded simply.

"I thought you meant you organized the mission! That they reported to you—that's what you said back then, that first day we met! You said you saw the reports and—"

"I know what I said," he interjected, his steady tone unaffected despite Cloud's readily apparent frustration. "It was a necessary omission."

Cloud scoffed, growing tense where he sat—thankfully Genesis seemed to sense it, leaning further away to give him some space.

Omission…it felt more like an outright lie than anything. After all this time. Even if he couldn't say that first day, after everything they'd told each other—all the conversations they'd had now...

"How much did you see?" he managed to ask—that was the important question here.

"Just the tail end of the fight. One of your comrades had stepped up to attack, but we were too far out to be of any assistance. Two men were closing in on you when we arrived—we were getting into position, but you reacted before we could strike."

"The first time?"

"Yes."

"Why then? Why didn't I see you? I got up after that, and I—"

"I know. I told my men to hold their attacks," Genesis told him, finally dropping his gaze. "You were safe for the moment—I wanted to give you the chance..."

"The chance to  _what?"_

"I wanted to see what else you had in you."

A choking sensation lumped up in his throat, but that was fine—there were no words left to say anyway. He looked to Genesis with narrowing eyes...this man he had grown to know and care for—grown to  _admire._ Suddenly he looked very different. What he knew to be warm and light felt far too cold now.

"I need to leave," Cloud whispered, his voice still as lost as his jumbled thoughts.

He rose to his feet, sure of that much at least—sure this wasn't the place to sort through it all. Not under his stare. This was personal, and Cloud dealt with personal best on his own.

"Don't you want to know more about the attack—about why the terrorists were there to begin with? That's what we came here to discuss."

"I can't right now."

"I'll be going out of town—"

"I don't care," he replied harshly, shrugging as best he could with the weight he felt on his shoulders.

He moved toward the door, reliving those moments—reliving  _that night_ …all with a new perspective. One that made him doubt who and what he'd  _chosen_ to become. He was a Third Class SOLDIER now…if he'd been on that mission, would he have obeyed? Waited to see what some pathetic trooper would do in that situation? Not even one real mission under his belt, and he already wasn't quite so sure.

"I want you to stay," Genesis told him, his tone too calm as he rose to his feet as well.

"Are you asking or ordering?"

"Cloud…I'm asking. Please stay. We don't have to talk if you're not ready—just don't go yet."

He couldn't even bring himself to look back at that man, shaking his head decisively. "I'll see you when you get back."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so last week ended up being a bit crazier than expected. And this chapter is shorter than usual - I'm going to try my best to post the next chapter today though, to make up for it. Just gotta find the time to edit this afternoon ^.^ Thanks so much for your patience, and for sticking with me through all this! You've all been lovely and it's definitely appreciated. I'll be back very soon!

* * *

Apparently when Genesis had mentioned talking to Zack about training, he'd already made arrangements for the dark haired SOLDIER to meet Cloud that next morning. It wasn't until Zack showed up at his door that he was made aware of those arrangements, though technically he couldn't blame Genesis for not getting around to telling him that part, he supposed.

After his  _talk_ with his mentor, he'd gone back to his own apartment and spent most the night brooding—thinking in circles about what an assholeGenesis was before deciding that he wasn't really an asshole at all. Eventually he'd reached both conclusions too many times to count before falling asleep entirely.

It felt like a strange turn of events, having Zack show up at  _his_ door first thing in the morning...but by now, he'd disturbed his friend's sleep too many times to count, so he could hardly complain about it. Even if he wasn't exactly feeling up to the company right now. He only grumbled a little before getting ready, glad his friend was willing to skip hitting the gym entirely in favor of headed straight to the training halls. There were a lot of unspoken questions in the air about his mood, but thankfully Zack wasn't pressing the issue—he seemed content in the silence too.

For a minute at least. "Did ya hear the news?" Zack asked, apparently when he'd had enough of the quiet.

Cloud didn't register the question at first, lost in thought still until Zack gave his shoulder a light whack. "What news?" he asked, smirking as it hit him—he knew exactly what Zack was talking about. It was the one thing he  _could_ be happy about right now...assuming his friend was happy about it too. "You mean the bit about how everyone's cool with us training together now? Since you're not really a Second anymore?"

"Yep!" Zack exclaimed, slinging an arm around Cloud's shoulders and pulling him in for a noogie. Cloud groaned, shoving back against Zack—he was both surprised and pleased when his efforts actually got his older friend to take a small step back. "Whoa, look at you! That's gotta be a first. Maybe I'm not the only one movin' up around here," he joked, his smile only growing as he released Cloud.

The blond rubbed the back of his neck as he nodded, sure that it was a first—granted, he hadn't really  _tried_ to push Zack away even playfully since his enhancements. He'd never gotten his friend to budge before that though...if he escaped, it was always from squirming out of Zack's grip, and usually only when Zack allowed it.

"I can't wait to be a First."

"You'll be there in no time," his friend assured him, drawing his sword as Cloud went to go grab a training sword for the day. "Did Gen say when you'll be mission ready?"

He looked down at the Second Class training rack, taking his time to pick out which to use. He'd finally moved up to a thicker sized broadsword, though it wasn't quite the size of Zack's—and still only a quarter of the size Angeal lugged around everywhere. Once he was content with his selection, he took his stance across from his friend, casually ignoring the question.

"Uh…Spike?" Zack asked, arching an eyebrow. He lowered is blade, his amused stare filling with curiosity. "You're a SOLDIER now—you can't get away with pretending not to hear me."

"He said by the end of the month," Cloud responded shortly, not bothering to lower his own blade. "And he  _also_ said he'd requisition me a two handed sword if I really wanted."

"Nice! Are you gonna take him up on that?"

"Yeah. I'm not  _that_ bad with the one handed swords, but this just feels…better?" he tried to explain, though he had no other reason—his training was coming along nicely with both. Zack nodded in silent understanding. "Will you still train with me after I start taking missions?"

"Hell yeah. Training doesn't stop just because you're not  _in training_ anymore—it's a daily thing, even for Firsts," Zack told him, raising his blade again. "Still gotta hit the gym, still gotta keep your reflexes sharp, still gotta—"

"Meet your squat quota for the day?"

Zack laughed at that, finally making his first approach. "If you want a sexy ass like mine, yeah!" he exclaimed as their blades clashed, lightly to start. He jumped back several feet in a swift motion before moving in once more. "Why do I feel like you changed topics to avoid talking about something?"

Cloud just swung his sword, meeting Zack's in the air between them—normally he'd try to parry and begin thinking of his own counter attacks at this point, searching for whatever weakness Zack decided to leave open this time, but his mind was too scattered.

"Do you wanna talk about why you decided to accept your promotion?" Cloud countered, raising a brow as he swiftly sidestepped Zack's next swing.

"Uh...it's a promotion. It's not optional."

"I'm pretty sure you could've talked Angeal into not recommending you for it if you wanted to stay Second."

"Yeah, well, maybe I didn't wanna stay Second—it's everyone's dream, right? To be First?"

"Maybe. I didn't think it was yours though. I remember what you said that day—about liking where you're at," Cloud told him carefully. Zack let out an uncomfortable sigh, shifting his sword to just one hand and shrugging helplessly...it was painful to witness. He looked so unlike himself. "It's fine—we don't have to talk about it today."

"…I take it that's only applicable if I stop prodding you?"

"That'd be nice."

Zack stared at him hard for a minute before giving a nod. "Deal. Hey, why don't you use some materia while we work today? You're gonna have to start multitasking more if you're getting ready for missions—show me what you can do."

"While we're sparring?"

"Yep. Don't worry, I can take a hit—plus, I've got a restore materia on me just in case. Do you have any on you? It's not like the Third Class training room—we don't keep spares here."

"Um…kind of," he responded, lowering his sword and reaching into his pocket. He didn't usually bother equipping anything in his bracer on days he trained with Zack, but…he reluctantly pulled his fire materia out from his pocket.

"Good luck charm?" Zack guessed, a small smile on his face as Cloud nodded. "That's perfect—maybe you'll get lucky and hit me with it!"

* * *

The second day of training while Genesis was gone went much like the first—they worked hard, added in some materia use to their routine, and then spent the evening unwinding and casually not pressing each other for more information. The third day they couldn't train—Zack had meetings and paperwork to take care to finalize his promotion. By the fourth day, Zack was too busy being congratulated for them to get much work done between interruptions…and on the fifth day, something entirely unexpected happened.

"Cloud. How are you?"

The blond froze momentarily, stunned as he stared up at Angeal. The warm smile on the man's face melted his nerves quickly though, and he smiled up awkwardly in return. "I'm doing good—how are you, sir?"

"…I'm well. And you can call me Angeal, remember?" he asked, amused as Cloud's face went red. What was with these generals? Were they so casual with everyone? At least he  _knew_  Genesis now, but…his heart sank at the thought of his own general, and he couldn't quite finish the other thought. "Don't worry about it. Zack asked me to swing by to let you know he couldn't make it today. It wasn't his fault—a mission came up, and Lazard insisted we send our newest First out to take care of it."

That brought the smile back to his face. "It's no problem—I'm glad he got an assignment already. He talks pretty big, but I think he was dying to actually prove himself, you know?"

"I know," Angeal agreed, an unmistakable fondness in his voice. "What kind of work was he helping you with? I was under the impression you were doing well with Genesis' training regime."

"Oh…I am. Or, I think I am—Zack helps me with two handed training though. We've been working in a bit of materia use at the same time, but not a ton. Is he going to be gone for a while?"

"I'd say two days—the mission itself won't be time consuming, but it's a long ride via transport."

Cloud frowned. "Why doesn't he take the helicopter?" he asked slowly. Most missions that required a First were priority for the company helicopter, as he'd learned from Genesis.

"It's a joint op—he's leading a handful of men, so they're riding together."

"…Joint op?" he asked, his interest piqued.

"With the Army. One of their supply stations was overrun by some creatures—the reports were inconclusive, but it sounded like some type of mako exposed hounds. Normally SOLDIER would handle a situation like that independently, but since it's one of their supply stations it became a joint operation," he explained carefully, his calm tone keeping the slight anxiousness Cloud felt at bay. "Would you like help with your training? I'm not the best materia user around, but I  _did_ teach Zack everything he knows about sword fighting. I'm sure I could keep you busy for the afternoon."

"Why aren't there more joint ops?" Cloud asked instead, training the furthest thing from his mind. Angeal raised both brows at the question, and Cloud took his silence as permission to present his case. "Or at least better communication. It just seems like it would be beneficial for the Army and SOLDIER to work together more. If everyone were in the loop all the time—"

"Your logic works only under the ideal circumstances. I wish I could say otherwise, but the truth is, the circumstances of most missions aren't ideal. More often than not, the work we do isn't safe for Army personnel, so we go in alone. It's only necessary to work together when our mission prerogatives overlap."

"We all work for ShinRa—our goals are always the same."

"Our overall goals are the same. What we do to accomplish those goals is often drastically different. The Army maintains a presence, effectively preventing civilian uprisings or another situation like we had in Wutai. SOLDIER…we can accomplish more than the Army, with less personnel—but that's difficult for the general public to fathom. What we do can also be somewhat…disturbing, some would argue. The creatures we face or terrorist threats we handle would only incite panic if everyone knew—that's why those types of missions are considered special ops. They're handled strictly on a need to know basis."

"So I didn't  _need to know_ that I was walking into a terrorist ambush? Or  _why_ it happened in the first place _?_ "

"Cloud," Angeal said, a firm hand on the younger man's shoulder, "I understand your frustration, and I think you're asking the right questions—but you're asking the wrong person. Genesis will be back tomorrow. Would you like help training in the mean time?"

When he looked up into Angeal's eyes he saw nothing but kindness there, but he was  _so sick_ of having his questions about this deflected. "I'm not asking the wrong person—you know just as much as he does!"

"I'm not denying it. And I'm inclined to agree with your overall assessment—there  _should_ be more communication with the Army and the public about what we do instead of just the photo-op moments that get used to promote the company. But what's bothering you is something personal, not the overall situation. I can answer your questions, but Gen's the only one who can actually help you with this."

"Do you know what he did to me?" he asked, his gaze finally falling to the floor.

"...Has he spoken with you about that night?"

Cloud's eyes shot up from the ground, narrowing instantly. He wanted to rant, put off by the slight surprise in Angeal's tone—but when he met the man's eyes again, he could see plainly what the Second General had already told him. He was talking to the wrong person.

"Yeah," he answered, breathing out some of his anger slowly. "Before he left."

Angeal almost looked relieved, nodding his head in understanding. "I know what happened, and I know he's been haunted by nearly every decision he made that night ever since. But Cloud—I also know he wasn't the one who killed your comrades. He absolutely would have saved them if he could have. We all find ways to live with the fact that we can't save everyone, but sometimes…it's not always easy. And for Gen, knowing how it affects you only makes it more difficult. You may not realize it, but you mean a lot to him."

"I thought I did," Cloud muttered, trying to steady his heart beat with a deep breath—it felt like it helped at first, but then he exhaled and it hit him all over again. "But he…he just  _waited._ He  _watched_ me and waited, like I was just some kind of entertainment or—"

"I think you should talk to him about this more when he gets back," the Second General suggested. "All I can do is tell you that I'm certain your struggle wasn't entertaining to him in the least. That he  _wanted_ to help you more than he was able to. The rest, I think you need to hear from him."

"I can't talk to him," the blond responded, shaking his head dismally.

"Cloud...even if you don't want to do it for him, you need to do it for yourself. You need to understand," Angeal told him, eyes full of apology as he gestured for Cloud to follow him away from the training hall.

He was thankful the general wasn't going to press him on the subject, not really ready to say more himself. "Where are we going?" he asked after a minute.

"If we're going to talk instead of train, it may as well be private," Angeal explained simply. "Specific questions about what happened to you will have to wait until Genesis returns—we can discuss your thoughts on our current communication policies now though. You have a unique perspective, coming from the Army. I'd like to hear more from you."

Cloud was slightly taken aback, but nodded his head a few times in response.

By the time the elevator doors closed, the boldness he'd felt was lost and he was overrun by nerves. Sure he'd met Angeal a few times now…but they were hardly close. If anything, it felt like he knew the man just from hearing about him from Zack and Genesis—that didn't mean the two  _actually_ knew each other though.

It seemed weird, having another general offering to assist him personally—even weirder how quick  _he_ was to press the general for information instead of minding his place. Granted, Genesis really had done an excellent job at breaking him of a lot of those Army habits and tendencies—being a lesser rank here didn't make him lesser the same way it did in the Army, and he knew that now.

Plus, Angeal really seemed to be everything Zack described him to be—kind, warm, and open minded. He was large and somewhat intimidating to  _look_ at, but that was only at a quick glance. Upon closer inspection, the man's body language was welcoming—even his frowny eyebrows were deceiving, showing only thought or amusement rather than anger.

Or maybe he'd just never find anyone intimidating again—not after how it had been when he met Genesis. Surely no one could top the affect Genesis had on him that first day they'd met…

"You're smiling," Angeal noted as they stepped off the elevator and onto the office floor. "That's a good sign."

He tried to look serious upon hearing the words, but it didn't seem to matter—Angeal was already smiling back, and it wasn't like he knew  _why_ Cloud was smiling. There was no wiping it off his own face at that point.

"I was just thinking…it's almost like I know you already. Even though we've only talked a few times."

"I could say the same—Zack and Genesis tend to go on about you without even realizing they're doing it."

Cloud just scoffed at that. Maybe if he'd believed it he would have blushed, but it seemed pretty unlikely. "They must have better things to talk about."

"You're not giving yourself enough credit," Angeal insisted with another kind smile. "Genesis in particular is a difficult man to please. You must be doing something right."

Before Cloud realized it, the general was sliding a keycard and stepping into an office, holding the door for Cloud to step through. It took the blond a minute to make the connection—maybe he'd never been into Angeal's office, but he still knew where it was. He'd met Zack outside the door frequently enough.

This…was not Angeal's office. His eyes went wide as the door shut behind him, feline like green eyes pinning him where he stood.

"Seph, this is Cloud, our newest Third. Cloud, this is Sephiroth—don't let him fool you. He may look serious, but you don't need to worry about the formalities with him either. Not behind closed doors at least—best not to go around calling him Sephy in the halls though."

It was probably supposed to be a joke, but Cloud definitely wasn't laughing.

As it turned out, he  _could_ be just as intimidated as he'd been when he met Genesis—maybe even  _more_ intimidated, despite the fact the man hadn't even said a word. It wasn't the heart racing, oddly thrilling type of intimidation either—it was a bizarre mixture of awe and fear, gripping him from head to toe.

This man was a legend—the reason he'd originally been interested in joining SOLDIER before things had fallen to shit in the Army. And now that Cloud was  _in_ SOLDIER, he knew Sephiroth was a lot more than that too. Genesis had joked about Cloud meeting the First General, and he knew it would likely happen at some point in his career…but he honestly hadn't expected it to happen for a few years at least. He wasn't mentally ready for this today.

Cloud gulped, praying futilely that his anxiousness wasn't obvious to either men as he nodded his head several times. Angeal's words had finally caught up to him. As if he'd call General Sephiroth  _Sephy_ publicly…or privately for that matter. Or even mentally—Sephiroth would probably  _know_ if it crossed his mind, and he did  _not_ want to get on this man's bad side.

It took him a moment before he noticed both generals were looking at him still, waiting for an actual response. "Understood, sir," he managed, not quite sure who he was even directing it to at that point—so much for being broken of his old habits…

His formal response elicited a deep chuckle from Angeal, who clapped him on the back before beckoning him closer to the desk. Somehow Cloud moved his feet, relieved when the Silver General's stare slid over to Angeal. He took a seat by Angeal's side in one of the two chairs positioned across from the desk, sitting as straight and stiff as he could while the two elder SOLDIERs eyed one another. Angeal looked mildly amused, and Sephiroth…Cloud wasn't sure what to make of his expression.

Angeal broke the silence first. "Cloud and I were discussing the communication failures between the Army and SOLDIER, and I thought he had some good points—maybe you could hear him out?"

Sephiroth seemed to consider the question, though his expression didn't change. "Is Genesis aware of this meeting?"

"No, but he should be back tomorrow—we can discuss it with him then. I'll talk to him first, don't worry."

Sephiroth nodded, and Cloud found himself wondering if it was just a talent Angeal had—if he could just tell anyone not to worry or concern themselves over something, and they would be inclined to listen. Maybe it was his tone, or his subtle charisma…

When he caught Angeal winking at Sephiroth though, he couldn't help but smile a little—he'd almost forgotten what Zack told him about these two generals. They were a couple…if he hadn't known that in advance, he never would have suspected. Maybe  _that_ had something to do with Sephiroth not being immune to Angeal's reassurances.

"Very well," Sephiroth said finally, shifting his gaze to Cloud once more.

There was nothing demanding or expectant about his stare, but there didn't need to be—Cloud could take a hint. He forced his nerves aside, realizing this was  _it_. This was an opportunity he might not get again any time soon, and while he hadn't expected it and wasn't prepared…he needed to make it count.

If anyone could go to Lazard and demand a change, it was Sephiroth.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Second chapter of the day, as planned ^.^ It's only been a few hours, so just a heads up to anyone who missed it - Chapter Fifteen was just posted earlier this afternoon, and parts of this chapter won't make sense if you haven't read that yet. I'll be back with more hopefully next weekend. Thanks again everyone!

 

* * *

Zack returned before Genesis, which hadn't been expected—apparently the Third General's mission had a few  _technical difficulties,_  leading to an extension. Of course, no one could tell Cloud the specifics  _of_ that mission, but he knew it was important. A First wouldn't lead a mission otherwise, especially not Genesis—all Angeal would say was that the redhead was still  _behind enemy lines_ , but would likely return within another five days.

It was hard to remember that he was angry with Genesis when he spent his spare time worrying. There was probably no reason to be concerned—it was  _Genesis_ , and he would be fine. But this had never happened on one of his missions before—not since Cloud had joined the program at least. Genesis was always so prepared and in control…obviously not all of his missions went perfectly, but it was hard to imagine what could have possibly delayed his return by  _five_ additional days.

The solution to his concern was straightforward at least—stay busy. Zack's return made that fairly simple. The new First's mission had been a huge success, and he was more than happy to celebrate with his younger friend.

They'd eaten way too much junk food, played games until their thumbs hurt (which took quite a while with their enhancements), drank enough beer to actually feel it for a few minutes, and…well, they  _relaxed._ They didn't talk about anything stressful, or prod each other for more information than either were ready to give…the conversation was light and fun, with the unspoken understanding that they would be ready and willing to lend an ear when the time came for either to touch on any deeper conversation topics.

It wasn't all fun and games though. While Zack was working on his report and going to meetings the next day, Cloud trained rigorously by himself before they met up in the early evening…and then they did it all over again.

It wasn't until the following day that they decided to buckle down again—Zack was free from reports and meetings (and moving into his new office, which was apparently something  _all_ Firsts were given in the city they were stationed in), so he took the lead in helping Cloud train again. The blond was lifting more than ever in the gym, making his fastest run times, and really feeling more in control of his enhancements than ever. Sword fighting was still his favorite part of training with Zack though, always.

"That was awesome, Spike!" Zack exclaimed, smiling broadly as his magic barrier ate one of the fiercest bolt spells Cloud had ever managed.

A barrier Cloud had cast himself, before their latest bout began. All the while the blond kept moving, blades clashed like he wasn't preoccupied with the cast. Physically and mentally, it was quite draining to do simultaneously—but he was doing pretty well at not letting it show. The more he practiced like this, the easier it became to multitask.

Of course, it didn't take  _too_ long before Zack had him disarmed—the First's encouraging grin never wavered though. "You get better every time—your casts are way stronger than mine already."

Normally Cloud would scoff at such a compliment, sure his friend was just trying to make him feel better after a defeat, but even with his self-doubts he couldn't deny it—Zack was right. When it came to using materia, Cloud was definitely the better of the two…he was able to manage tier three spells with all of his mastered materia, which was all but a single one from the box set he'd been issued. Restore was still a bit tricky, but more often than not, neither needed more than a quick cure after sparring.

Zack didn't waste much time casting during their fights, but when he did, it seemed like mostly tier one casts and strictly used as a diversion rather than with any intention of doing damage—he was  _definitely_ more skilled at strategic maneuvers like that than Cloud, even if his casts were weaker. And he obviously still held the upper hand with sword combat in general, but that was to be expected. Cloud had only been training as a SOLDIER for a couple months...Zack had several  _years_ of actual experience. Not to mention he was one of the youngest SOLDIERs ever, and had been promoted to First for a few very good reasons. Even with his infectious laugh, broad smile, and carefree attitude Cloud could see it very clearly—Zack would be an absolutely lethal force in a real combat situation.

"I practiced a bit while you were gone," Cloud explained with a shrug, an absolute understatement.

Really he'd spent countless hours alone in the Third Class training room, mindlessly casting on the training dummies until he was too drained to continue. It was strange to believe there was a time when he couldn't get off a single cast now that he was capable of so many. Angeal had also insisted on a few sword lessons beginning after their impromptu meeting with Sephiroth, though those hadn't involved any materia usage aside from the barriers Cloud put up before they began and again as they wore off. That had been an interesting experience—it was obvious how much Zack's style was based off Angeal's, but his different variation had thrown Cloud off guard completely. That man was an brick wall, indomitable it seemed—he was also filled with more praise and advice than Cloud could handle.

"Well, it's paying off, bud," the First told him, twirling his sword around like it was a pencil before slapping it onto the magnet sheath on his back. Cloud took that as a hint that they were wrapping it up for the day, quickly moving to return his sword to the rack. "And you're up to a heavier sword, too—you're definitely packing on the muscle, eh?"

The blond just laughed, looking down at himself—he knew his muscles were getting more defined, but most days he still felt pretty scrawny. "I guess."

"Probably would help if we'd stop with the pizza and snacks, huh?"

"Nah. We're SOLDIERs—if we can't work it off, who can?"

Zack grinned again, slinging an arm around Cloud's shoulders. "That's the right attitude. C'mon, let's go get milkshakes or something—it's too stuffy in here to keep going."

"Milkshakes? Is that how you train him every time I'm gone?"

Cloud froze, eyes wide as they found the source of the slightly incredulous question leaning in the doorway to the Second Class training room. It looked like he was inadvertently blocking a couple Seconds from entering, but it also looked like he didn't give a damn—his eyes were on Cloud alone, and Cloud's were on him.

"Gen," he whispered, stepping forward without further hesitation.

Zack remained where the two had come to a halt, a small smile as he watched the student and mentor come face to face. Genesis moved inside, only taking a single step toward Cloud as the blond closed the rest of the distance between them—even from across the room he could see how exhausted the Third General looked. His hair was ruffled in a way Cloud had never seen, his eyes dimmer, and his expression…it was more than just concern about how their last conversation had gone—he looked weary, and no matter how tall he tried to stand or how much confidence he tried to exude, Cloud could tell.

He all but threw himself into the general's arms, latching on tightly—no amount of anger or frustration could stop him. None of that even felt like it mattered, really. For just a minute there was only one thing that was important.

Genesis was back.

And despite appearances, the redhead seemed entirely unharmed—he offered no protest, his arms finding their way around Cloud's waist almost instantly. The Seconds who had been waiting in the doorway had entered, and Cloud was sure they were watching, but he really didn't care. He nestled into Genesis' chest, not minding the thin layer of dirt that was apparent on the soft fabric of his sweater—not minding the faint smell of blood and sweat in the air. He could still smell  _Genesis,_ and that kept his heart racing through it all. The steady sound of his heartbeat, the warmth of his presence... _that_ was all he wanted to think about.

"Welcome back, Gen," Zack said, finally walking over to the two. His voice pulled Cloud back from the overwhelming relief he'd felt upon seeing Genesis, and he knew his minute was up—slowly some of the tension began to creep back out as he released his grip on the man. "So, wanna come with? Or do you wanna steal Spike for training or something?"

Genesis scoffed, dusting off a bit of the dirt that had brushed off onto Cloud's uniform top. "I'm in no mood for training—a milkshake though, may be exactly what I need right now."

"Alright! My treat then!" Zack declared, stepping between the two and throwing an arm around each.

Cloud wondered briefly if Zack felt the awkwardness rising between them, or if he was just being Zack. Either way he was grateful for his friend, and thankful again when he filled the silence with questions for Genesis…not serious ones about the mission, but simple ones about which milkshake flavor he preferred. It gave Cloud the time he needed to come to grips with what was happening—to find a temporary balance between the happiness and hesitation tugging on his erratic heart.

It turned out the answer was strawberry for Genesis, apparently—Cloud preferred a plain vanilla while Zack ended up with some sherbert monstrosity that never should have been invented. That had become the next talking point of the outing though, so Cloud supposed it  _did_ have its purposes. The conversation had stayed simple after that, guided mostly by Zack who never missed a beat…both he and Genesis only seemed to speak when prompted by their mutual friend, otherwise keeping their attention mostly on their own thoughts and milkshakes.

It was terribly nice, Cloud thought at one point—spending time together with two people he cared about at the same time. But the tension in the air was out of place, and so was the way he couldn't bring himself to look in Genesis' direction for more than a split second. He didn't dare risk making eye contact, too afraid of what he might see there—too afraid of what he might feel as a result.

That didn't stop him from silently enjoying the redhead's company, even if they were both somewhat uncomfortable with the unresolved issue festering in the space between them. Part of him was so outraged still, but there was something unquestionably soothing about being near him—he wasn't sure if he would be able to accept what Genesis had revealed, but there was no denying it…he  _wanted_ to be able to let it go.

That reality only served to frustrate Cloud more, re-igniting the battle between his mind and heart as he desperately tried to find some common ground inside himself. By the time they were done and on their way back to the tower, he hadn't found a reasonable solution yet.

"If you'll excuse me, I need a long bath and a good book," Genesis said promptly, not wasting a second once they'd arrived.

"See ya later," Zack responded, his smile still unwavering.

The redhead gave a nod in response, turning his gaze to Cloud momentarily—the blond had already averted his eyes though, and just gave a silent nod before Genesis turned on his heel and walked away.

"Soooo, wanna tell me what  _that_ was all about?" Zack prodded the moment they were in the elevator. "I could practically feel the awkwardness dripping off both you guys."

Cloud looked up to his friend, knowing it was just about time to suck it up and spill his guts. "I just need a minute," he muttered, not even sure where to begin.

Zack didn't try to fight him on it, and they were soon entering his apartment. The First pulled out a couple water bottles from his fridge, plopping down on the couch before reaching out to put them down on his coffee table. Then he just kicked back, arms folded behind his head and feet up on the coffee table as he waited for Cloud to relax a bit.

The blond had begun pacing on the other side of the coffee table, hands on his hips as he tried one last time to decide for himself what to do. It was no use though—no matter how much he thought about it, he hit a wall before reaching a resolution. He eventually came to a halt, looking to his friend helplessly as he ran a hand through his hair.

"You ready to talk it out?" Zack offered immediately, patting the cushion by his side when Cloud nodded. The blond dropped to the couch with a sigh, dreading this—it was time though. "So, Gen's back. You're into him, he's obviously into you. It looked like a happy reunion at first—what's the problem?"

"I asked him about Sector Eight like you said…and it was his mission." Zack nodded, not surprised of course. "I didn't realize that meant he was  _there_ though. I thought he was just overseeing it or something."

"You know that's not how things work," Zack said slowly, raising an eyebrow as he looked to Cloud. "Whoever's supervising a mission like that  _has_ to be on the scene, otherwise—"

Cloud let out another disgruntled sigh, interrupting his friend. "I know that, but the day we met he told me he had nothing to do with why I was conscripted—that he saw the reports about what happened, but he'd have to see for himself if I was worth it."

Now Zack looked genuinely surprised, a slight frown tugging on his lips. "He lied to you?"

"No, that's the thing. He just chose his words carefully—I mean, I'm the one who used the materia. He had nothing to do with that, so in a way, I guess he  _didn't_ have anything to do with why I was conscripted. And obviously he saw the reports, so that wasn't a lie either—and he was the one who got to decide if it was a fluke or not, so none of it was an outright lie."

"It still sounds pretty shitty though, especially when you've gotten so close now."

"I know," Cloud agreed, reaching out to the coffee table to snag his water bottle. He took a few gulps, hoping to swallow back the rising lump in his throat—it helped a little bit. Enough for him to keep going. "But I can get over that part—I thought about it, and it's just…whatever. The bottom line is, I knew all along he was aware of what happened even if I didn't know he was in charge or that he was actually there. I knew he'd seen at least part of the reports."

"So what's the problem then?"

"When they conscripted me for what happened, I figured that meant someone saw me do it—but I didn't realize how much they saw or how close they were. I used the damn thing  _twice_ , and they saw both—they were in range to help after the first time, and Gen gave them an order to wait instead…"

"Ohh," the First murmured, a flash of understanding in his eyes.

"Yeah," Cloud responded, gripping his water bottle a bit too firmly.

He chugged down the rest in a hurry, sighing as he set the deformed bottle down. This all happened months ago now, but talking about it—he felt like he was picking at a fresh scab, reopening the wound rather than just letting it heal properly. The more he picked at it, the more likely it was to scar…but how could he just leave it be?

"I thought I was going to die that night…I don't know if you've ever felt that way, but…it's not good. I felt so..."

Helpless. Frustrated. Angry. Defeated. It really wasn't a sensation any single word could encompass. All he could do was shake his head, not willing to go back to that place—not willing to address those feelings and risk having them ignite inside him as he relived the memory.

"It's weird to think about now that I'm a SOLDIER—we're never  _really_  defenseless. We don't have guns that run out of rounds, and we can take more than one hit to the wrong spot before being incapacitated. But I'll never forget how it felt that night…knowing there was nothing I could do—it wasn't like I had the training to take down seven or eight terrorists with guns while I was unarmed, and there was no way out of there. And Genesis—he just  _watched…_ he had the opportunity to help, but he chose not to."

"Were you in immediate danger after that first cast?"

Cloud thought it over, eventually shaking his head. "…Not really. I was still crouched down, but I heard the gunfire stop—I think they were trying to figure out what happened to the two guys that got too close to me."

There was a long pause between the two, and Cloud was grateful for it—Zack was thinking over everything that he'd been told, and he had plenty to think about himself. It was the one thing he couldn't get beyond…how Genesis could have just  _watched_ him in that moment rather than helping. Everything else was just…how it was.

Yes, there should be better communication between the Army and SOLDIER, but the policies and protocol weren't Genesis' fault. And really, he  _believed_ the redhead—if the Army had been tipped off, it definitely  _wouldn't_ have trickled down to his squad. Not with men like Colonel Tibbs at the top getting that information and sticking his nose up because it came from SOLDIER—there was too much of a back and forth superiority complex between the two branches…for now, at least.

Sure, it would have been nice if Genesis had told him more about the mission sooner—but it was like Zack had said months ago. Generals weren't obligated to tell every SOLDIER what they were thinking at all times, or the full details of every operation. It wasn't like they had been particularly close right from the start, even if he'd always felt some kind of pull toward the man—and actually, Genesis had obviously  _tried_ to keep his distance, which also made a lot more sense now. But working together had been necessary...and so natural. Of course their bond grew. It hadn't  _really_ blossomed until he had become Gensesis' student though, and since then Genesis had willingly provided the information the firsttime Cloud had worked up the nerve to ask for it.

But even if they hadn't known each other—even if they weren't friends, and had no interest in one another—how could  _anyone_ just stand idly by in a situation like that? Especially when the mission had been to deal with the same terrorists that Cloud was facing…It just made no sense. If Genesis had been able to help, then he should have—it was as simple as that.

"Spike…I'm gonna tell you something, and I don't think you're gonna like it," Zack warned, patting his friend on the back gently. Cloud raised both brows, but nodded—whatever it was, he wanted to hear it. Usually Zack's best advice was preceded by those words, and he was sure this time would be no different. "Gen was doing his job. When we're in the field and see someone with potential, assuming they aren't in immediate danger we're supposed to give them an opportunity to demonstrate their skills."

"But I'd already  _used_ it once…why wasn't that enough? Why'd he have to see me do it again?"

"My guess? If he was too far away to help when you did it that time, then he couldn't really be sure about what happened—yeah, his assumption woulda been right, but in your situation that's not enough to get a conscription approved. He needed to see you do it again, and he needed the other guys with him to see it too…I know it's shitty, but you probably wouldn't be here right now if he hadn't done that—you woulda gone through that court-martial and been sent home."

"So you're saying he did me a  _favor_ by letting me go through that?"

"He wasn't doing you a favor—he was doing his job. And it  _sucks_. But cut the guy some slack maybe," he suggested, a sympathetic smile on his face as Cloud just stared back at him blankly. The words were hitting him hard, but he had no idea what to make of them yet. "I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear from me, but I've been there. I've had to make tough calls and wait things out before, and it's one of the hardest parts of what we do—our instinct is  _always_ to just jump in, but we can't do that every time. Remember the mock mission you went on?"

Cloud frowned, but nodded his head. "Yeah."

"What'd you think the whole point of that was? You gotta think before rushing in—being a SOLDIER is more than just reacting on impulse and destroying shit. And I think we both agree he woulda jumped in if you needed it, yeah?"

"Yeah," he agreed, certain of that much at least.

"Then I think you're talkin' to the wrong dude—go see him!"

"It's not that easy…I get what you're saying and why he did it, but being the person he did it to—"

"A lot of us have been that person."

"What do you mean?" he asked slowly.

"Maybe the circumstances weren't as horrible as what happened to you, but plenty of us get recruited because we're spotted by a Turk or SOLDIER who's out in the field—maybe we got caught up in whatever their objective was, or maybe we got seen along the way…but basically everyone who gets recruited has some kind of story about being ignored when they coulda used some help," Zack explained with a shrug. "Not everyone joins after a recruitment night."

Cloud blinked a few times, thinking it over. Of course he wasn't the only one recruited outside of a recruitment night—that only made sense. He hadn't given much thought to  _how_ other SOLDIERs had been noticed originally though.

"Did you get recruited like that?"

Zack gave a nod, a nostalgic smile appearing on his face. "Nothing like what happened to you, but yeah. There were these creatures around Gongaga and sometimes they'd get too close to the village—we called them Grand Horns. They're kinda like…I dunno how to describe them, just  _huge_  beasts—they stand up on two legs, and have these massive hands with even bigger claws," he recalled, gesturing wildly with his hands to show just how wide the hands were and how long the claws were. "They have plenty of weak spots though, so they're easy enough to handle once you've had some practice. The problem was, I was a little bit overeager when I was younger."

"When you were younger?" Cloud repeated, laughing at the idea of it—on  _most_ days Zack could be a bit overeager still.

"Trust me, it was worse back then," Zack said, laughing right along. "My dad was mayor, so usually he just hired mercs to deal with them if anyone reported sightings—one day the news came too late though. I ended up sneaking off and snatching my neighbor's sword, thinking I could just deal with it myself while he was trying to find someone. I was barely 15—it was probably the best and worst decision I've ever made."

"What happened?"

"I didn't have any formal sword training—it was stupid of me to rush in like that. Somehow I managed to take it down, but not before getting a few big gashes in my left arm," he said, another gesture along his arm to show just how  _big_ he meant. Cloud cringed, realizing from where Zack was pointing he had probably tried to use his arm as a shield at some point—an unenhanced 15 year old with no training wouldn't really be able to block with a sword effectively. "It turns out a SOLDIER in the area saw the whole damn thing. He didn't jump in once, even when I was hit—I guess it still looked like I had it under control, so he wanted to see what I could do. I was on a transport to Midgar the next morning."

"Were you mad when you found out he just watched?"

"Nah—I was too busy bragging about what I'd done," Zack admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "I could barely sit still long enough for him to get a cure off on my arm."

Cloud wanted to laugh at that, but all he could do was hang his head as he really began to process Zack's story. Their recruitments had been a bit different, but it was clear he wasn't the only one who endured a dangerous situation pre-enhancements…he was probably the only one who had given up and been prepared to die though.

"Hey, stop it," Zack muttered, jabbing him in the side with an elbow. "Don't go comparing our stories—I didn't deal with seeing four dudes I worked with die. I wasn't under constant fire with no way out. If I'd needed to, I coulda just run off without a problem. I had an out the entire fight."

"I was useless though. You didn't even know how to use a sword, and you charged in headfirst!"

"You didn't have a sword, Spike—and you were being  _shot_ at the whole time. Grand Horns are big, but they're slow too. A lot easier to dodge than a bullet. And you know, you can talk all you want about giving up, but you  _chose_ to pick up that materia. I think in the back of your mind somewhere you were hoping it'd turn out to be a good luck charm after all—and it  _did._ "

He didn't respond to that comment, preferring not to remember what he'd actually been thinking when he picked up the materia. Instead he let his mind fall to Genesis, taking in everything Zack said slowly. Who was he even angry with? Did he really blame Genesis for any of what happened, or was he still just holding onto  _something—_ grasping for a way to take some of the blame off himself after all this time?

It didn't take long for him to see the truth of it—to feel it in his gut. Even if Genesis  _hadn't_ waited before jumping in, the outcome wouldn't have changed much. His squad would still be dead…but  _he_ wouldn't be a SOLDIER now. And this was how he'd chosen to thank the man who had given him a chance at a fresh start.

He ran a hand through his hair, quietly hoping his friend wasn't out of good advice for the day…he sure as hell didn't know what to do now. "…Do you think he'll forgive me?"

Zack tilted his head, raising a confused eyebrow at his friend. "Huh?"

"Genesis," Cloud clarified, his heart filling with doubt. "I overreacted about the whole thing—I stormed out on him when he told me, and—"

"Uh, did you see the looks he was giving you while we were having milkshakes?" Zack cut in, chuckling as Cloud shook his head skeptically. "Well, trust me, he forgives you—the dude wants you, Spike. Bad. If anything he's worried you won't forgive him."

"But what if—"

"Go talk to him!" Zack insisted, leaping to his feet and offering his younger friend a hand. Cloud accepted reluctantly, not shocked when his friend pulled him up so quickly that he all but fell forward into open arms—naturally Zack engulfed him into a super tight yet oddly comfortable hug. "Call me later, or swing by—I wanna hear about how it goes!"

Cloud nodded his head, trying not to look as nervous as he felt when Zack let him go. "What about you?" he asked, looking up to his friend. "We didn't talk about—"

"I'm fine," Zack assured him, the smirk on his face genuine enough for Cloud to believe it. "This kinda thing happens all the time…maybe not to  _me,_ but it's not a big deal. I'm already going on plenty of dates—I'll stumble on something special eventually, and until then, I'm having a blast. I think I'm happier now than I've been in  _years_ —I'm a First, my best bud's a SOLDIER, all the people I care about are coming together…there's literally nothing else I could ask for. I'm even moving into a bigger apartment next week!"

"But you didn't want to be First."

"Yes, I did! I just didn't want to be First a few months ago when the only open slot was in Mideel—when they approved having another ready response team here in Midgar, it was perfect—I get to be First, I still get to see you and Angeal and Gen and Seph…Being First is what I  _always_ wanted, I just didn't want to lose everyone close to me in the process."

"So you're really happy?"

" _Yes—_ I nearly tackled Angeal to the ground when he told me he'd recommended me because I was so excited! Yeah, I was kinda concerned for a couple days after 'cause the timing was weird, but Angeal's an honest dude...we talked about it the other day, and he said my confession had nothing to do with his decision," Zack explained, ushering his friend toward the door with a big smile. "The only thing that would make me happier right now is seeing you and Gen work this all out finally. So please _—_ I don't want be rude, but  _get out_ and don't come back until you have some good news to share with me. I'll have the beer ready to celebrate!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify for anyone who may be wondering - I mentioned a few chapters back that the ending was in sight, and we're basically there now! I have one more update planned after this, and while I'm not sure if it will be the official end of this 'verse or not, I do know it will be the official end of this story ^.^ Thank you all so much for your support, it's really meant a lot to me!

* * *

He was only doing his job.

Cloud had already decided that was the truth of the matter—Genesis waiting and watching hadn't been cruel or unreasonable. Those facts stung, but that didn't make them any less true. And really…when Cloud really looked into his own heart and thought about  _why_ it stung so much, he knew he'd never truly blamed Genesis for any of it. He blamed himself still, for being so weak that night…it was time to stop and just let the wound heal. Lashing out the way he had wasn't fair, and it wasn't going to help him move on with his life.

So why now…now that he  _knew_ that, why was it so hard to face Genesis again?

He'd lost his nerve after leaving Zack's, too overwhelmed to go directly to see his mentor as planned. Instead he'd retreated to his own apartment like a coward, doing his best to think everything over one more time—making sure the conclusions he'd reached were ones he believed rather than ones that just sounded good because Zack had lead him to them.

Eventually he'd realized, yes, he believed it all—yes, he could understand and accept what had actually happened. More than that, yes, he wanted to make sure that he and Genesis would be able to work it all out…he  _needed_ to make sure everything worked out between them, more than anything.

So why was he pacing down the hall from Genesis' apartment rather than just knocking on the door?

Was it pride?

No, it wasn't pride. When it came to admitting his own mistakes, he was the first one to raise his hand and apologize. It had always been easier that way, acknowledging his own error before anyone else had the chance to taunt or tease him about it.

Was he just being stubborn?

Not really—not this time, at least. It was true he was stubborn to a fault at time, but he  _wanted_ to get this off his chest. He  _wanted_ to apologize so that they could move on—talk about how Genesis' mission had gone, why it had been extended—if everyone was okay. But maybe…

_That_  was the problem, and he could feel it in his gut. There were too many  _what if's_ …the most important one was simple; what if Genesis didn't forgive his behavior? It was no secret the Third General was impatient—he didn't have time to deal with his subordinates storming off or throwing fits. Cloud wasn't exactly just any subordinate, but…maybe that made it  _worse_  in Genesis' eyes. When the expectations were higher, disappointments ran deeper.

Still, he'd seemed pleased to see Cloud. Relieved, too—when they hugged at least.

There was a pang in his heart at the thought of being in Genesis' arms, and there was nothing he could do to suppress it. That moment had been so innate. Like an involuntary reaction just from seeing each other, impossible to prevent. A hug didn't change what was going on inside Genesis' heart or mind though. A milkshake and some frivolous conversation didn't either. Maybe from his perspective as Cloud's general and mentor, he didn't mind that Cloud ran off last time they spoke—but as anything else…

He came to a halt in his tracks, letting out a long sigh as he ran a hand through his messy hair. Thinking it over again wasn't going to accomplish anything. Cloud Strife wasn't just stubborn—he was determined too, and he needed to know where they stood… _now._

His feet took the initiative before his mind caught up to the decision, and chuckling at himself for a second when he realized he was so tense that his hands were balled into tight fists. As he released them, he could feel it easing up a bit, but not much—especially when he was finally standing in front of Genesis' door. It took all his remaining determination to raise one hand, rattling off two quick knocks before letting his arm fall to his side.

There was no answer for a long moment. No movement from inside either, and he was listening carefully. His heart sank rapidly, but part of him was overcome by relief. The man was probably sleeping…it had been a rough few days for him, clearly. This wasn't the best time to bring up any potentially stressful conversations.

A shuffling from inside the apartment jolted him as he prepared to leave though, and he cursed himself for not just deciding to wait until the next day. Surely this would have been better to discuss in Genesis' office—showing up at his apartment just made it personal. It  _was_ personal to Cloud, a conversation his heart and mind were demanding he have…but that didn't mean anything. Not unless Genesis looked at it that way too.

Finally the door swung open, the Third General looking less than pleased at first—he raised both brows when he saw it was Cloud standing there with wide eyes.

"Cloud," he said, the name almost a question. "I thought we'd made arrangements to meet tomorrow in my office."

"I know, but I needed to talk to you today," Cloud replied swiftly, too far gone to stop. "Please, Gen."

"If you're here to discuss the terrorist attack, it'll have to wait—I'll tell you what you want to know, but it's been a long few days," Genesis told him firmly. "I need some rest before we tackle that subject."

"No, it's not about—I don't care about that," Cloud insisted, shaking his head helplessly. "Or, I don't care about it right now at least."

"Then why are you here?"

"The same reason you showed up in the training room when you got back instead of coming here—I wanted to see you," he said softly, hoping his assumption was correct.

Genesis looked guarded still, but he stepped back and gestured for Cloud to enter. The blond didn't need to be told twice—he scurried inside, a quick sigh of relief when Genesis closed the door behind him. It wasn't until he was sitting on the couch and Genesis had taken a seat in one of his nice chairs that Cloud even realized…the man's hair was damp and he was in a long, fluffy, scarlet bathrobe and matching slippers—super comfortable looking, and somehow not appearing even remotely ridiculous on this man.

"I can't be expected to dress with finesse at all times," the general said indignantly, catching the way Cloud's eyes were sweeping him up and down. Cloud laughed quietly at that statement, which brought the slightest smile to Genesis' face as their eyes locked again. "What do you really need, Cloud?"

"I wanted to apologize," he explained, forcing himself to maintain eye contact despite the anxiousness he felt. "I shouldn't have…I wish I hadn't…" Of course his words would fail him now, when he needed them most. He stared at his mentor, mouth open just slightly as he let out a frustrated breath. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize for walking out," Genesis told him carefully. "I understand. I know what it's like to feel the fear and pressure you felt in that moment, and if someone who had been able to assist had simply  _watched_ me endure that struggle…well, I certainly wouldn't be apologizing to that person. I'd be showing them what I've learned since, and demanding an apology of my own."

"But it wasn't your fault…me being in that situation had nothing to do with you, and I know you were just trying to do your job."

"That doesn't excuse my decision—it doesn't change how you must have felt that night," Genesis said, dropping his gaze for just a moment. By the time his eyes snapped back up, he was the same confident man as always, head held high as he looked at his student. "If you insist on apologizing, I accept—but I insist you accept  _my_  apology in return."

"Okay," the blond agreed readily, wondering if it could really be so simple.

"Good. Then everything is as it should be—we can discuss the rest tomorrow," the general reiterated, to which Cloud nodded in response. "If that's all, I wasn't being dramatic when I said it's been a long few days."

Cloud nodded again, though he wasn't ready to leave just yet. "You're okay?"

"Of course. I only managed an hour's sleep in three days though—even SOLDIERs have limits. I'll be ready to file the reports and train again in the morning," he assured the Third, a small smile pulling at one side of his mouth. "Really, I'm fine."

That second reassurance was enough for the blond to believe it, especially when he saw the slight amusement in his mentor's eyes. "Okay," Cloud relented, forcing himself to his feet.

It was a familiar thing, trudging toward the door while Genesis watched him—more often than not it was in the general's office, but the effect was the same. His steps were short and slow, his heavy heart somehow racing…Genesis' piercing stare taking in his every move, silently daring him to stop. His mind was reeling every time, searching for any lingering thoughts or questions—any excuse to prolong the walk and stay just a little longer.

There was only one resounding thought at the forefront of his mind this time.

"Gen…" He couldn't even turn around to say it, already feeling the heat in his cheeks.

"Yes?"

"Since we apologized…there was something we were talking about, right before we had that conversation—before we talked about that night," Cloud began, hearing the distinct sound of slippers shuffling along the carpet drawing in closer behind him. When the sound stopped, he was sure his heart did too—he could feel the warmth emanating from Genesis standing behind him, not quite grazing his back.

"I remember," Genesis gently prompted, his breath tickling Cloud's ear. Nothing escaped his lips but a nervous gasp though, so the redhead continued, "I had asked you where your heart is."

"Do you still want to know?" he asked, fully aware it was a question loaded with implication—a simple no would be devastating at this point.

Luckily Genesis didn't keep him waiting for an answer. "More than anything."

He spun around, lightheaded as a wave of anticipation coursed through his body. Genesis' hands steadied him though, cupping his face the moment they were facing one another. It wasn't nearly enough for Cloud—he propped himself up on his tip toes, grabbing two handfuls of fuzzy bathrobe and pulling Genesis in close enough that the redhead barely had to lean down to capture his mouth.

There was a clear desperation in the way he was clinging to Genesis, but the elder SOLDIER was entirely unaffected—he was nothing but gentle, lips moving against Cloud's slowly yet insistently like he had no intention of rushing no matter how tightly Cloud gripped his robe. Eventually that silent certainty rubbed off on Cloud and he calmed down—he loosened his grip, holding on comfortably instead.

Neither were going to pull away so soon this time.

The moment he was relaxed was the moment Genesis eased his mouth open, guiding their movements the same way he always did—with unrelenting confidence, taking his time to thoroughly map out the interior of Cloud's mouth until the blond was tightening his grip on the robe again…just to help steady himself this time, as he began his own careful exploration. The encouraging sound that escaped Genesis' throat spiked his heart rate up, giving him the boost he needed to be just as thorough, finally without refrain.

It was his turn to make a sound when Genesis' tongue retreated, though it was more of a whine than anything…he wasn't even embarrassed by it, smiling uncontrollably as Genesis laughed so softly against his lips, still kissing him repeatedly in between. Eventually it began tapering down, turning into quick, chaste pecks until they came to a slow, steady stop. His arms slid around Genesis' waist as the other pulled back, nowhere near ready to let go just yet. The First didn't seem to mind, wrapping his arms around Cloud's shoulders and allowing the blond to nestle in as close as he wanted.

"I need to get some rest," the redhead whispered, the regret heavy in his tone.

Cloud just nodded his again, not pulling back even an inch from where it was resting comfortably against Genesis' chest. It was incredibly selfish—Genesis had already explained how little sleep he'd gotten in the last few days—but he needed this a moment longer. Neither moved nor spoke for  _at least_ a moment luckily…he wasn't even sure if he had taken a breath, still coming down from the delirious high their kiss had given him.

"I want you to stay."

His heart had barely slowed down to its normal rate, but those words made it jump again—he pulled back reluctantly, just far enough to peer up into Genesis' eyes. "…Are you asking or ordering?" Cloud teased, the words light despite how eerily familiar they were…and how tense they had been the last time he spoke them.

"I'm hoping," the redhead chose instead, leaning down for one more kiss. "I don't intend to rush things with you—if we're going to do this, we're going to do this properly. But we've been apart long enough. I want you to be here when I wake up."

"I'll stay," Cloud murmured, nuzzling in close one last time before daring to let go.

* * *

The mystery room Cloud had spotted the last time he was in Genesis' apartment was indeed a spare bedroom, it turned out. Not only that, but it was a  _nice_ bedroom, with a bed softer than his own. It wasn't such a surprise considering how nice and cozy all of Genesis' other furniture was, but it wasn't quite what he'd expected when he'd been asked to stay.

What  _had_ he expected?

Sharing a bed with Genesis would have been too much. Probably. It would have been too soon, even if all they did was sleep. Knowing that didn't stop the disappointment from crashing into him like a truck when he was shown to the room though—it also didn't prevent the blush from spreading across his face when Genesis asked him if something was wrong. Luckily he'd gotten away with muttering  _nothing_ in response _…_ either Genesis already  _knew_ why he looked so crestfallen, or was too exhausted to press the issue at the time.

Now that morning had arrived, he felt a bit better about the whole situation. Sure, sleeping next to Genesis would have been amazing while they were in that perfect moment the night before…but it would have been alarming to wake up next to him with messy hair and morning breath. Maybe couples who had been together for a long time didn't care about things like that, but they…were they even a couple? They really needed to have a follow up conversation before sharing a bed, Cloud concluded.

That didn't stop him from inhaling a deep breath, appreciating the  _smell_ of waking up in Genesis' apartment before forcing himself to roll out of bed. A smile was already spreading across his face as he looked down at himself, stupidly content as he saw the dopey pajama pants he was wearing. They were borrowed from Genesis, though the redhead swore up and down that he'd never worn them— _a gift from a fan,_ he'd explained. Black pants with the word LOVELESS scattered  _all_ over them in fancy red lettering. He was wearing a matching black t-shirt, which only had the word splattered once across his chest….also  _never worn_ despite a few obvious signs of wear.

It was still relatively quiet around the apartment, so he opened the door carefully before tiptoeing out of the room and into the bathroom. To his relief, Genesis had set out a toothbrush that was still in its package, and Cloud quickly claimed it as his own. There were a few specialty soaps on the counter as well, and he stared at them all with wide eyes—three of them said facial cleanser. He just grabbed one at random, hoping to wash away from of the sleepiness from his face.

He had another internal dilemma when he spun around, realizing there were several towels too, each of varying sizes. They were in a pattern, and he wondered briefly if some were decorative…maybe? If that were the case, he felt a bit bad, because he snatched one of the unused looking ones at random to dry his face.

Genesis  _had_ said he was free to take or use anything he needed in the apartment.

It wasn't until he was trying to get his hair under a reasonable amount of control that he really stopped and looked at himself in the mirror. Not once in his life could he remember giving a damn about things like this—how he looked or how his breath smelled. Sure, he brushed his teeth and hair regularly—he liked to think he was a clean and decent smelling person in general. But he'd never really put this much thought into it before...

_Relax,_ he could almost hear Genesis whispering in his ear. That was definitely what the redhead would be saying if he could see his student now, and he nodded at himself in the mirror as he tried his best to listen. Genesis had seen him on his ass in the training room, hair flying in every direction and drenched in sweat. Compared to that, he looked amazing right now.

That only gave him a temporary confidence boost, the nerves rising rapidly as he stepped out of the bathroom. The smells and sounds coming from the kitchen…

Genesis was definitely awake. And cooking, apparently. Cloud didn't even know he  _could_ cook...it seemed like they still had a lot to learn about each other, despite the many conversations they'd had over the last few months together. In a way, he really liked that though. Every time he discovered something new about Genesis, it was always a treat—there was always some story to go along with the tidbit, and no matter how trivial it may have been if  _anyone_ else had told a similar story, it was captivating coming from Genesis.

There was no running back into the bathroom to hide at this point. If he could hear Genesis out there, then he'd been heard as well. He took a deep breath, trying unsuccessfully to breathe out the last of his worries as he stepped into the living room. The air was knocked out of him entirely as his eyes met Genesis', and suddenly all the insecurities about being messy and under-dressed came rushing back...

He was already in his uniform, his trademark red jacket the only thing missing. With or without the jacket though, Genesis always looked striking in his uniform.

"I should go back to my place and get dressed," he decided out loud, only vaguely aware that Genesis literally laughed at his words.

"It's fine—you have a meeting with  _me_ this morning, remember? I thought we could have it here over breakfast before you left," the redhead said smoothly, flipping what looked like a pancake in the frying pan with a quick flick of his wrist as he spoke.

"But—" he tried, cut off by a pointed stare.

"I don't cook very often, you know. Sit down and relax—let me enjoy this."

Cloud nodded tentatively before sliding into one of the chairs at Genesis' dinner table, watching curiously as he waited for whatever it was that was being prepared. "I didn't even know you could cook," he admitted, a hand on the back of his neck as Genesis peered over his shoulder with a smirk.

"Everyone's always so surprised when they find out," the redhead said, letting out a dramatic sigh. "I'm actually quite gifted in the kitchen—and not just with food. I invented Banora White Juice, you know."

"Zack said something about that once, but I thought he was kidding. Every time I've ever eaten with you, it's always take out or something Angeal made you."

"Well, just because I  _can_ cook doesn't mean I prefer to," he responded with a simple shrug. "It's not worth the effort when it's just for myself—I could do dozens of things in the time it takes to prep and clean up after preparing a meal. When I have good company though, that's another story entirely."

Cloud couldn't suppress a smile at that statement, watching Genesis eagerly as he continued to flick his wrist like a professional chef—so gracefully, without a single slip up. Was there anything this man couldn't do with complete ease? He looked so in his element, even doing something Cloud would never have imagined him doing prior to that morning.

Another few flicks of the wrist and the contents of two pans were being dispersed onto two plates. The redhead sprinkled a pinch of something over the top of each plate, looking down at his own creation with a pleased nod before bringing both plates to the table. Cloud eyed the plate that was placed in front of him, easily impressed by the assortment of food on it. Two pancakes, a huge omelet with chives sprinkled prettily over the top, two slices of bacon, two sausage links…it all looked and smelled delicious, but it was definitely more than he could eat in one sitting. He casually glanced over at Genesis' plate, noticing immediately it only had a single pancake and a much smaller omelet…that caused him to meet the redhead's eyes tentatively, but he didn't say anything—Genesis had gone out of his way to do this for him, and he wasn't about to be rude or question it.

"We don't normally do breakfast…I wasn't sure what you preferred," the Third General explained slowly, recognizing Cloud's unspoken question as usual. "You don't have to eat everything—I promise not to be offended. This time, at least."

"I'm not picky, it's just a lot. But I'll try my best," Cloud said, picking up the fork and knife that had already been set out for him. He dove into the omelet first, not even realizing how hungry he swallowed the first bite. "Wow…This is really good!"

"Wait until you try the pancakes," Genesis told him, a smirk on his face as he watched Cloud appreciatively downing another few bites of omelet. "I have syrup and butter—whatever you like. I find it detracts from the flavor, personally."

"What kind are they?" he asked, already cutting off a piece to try. He looked up to Genesis before lifting his fork to his mouth again, trying to be patient even though he was more than a little eager to try it now.

"Apple cinnamon," the redhead revealed, thoroughly pleased at the bright expression that lit up Cloud's face as he tried them. "They're one of my specialties—I can't make them as often as I'd like though because Banora Whites are—"

"Dumbapples?" Cloud guessed, remembering hearing about them during one of his mentor's stories from his childhood. Apples that grew on their own schedule rather than during a specific season. He remembered that story vividly, and the nostalgic look on Genesis' face as he told it.

"Exactly. That makes it tricky to track them down here in Midgar. Angeal's mother usually writes him a letter after the harvest to let him know when we should be able to find them," he explained, a small smile curling his lips. "Do you cook?"

"Uh…yeah, but not like this," Cloud replied, chuckling at the thought.

"What do you mean?"

"I mostly know how to cook Nibel foods…heavier stuff. Stews and things like that," he explained, the thoughts of his mother's meals only making him hungrier—thankfully he still had a massive plateful of food in front of him. "It's not as fancy as this, but I still love it."

"This is fancy?"

"Mmhmm," he responded, swallowing down another mouthful of pancake.

A flood of embarrassment hit him again as he did so, realizing that he really was a total slob—Genesis even  _ate_ with grace, and here he was, basically talking with his mouth full in his ridiculous LOVELESS pajamas. He set down his fork and knife, reaching out for the glass of juice that had been sitting there for him with a deep breath.

"Relax," Genesis murmured, reaching across the table for Cloud's free hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze, and soon they were both smiling just slightly as their eyes met. There was something liberating about the fact that they both knew what it meant—that neither needed to pull back suddenly, unsure what the other was thinking. "I'd like to hear more about your home town. Perhaps next time I'll let you do the cooking."

"I can try—tracking down some of the ingredients here might be trickier than finding dumbapples though," Cloud warned, knowing a  _lot_ of his mom's secret recipes required some pretty obscure mountain seasonings.

"I'm sure I can manage if you let me know what you need," Genesis assured him with a wink. "It'll be worth the effort if I get a good meal out of it."

"Okay," he agreed wholeheartedly, only vaguely realizing they'd just arranged…a date? Or made dinner plans. It seemed pretty straightforward what that meant…but assumptions didn't tend to work out well between them. He needed to hear it. "Gen, what did you mean last night?"

"Which part?" the redhead countered, raising a single brow.

"The part about if we're going to do this, we need to do it right?"

"I would have thought I made that abundantly clear," he answered carefully, giving Cloud's hand another squeeze before releasing it entirely. "You and I…If we're going to pursue a relationship together, I intend to do it properly."

"What does that  _mean_ though—properly?"

"It means clearing the air now instead of later, and then deciding if you still want to move forward with this."

"Forward?"

"Yes. There's been a connection between us for quite some time now, and I think it's time we explore it. I'd like to bring you on a date—a real date. Get to know you in ways I haven't yet, and perhaps you can do the same with me.  _Romance_  and meaningful conversation—you deserve those things. Breakfast is the  _last_  item on an extensive list of the things I want to offer you...Assuming you feel the same."

Cloud's heart stopped as he took in the sight before his eyes—the vulnerability on Genesis' face, so uncharacteristic of the confident general he'd come to know so well. Was there really anything left for him to doubt? Hadn't he made his feelings clear with every look and every touch? At the very least, it should have been obvious when they kissed…

Conveying the depth of his feelings in words was a lot more difficult. "Yeah...I feel the same," he agreed dumbly, wishing he had something as sweet and caring to offer as Genesis had.

The redhead looked pleased by his words nonetheless, bringing a smile back to Cloud's face before settling into a more serious expression.

"ShinRa had scheduled a construction team to arrive in Sector Eight the morning following your last patrol," the general informed him, folding his hands together on the table in a businesslike manner. Maybe he should have been prepared for this conversation, but he wasn't, at all. Clearing the air…he'd thought Genesis' candid words just a moment before had been 'clearing the air'…not  _this._ He met Genesis' unwavering stare with wide eyes, not welcoming the anxiousness this topic brought to the table—it felt entirely out of place between them now. "They were the real target the terrorists were preparing to take out. Clearly they hadn't been prepared for your patrol to walk through the area ahead of time."

Cloud just blinked at the anti-climactic revelation. "Why would terrorists want to stop them from rebuilding apartments and old factories?"

"It's significantly easier to prevent ShinRa from building new facilities than it is to take out the current ones," Genesis explained simply, shaking his head. "Even if they would technically be civilian areas, it still reflects well on the company—the property is still owned by ShinRa, and still brings in revenues. By stopping the construction, they likely felt they were taking a stand against the company itself."

"…So they laid down landmines?"

"Yes. An effective way to destroy the construction equipment. We weren't able to capture or question any of the terrorists, but I suspect they were camping the area. When your patrol tripped the first landmine, they rushed out to see what had happened—with their guns ready, of course."

He could almost smell the gunpowder in the air again as he spoke, closing his eyes involuntarily. "And then they saw Timmons...they must have recognized the uniform. That's why they were ready to fire when I..."

"Yes. We don't have to discuss the rest—unless you have further questions?"

"It just seems so trivial…Why do they hate ShinRa so much?"

"A variety of reasons—some worry about the impact the reactors have on the environment, others are disgruntled that a power company has essentially become a global government. There is no satisfactory explanation here. Ultimately, your men died because a group of terrorists wanted to do something quite petty."

"If they're so…" His hands were balled into fists, and all he could manage to do was shake his head. Eventually his eyes snapped back open, finding comfort in the way Genesis captured his gaze immediately. It looked like the general was having as hard a time telling the story as he was hearing it…Cloud took his time, trying to find a way to pour all his frustrations into a coherent sentence. "If they're so  _angry_ with the company, why don't they just…"

"There are a dozen things they could attempt—appropriate ways to air their grievances," Genesis said, nodding in agreement with Cloud's disrupted train of thought, "but those methods take time. Terrorists don't have the patience or regard to attempt those channels."

"I just wish we'd have known what we were walking into..."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Cloud insisted, shaking his head vehemently. He wasn't even sure what Genesis was sorry  _for_ —his role in what happened that night or the simple fact that it happened at all. Either way, an apology was the last thing he wanted now that he had finally pieced together the entire puzzle. "I get it now. It's a lot bigger than you and me, isn't it?"

"Yes. The company we work for is a far cry from perfection—I still believe it would have been futile of me to tip off the Army, but perhaps that's the real issue here. There's only so much we can do to prevent terrorists from taking action—but how we conduct  _ourselves_...Well, that we have significantly more control over."

Cloud nodded his head, taking in that reality—ShinRa was one company, but the organizations within were so disjointed...A big problem, clearly, but one that could be solved in time. The finality of his thought reaffirmed the decision he'd made months ago...joining SOLDIER had definitely been the right thing to do.

He met Genesis' eyes again, bracing himself one last time. "Is that everything?"

"Yes."

He exhaled a long, ragged breath, disappointed to find there was no sense of closure at the end of it. Zack and Genesis had definitely been right in that regard—knowing the full details of what happened that night…from start to finish, and everything in between…it increased his determination to change things, but it really didn't make him feel any better  _now_. The only thing worth feeling good about was the fact that his squad had probably saved that construction crew—it was a bittersweet thought though, and one that didn't change how horrible the entire situation had been.

"Hey, Gen?" he asked, trying to pick more at his food again—his appetite was mostly gone, but he wanted to put a good dent in the plate at least, after all the work Genesis had gone through making everything.

Genesis had apparently forgotten his food as well, eyes still fixated on the blond. "Yes?"

"I know you mentioned romance and all that…" he started, shaking his head slowly as he nibbled at his now-cold bacon. Genesis stilled at the words, the intensity of his gaze bringing a blush to Cloud's cheeks. "I was thinking...it sounds nice, but maybe we could wait a little? I want to spend time with you, but I think I need some cheap beer and a crappy movie tonight."

The redhead's lips were pressed together tightly as he considered Cloud's words, eventually curving into the type of smirk that sent a tremor down the blond's spine. "You, my dear, have a  _lot_ to learn about romance it seems—it's about more than expensive dinners or wines. Cheap beer can be very romantic under the right circumstances."

"Really?" Cloud responded, not masking his disbelief.

"Yes. I can see I'll have to prove it to you—I believe our morning meeting is just about over, and I have a  _hopeless_  recruit to train for the next few hours…but perhaps this evening," he suggested, his smile growing as Cloud laughed a little. "I'll take that as a yes—we'll meet here an hour after training? That should give me enough time to make the appropriate arrangements."

"Arrangements?" he repeated skeptically.

"Ah, ah—you'll have to wait and see," Genesis insisted, shaking his head as Cloud laughed again. "You'll learn not to doubt me, particularly on the subject of romance."

"Don't you have work to do today? A mission report to write?"

Genesis just scoffed. "They know better than to expect me to file those on time."

"Sometimes I wonder how you ever got to be general," Cloud teased, smiling at the light laughter his words had caused.

"If you'd seen me in action during that last mission, I think you'd understand," Genesis asserted confidently. Cloud just laughed again, not doubting it for a second—Genesis was one of the most talented men he'd ever met. "So...tonight. Do we have a date?"

"It's a date," Cloud agreed, though he pointed a warning finger across the table. "But I'll know if you buy expensive beer—I don't need to see the bottle to tell. I'll be able to taste the difference even if you pour it into a glass."

"I have no doubt you can," Genesis replied, which he chose to take as a compliment. "Now—if you're done eating, I think it'd be best if you went back to your apartment and put on something more appropriate. As much as I appreciate your fine tastes in pajamas, that outfit just won't do for training. I  _do_ have standards, you know."

Cloud scowled, doing his best to hide the playfulness in it. "Just not when it comes to books."

The redhead let out a loud gasp, his jaw hanging open just slightly as he eyed Cloud across the table. "Tell me you're joking."

"You're just gonna have to get to know me better and decide for yourself," Cloud deadpanned, pushing out his chair and rising to his feet while maintaining a straight face.

Zack always  _did_ call him a little shit—maybe it was time for Genesis to see more of that side of him too. Judging by the way the startled expression on Genesis' face had morphed into one of pure amusement…it wouldn't be a problem.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who has read this far...well, thanks so much! You all have made this an incredibly fun experience for me, and I don't even know how to begin expressing how grateful I am other than saying thank you again!

* * *

If there was one thing that SOLDIERs of all types universally complained about, it was paperwork. With every mission came a report, and for most, that wasn't what they signed up to do when they joined SOLDIER.

Cloud actually found that he didn't mind it at all. Maybe because it was only his eighth one—he honestly enjoyed writing about his successful missions. He  _also_ liked handing in a physical copy instead of just submitting his reports electronically...since he was still new, after all, and his general might have questions about how the mission had gone.

A grin crept onto his face as he extended his arm across the desk, his latest report in hand. He snatched it back before Genesis could accept it, thoroughly pleased by the lack of amusement on his general's face.

When there was no verbal response, he prodded for it. "Hey, Gen?"

Genesis raised a single brow, but only after rolling his eyes quite dramatically. "Yes, dear?"

"Is it true you can cast spells without materia?" he asked curiously, wondering how many of the rumors were factual and how many were just hype—there seemed to be several rumors regarding each of the three generals, and now that he had a Second Class partner he was hearing about those rumors more and more.

"What do  _you_ think?"

"Uh…I guess I wouldn't be surprised," Cloud admitted, finally releasing the report into Genesis' expectant hand. He plopped down in one of the chairs across from the desk, waiting patiently as Genesis eyed over the form. "I just would've thought you'd mention it to me…it must be a useful skill to have. Are you the only one who can do that?"

Genesis laughed softly at that question, finally placing the paperwork down on his desk and meeting Cloud's eyes. "Every single SOLDIER can use magic without possessing a piece of materia," he revealed, smirking as Cloud took  _his_ turn at rolling his eyes. "You think I'm kidding—I'm quite serious. It's not a conscious casting, but it's the same principle."

"What's that even mean?"

"What is materia?" Genesis responded shortly.

Cloud frowned—why did it always come back to this question? The answer had been pounded into his head during 'boot camp', and all these months later he was  _still_ being asked on a fairly regular basis.

"Condensed mako," he answered dully, not seeing the relevance but trusting Genesis had a point—there was  _always_ a point to this line of questioning.

"And what is used to enhance all SOLDIERs?"

"…Mako."

"Maybe you  _have_ learned something from me after all," Genesis boasted, his smile growing as Cloud scoffed. "Now—we refer to the process as enhancement because it does just that, correct?" Cloud nodded in acknowledgment. "What does it enhance?"

"Our senses…reflexes. Our bodies are stronger and capable of a lot more."

"Capable of what?"

"Withstanding greater injury, and—"

"What if we  _are_ injured?" Genesis pressed, not waiting for Cloud to respond. "We heal at an accelerated rate, largely due to the mako in our veins."

There was a long pause, heavy in the air as Cloud tried to figure out what his general was implying this time. "That's not the same as casting cure."

"Isn't it?" the redhead countered, raising a brow. "The mako inside us isn't typically condensed—it literally flows through our bodies, heightening everything we do. It bolsters our defenses in the process, whether we're consciously aware of it or not. That extends further when we're injured. When our bodies sustain an injury, a portion of the mako will gather at that point—it's not quite the same level concentration as a materia, but it's the same concept. That's why we sometimes see a green light emanating from an open wound as it seals without a cure spell. That's also why we can sustain five of the same injury, and those injuries will still heal one at a time instead of at the same rate. The mako will gather and heal those injuries one by one—the precise reason we aren't truly invincible. There are limitations. Too many or too severe an injury, and what's inside us won't be enough to gather and repair the damages in time."

"…So you can't use magic without a materia," Cloud concluded, slumping in the chair a little. "Or at least not the way people think you can."

"I wouldn't say that," Genesis revealed, opening his palm and showing off a tiny flame. It diminished as he closed his palm, his expression smug as he met the blond's wide eyes. "Cloud…once you have control over your own body, you'll find it's capable of more than you ever imagined. Focus next time you sustain a minor injury. Allow yourself to feel the mako acting on your body's behalf, and one day it will click. Once it does, you'll understand—it doesn't have to be an involuntary reaction. We can  _choose_ to utilize the mako inside us as we see fit."

"Yeah, but… _how?"_ Cloud asked, baffled by the thought. "If it heals us, there's no way to turn it into fire—that's not how materia works."

"Just because mako will heal us in its purest form doesn't mean that's all it's good for. We know that because it's been studied—if it's concentrated in the right conditions, it can take on new characteristics. Whether that happens naturally in a fire cavern over the course of a thousand years, or whether it happens in the lab where manufactured materia is produced—it's a fact, mako is adaptable."

"…So you're saying the mako in our bodies can take on different properties too?" Cloud questioned, raising both brows. It wasn't quite adding up, but Genesis nodded nonetheless. " _How?_ There's nothing fiery about the human body."

"That's true for most of us. For me, it's not. I've always had a particularly strong attunement to fire, and that's only increased over the years as I've continued to use it. Go ahead and search me if you want proof. I don't have a single materia equipped, and I can cast fire spells all day by concentrating what's inside me."

Cloud narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You just want me to frisk you."

"Perhaps," Genesis conceded with a look that was far too innocent. "I think it's only fair since you've interrupted my office hours. Come here."

He let out an exasperated sigh, clearly a habit he'd picked up from his boyfriend—but he was quick to rise to his feet and round the desk willingly. His heart was jumping in his chest as he was pulled into Genesis' lap, their foreheads pressed together intimately for a moment before their lips met. _  
_

"It'll take a few years, but I'm sure you'll be able to utilize your body's mako as well—your tolerance will increase every year when you get your injections, so you'll end up getting more and more each time, which makes it easier," Genesis explained, another gentle kiss before he pulled away and met Cloud's eyes. "Sephiroth is the only other SOLDIER who can do it, the rotten bastard. I showed him my new trick after  _months_ of trial and error—it was a personal discovery, and one I worked through on my own...I explained it to him  _once_ , and he immediately put it the information to use. He succeeded on his first attempt."

"Does he do fire spells too?" Cloud asked, carefully brushing a stray lock of hair from Genesis' eyes.

It was one of his favorite things—touching Genesis' hair. All his life he'd  _hated_ having people touch his own, but he couldn't help reaching out and running a hand through Genesis' from time to time…particularly when they were sitting so close and talking. More than anything, he wanted to be able to connect with Genesis—to meet his eyes and take in every word. If that meant trailing a hand through an out-of-place lock of flared out hair and pushing it back to the side, he was more than happy to do it.

And the soft smile it brought to Genesis' face...he couldn't see it often enough. "Yes. We can also use basic cure spells, of course."

"He doesn't strike me as a fiery kind of guy," the blond muttered, leaning comfortably into Genesis.

The redhead turned his head to the side before Cloud could steal another kiss. "You only met him  _once_! He must have made quite the impression if you're able to make that kind of assessment already."

Cloud snorted. "Are you jealous?"

"Of Sephiroth? Of course not!" Genesis exclaimed incredulously, wrapping his arms around Cloud's waist a little bit more firmly until the blond was smooshed up against his chest. "He may lead the Firsts, and he may be ShinRa's go-to poster boy, but these days I'm actually glad I have the Third Class. I feel like I've gained a lot from it."

"Oh really?"

"I  _did_ have to fight for some it," Genesis added quietly, pressing a delicate kiss along the sensitive spot behind Cloud's ear, "but it was mostly worthwhile."

"Mostly?"

"Occasionally I wonder if it's worth the trouble."

Cloud couldn't even pretend to be offended, the laughter already bubbling up inside him. "I'm glad to hear it."

"Good. Now tell me why Sephiroth doesn't strike you as fiery—is it because the hair? I  _do_ look a bit more fiery, I imagine."

Cloud laughed right into Genesis' ear, but couldn't deny it. "Kind of. He was just…I don't know, fire just doesn't suit him," he tried to explain, the very idea of it not sitting well with him for some reason. "I guess he just struck me as a blizzard kind of guy. Not that he was cold or anything—he barely even said a word other than when he had questions about something I said. I guess he was just kind of…stiff?"

"He _'s_ certainly not cold," Genesis admitted reluctantly. "He can be a tad bit too formal, but that's just because he was raised by the company. It doesn't help that Angeal just sprung you on him like that—he was in the middle of something, but he didn't want to be rude and throw you out. We talked about it, and I think you made quite the impression on him—we'll have to discuss this further after you get to know him better."

"Um…I don't really have any reason to get to know him. He's got better things to do than waste time with me."

"Cloud, we're in a relationship now, yes?" he asked, staring expectantly until Cloud nodded, a big grin spreading across his face. For some reason that happened whenever either of them vocalized it—maybe because it had only been a couple months...it was all still relatively new. The thought alone just made him too happy to hold it back. "If you expect me to spend time with your friends, it's only fair you spend time with mine. Angeal and Sephiroth are important to me."

"You were already friends with Zack though, way before we even met—it's not like you're doing me a favor by spending time with him," Cloud argued halfheartedly.

"Yes, but I also have a limit—some days Zack can be a bit much for me," Genesis insisted, holding a straight face as he spoke, "but I endure it for  _you_. So come to dinner tonight at Angeal's—we'll make it a double date."

"…Okay," Cloud agreed, forcing another smile even though the idea made his stomach turn nervously. He definitely didn't mind seeing more of Angeal, but Sephiroth...well, hopefully it would be easier in a more relaxed setting where he wasn't the sole focus of everyone's attention. Either way it would be worth it if it really was so important to Genesis. "They really don't mind?"

"It was Angeal's suggestion—I was planning to decline and keep you to myself tonight, but after hearing your thoughts on Seph, it only seems right to have you meet him outside of the office.  _I'm_ the only one around here who's supposed to think he's less than perfect."

Cloud laughed again, shaking his head as he held his boyfriend's gaze. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good. And actually, I think Zack may be going as well."

"It won't be weird for him?" Cloud asked, a bit surprised.

"He's your friend—what do  _you_ think? Is Zack Fair the type to feel awkward around friends?"

"Definitely not," Cloud replied without hesitation, realizing Genesis had a good point.

Zack had been nothing but supportive about his younger friend's relationship, and was still their biggest cheerleader on a daily basis—and he seemed just as supportive when it came to Angeal and Sephiroth too. At least whenever the topic came up, which wasn't particularly often.

All in all, it felt like Zack had really meant what he said—he really was the happiest he'd been in  _years_. Maybe he wasn't in a relationship, but if anyone could have a good time as a single person, it was Zack Fair—he was loving every minute of his life as a First Class. And it wasn't like anyone would do anything to  _make_ him feel uncomfortable or like he was the odd one out.

In fact, having Zack around would probably make it less stressful to 'get to know' Sephiroth. Maybe he'd do everyone a favor and do most of the talking. And if he didn't…

"Is it true Lazard's getting promoted?" Cloud asked, another rumor coming to mind as he thought about what  _he_ could possibly discuss with Sephiroth over dinner.

"Yes," Genesis answered slowly. "He'll be taking over as the Joint Chief of Operations for the Army and SOLDIER."

"So Sephiroth's really going to head the Firsts  _and_ the whole program?"

"Temporarily—it's not possible for him to fill both rolls indefinitely. They'll be selecting a formal replacement to fill Lazard's shoes as Director soon enough."

"Do you think it'll be him?"

Genesis shook his head. "No. Sephiroth is too valuable to be turned into a full time office maid—plus, no one else could lead the First Class…Well, aside from  _me_ , but then they wouldn't have anyone to lead the Thirds, so Sephiroth will have to stay, obviously."

Cloud laughed again, shifting in Genesis' lap slowly as he prepared to ask the next question. It was probably only wishful thinking, but…

"Is it true then? Lazard's getting promoted because ShinRa's pissed about how things are going between the Army and SOLDIER?"

"Ah, I was hoping to let the other two tell you more about this tonight," Genesis admitted, running a few elegant fingers through Cloud's unruly hair. "The short answer is, yes. After your impromptu meeting with Angeal and Sephiroth, they began putting together an extensive report detailing all the areas in which ShinRa would have benefited from joint ops or open communication between the two programs—they finally presented it to Lazard, who agreed wholeheartedly and brought the plan to his supervisor."

"The plan was based on my meeting with them?"

"In part. Truthfully, Angeal had been looking into a way to improve communications for quite so time, and I began assisting him after becoming your mentor. Your input provided the additional perspective and specifics needed to make a solid proposal to remedy the situation though…So, we should be seeing some changes around here soon. The others will tell you more tonight. Angeal is quite proud, and I have a soft spot for him—I don't want to ruin his surprise."

"That's great!" Cloud exclaimed, not really  _needing_ to hear more. He jumped from Genesis' lap with a grin, tugging at his boyfriend's hand. "We should go celebrate, or—"

Genesis squeezed his hand in return, but shook his head regretfully. "We'll celebrate tonight. I really  _do_ need to get some work done at some point this afternoon."

"You're right, I'm sorry," the blond said, leaning in for one last quick kiss. Genesis gave him two instead, his hand trailing over the blond's cheek and nearly drawing him back in for a third. "I'll leave you to it then—I'll go do some training, I guess. Are we still working on summons tomorrow?"

"Of course. If you expect to be my new lieutenant, you'll need to be able to call at  _least_ three different summons. I'll accept no less."

Cloud put a hand on his hip. He was well aware that the position had opened up, but he hadn't even given it a single thought—ultimately his goal was still to eventually become a First, which meant getting promoted to lieutenant at some point…but for now he was too new to the program.

"Who said I want to be your lieutenant?"

"I believe that decision is up to  _me,"_ Genesis reminded him shortly. "And honestly, the list of candidates is slim—you may not have as many missions under your belt, but you can certainly outperform most of my current Thirds. Kunsel informed me that some of my best men have been asking you for tips."

"That's because they think you told me all your secrets," Cloud said dismissively. "I don't want to be promoted just because—"

"I know," Genesis reassured him, softly this time as he met Cloud's eyes. "If and when you get promoted, it will be because you're the most qualified for the position. Now go—you're distracting me!"

"Maybe  _you're_ distracting _me,"_ Cloud countered, his tone playful as he narrowed his eyes. "All I wanted was to turn in a simple report, and you—"

"Unless you intend to kiss me again,  _go!"_

Cloud snorted, but was quick to graze his boyfriend's lips one last time. "I'll probably still be in the training room if you finish early."

"I don't expect I will. Why don't I meet you at your apartment instead? We can have a drink and relax a bit before headed up to Angeal's—does that sound nice?"

"That'd be perfect...I might be a little more nervous by then," he admitted, trying his best to move toward the door as he spoke.

Why was it always so damn difficult to walk away from this man?

"I'll be sure to finish here at least an hour before dinner then. Remember not to overwork yourself—your next assignment will be in two days, and I expect you to be in top shape."

"Of course. I did learn from the best," he said with a wink.

Genesis smiled at that—a broad smile that he seemed to reserve only for Cloud. "Yes, I suppose you did."

Cloud mirrored the smile, nodding an unspoken goodbye as he opened the door and forced himself to step outside. As it shut behind him he let out a long, almost dreamy breath. He'd thought the butterflies would have been gone by now, but apparently not. Genesis  _always_ impacted him like this. His heart was still thumping loudly in his chest as he headed away from the office, and the smile hadn't faded even slightly.

On instinct he reached into his pocket, thinking over the good news as he clasped his fingers loosely around his good luck charm. He pulled the materia out, rolling it in his palm once before tossing it up in the air and catching it in one swift motion. It was remarkable to think how much had changed since this materia had been kicked in his direction…and it was still just the beginning.


End file.
